Anyone have any good jokes that won't...

Anyone have any good jokes that won't get deleted?

Posted in the Grand Rapids Forum

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Canadagirl

Since: Jul 08

Harrington PEI

#1 Dec 16, 2008
Let's not be to racist remember this is all in fun.

Canadagirl

Since: Jul 08

Harrington PEI

#3 Dec 16, 2008
Any takers?

“I Draw Pictures All Day”

Since: Nov 08

Location hidden

#5 Dec 16, 2008
Heres one wrote:
HINDU DOTS...
FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME...
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with m arriage or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington , D .C. Has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States . If nothing is there, he must take a job in India answering telephones giving technical advice.
Oh, that's not at all racist!:) Twelve Hail Mary's and 200 hundred push-ups for you!!
micky

Northbrook, IL

#6 Dec 16, 2008
Canadagirl wrote:
Any takers?
Did you hear that Victoria Secret and Smith and Wesson merged today?? The name of the new company is " Titti Titti/Bang Bang

Canadagirl

Since: Jul 08

Harrington PEI

#7 Dec 16, 2008
What do you call a hooker with braces? A Black and Decker pecker wreaker.

Canadagirl

Since: Jul 08

Harrington PEI

#8 Dec 16, 2008
That should have a black hooker

“Really? I mean, REAAALLLYY???”

Since: Nov 08

Ionia, MI

#9 Dec 16, 2008
Canadagirl wrote:
What do you call a hooker with braces? A Black and Decker pecker wreaker.
I forgot all about that one! Classic!

Union All The Way

“So what!!”

Since: Apr 08

Lakeview, Mi.

#10 Dec 16, 2008


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started ...

Union All The Way

“So what!!”

Since: Apr 08

Lakeview, Mi.

#11 Dec 16, 2008
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive ...

So, I took her to a gas station ...

And then the fight started ...

Union All The Way

“So what!!”

Since: Apr 08

Lakeview, Mi.

#12 Dec 16, 2008
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security . The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said,'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said,'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too.'

And then the fight started ...

“Have a nice day!”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

#13 Dec 16, 2008
A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender scowls at him and says, "Is that a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate scowls back and says "Arrr, it drives me nuts!"
tom

Greenville, MI

#14 Dec 16, 2008
Rosey Odonel's got more chins than
a chinese phonebook!

“Have a nice day!”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

#15 Dec 16, 2008
A bear and a squirrel are taking a poo in the woods. The bear looks down at the squirrel and says"Hey, little guy, do you ever have trouble with @#$# sticking to your fur?"
"Why, no, " said the little squirrel, looking up at the bear.
"Good", said the bear, and picked up the squirrel and wiped his @SS with it.

“Have a nice day!”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

#16 Dec 16, 2008
Seal walks into a club...
I know, I know, not funny.
tom

Greenville, MI

#17 Dec 16, 2008
Canadagirl wrote:
What do you call a hooker with braces? A Black and Decker pecker wreaker.
dumb.

“Have a nice day!”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

#18 Dec 16, 2008
Heres one wrote:
HINDU DOTS...
FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME...
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with m arriage or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington , D .C. Has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States . If nothing is there, he must take a job in India answering telephones giving technical advice.
LMAO!! Good one!
Bill Clinton

Ada, MI

#19 Dec 16, 2008
2 lesbian nuns walk into a bar.........
Seriously

Grand Haven, MI

#20 Dec 16, 2008
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, the trick is getting them in there. hardy hardy har.

“November 12th, 2011”

Since: Nov 07

up a tree

#21 Dec 16, 2008
Q-what's the difference between a pity and a shame?
A- A pity is when a busload of Muslim extremists falls over the edge of a cliff, a shame is that there were 3 empty seats.

Q- What do fat women and mopeds have in common?
A- They are both fun to ride, until a friend sees you on one.

Union All The Way

“So what!!”

Since: Apr 08

Lakeview, Mi.

#22 Dec 16, 2008
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,'Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed,'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up many years ago, and I hear she hasn't be en sober since.

''My God!' says my wife,'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

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