Out-of-wedlock births hit record high

Out-of-wedlock births hit record high

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Since: Oct 08

Littleton, CO

#1 Apr 12, 2009
Interesting statistic for 2007 ... is this representative of declining morals or just declining interest in marriage? Forty percent is a provocative number ...

Since: Oct 08

Littleton, CO

#2 Apr 12, 2009
I checked around and found another interesting statistic. For the years 2000-2004, the Michigan abortion rate was 17.1%. Kent County was 13.7%, Muskegon County 16.7% and Ottowa County was 8.1%.
Alvin

Grand Rapids, MI

#3 Apr 12, 2009
I'm seeing more and more young couples living together, purchasing homes together and starting families. The catch is, they don't get married so the "single mother" can maintain that status to collect welfare while she is going to school, and the kids have their father in the home. The kids father is usually working with health care, but we have to pay for the kids. It just seems cost effective as tax payers to fund the agencies that can monitor their clients so the funding goes where it is intended. I don't believe it is there for these young women "to have it all" at the tax payers expense.

“love, loyalty, friendship”

Since: Sep 08

Dutchville

#4 Apr 12, 2009
Alvin wrote:
I'm seeing more and more young couples living together, purchasing homes together and starting families. The catch is, they don't get married so the "single mother" can maintain that status to collect welfare while she is going to school, and the kids have their father in the home. The kids father is usually working with health care, but we have to pay for the kids. It just seems cost effective as tax payers to fund the agencies that can monitor their clients so the funding goes where it is intended. I don't believe it is there for these young women "to have it all" at the tax payers expense.
I see a lot of this where I work.

Single Mom in her early to mid 20's with 1-3 kids. Dad lives there (or at least Dad to 1-2) and works while Mom collects section 8 (pays her rent), has Medicaid, and uses her Bridge Card. They pretend Dad doesn't live there if anyone asks.

Marriage would mess up their free ride and make them responsible for their rent and kids- so they don't.

Since: Sep 08

Deerfield, IL

#5 Apr 12, 2009
Over 50 wrote:
Interesting statistic for 2007 ... is this representative of declining morals or just declining interest in marriage? Forty percent is a provocative number ...
The result of 6 years of Bush style sex ed. When I saw the headline I thought Batch was going to blame Obama for the January, February and March 2009 statistics.

That tramp married yet.
john

Hudsonville, MI

#6 Apr 12, 2009
Alvin and it will only get worse as the obama cradle to grave enhanced welfare payouts go into effect.

Since: Oct 08

Littleton, CO

#7 Apr 12, 2009
john wrote:
Alvin and it will only get worse as the obama cradle to grave enhanced welfare payouts go into effect.
Alvin and John ... If the percentage reported was down around 10-15%, I could agree with the "free ride" concept, but at 40%, there has to be something else in the mix. We are not supporting 40% of the children born during these years, even though it may feel that way at times.
Alvin

Grand Rapids, MI

#8 Apr 12, 2009
john wrote:
Alvin and it will only get worse as the obama cradle to grave enhanced welfare payouts go into effect.
I disagree, I'm expecting the money to go to monitor those that are already abusing the system. The money is there to help the "ooops" in our lives, not for a planned way to get through college and have a family. Most postpone one or the other and pay for it themselves.

“Dude, Where's my car?”

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#9 Apr 12, 2009
Over 50 wrote:
Interesting statistic for 2007 ... is this representative of declining morals or just declining interest in marriage? Forty percent is a provocative number ...
I don't think you attribute this statistic to any single source. Yes, as mentioned on this thread it seems to have become more of reward for not being married, than for being married. One part of the puzzle. It's also possible for a single mother to "make it" on her own, without financial assistance from the father. Morality has it's place, 30 years ago a single mother was an oddity. Today it's acceptable and "normal". There are also some pretty sad statistics on Marriage itself. 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. The numbers rise to 70% for second marriages and 90% for third marriages. So I can see a couple looking at marriage and just saying "Why bother. Odds are it isn't going to work out anyway". My only real question is.. Where are the fathers??? You can spin it anyway you want but the facts are that a child who grows up in a stable, two-parent family have a much better chance of growing up, doing better in school, going on to college and not ending up in Jail.
cynical

Lawton, MI

#10 Apr 12, 2009
Over 50 wrote:
Interesting statistic for 2007 ... is this representative of declining morals or just declining interest in marriage? Forty percent is a provocative number ...
It's indicative of the welfare state. Whenever one of my wife's redneck cousins get knocked up for the first time, the other ones with more experience guide her through the process of signing up for all of the government cheese she can handle.

I'm sure you would find the same thing happening in all of the lazy uneducated communities, regardless of race.

“SPEBSQSA”

Since: Aug 08

Maryland

#11 Apr 12, 2009
Hurley35 wrote:
<quoted text>I don't think you attribute this statistic to any single source. Yes, as mentioned on this thread it seems to have become more of reward for not being married, than for being married. One part of the puzzle. It's also possible for a single mother to "make it" on her own, without financial assistance from the father. Morality has it's place, 30 years ago a single mother was an oddity. Today it's acceptable and "normal". There are also some pretty sad statistics on Marriage itself. 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. The numbers rise to 70% for second marriages and 90% for third marriages. So I can see a couple looking at marriage and just saying "Why bother. Odds are it isn't going to work out anyway". My only real question is.. Where are the fathers??? You can spin it anyway you want but the facts are that a child who grows up in a stable, two-parent family have a much better chance of growing up, doing better in school, going on to college and not ending up in Jail.
Add to that 80% of teenage mothers end up on welfare and most of their kids never finish school and end up in the same repeating cycle.
Plus most of those kids never really bond to anyone and end up on welfare also or in gangs etc...and that cycle continues also...

“think for yourself”

Since: Aug 08

GR

#12 Apr 12, 2009
Mr Wiggley wrote:
<quoted text>
Add to that 80% of teenage mothers end up on welfare and most of their kids never finish school and end up in the same repeating cycle.
Plus most of those kids never really bond to anyone and end up on welfare also or in gangs etc...and that cycle continues also...
I would like to talk as I am one of those 'statistics'. I was a teenage mother, twice. Two before the age of 18. I never collected welfare, but I did have food stamps at one point. I also used the 4C's as they called it back then to pay for childcare while I worked.

My oldest son is now 17, and I have a 16 year old also. They are both doing very well in school, going to graduate, and hopefully move on to college. I have worked for everything I have. I own my own home, bought and paid for with no co-signer at the age of 25, ALL on my own. My name, my sweat, blood and tears.

I choose not to get married because of personal beliefs. I have worked too hard, been through much heartache and prejudice by people like this on these forums and elsewhere. I am also Latino. I may marry this guy I have been with for over 7 years now, because he appreciates me and the struggles I have been through. However, we are in no rush for a paper given to us through the state, and the thousands of dollars it takes to perform this 'ritual'. But maybe one day, we will fly to Jamaica and get married so my wedding certificate can say spinster on it.

I just wanted to show people that not all of these people are doomed. It does take hard work and determination. And the will to be better for your children. So next time someone makes the assumption when they see a single mother using food stamps or bridge card, maybe they are just trying to better themselves, work and go to school, and just need a little help at that moment in time. Yes, many do abuse it, but not all.

Thank you.

“Almost as Sweet as Gunpowder”

Since: Oct 08

United States

#13 Apr 12, 2009
Amazarak wrote:
<quoted text>
I would like to talk as I am one of those 'statistics'. I was a teenage mother, twice. Two before the age of 18. I never collected welfare, but I did have food stamps at one point. I also used the 4C's as they called it back then to pay for childcare while I worked.
My oldest son is now 17, and I have a 16 year old also. They are both doing very well in school, going to graduate, and hopefully move on to college. I have worked for everything I have. I own my own home, bought and paid for with no co-signer at the age of 25, ALL on my own. My name, my sweat, blood and tears.
I choose not to get married because of personal beliefs. I have worked too hard, been through much heartache and prejudice by people like this on these forums and elsewhere. I am also Latino. I may marry this guy I have been with for over 7 years now, because he appreciates me and the struggles I have been through. However, we are in no rush for a paper given to us through the state, and the thousands of dollars it takes to perform this 'ritual'. But maybe one day, we will fly to Jamaica and get married so my wedding certificate can say spinster on it.
I just wanted to show people that not all of these people are doomed. It does take hard work and determination. And the will to be better for your children. So next time someone makes the assumption when they see a single mother using food stamps or bridge card, maybe they are just trying to better themselves, work and go to school, and just need a little help at that moment in time. Yes, many do abuse it, but not all.
Thank you.
I agree with your thoughts on the "ritual." More people may just be realizing that "marriage" is more than a piece of paper, a white dress, and the oh-so over talked about wedding night.

I also agree that people are playing the welfare game with mom/kids collecting aid. This comment isn't directed at you, Amaz., some folks honestly need the help like in your case.

The bottom line is that with society's changed views--without society hollering at people who choose not to marry, snubbing them, etc--there's no incentive or pressure to marry. I lived with my man before we got married. I could have stayed single or gotten married, honestly. It wasn't that important since I considered us married already. to this day I celebrate our true anniversary in June--when we started dating--rather than in December, when we married.

Oh--and I also think the concept of marriage that's pushed at people by the church and the supposed necessicity of it is a farce meant to secure a roll for the church itself.

My opinion :)

“Go MSU Spartans!”

Since: Oct 08

Kalamazoo, MI

#14 Apr 12, 2009
Amazarak wrote:
<quoted text>
I would like to talk as I am one of those 'statistics'. I was a teenage mother, twice. Two before the age of 18. I never collected welfare, but I did have food stamps at one point. I also used the 4C's as they called it back then to pay for childcare while I worked.
My oldest son is now 17, and I have a 16 year old also. They are both doing very well in school, going to graduate, and hopefully move on to college. I have worked for everything I have. I own my own home, bought and paid for with no co-signer at the age of 25, ALL on my own. My name, my sweat, blood and tears.
I choose not to get married because of personal beliefs. I have worked too hard, been through much heartache and prejudice by people like this on these forums and elsewhere. I am also Latino. I may marry this guy I have been with for over 7 years now, because he appreciates me and the struggles I have been through. However, we are in no rush for a paper given to us through the state, and the thousands of dollars it takes to perform this 'ritual'. But maybe one day, we will fly to Jamaica and get married so my wedding certificate can say spinster on it.
I just wanted to show people that not all of these people are doomed. It does take hard work and determination. And the will to be better for your children. So next time someone makes the assumption when they see a single mother using food stamps or bridge card, maybe they are just trying to better themselves, work and go to school, and just need a little help at that moment in time. Yes, many do abuse it, but not all.
Thank you.
I appreciate you too Amazarak- for your obvious intelligence, hard work and contributions you make to the forum. Try not to be offended by a statistic quoted, because it is just that. You should be proud for defying the odds and having some pride and belief in yourself to be something better. You took advantage of the help that was available to you in the manner that it was intended- as a safety net. Nothing wrong with that, and I'm sure you don't feel guilty about it, nor should you.
Alvin

Grand Rapids, MI

#15 Apr 12, 2009
Interesting. I'm not making any judgments whatsoever, I lived with my husband before we got married too. Unfortunately, the way insurance, medical rights and on and on, it is set up for couples to be married. The contract does protect rights too when things go south. I think several folks, including myself, resent the choice of the mother not to hold the children's father responsible, and then turn to the state for that help merely because of their choice. Like Judge Judy says, it is the "child's right to have both parents support" not the mother's choice. I do realize each case has extenuating circumstances. Oh, Amazarak-----you should be very proud of yourself kids or no kids you were very successful at a young age.

“think for yourself”

Since: Aug 08

GR

#16 Apr 12, 2009
Sheriff_Garrett wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree with your thoughts on the "ritual." More people may just be realizing that "marriage" is more than a piece of paper, a white dress, and the oh-so over talked about wedding night.
I also agree that people are playing the welfare game with mom/kids collecting aid. This comment isn't directed at you, Amaz., some folks honestly need the help like in your case.
The bottom line is that with society's changed views--without society hollering at people who choose not to marry, snubbing them, etc--there's no incentive or pressure to marry. I lived with my man before we got married. I could have stayed single or gotten married, honestly. It wasn't that important since I considered us married already. to this day I celebrate our true anniversary in June--when we started dating--rather than in December, when we married.
Oh--and I also think the concept of marriage that's pushed at people by the church and the supposed necessicity of it is a farce meant to secure a roll for the church itself.
My opinion :)
I agree that many are abusing the system. I remember having to go down to that dreadful place and seeing some of those people. It was easy to pick out the ones that just needed a little boost, and those who made a career out of it.

I have been engaged 3 times, and have always called it off. Something about saying these vows only once in my life, then finding out what type of person I was really with. I will admit I have made some bad choices in the past, but it has brought me to where I am.

I feel as though I am married also. If Michigan had common law, I would technically be married now. We talk about getting married, but neither of us are big fans. Why do we need a piece of paper to profess our love? We know we love each other, and neither of us are going anywhere, and I do see myself with him for the rest of my life. I think marriage is for other people around you.

I also have a problem with diamonds. I know, I am crazy, but I do not want a diamond. If I ever do get married, it will be for my children. Maybe when it is legal for gays to be married, I will reconsider my stance.

“think for yourself”

Since: Aug 08

GR

#17 Apr 12, 2009
Sometimes I get my panties in a bunch when I hear things about single teenage mothers. Sorry if I made anyone feel if I was attacking them. Thank you to all for your kind words. I just wish that more mothers out there would try to do more with themselves, instead of feeling like welfare is all they have, and an easy way out. The rewards are so much better when you earn what you have, instead of things being handed to you. I wish more would think in those terms.
JohnnyTulip

Grosse Pointe, MI

#18 Apr 12, 2009
Just give them more money. lets keep teaching the worthless that you get rewarded when you do something the easy way. Just keep pooping out kids and the government will pay you to go to school, and Obama will give you a bunch of stimulus money for child care. I heard Arnold Swarzanegger wants to drug test the people on welfare. I am for it at least they won't be buying drugs with their free money. It is to bad the government doesn't close all the loop holes in the system to make sure it isn't going to get abused. How can Obama think public healthcare could ever work. They can't even run the welfare system.
JohnnyTulip

Grosse Pointe, MI

#19 Apr 12, 2009
Amazarak wrote:
<quoted text>
I would like to talk as I am one of those 'statistics'. I was a teenage mother, twice. Two before the age of 18. I never collected welfare, but I did have food stamps at one point. I also used the 4C's as they called it back then to pay for childcare while I worked.
My oldest son is now 17, and I have a 16 year old also. They are both doing very well in school, going to graduate, and hopefully move on to college. I have worked for everything I have. I own my own home, bought and paid for with no co-signer at the age of 25, ALL on my own. My name, my sweat, blood and tears.
I choose not to get married because of personal beliefs. I have worked too hard, been through much heartache and prejudice by people like this on these forums and elsewhere. I am also Latino. I may marry this guy I have been with for over 7 years now, because he appreciates me and the struggles I have been through. However, we are in no rush for a paper given to us through the state, and the thousands of dollars it takes to perform this 'ritual'. But maybe one day, we will fly to Jamaica and get married so my wedding certificate can say spinster on it.
I just wanted to show people that not all of these people are doomed. It does take hard work and determination. And the will to be better for your children. So next time someone makes the assumption when they see a single mother using food stamps or bridge card, maybe they are just trying to better themselves, work and go to school, and just need a little help at that moment in time. Yes, many do abuse it, but not all.
Thank you.
That is refreshing to hear, because most just want it handed to them. At least you worked to get yourself off welfare and didn't keep milking the system. Way to have some pride.
Alvin

Grand Rapids, MI

#20 Apr 12, 2009
JohnnyTulip wrote:
Just give them more money. lets keep teaching the worthless that you get rewarded when you do something the easy way. Just keep pooping out kids and the government will pay you to go to school, and Obama will give you a bunch of stimulus money for child care. I heard Arnold Swarzanegger wants to drug test the people on welfare. I am for it at least they won't be buying drugs with their free money. It is to bad the government doesn't close all the loop holes in the system to make sure it isn't going to get abused. How can Obama think public healthcare could ever work. They can't even run the welfare system.
You have to have TAX dollars to "close the loopholes" up. The people that work for those agencies are paid with tax dollars and their caseloads just keep getting bigger and bigger because people like you usually complain about taxes. You truly can't have it both ways.

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