cemetary decoration
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Get Real

Greeneville, TN

#1 May 9, 2013
Seems to me that we are losing the tradiition of decorating the graves of our loved ones. used to see the cemetaries just full of flowers, now they are there one week and gone the next. What is happening to our traditions?
Rules

Midway, TN

#2 May 10, 2013
Some cemeteries have more rules and some have no family left to decorate.
Get Real

Greeneville, TN

#3 May 10, 2013
Rules wrote:
Some cemeteries have more rules and some have no family left to decorate.
That is sad. I can remember going to the cemetaries every sunday with my family to give respect to those who had passed before us. Seems now days that they are all forgotten. I also think that all of the rules are BS... so they may have to use a weedeater around a stone or flowers poor babies!

Since: Jan 13

Utica, KY

#4 May 11, 2013
I heard the groundskeepers throws the decor away when they mow. So your just wasting money for flowers.
Golly

Greeneville, TN

#5 May 11, 2013
It is nice to remember our loved ones on a special day. However, I see famiies who "compete" with flowers to see who can outdo who. Comical in a way. I think you can show respect by maintaining the grave site year round, not so much with "decorations", but by trimming and cleaning the grass and monument. I know some folks think you need to "go all out", but really, those who have passed just need our prayers and respect. To each his own.

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

Since: Feb 11

Location hidden

#6 May 11, 2013
Don't waste your time placing flowers for me when I pass... Live your life to it's fullest and remember me in your thoughts...

You're right Kristilou... Although, most cemetaries have guidelines that will tell you when the flowers will be removed.

When I was growing up, my best friend's family were "grave diggers and grounds keepers" so I practically lived with the dead... We cleaned the grounds once a week so that the cemetery was neat and clean. If the flowers were in vases, on the stone, we only pulled them when they died or faded... And IF the family chose to do the upkeep them selves, i.e, mowing, weedeating their family member's plot(s).... Then we moved on to the next one. It's about physical appearance at that point... No one wants to be placed in the ground where it looks drab and rundown... So I've heard..... I, myself, will be cremated so I could care less...:)
South Greene Resident

Jonesborough, TN

#7 May 11, 2013
Save the planet for the living, pretty soon there will be so many cemeteries there won't be room for those still breathing. Save your money, too. Get cremated. I find this whole decorating thing a waste. Why obligate your descendants to take care of your grave forever and ever. Your loved one's live in your memory, plastic flowers are for show, not for respect.
act of respect and love

Greeneville, TN

#8 May 11, 2013
South Greene Resident wrote:
Save the planet for the living, pretty soon there will be so many cemeteries there won't be room for those still breathing. Save your money, too. Get cremated. I find this whole decorating thing a waste. Why obligate your descendants to take care of your grave forever and ever. Your loved one's live in your memory, plastic flowers are for show, not for respect.
Caring for my great-grandfather and great-grandmother, grandfather and grandmother, father, mother and a few other family members is such a work of love and respect. I am thankful to care for the resting place of their bodies. Hopefully their souls are with our Heavenly Father. I smile as I mow and care for their graves. I vividly remember my grandfather and grandmother and of course my mother and father. I even help care for my other set of great and grand parents graves. I know my Father in Heaven will say job well done when I get to Heaven because I mow and care because I loved and respected those I knew and those I just heard stores about. I don't care what anybody says taking care of family graves has always been and should still be out of love and respect.

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

Since: Feb 11

Location hidden

#9 May 11, 2013
I'd rather be shown love and respect when I'm alive... Although, I understand the tradition and the meaning of... I just do not want my family and friends to feel that obligation... Rejoice in my death and live your lives as if you'll be seeing me tomorrow... Along side of OUR Maker...
South Greene Resident

Jonesborough, TN

#10 May 11, 2013
act of respect and love wrote:
<quoted text>
Caring for my great-grandfather and great-grandmother, grandfather and grandmother, father, mother and a few other family members is such a work of love and respect. I am thankful to care for the resting place of their bodies. Hopefully their souls are with our Heavenly Father. I smile as I mow and care for their graves. I vividly remember my grandfather and grandmother and of course my mother and father. I even help care for my other set of great and grand parents graves. I know my Father in Heaven will say job well done when I get to Heaven because I mow and care because I loved and respected those I knew and those I just heard stores about. I don't care what anybody says taking care of family graves has always been and should still be out of love and respect.
To each his own, but eventually the people in your family expected to take care of these graves will not have any memory of the people buried there. They will not feel the way you do about the people buried there. Do you think that all the generations of your family should strive to live within a few miles of the cemetery for the next million years? Don't let them move away or there will be no one to care for graves. It just makes no sense to me. Scatter some ashes, look at some old photos. I guess I am not going to get God's gold star like you are expecting, but it is okay with me. I did love my relatives that have passed and I do respect their memories, I just choose to remember and respect them in a different way that does not require me and my children and their children to continue to tend a plot of land.
no different

Greeneville, TN

#11 May 11, 2013
GApeach-TNflower wrote:
I'd rather be shown love and respect when I'm alive... Although, I understand the tradition and the meaning of... I just do not want my family and friends to feel that obligation... Rejoice in my death and live your lives as if you'll be seeing me tomorrow... Along side of OUR Maker...
If they loved you man obligation has nothing to do with it. Caring for a grave is no different than caring for the person when they were alive. My mother didn't even know me when she died and she does not know that I lovingly take care of her resting place now. Honor your mother and father man. It's one of the commandments.
no different

Greeneville, TN

#12 May 11, 2013
South Greene Resident wrote:
<quoted text>
To each his own, but eventually the people in your family expected to take care of these graves will not have any memory of the people buried there. They will not feel the way you do about the people buried there. Do you think that all the generations of your family should strive to live within a few miles of the cemetery for the next million years? Don't let them move away or there will be no one to care for graves. It just makes no sense to me. Scatter some ashes, look at some old photos. I guess I am not going to get God's gold star like you are expecting, but it is okay with me. I did love my relatives that have passed and I do respect their memories, I just choose to remember and respect them in a different way that does not require me and my children and their children to continue to tend a plot of land.


I would imagine your children will not visit your grave or your memory when you reach "the under side". "Tending a plot" how cold.
no different

Greeneville, TN

#13 May 11, 2013
GApeach-TNflower wrote:
I'd rather be shown love and respect when I'm alive... Although, I understand the tradition and the meaning of... I just do not want my family and friends to feel that obligation... Rejoice in my death and live your lives as if you'll be seeing me tomorrow... Along side of OUR Maker...
That same "maker" will know of your excuses. Don't you know that?

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

Since: Feb 11

Location hidden

#14 May 11, 2013
no different wrote:
<quoted text>
If they loved you man obligation has nothing to do with it. Caring for a grave is no different than caring for the person when they were alive. My mother didn't even know me when she died and she does not know that I lovingly take care of her resting place now. Honor your mother and father man. It's one of the commandments.
I have loved ones whom choose to carry on with decoration. I grew up in a different world I suppose. I helped to dig the earth in which many were laid to rest. I helped cover them with ground once their families drove away sobbing... I've seen much of the inside world of this tradition... And I'm inclined to believe that it is just that, tradition. I do not disrespect you for your choice. My children will not honor me in that respect... Because for it to be an honor for me, they mustn't carry on in any tradition. I do know "Honor thy Father and thy Mother"... Which by definition should be reciprocated as I would approve in behavior before I pass... not in my death. as I stated before, I will be turned to dust and returned to the earth... There will be no stationary place for my children nor my family to bring flowers. I'd prefer they honor me in memories and in their unconditional loving and giving actions... Nothing more. If God wanted us to place flowers and decorations, he would've said to mourn us in death and forget us not where our bodies lay... To each it's own, but it's not for me. Jmo.

“Cure 4 ignorance-> Knowledge!”

Since: Feb 11

Location hidden

#15 May 11, 2013
no different wrote:
<quoted text>
That same "maker" will know of your excuses. Don't you know that?
Ooh, ooh, ooh... I missed this one.!!! How dare I...?!? I KNOW MANY THINGS. this isn't a You're going to hell for not putting flowers on a grave post".... Man. This is talking about a tradition that is not being carried forth into the future and inquiring minds wondering why... My opinion JUST MAY be one of the reasons why. I am simply giving insight, as is "south greene"... There is absolutely NO ONE OF THIS EARTH whom can suggest that I, OR ANYONE ELSE... will be on the "underside" of anything.
Specifically so... YOU. so, do us all a favor... Think what you want, all you want. But keep your hypocritical comments to yourself. The Bible is full of warnings that our sins will Damn us all to hell.... But only each of us, individually, will know if that's where we are going. My Relationship with MY MAKER is absolutely NONE of your concern... And for as long as I've lived, I have NEVER read, heard nor even imagined that "honoring my father and mother" consisted of placing flowers on a grave in which they are not occupying. This may be your belief... You believe it... You spend your days at a cemetery doing what you think is right... I'll never say a word. But how about you let me live my life and let me worry about if I make it to see MY MAKER... because that's something you will never know, man.
South Greene Resident

Jonesborough, TN

#17 May 12, 2013
no different wrote:
<quoted text>
I would imagine your children will not visit your grave or your memory when you reach "the under side". "Tending a plot" how cold.
Cremation is the way to go. I guess I will be visiting h*ll while you bask in the God's glory because decorating graves is on his top ten. I hope my children live their lives, tend the living and remember my acts of kindness. My final act will be to send them on a seaside vacation to scatter ashes and not have to do travel from another state to put flowers on a grave every year.
Charles

Johnson City, TN

#18 May 12, 2013
GApeach-TNflower wrote:
<quoted text>
Ooh, ooh, ooh... I missed this one.!!! How dare I...?!? I KNOW MANY THINGS. this isn't a You're going to hell for not putting flowers on a grave post".... Man. This is talking about a tradition that is not being carried forth into the future and inquiring minds wondering why... My opinion JUST MAY be one of the reasons why. I am simply giving insight, as is "south greene"... There is absolutely NO ONE OF THIS EARTH whom can suggest that I, OR ANYONE ELSE... will be on the "underside" of anything.
Specifically so... YOU. so, do us all a favor... Think what you want, all you want. But keep your hypocritical comments to yourself. The Bible is full of warnings that our sins will Damn us all to hell.... But only each of us, individually, will know if that's where we are going. My Relationship with MY MAKER is absolutely NONE of your concern... And for as long as I've lived, I have NEVER read, heard nor even imagined that "honoring my father and mother" consisted of placing flowers on a grave in which they are not occupying. This may be your belief... You believe it... You spend your days at a cemetery doing what you think is right... I'll never say a word. But how about you let me live my life and let me worry about if I make it to see MY MAKER... because that's something you will never know, man.
You are more ignorant than I first suspected.

“Read all about it!”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#19 May 12, 2013
I'm on the side of Ga Peach and south greene here...it's okay if you want to tend graves.. it's a ritual soothing to many, but I don't think it is a requirement...Same way with funerals.. I do NOT do funerals of ANYONE.. I can't take them.. I prefer to show my family that I love them while they are alive, not try to show my love when they are dead and gone. Plus, the expense of a funeral causes so many families to go into terrible debt.. I don't believe in that crap. Cremation for me too.

Since: Jan 13

Utica, KY

#20 May 12, 2013
FriendofDog wrote:
I'm on the side of Ga Peach and south greene here...it's okay if you want to tend graves.. it's a ritual soothing to many, but I don't think it is a requirement...Same way with funerals.. I do NOT do funerals of ANYONE.. I can't take them.. I prefer to show my family that I love them while they are alive, not try to show my love when they are dead and gone. Plus, the expense of a funeral causes so many families to go into terrible debt.. I don't believe in that crap. Cremation for me too.
i agree with u on this one , i dont like funerals either. I want to be cremated, i dont like to be the center of attention.

“is your friend ”

Since: Mar 12

Location hidden

#21 May 12, 2013
I don't think that flowers on grave are bothered. When the wind blows them off the workers throw them away because they don't know what graves they came off of. You people are crazy.

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