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Turd Ferguson

Greeneville, TN

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#2
Apr 8, 2013
 
Drop my drawers, take a dump, wipe my ass, flush, wash my hands, repeat.

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

Since: Feb 11

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#4
Apr 8, 2013
 
PoopyBallZ wrote:
There are certain rituals I do before I drop the turd. I find something nice to read and a one of my cats to keep me company. What about you people?
I get a roll of tp .....
I make sure I have a house coat to throw over my legs so I don't get cold. Then I grab my phone... Sometimes a good book... Or a pillow if it's late and I'm really tired... And then a lil foot stool to prop my feet on... I'm just short enough that my legs fall asleep easily when I can't prop them up.... And I take an hour or so... Late
night/early morning, that way I'm not disturbed.

Ha.:)
georgia peach

United States

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#5
Apr 8, 2013
 
GApeach-TNflower wrote:
<quoted text>
I get a roll of tp .....
I make sure I have a house coat to throw over my legs so I don't get cold. Then I grab my phone... Sometimes a good book... Or a pillow if it's late and I'm really tired... And then a lil foot stool to prop my feet on... I'm just short enough that my legs fall asleep easily when I can't prop them up.... And I take an hour or so... Late
night/early morning, that way I'm not disturbed.
Ha.:)
Don't forget to wipe you're kris long

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

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#6
Apr 8, 2013
 

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georgia peach wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't forget to wipe you're kris long
This was said in regards to taking one not cleaning up after one. In that case, i give myself a courtesy flush, I wipe until clean, using only the best flushable baby wipes and then flush again. I stand, pull my britches up and put away all of the elements I explained I would retrieve in my earlier post... Then I head back to bed.

And would you care to explain how he matters in how I take my sh!t?

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

Since: Feb 11

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#7
Apr 8, 2013
 

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georgia peach wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't forget to wipe you're kris long
Oh and I forgot... I wash my hands right after I pull my pants up! Just thought you might want full routine.

“I do not censor my comments..”

Since: Sep 12

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#11
Apr 9, 2013
 
This is literally a sh!tty topic to discuss ;)
concentrate

Bulls Gap, TN

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#12
Apr 9, 2013
 
I get on topix

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

Since: Feb 11

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#13
Apr 9, 2013
 

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PoopyBallZ wrote:
<quoted text>
Pooping.my phone autocorrects
I can laugh about this and go on about it all day. I have one child that, at age 7, still needs a toddlers toilet seat... He won't use it tho. So he sinks in and almost looks to be falling in.... I have so many blackmail pics... Especially the ones where his lil legs are so close to his chest from falling in that he just laid his head over and fell asleep on the toilet. Lol I use to have to sit on a stool and let him lay his head in my lap. The funniest thing about pooping in my house... Everyone gets their private moment but me... That's why if/when it hits me at 3 am... I welcome it. Haha

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#14
Apr 9, 2013
 

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uneducated hick wrote:
This is literally a sh!tty topic to discuss ;)
What you meant to say is that you light soft scented candles and meditate, right? Lol

Since: Jan 11

Greeneville TN

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#15
Apr 9, 2013
 
PoopyBallZ wrote:
There are certain rituals I do before I drop the turd. I find something nice to read and a one of my cats to keep me company. What about you people?
Funny you should say that. I have a cat that thinks she has to be in the bathroom with me every time. I have to run a little water in the sink for her to play in and she wants to sit on my lap. If I want private time, I have to hurry and close the door before she slips in. And when I open the door, there are 2 cats and a little dog sitting there waiting for me. It's funny. What do they think goes on in there? Are they worried I'll not make it out? I've never come out of there with food. I don't get it.

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

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#16
Apr 9, 2013
 
MystDefy wrote:
<quoted text>Funny you should say that. I have a cat that thinks she has to be in the bathroom with me every time. I have to run a little water in the sink for her to play in and she wants to sit on my lap. If I want private time, I have to hurry and close the door before she slips in. And when I open the door, there are 2 cats and a little dog sitting there waiting for me. It's funny. What do they think goes on in there? Are they worried I'll not make
it out? I've never come out of there with food. I
don't get it.
My cat climbs on my back and shoulders and perches himself there... If he doesn't come in, he will paw under the door. Lol

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Since: Sep 12

United States

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#17
Apr 9, 2013
 
GApeach-TNflower wrote:
<quoted text>
What you meant to say is that you light soft scented candles and meditate, right? Lol
How did you kno that? That is excately how I handle my "sh!tty business". I use lavender scented. The smell of lavender an the smell I produce accent perfectly together ;)

Still, how did you know? I had assumed someone had a voodoo doll of me awhile back. Now I'm beginning to believe it could've been you lol

Since: Feb 13

Greeneville, TN

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#18
Apr 9, 2013
 
bed over grab my knees out it comes like rotten cheeze!
LankinLawg

Kodak, TN

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#21
Apr 9, 2013
 
I open the front door and screen door.kick hound off porch..tiptoe past the chickens in my leopard print Festus Hagan union suit,spray Whood Wharsper killer in the out house,open hatch on my tongo drawers and commence to dropping a 2 lb. Pork loin in the lime dust.

Since: Jan 11

Greeneville TN

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#22
Apr 9, 2013
 
LankinLawg wrote:
I open the front door and screen door.kick hound off porch..tiptoe past the chickens in my leopard print Festus Hagan union suit,spray Whood Wharsper killer in the out house,open hatch on my tongo drawers and commence to dropping a 2 lb. Pork loin in the lime dust.
Good Lard, we have a winner.

Since: Mar 13

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#23
Apr 9, 2013
 
LankinLawg wrote:
I open the front door and screen door.kick hound off porch..tiptoe past the chickens in my leopard print Festus Hagan union suit,spray Whood Wharsper killer in the out house,open hatch on my tongo drawers and commence to dropping a 2 lb. Pork loin in the lime dust.
I'd like to write a biography novel based on your pooping ritual. I'm certain we could even make a movie out of this! I tell ya, I laughed, I cried... Simply amazing...

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

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#24
Apr 9, 2013
 
LankinLawg wrote:
I open the front door and screen door.kick hound off porch..tiptoe past the chickens in my leopard print Festus Hagan union suit,spray Whood Wharsper killer in the out house,open hatch on my tongo drawers and commence to dropping a 2 lb. Pork loin in the lime dust.
It just don't get any better than this! Lmao

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

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#27
Apr 9, 2013
 
uneducated hick wrote:
<quoted text> How did you kno that? That is excately how I handle my "sh!tty business". I use lavender scented. The smell of lavender an the smell I produce accent perfectly together ;)
Still, how did you know? I had assumed someone had a voodoo doll of me awhile back. Now I'm beginning to believe it could've been you lol
There isn't any limitations to my stalking qualifications... I'll stalk you in many situations, even in your defacations.:) lol
LankinLawg

Kodak, TN

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#28
Apr 9, 2013
 
Based on true story.My thing caused turdal cloning.Thus the flap in back.Kinda like Fecal Contraception.
puddin_tame

Mooresboro, NC

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#29
Apr 9, 2013
 
Sounds like you people need to buy a metal detector and get a life.

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