OMG Lisa! You are so right!!! Thanks for sharing some personal stuff to back up the reality of it all.Okay, look people. Teenage girls get a real rush when an older guy shows interest in them and they are way too naive to believe that there is anything bad that could possibly happen to them. I know. I was 14 once, too. The guy says, "We won't do ANYTHING that you don't want to do. You're so pretty and sweet. I would never do anything to hurt you." Next thing the you know she's fantasizing about the two of them on a romantic cruise or walking down the aisle together while HE'S fantasizing about all of the disgusting perverted things he will do to her before he kills her and dumps her body in some remote swamp.
That's why ALL parents should tell their kids up front about all of the sick twisted people out there who will say anything to make kids trust them. The kids won't know any better unless WE AS PARENTS DO OUR JOBS and tell them about it. We can even show them- there's a website called "The Dead Kids of MySpace" that tells the story of every kid that hits the news that was a victim of an internet predator. It is our job to create internet savvy kids. We can't just expect them to know this stuff right out of the gate and we can't just bury our heads in the sand and hope it won't happen. To blame the girl in this story is just wrong.
Children live what they learn. I feel for the parents, I really do and I'm sure they are beating themselves up far worse than we can imagine. Hopefully they take this as a wake-up call and pay a little more attention to their child/children.
I just love it when parents tell there kids that they will never trust them again when it was more than likely the child stopped trusting them to get their basic human needs met.
I just can't imagine a child who feels loved, honored, protected and even respected would need to get those needs met somewhere else. As a parent, I think the hardest thing I had to do was talk to my son about puberty when he was 12. His dad was not around to do it and I was struggling to understand his physical and behavioral changes.
I could of took the easy way out and just asked a male relative to talk to him, but that would not have had the impact on our relatonship that was very strained at the time. Like you, I went back in time and remembered the way my parents handled those issues (basically, they didn't. The SHAME factor was too big) and I remembered the issues I brought into my adult life because of their ignorance.(I don't blame them, they were only living what they learned).
I needed to educate myself about the male body (I'm leaving myself wide open here, aren't I? LOL)
AND the information available and resources available to him if need be. The other hard thing was to let go of that SHAME factor that I was taught. This is no longer my fathers generation nor mine either and it requires change if we want to understand and be a positive force in this generation.
O.K. I'm going to get off my soap box now and go turn on Dr.Phil!
Thanks for listening and good mental health to you all.:-)