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Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#1 Sep 17, 2007
I would like to start a forum for those who have suffered the loss of a child. It doesn't matter the age or how. Just a place where we can relate to one another.
I lost my daughter and her friend in October 2005. My daughter was only 13, her friend was 14. Makes it hard to know that the second anniversary of their death is coming soon.:(

Since: Aug 07

Michigan

#2 Sep 17, 2007
I have never lost a child, but did lose a sibling. Being a parent now, I can not imagine the pain one endures with the loss of a children. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and her friend.

“Congrats to all Graduating”

Since: Aug 07

Muskegon, MI

#3 Sep 17, 2007
I love the fact that you did this, I know that a lot of the out rage comes from opening wounds for people.
I am so sorry for your loss!
To loose a child, that was not my blood child, that I did not see everyday or even once a mont was hard as hell, I can not imagine going htrough this if it was my own.
Not that I did not love her as my own.
Stay strong, you are in my prayers.
BethScott

Grand Rapids, MI

#4 Sep 17, 2007
I think this is a very nice idea.
We lost our son when he was three years old to a medical disorder that was not diagnosed until after he was gone. It's been so hard. I think about him everyday.

Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#5 Sep 17, 2007
Bri Bri 73, you are right. A lot of out rage comes from opening old wounds. But, I refuse to let my daughter and her friends deaths be in vain. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I have read a lot of your posts and am aware that you to have suffered so you are in my thoughts and prayers as well.
Thanks.

Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#6 Sep 17, 2007
Staternater wrote:
I have never lost a child, but did lose a sibling. Being a parent now, I can not imagine the pain one endures with the loss of a children. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and her friend.
Thank you, I have never lost a sibling, but I live with that fear every day because my youngest brother in in the Air Force. I am sorry for your loss as well.

Since: Jul 07

Grandville, MI

#7 Sep 17, 2007
what a wonderfull idea KB's mom. It' hard to believe it's been almost two years, your family & M's family will be in my thoughts & prayers in the weeks to come

Since: Aug 07

Greater Grand Rapids

#8 Sep 17, 2007
I lost my daughter at birth seven years ago. I lost her on a Sunday, had to wait until Tuesday to deleiver (long story there), my mother's birthday was Thurs, buried her on Friday and mother's day was Sunday. Needless to say no one wished me a happy mothers day.

This past summer my brother lost his twin babies the same week as my birthday.

Loosing a child no matter what age is difficult for any parent. One thing that seperates us though is some parents have memories of their children and others only have dreams of what could have been.

Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#9 Sep 18, 2007
welcome to GR wrote:
I lost my daughter at birth seven years ago. I lost her on a Sunday, had to wait until Tuesday to deleiver (long story there), my mother's birthday was Thurs, buried her on Friday and mother's day was Sunday. Needless to say no one wished me a happy mothers day.
This past summer my brother lost his twin babies the same week as my birthday.
Loosing a child no matter what age is difficult for any parent. One thing that seperates us though is some parents have memories of their children and others only have dreams of what could have been.
I am so sorry about your loss, your story brought tears to my eyes. You are right, I have wonderful memories of Kerri for the 13 years that she was with us, and yet I grieve for the dreams I had for her that will never be. Also, my sympathy to your brother and his family. I had two miscarriages prior to losing my daughter, the one was a late term and I remember the pain and hurt. I can honestly say that it was just as difficult for me as the death of Kerri.

Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#10 Sep 18, 2007
BethScott wrote:
I think this is a very nice idea.
We lost our son when he was three years old to a medical disorder that was not diagnosed until after he was gone. It's been so hard. I think about him everyday.
I'm sorry about your loss, I hope you have wonderful memories of the time you had with your son. Losing a child is very hard. My daughter and her friend were struck and killed by a car, I still, almost 2 years later struggle with the guilt of letting her leave the house that afternoon. I kind of feel like I am on a 12 step program, where as I only live one day at a time. I try so hard to be thankful to God for allowing us to have Kerri for the 13 years we did. The one thing that helps to keep me going is in my heart I truly believe I will see both of those girls again some day, I look forward to that day.

Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#11 Sep 18, 2007
outdoors lover wrote:
what a wonderfull idea KB's mom. It' hard to believe it's been almost two years, your family & M's family will be in my thoughts & prayers in the weeks to come
Thank you, I hope it helps others as well. My reason is simply to remember Kerri and M, and I welcome their friends to post on this forum as well.

“Lost my mind”

Since: Apr 07

be back later

#12 Sep 18, 2007
I wish my exfather in law knew anything about computers and has one. He really needs to see this, and see there are other parents out there who struggle daily with the loss of a child.

Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#13 Sep 18, 2007
neecer wrote:
I wish my exfather in law knew anything about computers and has one. He really needs to see this, and see there are other parents out there who struggle daily with the loss of a child.
tragic as it is, there are probably more of us than anyone realizes. I hope your exfather in law knows the struggles that he's dealing with are the same as many of us.
Alesha

Wayland, MI

#14 Sep 18, 2007
I havnt lost a child. But I lost a sister and I cant explain my parents feelings. 1. im young. 2. They dont talk to me. I dont get it, a forum cant help anything.You cant tell the parents anything on how to handle their grief, its theirs and they have to deal with it.
Alesha

Wayland, MI

#15 Sep 18, 2007
I take that back it can help. Im sorry.

“Lost my mind”

Since: Apr 07

be back later

#16 Sep 18, 2007
I think he does. He's really closed off right now. The only one who mentions anything is his Sister. But I was always closer to her anyway.

The whole family is struggling, including all the kids(mine and their half siblings, along with the nieces, nephews and cousins). Some know what happened, and others like mine don't. I didn't think it was appropriate to tell them how their dad died. They have enough to deal with that he's gone at such a young age. The counselor at school is going to be starting up a "grieving group". She says there are actually a lot of kids in the same boat as my guys. For them to find out as children they are not alone will help them a lot too. They are both actually pretty excited about it.

(for those who don't know, my ex, my babies dad killed himself on June 3 of this year)

Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#17 Sep 18, 2007
Alesha wrote:
I havnt lost a child. But I lost a sister and I cant explain my parents feelings. 1. im young. 2. They dont talk to me. I dont get it, a forum cant help anything.You cant tell the parents anything on how to handle their grief, its theirs and they have to deal with it.
Alesha, I'm sorry about your loss. It doesn't matter that you're young, I know your pain is real. You are more than welcome to vent or just share your feelings on this forum as well. Just know you are not alone. There are a lot of people in the same boat as you. Hang in there sweety.(((())))) that is a hug from me to you.

Since: Jun 07

Saint Leonard, MD

#18 Sep 18, 2007
neecer wrote:
I think he does. He's really closed off right now. The only one who mentions anything is his Sister. But I was always closer to her anyway.
The whole family is struggling, including all the kids(mine and their half siblings, along with the nieces, nephews and cousins). Some know what happened, and others like mine don't. I didn't think it was appropriate to tell them how their dad died. They have enough to deal with that he's gone at such a young age. The counselor at school is going to be starting up a "grieving group". She says there are actually a lot of kids in the same boat as my guys. For them to find out as children they are not alone will help them a lot too. They are both actually pretty excited about it.
(for those who don't know, my ex, my babies dad killed himself on June 3 of this year)
Neecer, wow, no, I didn't know about your childrens father. How terrible. My oldest is 28, and when she was 21 her husband, my son-in-law died of an accidental drug overdose leaving her with 2 young boys (4 & 6). She's doing okay, and both the boys still attend counseling (because they want to) they take great comfort in knowing there are other kids who share their feelings. I pray your kids and you will find the strength and comfort to get through this tragedy eventually. By the way, as far as your ex father-in-law the worse thing he can do is shut himself off, I tried that after Kerri died, and I tell you the bitterness and anger will eat you up, and destroy everything around you. I pray he opens up and gets help to deal with his feelings.

“I think I am an All Right Girl”

Since: Aug 07

Grand Rapids

#19 Sep 18, 2007
Oh neecer I am so sorry!

I have never lost a child I did lose my 1st grandaughter at birth that was just as hard.

KBSMom thanks for starting this.
neecer wrote:
I think he does. He's really closed off right now. The only one who mentions anything is his Sister. But I was always closer to her anyway.
The whole family is struggling, including all the kids(mine and their half siblings, along with the nieces, nephews and cousins). Some know what happened, and others like mine don't. I didn't think it was appropriate to tell them how their dad died. They have enough to deal with that he's gone at such a young age. The counselor at school is going to be starting up a "grieving group". She says there are actually a lot of kids in the same boat as my guys. For them to find out as children they are not alone will help them a lot too. They are both actually pretty excited about it.
(for those who don't know, my ex, my babies dad killed himself on June 3 of this year)

Since: Jul 07

Grandville, MI

#20 Sep 18, 2007
I wish they would have had forums like this 20 years ago. I had two miscarriages, one before I had my daughter and one after. It was devistating for me, I lived several hundred miles away from any of my family & my Husband worked 60 to 70 hours a week I had very little sapport when I had my first miscarriage we were living in a new t o w n with litteraly no friends yet. I have kept a diary since I was a kid so I wrote alot of my feeling & frustrations down, then it was my only way to vent. It did help but it would have been nice to be able to talk & share with others that have been thru the same thing. I still write in my journal almost daily just a reflection of my day & thoughts. sometimes it's better to write it down than take it out on my family when I have had a bad day.

Neecer & KB I am so sorry for your childrens, grandchildrens and your loss. I recently lost my own father and at age 39 it was devistaing for me, I can't imagine what a child must go thru & their hurt, my heart goes out to all of you.

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