wondering what you think about step p...

wondering what you think about step parents being mean to the kids?

Posted in the Grayson Forum

jack and jill

Whitney, TX

#1 Sep 24, 2009
not all step parents are mean .some are better than your real parents and u would do anything for them .others are out for there self and grudge the children having anything.
Get A Clue

Greenup, KY

#2 Sep 24, 2009
Step parents are not supposed to care the same for step children as their own. It is just the way it is. Hope this helps.
step parent

Washington Court House, OH

#3 Sep 27, 2009
Get A Clue wrote:
Step parents are not supposed to care the same for step children as their own. It is just the way it is. Hope this helps.
I am a step parent myself & I have always treated my step children the same as I have my birth children. I feel if you love the person you are with & take on the responsibility of being their spouse you also take on the responsibilty of being a parent. Just because the children are not yours by birth they are yours by marriage and you should not treat them any different then what you would if you had given birth to them. I do not think of my spouses children as step children and I do not let anyone else in my family treat them that way. They are my children & nothing will make that any different in my eyes or my childrens eyes. Even my "step children" feel the same way. Most of the people my family meets does not even know that two of the four children are not mine by birth. I do not make them call me mom they choose to, I do not treat them as "step" but as my own that is the way it is suppose to be. The paople that treats their spouses children different then if they were there own isn't a good parent in my opinion they are out to cause trouble for those children.
hillbillymom

Whitney, TX

#4 Sep 27, 2009
step parent wrote:
<quoted text>
I am a step parent myself & I have always treated my step children the same as I have my birth children. I feel if you love the person you are with & take on the responsibility of being their spouse you also take on the responsibilty of being a parent. Just because the children are not yours by birth they are yours by marriage and you should not treat them any different then what you would if you had given birth to them. I do not think of my spouses children as step children and I do not let anyone else in my family treat them that way. They are my children & nothing will make that any different in my eyes or my childrens eyes. Even my "step children" feel the same way. Most of the people my family meets does not even know that two of the four children are not mine by birth. I do not make them call me mom they choose to, I do not treat them as "step" but as my own that is the way it is suppose to be. The paople that treats their spouses children different then if they were there own isn't a good parent in my opinion they are out to cause trouble for those children.
you right about that
well well

Whitney, TX

#5 Sep 28, 2009
what do u think about a step mother that throws a damm fit if the dad buys his kids 2 kids a damm milky way candy bar.he only has them ever other weekend.he had to slip and buy them and the woman found out and throwed a damm fit.its not like they are poor he has a good paying job,man 2 milky way candy bars is this a good step mom?
Step Up

Ashland, KY

#6 Sep 28, 2009
One of my ex-boyfriends and his 2 kids are in a similar situation. My ex's new wife doesn't want his kids around, won't let him buy them anything, and makes them stay in the basement when at their house (even at dinner time). This is just wrong. I am totally shocked that he would put up with this. While I was with him, we had his kids almost all the time and I treated them like they were my own. It breaks my heart that this woman has ruined their relationship with their dad and that they are having to go through this. His kids were always his whole world. I feel like the real parents should step up and not tolerate this. Why would you stay married to someone who would treat your kids that way and want you to treat them that way? Why would you let someone convince you to treat your kids that way? It is your responsibility as the real parent to do right by your kids and this includes marrying someone who will do right by them as well. The parents who tolerate this from their new spouses and who also start treating their kids this way ought to be ashamed of themselves and do not deserve their children.
step parent

Grayling, MI

#7 Sep 28, 2009
well well wrote:
what do u think about a step mother that throws a damm fit if the dad buys his kids 2 kids a damm milky way candy bar.he only has them ever other weekend.he had to slip and buy them and the woman found out and throwed a damm fit.its not like they are poor he has a good paying job,man 2 milky way candy bars is this a good step mom?
I think if a step parent weither it be the mother or the father acts that way to their or the way "step up" describes is not worthy of being a parent nor a spouse. Those people have not grown up to take on the true responsibilities of parenthood. Live doesn't revolve around them any longer but around the children. I know if it was me I wouldn't let any man nor women treat my children that way. As for the fathers allowing this to go on they need their a** kicked. Their children should be their first priority.
Jerri Clevenger Rubio

Crosby, TX

#8 Sep 28, 2009
well well wrote:
what do u think about a step mother that throws a damm fit if the dad buys his kids 2 kids a damm milky way candy bar.he only has them ever other weekend.he had to slip and buy them and the woman found out and throwed a damm fit.its not like they are poor he has a good paying job,man 2 milky way candy bars is this a good step mom?
That is ridiculous! What kind of woman would begrudge a child candy? You need to find someone who is kind and caring. That woman has some insecurty issues, and is obviously immature.
tina

Campbellsville, KY

#9 Sep 28, 2009
WELL WEll, i don,t know who this person is but i sure as hell wouldn,t deny my children a candy bar just because she threw a fit , i would be the one throwing the fit and throwing her OUT.my children are my world.and NOBODY would not tell me i couldn,t give my kids candy.she is a very selfish .
well well

Whitney, TX

#10 Sep 28, 2009
Jerri Clevenger Rubio wrote:
<quoted text>That is ridiculous! What kind of woman would begrudge a child candy? You need to find someone who is kind and caring. That woman has some insecurty issues, and is obviously immature.
yes she has kids of her own who are almost grown and 2 step children a 9 year old boy and a 12 year old girl.she is a physco.and a man chaser hates her step children.and there dad is in a worser shape than she is for allowing it.i cant wait till it bites her on the ass and him 2.
Controlling Mother

Greenup, KY

#11 Oct 6, 2009
If marriage were not taken so lightly and divorce weren't so common we would not have as many broken homes and step-parents now would we Grayson?
Used and abused

Richmond, KY

#12 Oct 6, 2009
I was abused by my stepfather when I was a kid, mentally and physically and thrown out when I was sixteen. Why? I'm not so sure, I've never been into drugs or alcohol and I was to afraid to do anything. He bought my brothers anything they wanted and wouldn't even buy me clothes. I've made it only with the help of my grandparents. My mother was powerless and taking it too, he would hit her and yell all the time and call her things that would make the hairs on your neck stand. He spent our bill and food money on drugs and alcohol, on my 15th birthday the power was turned off. I know that I'm not alone and that men aren't the only culprits, these kinds of parents aren't fit to wipe the bottom of my shoe and shouldn't be allowed to have children theirs or not. My mother is now divorced and happily remarried, and this guy is awesome, so it's not every step-parent, only a select amount that are disgusting.
terrible

Flatwoods, KY

#13 Oct 8, 2009
I am a married woman with a wonderful husband ,he is not my children's dad, he had children by another woman ,so I am a step mother, I have always been very good to my stepchildren I try to treat them like I would have liked to been treated, because I WAS a step daughter , my dad passed away and she has done everything to us..she and her children has got everything that dad had worked for, she wouldn't know the truth if it hit her in her in the face, the most wicked person I have ever known, I would never be a step mother like her.
Kentuckian

Port Deposit, MD

#14 Oct 8, 2009
step parent wrote:
<quoted text>
I am a step parent myself & I have always treated my step children the same as I have my birth children. I feel if you love the person you are with & take on the responsibility of being their spouse you also take on the responsibilty of being a parent. Just because the children are not yours by birth they are yours by marriage and you should not treat them any different then what you would if you had given birth to them. I do not think of my spouses children as step children and I do not let anyone else in my family treat them that way. They are my children & nothing will make that any different in my eyes or my childrens eyes. Even my "step children" feel the same way. Most of the people my family meets does not even know that two of the four children are not mine by birth. I do not make them call me mom they choose to, I do not treat them as "step" but as my own that is the way it is suppose to be. The paople that treats their spouses children different then if they were there own isn't a good parent in my opinion they are out to cause trouble for those children.
I told my husband before we married that my son and I were a "package deal" meaning if he loved me he loved my son. His answer to me was that he wouldn't want me if I did not expect him to take on the responsibility of my son. He has been wonderful to my son. My son loves him very much an will tell you when he really needs something he comes to my husband because he knows he will help with whatever he needs without a lot of questions. My husband was treated badly by his step-father and has always said my son would never be able to say anything bad about him. God blessed me with this man.
friend

United States

#15 Oct 13, 2009
Kentuckian wrote:
<quoted text>I told my husband before we married that my son and I were a "package deal" meaning if he loved me he loved my son. His answer to me was that he wouldn't want me if I did not expect him to take on the responsibility of my son. He has been wonderful to my son. My son loves him very much an will tell you when he really needs something he comes to my husband because he knows he will help with whatever he needs without a lot of questions. My husband was treated badly by his step-father and has always said my son would never be able to say anything bad about him. God blessed me with this man.
You have a good man not many men nor women would take on that resposibility. I can honestly say my step son turns to me before his father or mother because he thinks of me as a friend not a parent but he nows when friendship ends and parenthood begins when it come to our relationship. He has even told my husband that. Over the weekend I made a comment to him about the way he was acting and even commented on what I thought he would say or do about the subject. He turned to his dad and said,"Its bad when your mom (he caues me mom not step mom) knows me better then my real mom." I kind got the big head. I am proud of all my children and thank God he pleased me with two birth children and two wonderful "step" children I wouldn't have it anyother way.
caroligrl88

Dillon, SC

#16 Oct 14, 2009
well well wrote:
what do u think about a step mother that throws a damm fit if the dad buys his kids 2 kids a damm milky way candy bar.he only has them ever other weekend.he had to slip and buy them and the woman found out and throwed a damm fit.its not like they are poor he has a good paying job,man 2 milky way candy bars is this a good step mom?
I think how stupid this woman is. The man is just as bad if he allows her to treat him and the children this way. Sounds to me like she is a "controlling freak."
Jenny

Richmond, VA

#17 Oct 14, 2009
Steven is the step-father to my son who just recently moved with me. Plans were to get him off the reservation and into the real world. Steven help him get a job, which required him to travel 18 miles one way, well the problem is our car, over-heats, belt always falling off not very dependable for driving the distance. When we talk about getting a different car, steven hollers that we dont need one, when he could drive what we have. My point is that we come from the country and city life is alot different then county. The only family I have here is my son and steven. I hated for my son to break down on the freeway and I have no way to go and get him because we have no other car. Well my son's boss who I will say is a christian, helped out my son by letting him purchase a car from him with nothing down and monthly payments. Now this upset my husband he started to want money from my son, who just started his job. He makes 1000.00 clear after taxes, 500.00 of that goes to the car, which he wants to pay off right away. That's when the problem started, steven drinks every day he calls it working functional alcoholic, I swear he got jealous because my son did something on his own. The first thing he said to me was I was not allow to give my son anything. He wants him to be responsible and needs to learn to do things on his own. I don't know if I am being over-protective but I will not allow my husband to tear me apart from being a mother to my son. Am I wrong to feel this way.
Jerri Clevenger Rubio

Crosby, TX

#18 Oct 14, 2009
Jenny wrote:
Steven is the step-father to my son who just recently moved with me. Plans were to get him off the reservation and into the real world. Steven help him get a job, which required him to travel 18 miles one way, well the problem is our car, over-heats, belt always falling off not very dependable for driving the distance. When we talk about getting a different car, steven hollers that we dont need one, when he could drive what we have. My point is that we come from the country and city life is alot different then county. The only family I have here is my son and steven. I hated for my son to break down on the freeway and I have no way to go and get him because we have no other car. Well my son's boss who I will say is a christian, helped out my son by letting him purchase a car from him with nothing down and monthly payments. Now this upset my husband he started to want money from my son, who just started his job. He makes 1000.00 clear after taxes, 500.00 of that goes to the car, which he wants to pay off right away. That's when the problem started, steven drinks every day he calls it working functional alcoholic, I swear he got jealous because my son did something on his own. The first thing he said to me was I was not allow to give my son anything. He wants him to be responsible and needs to learn to do things on his own. I don't know if I am being over-protective but I will not allow my husband to tear me apart from being a mother to my son. Am I wrong to feel this way.
No you are not wrong to feel that way! You are doing what a mother is suppose to do, putting your child first! I made a decision when I divorced my children's dad, I would never put anyone before them. They are my priority! I think your husband is jealous and insecure. This situation is about control. You do what you feel is right. This man may not be a part of your life in the future, but your son will be. Good luck alcoholism is a difficult thing to deal with. My ex husband was a functioning alcoholic. I regret the years I spent trying to fix him.
friend

Columbus, OH

#19 Oct 14, 2009
Jenny wrote:
Steven is the step-father to my son who just recently moved with me. Plans were to get him off the reservation and into the real world. Steven help him get a job, which required him to travel 18 miles one way, well the problem is our car, over-heats, belt always falling off not very dependable for driving the distance. When we talk about getting a different car, steven hollers that we dont need one, when he could drive what we have. My point is that we come from the country and city life is alot different then county. The only family I have here is my son and steven. I hated for my son to break down on the freeway and I have no way to go and get him because we have no other car. Well my son's boss who I will say is a christian, helped out my son by letting him purchase a car from him with nothing down and monthly payments. Now this upset my husband he started to want money from my son, who just started his job. He makes 1000.00 clear after taxes, 500.00 of that goes to the car, which he wants to pay off right away. That's when the problem started, steven drinks every day he calls it working functional alcoholic, I swear he got jealous because my son did something on his own. The first thing he said to me was I was not allow to give my son anything. He wants him to be responsible and needs to learn to do things on his own. I don't know if I am being over-protective but I will not allow my husband to tear me apart from being a mother to my son. Am I wrong to feel this way.
No you are not wrong for not letting your husband tear you apart form your son; however, your son needs to relize being an adult means taking on some responsibility. So to keep it short you should be a mother but you should also make sure your son is being an adult.

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