Just Me

Nashville, TN

#43 Apr 10, 2011
If you can afford a mental healt counselor due to insurance not covering the sessions, book a session with your pastor. Just talking about it should do wonders!

If you do book a mental health counselor, just tell them your aren't interested in the medication route. You just want to talk through the problem and have them for support!
Just Me

Nashville, TN

#44 Apr 10, 2011
I meant can't afford...
Just Me

Nashville, TN

#47 Apr 10, 2011
Sorry for all the typos! I hate typing on the iPhone!
bob

Johnson City, TN

#48 Apr 10, 2011
Hope and change wrote:
Since our society considers suicide an unacceptable behavior, we do not allow any provisions for anyone wanting to end their own life. Even people with tumors rotting out their insides cannot do it, we'll subject them to even more intensive chemo even if they don't want it just because we don't want to let granny go.
The truth is, people are going to kill themselves. But because we won't let them, instead of people being able to end their lives in a dignified manner, you instead wind up with people keeping it all a secret and then it is some huge surprise when they go jump off buildings, park on railroad tracks, shoot themselves in the head, etc..
Now consider a person dying of a heart attack: they start coughing, get red in the face, they fall down, they stop breathing, and now for all intents and purposes they are peacefully asleep. Obviously, that would be an easier pill to swallow compared to having to deal with blood and guts all over the wall and floor.
So that's why people refer to suicide as selfish. We don't want uncle bob to kill himself, he did it anyway, and now we are left with a tremendous mental burden of some awkward ending. How selfish of uncle bob.
Our society does not let go of people. We just don't. And even though we cannot see through that other person's eyes, we cannot understand their problems from their point of view, and we certainly cannot feel their pain, we refuse to let them go because we can't deal with losing them.
I'm not here to say suicide is good or bad, make up your own mind to suit your own life since its your choice. But I will say that it serves no purpose to try and rationalize a sad situation by passing judgment on someone.
I really like this response. It hits on many points most people refuse to look at.

Something that might ease the pain of a person who survives a loved one's suicide is being proactive. For example, share your greif with people. If people truly realized what suicide does to those left behind, maybe they would choose to live.

Share your story, the warning signs, this experience could potentially save somebody else's life.

I know you cant rationalize or comprehend his death, you cant reason this out no matter how you try. But what you CAN do is give this tragedy a purpose, a meaning.

If just one person lives because your stepfather died, then he will not have died in vain.

Please consider that this broken road may lead you to be of service to those in desperate need of help. Your step father, with his final act on earth, has taught you how to save a life. It is a remarkable gift. Please accept it.
Artist In Grieving

Oviedo, FL

#49 Apr 30, 2011
I am now a single mother of a 4 year old beautiful girl... December 11, 2006 at 9:45 pm, a month and three weeks after our daughter was born my husband hung himself in a closet. My daughter was laying in her crib as I walked in ready to hand him dinner. His face was flaccid, eyes yellowed and open wide. Life was torn away from a young man that night. I lay my head to sleep and watch flashes of his lifeless body, my daughters piercing scream as my eyes laid upon his body. Never would I ever forget that still night, I was 18 years old. He took his life in panic as most do this is not selfish. I have since spoke with many trouble adolescents regarding depression, Dissociative identity disorder and anxiety. This has helped me cope. I do not pray to any god or spirits for guidance. Not because I am bitter but I realize that my life is in my hands. Truthfully if someone is going to take their life then there is nothing to prevent such an unfortunate event. Finding an outlet for trouble thoughts memories or even feelings has helped me throughout the years. My daughter has kept me moving, painting and enjoying life. I have contemplated suicide seriously, I have attempted twice since his death with no success obviously. This is just one woman's story there are many more out there. I learned to empower myself; writing, reading, painting and making music has saved my life. Faith may help others but in the end it comes down to human nature and perseverance. - Love and peace for all that seek it.
Dealing with same

Gray Court, SC

#50 Jul 24, 2011
Seriously wrote:
I saw a person very close to me shoot their self and they passed. It happed 5 years ago and im still having problems dealing with it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I recently had the same thing happen to me in September 2009. I know what your going through and would like to talk to someone that knows the feeling. I have tried the mental health bullshit and thats exactly what it is "bullshit." I am not to far from Greeneville, TN. I actually live in Greenville, SC, so if you read this please reply. Please do not let the memory of what happened keep you from talking about it. I feel it would be more helpful to talk with someone that knows how it feels to go through an experience like this.
High Way

Québec, Canada

#51 Mar 19, 2013
I discovered my mother's body, about a month ago, and it really wrecked my life. I don't understand. She had so much love and support but it was not enough. Now that she is gone, I live with the horrible side effects of the suicide. I barely got over after 12 years, of my brother's suicide 15 years ago, which my mother discovered. For now, life has become tasteless. I consult professionals but they cannot understand the dept of my pain. They simply say, "do this, do that" and expect me to feel better and heal after the exercices. What I really need mostly is to be heard and given words of hope and spiritual healing. I cannot get any of that. I feel that I am left very much on my own suffering.

“See you in the funny papers...”

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#52 Mar 19, 2013
High Way wrote:
I discovered my mother's body, about a month ago, and it really wrecked my life. I don't understand. She had so much love and support but it was not enough. Now that she is gone, I live with the horrible side effects of the suicide. I barely got over after 12 years, of my brother's suicide 15 years ago, which my mother discovered. For now, life has become tasteless. I consult professionals but they cannot understand the dept of my pain. They simply say, "do this, do that" and expect me to feel better and heal after the exercices. What I really need mostly is to be heard and given words of hope and spiritual healing. I cannot get any of that. I feel that I am left very much on my own suffering.
Instead of seeking therapy in the forma of a therapist, have any of you who have experienced these tragedies considered finding/starting a group in your area for folks to meet & discuss their experiences or even an online blog??? Maybe that would help??? I wish you all the best & hope you are able to find peace...

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#53 Mar 19, 2013
High Way wrote:
I discovered my mother's body, about a month ago, and it really wrecked my life. I don't understand. She had so much love and support but it was not enough. Now that she is gone, I live with the horrible side effects of the suicide. I barely got over after 12 years, of my brother's suicide 15 years ago, which my mother discovered. For now, life has become tasteless. I consult professionals but they cannot understand the dept of my pain. They simply say, "do this, do that" and expect me to feel better and heal after the exercices. What I really need mostly is to be heard and given words of hope and spiritual healing. I cannot get any of that. I feel that I am left very much on my own suffering.
I don't wish to go into details but I can say time is the only thing that heals but medication helps...
I was there

Jonesborough, TN

#54 Mar 19, 2013
I just want to say I love you.

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#55 Mar 19, 2013
Find a place that speaks to you. Travel might be in order to find it. The mountains worked for me,not looking at them but actually going in alone,finding a spot or place that had a feeling. I can't explain what was next,but it released me,drew my pain out,gave me peace. Time heals IF you will let it.
willing to help

Johnson City, TN

#56 Mar 19, 2013
As a therapist (Masters of Social Work) with special training in suicide and trauma grief, I would be willing to work with you individually, pro bono (no charge). Are you interested?( I myself actually had a patient shoot himself in front me during a session. I could be of great help. Please respond if interested. This is something in life that needs therapy and is extremely unhealthy to not do so.
willing to help

Johnson City, TN

#57 Mar 19, 2013
Being a masters level therapist, I am also willing to help many of you who have posted similar stories with no charge. I can create an email address and communicate through that and show my Credentials when the time is appropriate. Please respond if interested. I have taken many seminars and courses in suicide grief and have experienced it myself. I'm willing to help each of you pro bono. Yes, the salary of being a therapist is nice, but I chose his occupation to help those who needed it the most.
Gotta Mann

Greeneville, TN

#58 Mar 20, 2013
Talk to "the angry guy then"!!! He keeps talkin sh!t bout killin hiself but hes to gd CHICKEN to do it!!!

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#59 Mar 20, 2013
I was there wrote:
I just want to say I love you.
I love you, too!!
update

Santa Barbara, CA

#60 Mar 21, 2013
i posted this thread about a year and a half ago. Through this time I never saw saw mental health or anything like that. I want to thank everyone who had kind words. I am curently working ems which I love. I will never forget that day but I have moved on
update

Santa Barbara, CA

#61 Mar 21, 2013
To the ones who are still strugling with your loss I hope this inspires you to move forward. I live for my son now. I think about it from time to time but try to have a positive outlook. Thank you so much again for the words of wisdom everyone.
Mary

Wasco, OR

#62 Jan 5, 2014
My son was in extreme physical & emotional pain since he was 2 years old. He was 26 years old & I did everything I could to introduce life & love to him & so many people loved him so dearly, but he was in horrific pain & he shot himself in his head in front of me 16 months ago...he was drinking to mask his pain & his doctor knew that & he was taking Valium & just started cymbalta...
Ever seen the cymbalta commercials? If a person has thoughts of suicide they should call their doctor!????
My whole world fell as my beautiful son fell to the floor & looked into my eyes as he lay dead in my arms.
I feel so sad & lost & we were best friends.
If he had been killed in an accident people would have been nice to me, but the stigma of suicide has alienated me & caused complete isolation for my emotions...
I pray all the time that God will take that horrible movie out of my head & take me to heaven too...
There is no greater love than a mothers & 2 days before my son died he wrote in my birthday card, "No one could dream of a mother more wonderful than you! Happy Birthday Mom! I love you with all of my heart!"
I'm so sorry for anyone who knows the pain of witnessing someone kill themselves... It's so scary & sad &
Mary

Wasco, OR

#63 Jan 5, 2014
willing to help wrote:
As a therapist (Masters of Social Work) with special training in suicide and trauma grief, I would be willing to work with you individually, pro bono (no charge). Are you interested?( I myself actually had a patient shoot himself in front me during a session. I could be of great help. Please respond if interested. This is something in life that needs therapy and is extremely unhealthy to not do so.
Hello, I read your reply to the sweet girl who lost her mother & brother. I wondered if I could talk with you, please. I am so sorry you had a patient take their life in front of you! I am very alone & people count on me to be strong for them... Big Hugs, Mary

“See you in the funny papers...”

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#64 Jan 5, 2014
Mary wrote:
My son was in extreme physical & emotional pain since he was 2 years old. He was 26 years old & I did everything I could to introduce life & love to him & so many people loved him so dearly, but he was in horrific pain & he shot himself in his head in front of me 16 months ago...he was drinking to mask his pain & his doctor knew that & he was taking Valium & just started cymbalta...
Ever seen the cymbalta commercials? If a person has thoughts of suicide they should call their doctor!????
My whole world fell as my beautiful son fell to the floor & looked into my eyes as he lay dead in my arms.
I feel so sad & lost & we were best friends.
If he had been killed in an accident people would have been nice to me, but the stigma of suicide has alienated me & caused complete isolation for my emotions...
I pray all the time that God will take that horrible movie out of my head & take me to heaven too...
There is no greater love than a mothers & 2 days before my son died he wrote in my birthday card, "No one could dream of a mother more wonderful than you! Happy Birthday Mom! I love you with all of my heart!"
I'm so sorry for anyone who knows the pain of witnessing someone kill themselves... It's so scary & sad &
Though I am at a bit of a loss for words after reading your post, I just want to offer my condolences...I can't imagine witnessing anything worse than what you did. I am also sorry that you are feeling so alone...this is certainly a time when your family/friends/loved ones should be embracing & supporting you...I hope you are eventually able to find some solace...

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