WZZM13 WATER COOLER - Dutch man suffers cut buttocks in joke mi...

[Hurley35]

welcome to GR wrote:

<quoted text>
Me! Me! Me! I'm Dutch! Can't hide the fact that I am, might as well celebrate it.
My great-grandparents and my grandparents were off the boat.

LOL, so were mine! I use to love it when my grandpa would say the Lord's prayer. As he got older he started saying in Dutch again and didn't even realize he was doing it.

[Hurley35]

mama knows wrote:

<quoted text>
Me too! 100%!

As I always say, like Ivory soap 99 and 44/100's pure. See? Lots of Hollanders here.

[Hurley35]

Good Time I think to post this joke here. Enjoy!

A Dutchman walks into a bank in Toronto and asks for the loan
officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Holland on business for a month to borrow $10,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Dutchman hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
Dutchman for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $10,000
loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Dutchman returns, repays the $10,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are
very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that you are worth millions.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $10,000?".

The Dutchman replies: "Where else in Toronto can I park my car for
a month for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Ah, the mind of a Dutchman...

[Trouser Cough]

Hurley35 wrote:

<quoted text>As I always say, like Ivory soap 99 and 44/100's pure. See? Lots of Hollanders here.

Dutch? It's really not that bad of a disease, well OK, I've broken a few fingernails diving for pennies I've found in parking lots, but those grow back - you should see the huge amount of change I've accumulated throughout the years!

[mama knows]

Hurley35 wrote:

Good Time I think to post this joke here. Enjoy!
A Dutchman walks into a bank in Toronto and asks for the loan
officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Holland on business for a month to borrow $10,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Dutchman hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
Dutchman for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $10,000
loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Dutchman returns, repays the $10,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are
very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that you are worth millions.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $10,000?".
The Dutchman replies: "Where else in Toronto can I park my car for
a month for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Ah, the mind of a Dutchman...

I love it!!

[My4boys]

Hurley35 wrote:

Good Time I think to post this joke here. Enjoy!
A Dutchman walks into a bank in Toronto and asks for the loan
officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Holland on business for a month to borrow $10,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Dutchman hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
Dutchman for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $10,000
loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Dutchman returns, repays the $10,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are
very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that you are worth millions.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $10,000?".
The Dutchman replies: "Where else in Toronto can I park my car for
a month for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Ah, the mind of a Dutchman...

Sounds like my dad...lol. My brother and I always joked that we needed proof that would stand up in court that we needed new coats, shoes, etc. Being Dutch isn't so bad, though.

My Grandpa always said "If ya ain't Dutch, ya ain't much!"

[Uniontown mom]

Hurley35 wrote:

Good Time I think to post this joke here. Enjoy!
A Dutchman walks into a bank in Toronto and asks for the loan
officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Holland on business for a month to borrow $10,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Dutchman hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
Dutchman for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $10,000
loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Dutchman returns, repays the $10,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are
very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that you are worth millions.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $10,000?".
The Dutchman replies: "Where else in Toronto can I park my car for
a month for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Ah, the mind of a Dutchman...

LMAO!! That is a true Dutchman. My great grandparents came over in 1920.

[Hurley35]

Uniontown mom wrote:

<quoted text>LMAO!! That is a true Dutchman. My great grandparents came over in 1920.

Wow, I think that was the same year my great-grandparents and grandparents came over. If I remember correctly in 1921 the immigration laws were changed and immigration was severely limited.

[Gentle Taz]

welcome to GR wrote:

<quoted text>
Me! Me! Me! I'm Dutch! Can't hide the fact that I am, might as well celebrate it.
My great-grandparents and my grandparents were off the boat.

SS Nieuw Amsterdam, 1948. Port of entry New York City.

[mama knows]

My great-great-grandparents ended up in W. Mi. but it's been a pain trying to find them anywhere to trace before that. I looked over tons of censuses at the library and they weren't listed. Anyone know if the censuses were not carefully taken or anything like that? This would have been around 1900.

[Gentle Taz]

mama knows wrote:

My great-great-grandparents ended up in W. Mi. but it's been a pain trying to find them anywhere to trace before that. I looked over tons of censuses at the library and they weren't listed. Anyone know if the censuses were not carefully taken or anything like that? This would have been around 1900.

http://www.ellisisland.org/

You might be able to find them on the above site. Ellis Island apparently went into operation about 1892 and, IIRC, for quite some time, all immigrants entering on the east coast would have gone through Ellis Island.

[welcome to GR]

mama knows wrote:

My great-great-grandparents ended up in W. Mi. but it's been a pain trying to find them anywhere to trace before that. I looked over tons of censuses at the library and they weren't listed. Anyone know if the censuses were not carefully taken or anything like that? This would have been around 1900.

There is a Dutch newspaper that was (or still is) published in Holland (MI) it goes back many many years and I know the older issues have a listing of who came when, who married, died and was born.

I can't think of the name offhand, give me a week or so to find it. The older issues are online now, I just never bookmarked the site. It's in English now (at least online it is, I don't know if the hardcopies are) My grandpa used to be a subscriber before he passed away and his weren't in English.

[welcome to GR]

Mine came over in the late teens. My grandparents were from neighboring cities and when they came over they met on the boat.......at the tender age of 17 my grandma married my grandpa here.

We still think she was younger than that, even with her Dementia she still sticks to the age 17 story.

[mama knows]

THanks for the help guys!

[mama knows]

Gentle Taz wrote:

<quoted text>
http://www.ellisisland.org/
You might be able to find them on the above site. Ellis Island apparently went into operation about 1892 and, IIRC, for quite some time, all immigrants entering on the east coast would have gone through Ellis Island.

I've been checking this site out-thanks! I can see I'll be restarting my family geneology search!
I've already found some Huizengas

[SLEEPIN BEAR]

welcome to GR wrote:

<quoted text>
Okay, this is so going to bug me all day now....
I have the "where is the moon part", but how does the "rotting floor" fit in there? Please don't make me call my German language major sibling, please, I really don't want to talk to them today!
Or maybe I am just missing the joke altogether?

Slight error here. I have a 1943 U.S. Army Technical manual issued by the War Department as a German phase book. I misread a couple of phases. I attempted to relate to a rotten bottom but my German traning is limited to this book. rotten joke, eh?

[Uniontown mom]

GT thanks for that site as I have already found Hoeksemas and Ten Harmsels. I love looking up my genelogy.

[Miss Meow]

I'm surprised the Dutch don't injure themselves more trying to squeeze all those pennies between their cheeks.

[welcome to GR]

SLEEPIN BEAR wrote:

<quoted text>
Slight error here. I have a 1943 U.S. Army Technical manual issued by the War Department as a German phase book. I misread a couple of phases. I attempted to relate to a rotten bottom but my German traning is limited to this book. rotten joke, eh?

That's okay. If you iGoogle a phrase it will translate it for you.
I have to do that with my parents/grandparents sometimes.
The only Dutch my dad has mantained is the "naughty words". I like to know what he said when he thumps his thumb with the hammer!

[Gentle Taz]

Uniontown mom wrote:

GT thanks for that site as I have already found Hoeksemas and Ten Harmsels. I love looking up my genelogy.

You're welcome UT Mom. At least your people came over in the earlier days of Ellis Island. We came over in 1948 and I would have to pay to see the listings from then. It's also easier for you to get your own birth certificate than it was for me to get mine from Amsterdam.