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Burner58

Denver, NC

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#1
Jun 30, 2013
 

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Ok guys and gals I have a question, me and my gf have been together for 2 years and we have a beautiful daughter together we have our own place and are both working. She is the only girl I've ever been able to trust completely I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would never lie or cheat on me. I really do love this girl with everything in me but we don't get along we're always hateful with eac other and I'm always irritable I blame it on the fact that we never have sex...like ever I can count the times In 2 years on my hands, and when we do it's awkward she's tiny so it hurts her and doesn't get any pleasure from it, I try to get her in the mood but she doesn't like making out or anything, she always says "I'm not gonna be your little whore, you can go find someone else for that" but I couldn't do that I've never even thought about cheating on her I've stuck by her thru everything, but idk if I can take much more I want to be with her but something's gotta give so what should I do?

Since: Dec 12

Asheville, NC

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#2
Jun 30, 2013
 
Burner58 wrote:
Ok guys and gals I have a question, me and my gf have been together for 2 years and we have a beautiful daughter together we have our own place and are both working. She is the only girl I've ever been able to trust completely I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would never lie or cheat on me. I really do love this girl with everything in me but we don't get along we're always hateful with eac other and I'm always irritable I blame it on the fact that we never have sex...like ever I can count the times In 2 years on my hands, and when we do it's awkward she's tiny so it hurts her and doesn't get any pleasure from it, I try to get her in the mood but she doesn't like making out or anything, she always says "I'm not gonna be your little whore, you can go find someone else for that" but I couldn't do that I've never even thought about cheating on her I've stuck by her thru everything, but idk if I can take much more I want to be with her but something's gotta give so what should I do?
Hmmm...I can sum it up on what not to do by telling you that wedding cake is commonly called the food which causes people to stop f'n! Lol It aint gonna get better dude.

On a serious note, is it possible that she has experienced a sexual trauma & never got counseling? Sometimes birth control or hormonal issues can make women not wanna have sex. Is she exhausted from work, caring for the child & doing all the household stuff? How about trying a date night where the child is away w/granny & you do a romantic date night? The resident prudes will go bananas but does she like porn? If so, get it going that way. Maybe give her pretty lingerie so she feels attractive, something pretty, but don't make her feel like your "little whore" or whatever lol don't buy 7 inch hooker shoes.

Good luck on your pursuit....
Queen

Clover, SC

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#3
Jun 30, 2013
 
sweetheart you need to start out with the little things such as telling her she is beautiful, leaving her notes around the house to say I love you-things such as that. Then if things don't change you need to talk to her and let her know how you feel. If she doesn't want to do her part in making things work than you have your answer. Wish you luck-going through something like this myself.

“See you in the funny papers...”

Since: Mar 13

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#4
Jun 30, 2013
 
Burner58 wrote:
Ok guys and gals I have a question, me and my gf have been together for 2 years and we have a beautiful daughter together we have our own place and are both working. She is the only girl I've ever been able to trust completely I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would never lie or cheat on me. I really do love this girl with everything in me but we don't get along we're always hateful with eac other and I'm always irritable I blame it on the fact that we never have sex...like ever I can count the times In 2 years on my hands, and when we do it's awkward she's tiny so it hurts her and doesn't get any pleasure from it, I try to get her in the mood but she doesn't like making out or anything, she always says "I'm not gonna be your little whore, you can go find someone else for that" but I couldn't do that I've never even thought about cheating on her I've stuck by her thru everything, but idk if I can take much more I want to be with her but something's gotta give so what should I do?
Though you aren't going to like my advice, my suggestion is that you need to recognize, as I have had to do in a couple of my previous relationships, that sometimes loving someone just isn't enough to make it work. It isn't fair, but it is simply the reality in some cases that, though two people may be in love & have a mutual respect for one another, that doesn't guarantee that they are meant to be together. I understand that you love her, and you seem like a good guy, but you need to recognize that loving her comes secondary to loving yourself & that means being unwilling to settle for a woman that you love, but who, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't make you happy & isn't even willing to try to meet you half-way so that you can feel justified investing your time, effort, & emotions into her & your relationship. Good luck, whatever you decide to do...
Burner58

Denver, NC

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#5
Jun 30, 2013
 
Also we don't have anything in common, she's a very picky eater so it's hard to take her out anywhere, she doesn't have any hobbies other than sitting at home lookin at facebook for hours on end, and being a great mother, ill try to put a movie on to watch together but she won't watch it she just sits on her phone, I don't wanna have to be a single parent cause I know it'll be hard on both of us and our child, we've tried splitting up before but we always miss each other and she says things will be different and when we get back together it goes great for about a month then it's back to the same things again

“See you in the funny papers...”

Since: Mar 13

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#6
Jun 30, 2013
 
Nita Mann wrote:
<quoted text>
Hmmm...I can sum it up on what not to do by telling you that wedding cake is commonly called the food which causes people to stop f'n! Lol It aint gonna get better dude.
On a serious note, is it possible that she has experienced a sexual trauma & never got counseling? Sometimes birth control or hormonal issues can make women not wanna have sex. Is she exhausted from work, caring for the child & doing all the household stuff? How about trying a date night where the child is away w/granny & you do a romantic date night? The resident prudes will go bananas but does she like porn? If so, get it going that way. Maybe give her pretty lingerie so she feels attractive, something pretty, but don't make her feel like your "little whore" or whatever lol don't buy 7 inch hooker shoes.
Good luck on your pursuit....
Though I agree with everything you said & am not trying to be one of the resident prudes...based on the fact that his girlfriend flips out on him & accuses him of treating her like a whore simply for trying to make out with her & set the mood, I'm thinking she would likely implode if he took your advice on porn...lol!!!
Burner58

Denver, NC

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#7
Jun 30, 2013
 
Nita Mann wrote:
<quoted text>
Hmmm...I can sum it up on what not to do by telling you that wedding cake is commonly called the food which causes people to stop f'n! Lol It aint gonna get better dude.
On a serious note, is it possible that she has experienced a sexual trauma & never got counseling? Sometimes birth control or hormonal issues can make women not wanna have sex. Is she exhausted from work, caring for the child & doing all the household stuff? How about trying a date night where the child is away w/granny & you do a romantic date night? The resident prudes will go bananas but does she like porn? If so, get it going that way. Maybe give her pretty lingerie so she feels attractive, something pretty, but don't make her feel like your "little whore" or whatever lol don't buy 7 inch hooker shoes.
Good luck on your pursuit....
She doesn't do anything around the house really it's filthy unless I clean and no she absolutely despises porn, and I do tell her she's beautiful every day multiple times we go out on dates every couple weeks but usually ends up in an argument before we make it home and it's the same when I try to talk to her about how I feel she just makes it all out to be my fault

“See you in the funny papers...”

Since: Mar 13

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#8
Jun 30, 2013
 
Burner58 wrote:
Also we don't have anything in common, she's a very picky eater so it's hard to take her out anywhere, she doesn't have any hobbies other than sitting at home lookin at facebook for hours on end, and being a great mother, ill try to put a movie on to watch together but she won't watch it she just sits on her phone, I don't wanna have to be a single parent cause I know it'll be hard on both of us and our child, we've tried splitting up before but we always miss each other and she says things will be different and when we get back together it goes great for about a month then it's back to the same things again
It sounds like you need to move on & find someone who fulfills you...everyone deserves that & not simply a bread crumb here & there. If she has promised to change more than one time before, but has, ultimately, failed to, then that should serve as a HUGE red flag. It proves that she is unwilling/unable to keep her word & given what you have described about her habits, it sounds like she is pretty self-absorbed & is less concerned with building a healthy relationship with you than she is in doing what she wants to do on her own. And, as for your child, you will be doing her NO favors by staying in a dysfunctional relationship b/c that will be the role model on which she bases her own relationships eventually. Would you ever want her to feel the way you are feeling in what is supposed to be a loving relationship???

Since: Dec 12

Asheville, NC

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#9
Jun 30, 2013
 
_Word Woman_ wrote:
<quoted text>
Though you aren't going to like my advice, my suggestion is that you need to recognize, as I have had to do in a couple of my previous relationships, that sometimes loving someone just isn't enough to make it work. It isn't fair, but it is simply the reality in some cases that, though two people may be in love & have a mutual respect for one another, that doesn't guarantee that they are meant to be together. I understand that you love her, and you seem like a good guy, but you need to recognize that loving her comes secondary to loving yourself & that means being unwilling to settle for a woman that you love, but who, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't make you happy & isn't even willing to try to meet you half-way so that you can feel justified investing your time, effort, & emotions into her & your relationship. Good luck, whatever you decide to do...
Great advice!

Since: Dec 12

Asheville, NC

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#10
Jun 30, 2013
 
_Word Woman_ wrote:
<quoted text>
It sounds like you need to move on & find someone who fulfills you...everyone deserves that & not simply a bread crumb here & there. If she has promised to change more than one time before, but has, ultimately, failed to, then that should serve as a HUGE red flag. It proves that she is unwilling/unable to keep her word & given what you have described about her habits, it sounds like she is pretty self-absorbed & is less concerned with building a healthy relationship with you than she is in doing what she wants to do on her own. And, as for your child, you will be doing her NO favors by staying in a dysfunctional relationship b/c that will be the role model on which she bases her own relationships eventually. Would you ever want her to feel the way you are feeling in what is supposed to be a loving relationship???
Good advice again! Lol! Wish I had written on here for advice years before I threw in the towel :) I suspect the child is a motivating factor in his efforts to keep on trying. Sounds to me like she's self-absorbed & sadly she isn't committed to making him happy.:(

Since: Dec 12

Asheville, NC

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#11
Jun 30, 2013
 
Burner58 wrote:
Also we don't have anything in common, she's a very picky eater so it's hard to take her out anywhere, she doesn't have any hobbies other than sitting at home lookin at facebook for hours on end, and being a great mother, ill try to put a movie on to watch together but she won't watch it she just sits on her phone, I don't wanna have to be a single parent cause I know it'll be hard on both of us and our child, we've tried splitting up before but we always miss each other and she says things will be different and when we get back together it goes great for about a month then it's back to the same things again
Your dilemma sounds VERY much like the situation I finally left after MANY years of hoping things would get better. I'm betting she has issues from the past which are wrecking your present & future. "Intimacy issues", especially that early in a relationship, is a huge red flag. If neither of you are happy in the relationship then is your child really benefitting by "being" with both of you?? It would seem to me your child will grow up happier if her parents are happier apart. Just sayin'.... I truly feel for you cause making the break is really hard. You love her so much but you can't make her love you & that notion is difficult to accept.

Since: Dec 12

Asheville, NC

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#12
Jun 30, 2013
 
_Word Woman_ wrote:
<quoted text>
Though I agree with everything you said & am not trying to be one of the resident prudes...based on the fact that his girlfriend flips out on him & accuses him of treating her like a whore simply for trying to make out with her & set the mood, I'm thinking she would likely implode if he took your advice on porn...lol!!!
Believe it or not, some prudes are receptive to porn. I said IF she would watch it...knowing that she probably would not but IF!! Lol

On a different note, I watched a brief porn video ( or three) this morning. The well-endowed guy talked NON-STOP while a cute Asian chick was pleasuring him. It was obvious she had enough of his chattering. Personally, most of the porn I've seen is downright ridiculous but usually intriguing in some strange way FDLMAO!! I look like such a prude & can say whatever anonymously here which will certainly set-off the morality police lol
really

United States

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#13
Jun 30, 2013
 
If you both want to stay together I would suggest couples counciling. And if she's hurting during intercourse I'd suggest she see a doctor and find out what the problem is.
Psyc

Greeneville, TN

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#14
Jun 30, 2013
 
It could just be a hormone issue. If her hormones are screwed up it can kill her sex drive. Sex drive is a lot more than I just don't want to have sex right now, it can also be sex is disgusting. She can be repulsed with just the thought of having sex.

If it is a sex drive problem then it's not a problem with you she's having, it's just sex period.

Take her to the doc and get her hormone levels checked. They have meds that can straighten her out. Also if she is taking any kind of SSRI's that can kill sex drive too.
Burner58

Denver, NC

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#15
Jul 1, 2013
 
Psyc wrote:
It could just be a hormone issue. If her hormones are screwed up it can kill her sex drive. Sex drive is a lot more than I just don't want to have sex right now, it can also be sex is disgusting. She can be repulsed with just the thought of having sex.
If it is a sex drive problem then it's not a problem with you she's having, it's just sex period.
Take her to the doc and get her hormone levels checked. They have meds that can straighten her out. Also if she is taking any kind of SSRI's that can kill sex drive too.
Neither if us have insurance so we can't afford the doctor or counseling :/ guess I'm gonna stick with it a few more months cause neither of us can afford to split and live on our own right now but thanks for all the advice
Best advice

Greeneville, TN

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#16
Jul 1, 2013
 
Keep her since she's a good girl, that's hard to find these days. Just go out and find you a pill head ho for your sex. That way you'll have the best of both worlds.
Burner58

Denver, NC

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#17
Jul 1, 2013
 
Best advice wrote:
Keep her since she's a good girl, that's hard to find these days. Just go out and find you a pill head ho for your sex. That way you'll have the best of both worlds.
That would be cheating and I can't do that, hell last time we split up I didn't feel right bein with other girls even tho I was single and I def don't need any pill head ho....

Since: Dec 12

Asheville, NC

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#18
Jul 1, 2013
 
Burner58 wrote:
<quoted text>
That would be cheating and I can't do that, hell last time we split up I didn't feel right bein with other girls even tho I was single and I def don't need any pill head ho....
Some of the churches, such as First Baptist, do marital counseling. To my understanding, it's usually faith based but I don't think they cram religion down your throat if you aren't interested. Also, Dr. Phil's relationship self-help books are highly regarded & can be purchased on eBay for cheap.

Sex is very very important in a relationship, in my opinion. Without the intimacy, you are merely roommates. Not a lot of fun since you are probably at an age where you have a healthy drive & want intimacy with the one you love. It seems like your equally big, if not bigger issues, are that you all don't get along, she's not putting forth effort to work on the relationship as she sits around on Facebook neglecting your needs & even her "share" of housework. Could she be involved, even if its just "emotionally involved" with someone on-line & she's just living in a fantasy land? That nonsense is hard on relationships!

Personally, I would rather be alone than be in a relationship without love or respect. If you have tried to talk to her & she has ignored you for over a few months & not willing to make changes then I think you have your answer. How much of YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE ARE YOU WILLING TO WASTE ON SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T RETURN YOUR LOVE & RESPECT?

“from parts unknown”

Since: Mar 13

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#19
Jul 1, 2013
 

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Burner58 wrote:
Ok guys and gals I have a question, me and my gf have been together for 2 years and we have a beautiful daughter together we have our own place and are both working. She is the only girl I've ever been able to trust completely I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would never lie or cheat on me. I really do love this girl with everything in me but we don't get along we're always hateful with eac other and I'm always irritable I blame it on the fact that we never have sex...like ever I can count the times In 2 years on my hands, and when we do it's awkward she's tiny so it hurts her and doesn't get any pleasure from it, I try to get her in the mood but she doesn't like making out or anything, she always says "I'm not gonna be your little whore, you can go find someone else for that" but I couldn't do that I've never even thought about cheating on her I've stuck by her thru everything, but idk if I can take much more I want to be with her but something's gotta give so what should I do?
What should you do? Get ready to pay child support.
harry

UK

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#20
Jul 12, 2013
 

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A big thanks to DR.Agbadi, who brought back my ex girlfriend. My name is
Harry Phillips, from Canada. Last year, August 26th 2012, I proposed to my
ex girlfriend and she agreed to marry me then we both planned for the
wedding. Our wedding was to hold September 30th. We had a little
misunderstanding and she left me for another guy. I almost committed
suicide; I never knew there was hope for me, a friend of mine would always
advise me to be hopeful and that one day she will come back to me, Some
times I will go to her house to ask for forgiveness to come back to me because she
really means a lot to me and I love her so much and she will ask me to
leave her alone and I should never come to her house again. I found it
really hard to fall in love with another girl, months passes by and I was
waiting patiently for her to come back to me but in my heart I was still
going through hell, there was a big hole in my heart.
**One morning I received a call from my friend and he told me to come to
his house immediately, I quickly put on my clothes and ran to his house
because I felt he was in trouble, when I got to he’s house, I met him on
his computer system and I ask him what the problem was, he said when he was
browsing through the internet, he came across some testimonies on how a
spell caster brought someone’s ex husband back. I was angry with him
because he frightened me and now he’s telling about spell caster. I told
him to forget about the matter because I never believed in spell casters,
he asked me if I really want my ex girlfriend to come back to me and I said
yes so he said I should give it a try because if you really need something
that is very important to your life, then you go for it. I agreed to what
he said and I took the spell casters email address and I emailed him, few
minutes later he replied me and asked what can he do for me so I told him
what I wanted and he asked me to do what ever he asked of me which I did.
He told me not to worry that my ex girlfriend will come back crawling on
her kneels asking for forgiveness as soon as he cast the spell so he cast
the spell and the following day my ex girlfriend came back to me, right now
I and my girlfriend are happy. This is the reason I decided to put it in
writing so that anybody that is hopeless will find the reason to be
hopeful. If you are in the same situation, DR Agbadi is the right spell
caster that will solve your problem, You can email him
on: dragbadilaguspelltemple@gmail. com try and see what he can do!

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