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InTheCloset

Jonesborough, TN

#1 Jul 18, 2011
I need some advice....

I'm a lesbian but I have not came out of the closet yet and am afraid to. My parents and entire fam are baptists and are super religious, needless to say they won't approve so I have no idea how to come out to them.
I have a bf as well that I love to pieces but I just don't feel sexually attracted to him, he's more like my best friend but I felt I had to go through the motions of being straight for my fam, but we've been together for almost a year though and it's going to hurt him too, and I'm afraid of how it will affect my 3 yr old son...
I don't want anyone mad or disappointed in me but I don't want to continue being unhappy, what should I do???

Pls help!
u wish

Sevierville, TN

#2 Jul 18, 2011
InTheCloset wrote:
I need some advice....

I'm a lesbian but I have not came out of the closet yet and am afraid to. My parents and entire fam are baptists and are super religious, needless to say they won't approve so I have no idea how to come out to them.
I have a bf as well that I love to pieces but I just don't feel sexually attracted to him, he's more like my best friend but I felt I had to go through the motions of being straight for my fam, but we've been together for almost a year though and it's going to hurt him too, and I'm afraid of how it will affect my 3 yr old son...
I don't want anyone mad or disappointed in me but I don't want to continue being unhappy, what should I do???

Pls help!
U should be who u want to be. If your family loves u they should not care who u are attracted to.. U can't help who u want to too at and what u like.. It comes naturally. I didnt just wake up one day and decide I wanted to be bisexual.. things like this u are just born with..
mee

Greer, SC

#3 Jul 18, 2011
i know where you are coming from. im in the same situation
InTheCloset

Jonesborough, TN

#4 Jul 18, 2011
mee wrote:
i know where you are coming from. im in the same situation
It's hard, u dont want to disappoint anyone and it's made me distant from my family...Do u plan to come out soon?
Big John

Fort Campbell, TN

#5 Jul 18, 2011
InTheCloset wrote:
I need some advice....
I'm a lesbian but I have not came out of the closet yet and am afraid to. My parents and entire fam are baptists and are super religious, needless to say they won't approve so I have no idea how to come out to them.
I have a bf as well that I love to pieces but I just don't feel sexually attracted to him, he's more like my best friend but I felt I had to go through the motions of being straight for my fam, but we've been together for almost a year though and it's going to hurt him too, and I'm afraid of how it will affect my 3 yr old son...
I don't want anyone mad or disappointed in me but I don't want to continue being unhappy, what should I do???
Pls help!
Try to learn to like having the big one thrust between your thighs.
Malari_Knox420

United States

#6 Jul 18, 2011
I had a best friend growing up that struggled with the same problem. He died in a car accident when he was 19. He had come out a year before and told me it was the best thing he'd ever done. At his funeral, his own preacher, a person he talked to and confined in said that MCM was definitely going to heaven because he was such a great person... Even that man had compassion. Everyone breathed a little lighter. And my best friend, the greatest person I ever knew, died happy. And I'm glad for him. You should definitely speak up. It will be a huge relief to you.
Truth

United States

#7 Jul 19, 2011
This is your life and although you don't want to upset or disappoint anyone you have to be who you are or you're going to continue upsetting yourself. You can't change the person you are just to make others happy. If they love you they will accept you as you are. I am a firm believer in God and I have kids of my own and there is no way I'd ever turn my back on them. It's also not our place to judge others so hopefully your family will leave that to God.

Everyone has a right to be happy and no one has a right to belittle you or make you feel upset. If you don't tell them then your entire life will be a lie & you will be miserable with many regrets. I wish you the best and all the happiness in the world.
THEHIGHHORSEMAN

Antioch, TN

#8 Jul 19, 2011
quit deluding yourself. just choose to not be ghey. the same way you choose to be ghey. all this b.s. about being "born that way" is a cop out made by those who wont take responsibility for their actions.

and another thing....
you are not "bi-sexual" you are ghey!
just because you have allowed yourself to be confused doesnt change the facts.

engage in homo behavior and you are a ghey.
InTheCloset

Jonesborough, TN

#9 Jul 19, 2011
I didn't "choose" to be, it's who I'm attracted to...
mee

United States

#10 Jul 19, 2011
no their opinion is important to me. If you dont have your family you have noone but this is just my beliefs
InTheCloset

Jonesborough, TN

#12 Jul 19, 2011
mee wrote:
no their opinion is important to me. If you dont have your family you have noone but this is just my beliefs
I agree completely, it's like choosing to be happy or choosing to be close to ur family. And my fam is closed minded because of their beliefs but I love them and don't want to be seen as a disappointment to them

Since: Dec 09

Knoxville, TN

#13 Jul 19, 2011
Pay no attention to the naysayers and haters... They have nothing better to do other than to get on here and try to scare and upset people.

Do you feel comfortable trying to be around other gay and lesbian people? There are a lot of single parents who are LGBT. And it can help to talk to folks who have been through the coming out process--so that you can figure out how to deal with your family.

On facebook there is the "Northeast Tennessee Pride" organization.

I know that there is a LGBT Church in Johnson City. I believe it's called "Rainbow Community Church".

There's also "St. Paul's Episcopal Church" in Kingsport (their motto is "Open to all, closed to none"). Their website is http://stpaulskingsport.org/

You can find other LGBT churches at http://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/united...

The key to to not be alone. There are so many online organizations to help you with your process.

Send me an email if you want to talk.
dont sin

Fort Campbell, TN

#14 Jul 19, 2011
Malari_Knox420 wrote:
I had a best friend growing up that struggled with the same problem. He died in a car accident when he was 19. He had come out a year before and told me it was the best thing he'd ever done. At his funeral, his own preacher, a person he talked to and confined in said that MCM was definitely going to heaven because he was such a great person... Even that man had compassion. Everyone breathed a little lighter. And my best friend, the greatest person I ever knew, died happy. And I'm glad for him. You should definitely speak up. It will be a huge relief to you.
Lets hope he repented of his sins.You might want get back in church and get your life straight and make your child and christan family proud.Might not want to listen to few of these gay people on here.You sound as you know the right way,you just have the devil leading you right now.Hope you make the right choice and god bless.

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#15 Jul 19, 2011
You are who you are. Don't let close-minded bigots tell you that you are wrong, sick, or some evil sinner bound for hell. It's none of their business, anyway.

I hope your family can choose their love for you over their prejudices that they have acquired from society at large.
giggles

Abingdon, VA

#16 Jul 19, 2011
It's brave of you to admit this to your self (that's a great first step!). Your happiness is important and hopefully your family will understand that and love you for who you are. I'm sure it's easier said than done. Good luck and be strong!
More information

Ten Mile, TN

#17 Jul 19, 2011
InTheCloset wrote:
I need some advice....
I'm a lesbian but I have not came out of the closet yet and am afraid to. My parents and entire fam are baptists and are super religious, needless to say they won't approve so I have no idea how to come out to them.
I have a bf as well that I love to pieces but I just don't feel sexually attracted to him, he's more like my best friend but I felt I had to go through the motions of being straight for my fam, but we've been together for almost a year though and it's going to hurt him too, and I'm afraid of how it will affect my 3 yr old son...
I don't want anyone mad or disappointed in me but I don't want to continue being unhappy, what should I do???
Pls help!
So are you one of hose butch types ? That turns me off and helps close my desire to accept and understand. Your 3 year old could give a shit as long as you are a good mother. Are you sure your boyfriend is straight, because he must know your not turned on during sex, or your are a damn good actress. Either way you will hurt this boy. And as far as your family, it will never be the same, but you can live your life with out being a flaming lybian and keep them in it. I feel you are young and uncertain exactly what the hell you are, so before you commit for the rest of your life, spend a little time growing up and who says you have to announce a damn thing. You are the one living it, put yourself in their place and think things thru before you hurt yourself or the people you say you care about.

Since: Dec 09

Knoxville, TN

#18 Jul 20, 2011
More information wrote:
<quoted text>
So are you one of hose butch types ? That turns me off and helps close my desire to accept and understand. Your 3 year old could give a shit as long as you are a good mother. Are you sure your boyfriend is straight, because he must know your not turned on during sex, or your are a damn good actress. Either way you will hurt this boy. And as far as your family, it will never be the same, but you can live your life with out being a flaming lybian and keep them in it. I feel you are young and uncertain exactly what the hell you are, so before you commit for the rest of your life, spend a little time growing up and who says you have to announce a damn thing. You are the one living it, put yourself in their place and think things thru before you hurt yourself or the people you say you care about.
You need to work on taking care of yourself. You can't be responsible for how other people feel about you. Folks can be awfully judgmental. And if you give them a chance they'll rake you over the coals.

The main thing is to surround yourself with supportive, helpful people--people who you can confide in.

And remember, all of these people who are trying to scare you with religious dogma--most of them don't know what they're talking about. Christ did not speak out against homosexuality.

However, He did command His followers to love God and love their neighbors as they love themselves. If these Christians would follow those two basic commandments this world would be such a nicer place.
InTheCloset

Jonesborough, TN

#19 Jul 20, 2011
More information wrote:
<quoted text>
So are you one of hose butch types ? That turns me off and helps close my desire to accept and understand. Your 3 year old could give a shit as long as you are a good mother. Are you sure your boyfriend is straight, because he must know your not turned on during sex, or your are a damn good actress. Either way you will hurt this boy. And as far as your family, it will never be the same, but you can live your life with out being a flaming lybian and keep them in it. I feel you are young and uncertain exactly what the hell you are, so before you commit for the rest of your life, spend a little time growing up and who says you have to announce a damn thing. You are the one living it, put yourself in their place and think things thru before you hurt yourself or the people you say you care about.
No I'm not butch....and my bf thinks I'm bi
THEHIGHHORSEMAN

Antioch, TN

#20 Jul 20, 2011
hahahaha....
you are not "bi" you are ghey.
once you make the choice to turn on what you were born as (a heterosexual)you are ghey. this whole concept of being bi just because you cant make up yur mind is non-sense. engage in homo behavior and yur a homo. you dont just get to come back to the home team so to speak. just quit deluding yurself.

imo it doesnt matter what you do or how you have sex, it really is nobodys business. until you come on here trying to get attention and asking for opinions. get over yurself. quit messin with yur b/f`s head and screwing with yur family and commit to somthin and then be ready to deal with the consequences of yur actions..........and i hope you find happiness.
InTheCloset

Jonesborough, TN

#21 Jul 20, 2011
I'm not seeking attention, just advice. This is a hard thing to deal with as it is so please keep ur negative comments to urself or find another thread to follow.

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