Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#299 Nov 27, 2013
Some boy scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten.

Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, "We might as well give up!! Now the little shits are coming after us with flashlights!!!"
Fact Jack

United States

#300 Nov 27, 2013
Anyone hear of any other possible opponents?

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#301 Nov 28, 2013
Some boy scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten.

Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, "We might as well give up!! Now they're coming after us with flashlights!"

By the way, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!
Fact Jack

Greenville, KY

#302 Nov 28, 2013
Anyone hear Carrell Hubbard's name mentioned?

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#303 Nov 29, 2013
A man walked into a bakery, one day, and asked the owner for a pork chop.

The baker said, "Buddy, we are not a butcher shop! We don't sell meat here!"

So the man left.

The following day the same guy went back and asked for a pork chop again.

This time, the owner said, "No, You can't have one! I've already told you that we don't sell pork chops in a bakery, and if you come in here again I'm going to nail your ass to the wall!"

The following day the same guy returned and asked, "Do you happen to have any nails?"

The baker replied, "No, we don't!"

Then, the guy said, "That's great! I'll have two pork chops, then!"
Fact Jack

Greenville, KY

#304 Nov 29, 2013
Nothing on the Hubbard rumor
Laughing

Greenville, KY

#305 Nov 30, 2013
Time for another joke. Love them!
Fact jack

Greenville, KY

#306 Nov 30, 2013
So no help on who is running other than Whitfield. Was seriously interested.
Whoa

Greenville, KY

#308 Nov 30, 2013
Have heard of no one.

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#309 Dec 1, 2013
“Honey,” says a husband to his wife,“I invited a friend home for supper.”

“What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess! I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!!”

“I know all that.”

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

“Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
Laughing

Greenville, KY

#310 Dec 1, 2013
Ha!!!
Fact Jack

Greenville, KY

#311 Dec 1, 2013
Whoa wrote:
Have heard of no one.
Whitfield even up this year?

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#312 Dec 2, 2013
The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier:“I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.”

“Why, thank you very much, Sergeant!”
joe

Elizabethtown, KY

#313 Dec 2, 2013
jesse ventura for pres
87569abc

Murray, KY

#314 Dec 3, 2013
Whitfield probably won't announce until January, that's when he usually does. I expect we'll see a dem throw their hat in the ring before then.

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#316 Dec 4, 2013
ONLY IN AMERICA

Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America... do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America... do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America... do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America... do they use the word "politics" to describe the process so well; "Poli" in Latin meaning "many," and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."

Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering!

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#317 Dec 5, 2013
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy,'Son, how old are you?'

'Eight', the boy replied.

The man continued,'Do you know what these are used for?'

The boy replied,'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."

"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.

"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#319 Dec 7, 2013
The manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. "What is your name?" said the manager.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled. "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority," he said. "I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."

The manager said, "Soooo, John, the next thing I want to tell you about is..."

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#322 Dec 8, 2013
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. Then, she told him that she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter, and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience, and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared.

The angry woman demanded, "What the hell took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility, and I'm sorry but, due to Obama-Care, they turned you down!"

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#323 Dec 9, 2013
A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?"

The doctor replied, "A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000."

The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?"

"Well," the doctor replied,” the female brain is less because it has been used."

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