Aspergers and other Special needs (adults and children)

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“Lost my mind”

Since: Apr 07

be back later

#1 Nov 9, 2008
Ok.. I know I hijacked another thread on this Topic as it was brought up. To not take away from that thread.. I'm going to post on here. I'll pull some of the quotes from the other thread so this makes sense.

Feel free to join in, but I am going to ask that no one bash or demean anyone and how they are dealing with this. For some of us, this is a topic very near and dear to our hearts.

“Lost my mind”

Since: Apr 07

be back later

#2 Nov 9, 2008
From the 'Whats your SECRET' thread....
neecer wrote:
My oldest had problems starting in Kindergarten. The school system he was in was so large then it caused him to become lost in the cracks. They had him work with the counselor a couple of times, the counselor told me to 'get him tested', but not what to have him tested for. In second grade I had moved and was separated and he instantly had problems with kids in his class and was also labeled 'a troubled child'. It took fighting them for most of the school year and spending more time in the principal's office then I did my ENTIRE school carrier to get them to realize it wasn't just him. He was tested and diagnosed with ADHD/ODD at that time. I was told in the second grade he needed help in Math and Reading. He only read at a kindergarten level and couldn't hardly write. After starting the medication, he did a 180 with his grades and reading. He didn't have a kindergarten reading level, he just couldn't focus on the book long enough to actually see what he was reading.

We moved again for his 3rd grade year and had an AWESOME teacher who has a minor in special ed. He was brand new to the district but was recommended for my son because of his issues. It was the first time EVER my son actually enjoyed school. We had some major complications that year. In November my boys' dad left the state to get away from a warrant for child support on his other 2 kids and for his girlfriend. He called them 1 time and that was in May on Memorial weekend (he called twice but he was drunk and there's no way I was going to allow them to talk to him). In June of 2006 he took his own life (no the kids don't know). Last year was pure hell for him. He had a brand new teacher and there were 10 kids with ADHD in his room and she had no control. In April of last year we went through an IEP and he now has the classification of Emotionally Impaired with Aspergers Tendencies and Sensory Integration issues. This year we have a teacher who is AWESOME with him (after fighting the principal who decided she didn't like the recommendation for his teacher from his previous teacher, the SE team, AND his parents!) and he is back to liking school again. He's reading at a high school level and last year tested in the 90 percentile in reading and math on the MEAPS.

We have not had him formally tested for Aspergers yet, but that is something we want to do. He has a LOT of the social issues of Aspies, and then when you throw in the Sensory issues and the EI,'normal' social situations are almost painful for him. We work extra hard for a routine with him and give him the time to 'decompress' when he goes into sensory overload. Believe me, if we don't watch for the signs and symptoms of overload, it turns into a full meltdown that would make a two year old impressed. We have worked hard at educating all of the family members on what to watch for and how to help him. I actually had family members fight me on even doing the IEP.

It's been a long road, but we are struggling through it as a family and do what's best for our son. AND to add to the fun... His dad was bipolar.
That's the first post I started. I won't pull other quotes without permission though....

“Go TIGERS!!”

Since: Nov 07

Rockford, MI

#3 Nov 9, 2008
Good idea Neecer! Many of us have children with special needs, and could use help or could share with others.

I have a son with Cerebral Palsy. Mild as it may be, it still has it's challenges and struggles.

Thanks for starting this!

“Lost my mind”

Since: Apr 07

be back later

#4 Nov 9, 2008
Little Me,

To answer you here....

Yes some kids can be very cruel. I'm wondering if it's the way TK is set up? When you have grade/age grouped elementary schools you have 2 classes to deal with. Throwing them into a Middle then High School situation where you have 3-4 grades and the 'upper upperclassmen' are kids that they haven't met and don't know the situation, kids will pick up on that and go with what's different because they aren't 'normal'.

I don't agree with it, but it's the truth. We battled that in 2 other school districts where the older kids thought it was fine to pick on my son and then got mad when he actually fought back (yes he got in trouble for the fighting back part). When he was a kindergartner, I took older kids to task because of issues at a soccer game. Then I got into it with mom because she didn't see the issues of the brat's thinking it was perfectly ok to pick on a 5 year old and then get mad when the 5 year old fought back and threw rocks at my son.

As for seeing you around Page... Most certainly!!! Son's 5th grade teacher is Mr. H.

And I battled the principal already this year with MEAPS. That woman... I don't know how she got that position, but she's most certainly NOT in it for the kids!

“Lost my mind”

Since: Apr 07

be back later

#5 Nov 9, 2008
5ducklings wrote:
Good idea Neecer! Many of us have children with special needs, and could use help or could share with others.
I have a son with Cerebral Palsy. Mild as it may be, it still has it's challenges and struggles.
Thanks for starting this!
You're welcome!

I didn't want to make this strictly about Aspies.. there is so many other 'issues' that kids face, both mental and developmental out there.

We parents do need an avenue to 'vent' and get ideas for what works and some new techniques for us to try. I know I'm always open for fresh ideas and willing to share what works and doesn't work for us. Maybe others can benefit from this too?

I know you face challenges with your duckling and his schooling too!

“Its a Joke People!!!”

Since: Nov 08

The RealWorld

#6 Nov 9, 2008
I have two boys ages 9 & 12 who are both ADD. Not ADHD, but ADD. They do NOT have the hyper activity aspect of this, but have all the other symptoms. I get tired of senseless comments of people saying its all a bunch of bunk and this is not a real thing. My boys are good boys who are having a huge range of difficulties with attention, focus and trying to succeed in school. My oldest is doing well, we have him on meds. They are not the typical meds for ADD, or ADHD. He is on non narcotics, non stimulant, no addictive. We struggled with even putting him on anything at all, and tried to treat him homepathically. BUT when your child comes to you, and is crying and upset because he can't do it, he just can't focus and pay attention, what do you do?
No one who goes through this just blaise faire puts their child on medications. You research, you investigate the illness or condition, you don't just go by whatevere the doctors tell you.
I really hate that people can be so judgemental when they have no clue what my children go through each and every night just to get some simple homework done.
We are now putting my 9 year old on medication, and are going through to figure out what else we can do with the school in order to work on all the acedemic problems he is having. I also suspect he could possibly have some sort of learning problem. We will keep plugging along to see how to help him.

“mama's boy”

Since: Oct 08

Hastings

#7 Nov 9, 2008
I'll post the Cheff Center's website
It's a great place for so many different issues that both children and adults face.

www.cheffcenter.com
Everything from Cerebral palsy to, autism, and MS and many other are helped through theraputic riding.
Lori

Caledonia, MI

#8 Nov 9, 2008
My daughter was recently diagnosed with Bi-polar depression. However, as a small child, she was initially diagnosed with ADHD/ADD. All throughout her school years, it also became quite obvious that she could not learn as quickly as others. This, then, became a matter of her being cognitive impaired, not ADHD/ADD. I only found out recently that when a child is diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, it can take on the same symptoms as Bi-polar. Please make sure that your Dr. makes the correct diagnosis for your child if you suspect they have ADHD/ADD, it might be BI-polar. With meds, my daughter graduated this past May, and will always need help throughout her life. She will never be self-sufficient, but with help from family and programs, she will do well.
Also, I have ran into the typical parents who say that every kid is labeled with this or that. It is those parents that DO NOT have a child with learning issues and don't know what a struggle everyday life can be. I would rather be the parent that is pro-active when it comes to my child's health then to ignore it and let the child truly suffer through life.

“Lost my mind”

Since: Apr 07

be back later

#9 Nov 9, 2008
Welcome MichChic!

I understand exactly what you're going through as we go through it every day!

It is a daily struggle. As parents, it's our jobs to do what WE feel is best for our children. Each child is different and each has their own struggles. What's good for one is not always what's good for another.

I too get really tired of people telling me it's a 'discipline' issue. It's more than that, but not everyone has an open mind to other thoughts and ideas. This isn't about medicating your children so you don't have to deal with them. This is about finding out what works for YOUR child and doing what's best for them.

I wish you luck and send you good thoughts with working with your boys.

My boys are 10 and almost 9. My 9 year old does not have ADD or ADHD. But he struggles along with the rest of the family as to how to help (or in his case - being the younger brother .. how to annoy).

“Lost my mind”

Since: Apr 07

be back later

#10 Nov 9, 2008
Lori wrote:
My daughter was recently diagnosed with Bi-polar depression. However, as a small child, she was initially diagnosed with ADHD/ADD. All throughout her school years, it also became quite obvious that she could not learn as quickly as others. This, then, became a matter of her being cognitive impaired, not ADHD/ADD. I only found out recently that when a child is diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, it can take on the same symptoms as Bi-polar. Please make sure that your Dr. makes the correct diagnosis for your child if you suspect they have ADHD/ADD, it might be BI-polar. With meds, my daughter graduated this past May, and will always need help throughout her life. She will never be self-sufficient, but with help from family and programs, she will do well.
Also, I have ran into the typical parents who say that every kid is labeled with this or that. It is those parents that DO NOT have a child with learning issues and don't know what a struggle everyday life can be. I would rather be the parent that is pro-active when it comes to my child's health then to ignore it and let the child truly suffer through life.
Welcome Lori!

Studies are showing that with some kids ADHD/ADD is being further diagnosed into Bipolar as they get older. Being as kids bodies react and act differently than adults, their bipolar symptoms could be masked as something else. The psychologist that tested our son at 7 said there was a chance that he could be bipolar, especially as his bio dad was bipolar. He had suggested antidepressants along with the ADHD therapy. The antidepressants is just not an avenue I'm willing to take at this time. Study after study has shown they have the opposite effect in children. In a child with ADHD, the stimulant works as a depressant. Why 'depressant' that anymore.

If we need to consider that in the future, we will look at it with an open mind, but not at 10.

I too have run into those parents and it annoys me to no end. They don't know what I deal with on a daily basis and why a simple book report is such a struggle for my son! Being proactive with our children is our jobs.

“Its a Joke People!!!”

Since: Nov 08

The RealWorld

#11 Nov 9, 2008
Thanks Neecer.
You probably will recognize me as "intolerant of idiots". I changed my screen name because it seems to incite a lot of anger in some of those people who apparently thought they themselves were idiots :) LOL just kidding.
Anyways, yes it is hard to help your children, especially when you do get a lot of pressure from the school to put your child on heavy narcotics, and also from those who think you are not a good parent if you DO put your child on medication. This is not about anybody else but my child. My child who doesn't understand why he can't pay attention in class, who can't understand that even though we study every night, still fails his tests. We also deal with a lot of oppotitional behavior as well. Its very difficult to figure out what is best for you child when you have too many people (family members as well) trying to tell you what they think is best for your child.
I read up on a lot of information, and we try to have the same routine in order to keep thinks on track for my boys.
I am thankful that my oldest is doing really well, and even though he struggles, seems to really be able to do well in school.
My youngest boy is struggling with everything. He is getting better with spelling, but any homework done at school is a struggle, because there are always time limits they have in class. At home when he has homework, we work for 20 minutes, then take a break, then work again. It seems to help him to take a small break and then be able to come back to his work. Also his teacher is part of a website called spellingcity.com where she post their spelling units. I love it!!!!! It helps so much to be able to let him get on the computer and work his spelling words. You pick your teacher, then the right list, and then you get a page to do your spelling words. Its nice because you click the button that tells you the word, and then there is also another button that gives you the word in a sentence. It has made a huge difference in his spelling grade.
Any tricks that the kids are interested in help a lot. Its finding what works for each child that is important.
neecer wrote:
Welcome MichChic!
I understand exactly what you're going through as we go through it every day!
It is a daily struggle. As parents, it's our jobs to do what WE feel is best for our children. Each child is different and each has their own struggles. What's good for one is not always what's good for another.
I too get really tired of people telling me it's a 'discipline' issue. It's more than that, but not everyone has an open mind to other thoughts and ideas. This isn't about medicating your children so you don't have to deal with them. This is about finding out what works for YOUR child and doing what's best for them.
I wish you luck and send you good thoughts with working with your boys.
My boys are 10 and almost 9. My 9 year old does not have ADD or ADHD. But he struggles along with the rest of the family as to how to help (or in his case - being the younger brother .. how to annoy).
renee

Grand Rapids, MI

#12 Nov 9, 2008
Both my son and my nephew have been diagnosed as ADHD. My nephew is currently on Concerta. I absolutely hate it for him, but his parents are all for it. When he takes meds it seems as if he's lost within himself and no longer have any emotion or personality. I refuse to put my son on perscription meds. I don't want him suffering the side effects nor do I want to put such strong chemicals in his system.

Someone once suggested I give him a can of Coca Cola in the morning, afternoon, & evening. Evidently, the sugar and caffiene are supposed to stimulate the neuro and nervous systems, thus giving him more energy and when he "crashes" he will end up at a even level (not sure if that's how it really works). Anyway, I tried it once and he was totally out of control for about 1/2 hour, but afterwards he acted like every other normal kid. I don't want to keep giving him pop because it's not good for him.

I'm thinking about making an appointment with an herbalist to see if there is some sort of natural herbs which would give the same results but not he harmful to his system.

“Its a Joke People!!!”

Since: Nov 08

The RealWorld

#13 Nov 9, 2008
We tried some herbal things for a while. We did the vitamin B and also Focus Attention powder. I can't remember all the herbal things in it. But it did seem to help a bit. Plus we changed diet. Got rid of pop and as much sugar items as we could. It really hard to follow the strict diet when you have 3 kids and a husband who are picky. I guess we just didn't want to go that extreme.
We now have my 12 year old on Strattera, which is not narcotic, not stimulant, not addictive. It has helped him a lot.
My 9 year old we are trying it on him, but at this point its not really making a difference. We have upped his dosage this week, and we will wait a few weeks and see if that makes a difference.
Talking with our doctor, we just did NOT want to go the route with heavy narcotics, and he 100% agreed with us. He does not like to put children on those types of meds, but he said he also gets pressure from parents who demand he give him those prescriptions for thier children.
I guess the best thing we as parents can do it REALLY investigate what all the options are out there.
If you decide the herbal route, check out the health food stores. Depending on where you go, they can give you great advice on which herbs to try. I would definitly get advice from you doctor though as well before starting anything. Some things just are not good for kids even if they are herbal. We got what we wanted for my son, and then made an appointment with his doctor to show him exactly what we had and got his advice as well.
Good Luck with what you decide.
renee wrote:
Both my son and my nephew have been diagnosed as ADHD. My nephew is currently on Concerta. I absolutely hate it for him, but his parents are all for it. When he takes meds it seems as if he's lost within himself and no longer have any emotion or personality. I refuse to put my son on perscription meds. I don't want him suffering the side effects nor do I want to put such strong chemicals in his system.
Someone once suggested I give him a can of Coca Cola in the morning, afternoon, & evening. Evidently, the sugar and caffiene are supposed to stimulate the neuro and nervous systems, thus giving him more energy and when he "crashes" he will end up at a even level (not sure if that's how it really works). Anyway, I tried it once and he was totally out of control for about 1/2 hour, but afterwards he acted like every other normal kid. I don't want to keep giving him pop because it's not good for him.
I'm thinking about making an appointment with an herbalist to see if there is some sort of natural herbs which would give the same results but not he harmful to his system.

“Its a Joke People!!!”

Since: Nov 08

The RealWorld

#14 Nov 9, 2008
Sorry about all the grammar errors in the previous post ;)

“think for yourself”

Since: Aug 08

GR

#15 Nov 9, 2008
Hi Neecer,

Thanks for starting this thread. Raising a child that is considered to be "out of the norm" can be very trying for everyone involved.

They first started seeing signs my son was different in kindergarten. And in first grade, the school did an observation study to determine he was ADHD. And took that report to my doctor, which sees him maybe a couple times out the year, agreed. So then came the meds. Finally, in fifth grade, there was a counselor that talked to him, and she thought he may have Asperger's. Then she recommended me to get a full diagnosis. I went to Hope Network. As soon as my son walked in and started talking, the knew he had Asperger's. The typical "proffesor" speech, taking everything literal, and not much eye contact. They also said he had anxiety and depression, because at this time , he had NO friends because he just did not know how to interact. But no ADHD. The big difference is, he has concentration skills, only those things that do not interest him, he could care less. Give him something he is interested in, and he is ingulfed for hours on end. So it is easy to mistake this for ADHD.

So we took him off of meds immediately. The school was not so happy. They pushed and pushed, even after seeing the report from Hope Network, which I take to be more proffesional than the school report, because this is what they do for a living. So, in one of the IEP meetings, with about 5 teachers, the principal, and counselors, all pushing for meds, my honey and me told them he will not be on any more meds.

He has had one class during the day to help with homework and organization, but spends the rest of the day in regular classes. He has made so much progress, that this year, he has at least one friend, and he doesn't have that one class anymore, per the wishes of my son. He still sees the counselor about once a week, and his grades are on the up. He would have straight A's if he got all his homework in on time, but that is our main goal this year, and he is doing extremely well.

All the luck to you with your son/children. And it is you that knows your son the best, and stay strong and don't let the school try and push anything on you or your son that you do not feel is right. I was actually told that by the counselor who made the initial diagnosis for my son. She told me, because I was a young parent, that they will try and push this stuff on me, but don't let them. I have the power. I have the final say. And things are working out. It has been a long, hard road, and its not over yet.

“think for yourself”

Since: Aug 08

GR

#16 Nov 9, 2008
neecer wrote:
Little Me,
To answer you here....
Yes some kids can be very cruel. I'm wondering if it's the way TK is set up? When you have grade/age grouped elementary schools you have 2 classes to deal with. Throwing them into a Middle then High School situation where you have 3-4 grades and the 'upper upperclassmen' are kids that they haven't met and don't know the situation, kids will pick up on that and go with what's different because they aren't 'normal'.
I don't agree with it, but it's the truth. We battled that in 2 other school districts where the older kids thought it was fine to pick on my son and then got mad when he actually fought back (yes he got in trouble for the fighting back part). When he was a kindergartner, I took older kids to task because of issues at a soccer game. Then I got into it with mom because she didn't see the issues of the brat's thinking it was perfectly ok to pick on a 5 year old and then get mad when the 5 year old fought back and threw rocks at my son.
As for seeing you around Page... Most certainly!!! Son's 5th grade teacher is Mr. H.
And I battled the principal already this year with MEAPS. That woman... I don't know how she got that position, but she's most certainly NOT in it for the kids!
My son has also had troubles with the fighting issue. The last time he had a fist fight, was in 8th grade in the boys locker room. Some kid was picking on him, and my son clocked him a good one in front of everyone. Now, people think twice before picking on him. He hasn't had anything like that happen since.

“think for yourself”

Since: Aug 08

GR

#17 Nov 9, 2008
renee wrote:
Both my son and my nephew have been diagnosed as ADHD. My nephew is currently on Concerta. I absolutely hate it for him, but his parents are all for it. When he takes meds it seems as if he's lost within himself and no longer have any emotion or personality. I refuse to put my son on perscription meds. I don't want him suffering the side effects nor do I want to put such strong chemicals in his system.
Someone once suggested I give him a can of Coca Cola in the morning, afternoon, & evening. Evidently, the sugar and caffiene are supposed to stimulate the neuro and nervous systems, thus giving him more energy and when he "crashes" he will end up at a even level (not sure if that's how it really works). Anyway, I tried it once and he was totally out of control for about 1/2 hour, but afterwards he acted like every other normal kid. I don't want to keep giving him pop because it's not good for him.
I'm thinking about making an appointment with an herbalist to see if there is some sort of natural herbs which would give the same results but not he harmful to his system.
Diet has much to do with the behavior of kids. I heard wheat bread is good, and a granny smith apple has the same effect of two cups of coffee without the caffeine. There are many other things that I cannot think of right now, but I am sure can be looked up quite easily on the internet.

“Information doesn't kill you.”

Since: Apr 08

Grand Blanc, MI

#18 Nov 9, 2008
Reading that many of you have children with ADD or ADHD, and it sounds like many of the kids aren't in special education but the kids are still struggling, have you looked into Section 504?

It is a Civil Rights law that allows for accommodations for a child with disabilities (which ADD/ADHD qualifies). The child doesn't need to be labeled as "special ed" or have an IEP, which are two labels that many parents want to avoid, but still allows for some legal modifications and accomodations to help the child be as successful as possible.

Here is a link to some more info.
http://www.504idea.org/504overview.html

As a special ed teacher, I don't have any students with 504 plans, all of my students have IEP's, but it can be a good avenue to look into. The other thing with 504 is that it can provide accomodations in college as well, which an IEP does not.

“Information doesn't kill you.”

Since: Apr 08

Grand Blanc, MI

#19 Nov 9, 2008
Amazarak wrote:
<quoted text>
My son has also had troubles with the fighting issue. The last time he had a fist fight, was in 8th grade in the boys locker room. Some kid was picking on him, and my son clocked him a good one in front of everyone. Now, people think twice before picking on him. He hasn't had anything like that happen since.
While I don't condone fighting (usually), good for your son for sticking up for himself. Sometimes the "laws of the playground" have to take precedence.

“Information doesn't kill you.”

Since: Apr 08

Grand Blanc, MI

#20 Nov 9, 2008
Amazarak wrote:
Hi Neecer,
I have the power. I have the final say. And things are working out. It has been a long, hard road, and its not over yet.
And don't forget that you have the power. While the teachers etc. have some expertise, your son is just that, YOUR son. Listen and ask a lot of questions, maybe you can find out why they are making suggestions that you disagree with, but don't agree with anything in an IEP that you cannot live with. To keep a good working relationship going with the teacher though, if there are things you disagree with in the IEP, ask to suspend the meeting rather than signing and then trying to go back and fight it.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

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