How do I deal with witnessing a suicide?
sad

United States

#21 Oct 23, 2010
My mom committed suicide in September of 2008. It was one of the worse things i've ever had to go through and even though i didn't witness it i still have nightmares of being there. still to this day i don't know if i will ever recover from it. one thing i learned from what has happend is how i can take whats happend to me and let others know that there is always someone there willing to talk to you and help you when you are feeling down and that you just don't want to be around anymore. and even when you think nobody cares, there is always someone in this world that loves you and cares for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
ChurchGuy

Austell, GA

#22 Oct 23, 2010
Oh don t be sad... hopefully you have a wife or husband that will go to church with you tomorrow so you can praise Jesus for the wonderful Mother he gave you. So sad to hear this still bothers you. I know you will always blame yourself but its not your fault. Turn that frown into a smile.
sad wrote:
My mom committed suicide in September of 2008. It was one of the worse things i've ever had to go through and even though i didn't witness it i still have nightmares of being there. still to this day i don't know if i will ever recover from it. one thing i learned from what has happend is how i can take whats happend to me and let others know that there is always someone there willing to talk to you and help you when you are feeling down and that you just don't want to be around anymore. and even when you think nobody cares, there is always someone in this world that loves you and cares for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
ChurchGuy

Austell, GA

#23 Oct 23, 2010
Two thumbs up for your words of encouragement. They are so encouraging that I had to reply to your thoughtful post and you are right there are people that love them and are here to help. That's the great thing about Topix... we re all here 2 help each other in hard times. Bless YOU ALL.
Help is out there wrote:
There are many churches out there, of all denominations and faiths, that can help you with counseling. Depending on your finances, Frontier Mental Health might be able to help you. If you have insurance definitely check with your insurance provider to see who their listed providers are that can help with mental health counseling.
Post again if you do not have insurance and cannot find someone to help you from the suggestions above. I will be glad to research contacts and get you the help you need and deserve! Keep your chin up and remember that this was not your fault. Your loved one needed help and you got caught up in their unfortunate choice of dealing with their problem. It will be ok. Hang in there and know there are people who want to help you!:)
Praying for You

United States

#24 Oct 23, 2010
Seriously wrote:
<quoted text> Sometimes i have some crazy nightmares also. I have did research and 30% of people that see a suicide commit suicide their self. 70% think about it. Im one who has thought about it but has come to realize that i know what it feels like so why would i put my family through that. I have so much resentment towards him for doing that in front of me. I loved him so much and he did that in front of my face. It keeps replaying in my head every day of my life. I used to turn to drugs for the answer and figured out it just made it worse. I have been clean for 2 years now. I am so glad for people like y'all. thanks for giving me advice. I just feel like i'm going crazy.


Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I hope you get the relief you need. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Just trust that you are not the only one and there is help. Speak to God on a regular basis. He really is the only one that has the right answers for you. Trust in the Lord cause he has put faith in you!! HUGS and GODBLESS
layed back

Waterloo, Canada

#25 Oct 23, 2010
Sometimes there is no other way people get cancer they don't want to be a burden to anyone or they can't cope with their feelings its so badwhen you feel that is your only option I pray everyone stays strong just when you think it can't get worse there will be something good that will make you smile and that will help you along the way
VinnysGiG

Austell, GA

#26 Oct 23, 2010
Hey guys seriously don t do anything crazy like kill yourself and crying 4 help. Life not so bad.
hellyea

Fort Campbell, TN

#27 Oct 23, 2010
Its best to keep it out in front of you and talk about it to anyone rather than keep it bottled up. Wow I feel for you..very sorry. I could not imagine goin thru it. Much luck to you.
Seriously

Fort Campbell, TN

#28 Oct 30, 2010
layed back wrote:
Sometimes there is no other way people get cancer they don't want to be a burden to anyone or they can't cope with their feelings its so badwhen you feel that is your only option I pray everyone stays strong just when you think it can't get worse there will be something good that will make you smile and that will help you along the way
you are so stupid you have never had that happen to you. it would be mre devistating to have a loved one die from suicide than if someone died of cancer.
Who is to say

United States

#29 Oct 30, 2010
Seriously wrote:
<quoted text>you are so stupid you have never had that happen to you. it would be mre devistating to have a loved one die from suicide than if someone died of cancer.
I think you should not call people stupid when they are trying to offer advice and comfort. Dying is dying...quickly by gunshot or a slow painful death from cancer- who can say which is worse for the victim or their loved ones? It is devastating for all involved. Try to tolerate other peoples' opinion without a harsh reply. I think everyone who has responded to your post has tried to be compassionate and helpful. Peace be to you.
Seriously

Fort Campbell, TN

#30 Oct 31, 2010
Who is to say wrote:
<quoted text>
I think you should not call people stupid when they are trying to offer advice and comfort. Dying is dying...quickly by gunshot or a slow painful death from cancer- who can say which is worse for the victim or their loved ones? It is devastating for all involved. Try to tolerate other peoples' opinion without a harsh reply. I think everyone who has responded to your post has tried to be compassionate and helpful. Peace be to you.
everybody but that person made sense. that was a remark that really pissed me off. i have an opinion myself. that doesn't help me one bit when someone says it would be better to commit suicide than die of cancer. the reason i said that is because it affects a family totally different when a loved one commits suicide. there is nothing you can do for cancer but suicide is a choice. its bs that they would say that. you have no idea. i think about ending life myself but i dont. all because of suicide. ive had loved ones die from cancer. its very hard also. im sorry its a very touchy subject for me. i should have went at it different but im gonna state how i feel.
haha

Kinston, NC

#31 Nov 2, 2010
if yous a scared mother mother go to church! no seriously go to church, only place you will have any help.
ha ha

Johnson City, TN

#32 Nov 2, 2010
kill your self you can go to hell with your friend
been thru 2 suicides

Elizabethtown, KY

#33 Nov 28, 2010
ha ha wrote:
kill your self you can go to hell with your friend
you are one heartless bit*ch. you must be young and dumb and know nothing about life yet.. or just plain stupid/ my brother in law shot himself earlier this year and he loved his family life just got too hard 4 him to bear. I got there right after it happened and its tragic and horrible. I drove like a madwoman 2 get 2 his house I thought I could save him , as I had before but that time no one could. I know the hurt the guilt and the pain of suicide. It turns a family upside down. and 4 u that have never had 2 deal with it just keep ur mouths shut.There is help out there seek it and it is not true that people who holler "im gonna kill myself" all the time wont do it, not true. They will its their cry 4 help.Dont ignore it. My heart goes out to you as my family is still trying to cope.
Thinking positive

Lewiston, ID

#34 Dec 8, 2010
As an EMS provider I have witnessed suicides. It is heartless and such s tragic thing to go through. I hope you have a large support.group. I am going through the same thing you are now. I do pray and it helps along with a large support group and FAMILY! Suicide is not the anwser, it is so true that it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I realize you do not find this to be a selfish act but it is. Even though they are not thinking clearly, they still are thinking of only themselves and not there. Friends and family that love them. I hope you are finding peace and help with your tragic experiences. My prayers go out to you
Anonymous

Washington, DC

#35 Apr 9, 2011
On March 28- a few weeks ago- I walked in the kitchen to find that my stepfather had shot himself in the head and left a suicide note for me. The image of him in his chair is surreal- he looked like he was asleep, I just couldn't get it when I walked in. I haven't been able to actually absorb the impact of what has happened yet. Last night I decided that I would try to enter the house by myself. All I could do is make it up the driveway and look at the door. I just couldn't do it. I can't go into the house by myself or be there by myself. I have actually been sleeping in my car because I am terrified. I relive it in my mind all the time and I can't believe it. I am actually afraid that I am in shock and in a few months I will realize what has happened and relive it.
gotta friend

United States

#36 Apr 9, 2011
aliciadec wrote:
On March 28- a few weeks ago- I walked in the kitchen to find that my stepfather had shot himself in the head and left a suicide note for me. The image of him in his chair is surreal- he looked like he was asleep, I just couldn't get it when I walked in. I haven't been able to actually absorb the impact of what has happened yet. Last night I decided that I would try to enter the house by myself. All I could do is make it up the driveway and look at the door. I just couldn't do it. I can't go into the house by myself or be there by myself. I have actually been sleeping in my car because I am terrified. I relive it in my mind all the time and I can't believe it. I am actually afraid that I am in shock and in a few months I will realize what has happened and relive it.
Wow! What a terrible ordeal for you! I am so very sorry that you had to experience that by yourself and continue to have to deal with it alone. Help is out there but you need to try to be strong and let someone close to you help you through it. Sometimes, people shy away because they don't know what to say or don't want to hound you. You've been through a lot. Its ok to ask for help and support from friends and family. If you don't have anyone like that to help you then please consider professional help. What about a neighbor? Best of luck to you....
Justice

United States

#37 Apr 9, 2011
greystone girl wrote:
Definitely seek out a counselor who can help you deal with this type of trauma. This is a horrible thing to witness and there is probably guilt and grief that can be processed. I know a good christian counselor in Morristown if that is they way you would want to go....wellspring on Main street. Peace
The counselors at wellsprings in Morristown are wonderful. They will not push any drugs on you. They do help you sort out what happened and all your feelings. Please consider it.
formerghosthunte r

Johnson City, TN

#38 Apr 9, 2011
aliciadec wrote:
On March 28- a few weeks ago- I walked in the kitchen to find that my stepfather had shot himself in the head and left a suicide note for me. The image of him in his chair is surreal- he looked like he was asleep, I just couldn't get it when I walked in. I haven't been able to actually absorb the impact of what has happened yet. Last night I decided that I would try to enter the house by myself. All I could do is make it up the driveway and look at the door. I just couldn't do it. I can't go into the house by myself or be there by myself. I have actually been sleeping in my car because I am terrified. I relive it in my mind all the time and I can't believe it. I am actually afraid that I am in shock and in a few months I will realize what has happened and relive it.
Damn......

The shock will remain for at least a year. This will probably be the most painful year of your life.

You already know this but, you will never be the same.

Im so sorry this is happening to you. I know your pain. I really do.

There is nothing anybody can say that will make you feel better. Time will ease it though.

Listen, your step father was in a great deal of pain. Peace is all he wanted. He probably thought enough of you to presume you would understand. Maybe the two of you shared a certain sadness.

We all have to die. He needed to choose when and where. You know in your heart of hearts that he was tired, that he is better off, and that he isnt hurting anymore.

The problem with suicide is that is leaves people in a state such as yours. It hurts so very bad to know that person could have chosen to live, yet did not.

People might tell you he was weak, or sick, or selfish... Dont listen to them.

People dont kill themselves because they hate themselves, its quite the opposite. They do it because they hurt.

When you experience this greif, know that he too lived everyday feeling much the same way you do now. I know you wouldnt wish these feelings on anyone. Perhaps you will find comfort in knowing his pain is no more.

While unfair to you, understand that for him there was no other way. This is what he wanted.

God Bless you. Again, I am so sorry this is happening to you.
online predator

AOL

#39 Apr 9, 2011
a few years back my brother n law shot himself in the head with a 38 special. it was on me & my wife's anniversary (valentines day). his wife & daughters found him that morning, i never seen him, but i cleaned up the mess. luckily (for the clean up), he shot himself in his garage, when they removed his body one of the cops threw down some oil soak (it absorbs motor oil) on all of the blood. it was a lot of blood. when you shot yourself in the head, your heart keeps beating, emptying your body of dang near all of it's blood. it took about four hours cleaning it up, & about an hour of that was with a water hose. it was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. i did it so his family wouldn't have to. you would think the cops would have a service for that but they don't. it took me about four or five months before i got a decent nights sleep. every time i closed my eyes all i could think of was all that blood. i just wished he would have called me before he did it, maybe i could have helped him. It messed with me bad. I don't see how you have managed as good as you have. hang in there is all I can tell any of you.
OldEnoughToKnowB etter

Fort Campbell, TN

#40 Apr 9, 2011
formerghosthunter wrote:
<quoted text>
Damn......
The shock will remain for at least a year. This will probably be the most painful year of your life.
You already know this but, you will never be the same.
Im so sorry this is happening to you. I know your pain. I really do.
There is nothing anybody can say that will make you feel better. Time will ease it though.
Listen, your step father was in a great deal of pain. Peace is all he wanted. He probably thought enough of you to presume you would understand. Maybe the two of you shared a certain sadness.
We all have to die. He needed to choose when and where. You know in your heart of hearts that he was tired, that he is better off, and that he isnt hurting anymore.
The problem with suicide is that is leaves people in a state such as yours. It hurts so very bad to know that person could have chosen to live, yet did not.
People might tell you he was weak, or sick, or selfish... Dont listen to them.
People dont kill themselves because they hate themselves, its quite the opposite. They do it because they hurt.
When you experience this greif, know that he too lived everyday feeling much the same way you do now. I know you wouldnt wish these feelings on anyone. Perhaps you will find comfort in knowing his pain is no more.
While unfair to you, understand that for him there was no other way. This is what he wanted.
God Bless you. Again, I am so sorry this is happening to you.


Brilliant reply. Suicide is not selfish nor is it cowardice. Suicide in fact is often the acting out of an unselfish motivation to protect others from the daily dealing with a depressed or terminally ill person. So many times the last thoughts of a suicidal person are "they will be better off without me". Though hard to accept, the person really has what they think are the best interests of others in mind.

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