Greeneville Singles Mixer

Greeneville Singles Mixer

Posted in the Greeneville Forum

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Since: Oct 11

Location hidden

#1 Nov 27, 2011
A Greeneville Singles Mixer will be held next Tuesday in the Sporting Goods section of the Walmart Supercenter on East Andrew Johnson Highway.

Here are the ground rules:

- Shirt, shoes and pants required

- Teeth, optional

- No cousins

- No sheep

- No farting (ok, no loud farting)

- You must park in the parking lot, not the lobby

- Deodorant, optional

- No pets

- You may bring NO MORE than eleven (11) of your children

- Hoverounds will be supplied for our Plus-Sized attendees

- 5PM to 7PM - Snack Cake Happy Hour

- You may NOT cook meth in the bathrooms during regular business hours

So be sure to bathe, break-out your best Sunday muumuu and wax your front-butt, because it's TIME TO MINGLE!

(Disclaimer: Before you monkeys get excited, this was a joke)
LoL

Strawberry Plains, TN

#2 Nov 27, 2011
Yo forgot to make sure their is toilet paper in the fitting rooms :)
LoL

Strawberry Plains, TN

#3 Nov 27, 2011
grr..."there", even rednecks like me have a bad day.

"You forgot to make sure there is toilet paper in their fitting rooms." There!!

Going to go brush up on my skills now....

http://www.better-english.com/easier/theyre.h...
Jethro

Smyrna, TN

#4 Nov 27, 2011
Comment Samurai wrote:
A Greeneville Singles Mixer will be held next Tuesday in the Sporting Goods section of the Walmart Supercenter on East Andrew Johnson Highway.
Here are the ground rules:
- Shirt, shoes and pants required
- Teeth, optional
- No cousins
- No sheep
- No farting (ok, no loud farting)
- You must park in the parking lot, not the lobby
- Deodorant, optional
- No pets
- You may bring NO MORE than eleven (11) of your children
- Hoverounds will be supplied for our Plus-Sized attendees
- 5PM to 7PM - Snack Cake Happy Hour
- You may NOT cook meth in the bathrooms during regular business hours
So be sure to bathe, break-out your best Sunday muumuu and wax your front-butt, because it's TIME TO MINGLE!
(Disclaimer: Before you monkeys get excited, this was a joke)
I got a serious problem with the no sheep thing.

Since: Oct 11

Location hidden

#5 Nov 27, 2011
Jethro wrote:
<quoted text>I got a serious problem with the no sheep thing.
Ok. Sheep are allowed, if they're on a leash.
Jethro

Smyrna, TN

#6 Nov 27, 2011
Comment Samurai wrote:
<quoted text>
Ok. Sheep are allowed, if they're on a leash.
If not, I'm takin' her to Petsmart.
Nita Mann

Nebo, NC

#7 Nov 27, 2011
Omg! Lmao! Funny! You forgot to list having a job as a requirement but since so many will be left out then ok ok ok, we can lower our standards for the greater good of hooking up!

Btw....I think comment samurai has multiple e personalities/aliases!
LoL

Strawberry Plains, TN

#8 Nov 27, 2011
Nita Mann wrote:
Omg! Lmao! Funny! You forgot to list having a job as a requirement but since so many will be left out then ok ok ok, we can lower our standards for the greater good of hooking up!
Btw....I think comment samurai has multiple e personalities/aliases!
Wouldn't trying to please you be considered a full time job?

lmao

Since: Oct 11

Location hidden

#9 Nov 27, 2011
Nita Mann wrote:
Omg! Lmao! Funny! You forgot to list having a job as a requirement but since so many will be left out then ok ok ok, we can lower our standards for the greater good of hooking up!
Btw....I think comment samurai has multiple e personalities/aliases!
I do not. I have never posted on Topix under any other screen name, moniker nor alias.

In fact, I deplore the act, as I consider it creepy and weird.

Since: Oct 11

Location hidden

#10 Nov 27, 2011
LoL wrote:
<quoted text>
Wouldn't trying to please you be considered a full time job?
lmao
There's nothing wrong with big women. There's just more to love. And hold on to.
Ninjutsu Warrior

Smyrna, TN

#11 Nov 27, 2011
Comment Samurai wrote:
<quoted text>
I do not. I have never posted on Topix under any other screen name, moniker nor alias.
In fact, I deplore the act, as I consider it creepy and weird.
Who you calling creepy and weird?

Since: Oct 11

Location hidden

#12 Nov 27, 2011
Ninjutsu Warrior wrote:
<quoted text>Who you calling creepy and weird?
No comment.
ZiT ReMeDeY

Clover, SC

#13 Nov 27, 2011
Does the sheep have to have teeth?And are mullets and rat tail sporters welcome?I I hope you have Vienna sausage and sardines for snacks
Clyde

Brooksville, FL

#14 Nov 27, 2011
I'm on the prowl for a plump toothless woman that likes some gulps of good "shine" in the parking lot near my van.
After awhile she can get in the Wal-Mart aisles and shake her rump around like jello.
Nita Mann

Nebo, NC

#15 Nov 27, 2011
ZiT ReMeDeY wrote:
Does the sheep have to have teeth?And are mullets and rat tail sporters welcome?I I hope you have Vienna sausage and sardines for snacks
Now THAT was funny! Do the sheep have to have teeth?! Lol lol lol
Fdlof!
Just a guy

Herndon, KY

#16 Nov 27, 2011
You shouldn't try to fit everyone into 1 place. Break it up into groups, the groups could go places they relate to.
Electronics, for the ones who play video games all day.
Snack food aisle, for the fat people
Up front (blocking the main aisle) for the lazy people.
At the TV's for all the washed up ex-jocks (ESPN is a must)
Pet section, for all the ones who prefer the company of a 4 legged friend.
Automotive, for all the gear heads.
Pharmacy, for all the pill heads.
Cosmetics, for those with low self esteem.

This might inhibit the whole concept of "mixer" but really, do you think anyone in Greeneville is open minded enough to go out of their little world and expose themselves to something new?

If I failed to insult any particular group, I apologize.

Since: Oct 11

Location hidden

#17 Nov 27, 2011
Just a guy wrote:
You shouldn't try to fit everyone into 1 place. Break it up into groups, the groups could go places they relate to.
Electronics, for the ones who play video games all day.
Snack food aisle, for the fat people
Up front (blocking the main aisle) for the lazy people.
At the TV's for all the washed up ex-jocks (ESPN is a must)
Pet section, for all the ones who prefer the company of a 4 legged friend.
Automotive, for all the gear heads.
Pharmacy, for all the pill heads.
Cosmetics, for those with low self esteem.
This might inhibit the whole concept of "mixer" but really, do you think anyone in Greeneville is open minded enough to go out of their little world and expose themselves to something new?
If I failed to insult any particular group, I apologize.
50 year old perverted men in the Teen Girls section.
ZiT ReMeDeY

Clover, SC

#18 Nov 27, 2011
Beaver grooming class,birth control,oil viscosity,ear and nose hair and doe in heat groups are having a hands on workshop.
Nita Mann

United States

#19 Nov 27, 2011
ZiT ReMeDeY wrote:
Beaver grooming class,birth control,oil viscosity,ear and nose hair and doe in heat groups are having a hands on workshop.
Beaver grooming has been mastered; therefore, sign me up for the doe in heat workshop.

For those with special needs, how about mullet & rattail grooming care at the hair salon?
ZiT ReMeDeY

Clover, SC

#20 Nov 27, 2011
Coonhound pedicure.

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