Mom doesn't want to move son's roadside memorial

When Kraig Millsap was killed by a hit-and-run driver in December, his family and friends put up a roadside memorial at the location. Full Story
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melissa

Harvard, IL

#1 Apr 16, 2008
I thought they passed a law banning those roadside memorials?
GET REAL

AOL

#2 Apr 16, 2008
Mom probably should have buried her son. That way friends and family would have a place to go. The poor land owners are not at fault here.
the snoo

United States

#3 Apr 16, 2008
it is sad it has come to this, but if there has been vandalism, i can understand the stance of the property owner
Carol

AOL

#4 Apr 16, 2008
I feel sorry for the family that lost a son so young, but that is no reason why they should put up a memorial on the site of the accident. It is not the property owners responsibility to keep a memorial at the site. I also think they should elimate all the memorials on the sides of our roads. It is sad that the only way then can remember their loved ones is to have it as a daily reminder. There are other ways to remember the loved ones.
Gwinnie

Marquette, MI

#5 Apr 16, 2008
Both sides of the arguement definitley make sense. It's just a sad thing that both sides have made such a good point.
Rozz 27_3

Stanton, MI

#6 Apr 16, 2008
melissa wrote:
I thought they passed a law banning those roadside memorials?
I thought they did too!.. but I can see both sides of this issue .. it's hard one to call ..sure wouldn't want to be on that committee that has to call the shot .. it is a no win for either side ..May God Bless/and be with them for the best solution ..
tjd

United States

#7 Apr 16, 2008
I bet the property damage has nothing to do with the roadside memorial. It's just a cruch for the heartless homeonwer to use.
sher

AOL

#8 Apr 16, 2008
A memorial should be a happy thing, not a place to think about the horrible accident. Are they grieving the loss of their child or the accident?
If she wants a memorial put it in her own yard, make a garden to remember happy things about him.
michael g

Madison, WI

#9 Apr 16, 2008
It's 100% the homeowners call. I haven't seen this particular memorial, but a lot of them get pretty tacky and trashy looking over time, and I wouldn't want them in my yard. Maybe a compromise with a small stone, or small white cross is in order.
michael g

Madison, WI

#10 Apr 16, 2008
tjd wrote:
I bet the property damage has nothing to do with the roadside memorial. It's just a cruch for the heartless homeonwer to use.
It's his yard. He can pour lighter fluid on it and set it on fire if he wants. He did the decent thing and asked the family of the victim to come and get it, rather than just removing it himself.
TD Jensen

Rockford, MI

#11 Apr 16, 2008
I can understand the new owners concern but are the broken windows a result of this memorial? If the memorial was not there, would the windows still have been broken? It sounds more like vandalism to me......an unattended residence.
internetbaglady

United States

#12 Apr 16, 2008
I dont think I would want a roadside memorial in my yard either,thats what cemeterys are for.
my thoughts

Caledonia, MI

#13 Apr 16, 2008
I drive by memorials every day. I think that they are fine for a short time, but like others said, they can start to look cluttered and unkept. Why does the family have to have a memorial there? Yes, I realize that is where he died, however a more fitting place would be to have it at the family home where the family can mantain it, and the private property of others is not invaded by people coming by and using that as a cemetary to grieve. If the family doesn't want a memorial at their house, maybe they can purchase a tombstone and have a memorial at a cemetary. Yes, people need a place to grieve, but it doesn't have to be at the place of death. What if the boy had died at the hospital? Would the memorial site be there?
MaryAnne

Amelia Court House, VA

#14 Apr 16, 2008
I would bet that the boy is looking down on his mother and friends and is saying, "Stop remembering me for how I died and start remembering me for how I lived."

Just because it has been there from "day 1" is no reason to maintain it into infinity. The time has come to move it to a more appropriate place. The mother should create a garden at her own home with a memorial stone and flowers and a park bench where friends and family can come and sit and think about him. He should be remembered in someplace happy and peaceful. Friends going to the memorial at the place where he died is much more morbid.

The homeowner is not obligated in any way to allow the current memorial to remain on his property and it is rather selfish of the mother to expect him to. She needs to accept change.

“...all but 6...UNLESS”

Since: Mar 08

The Merry Ol Land Of Oz

#15 Apr 16, 2008
What a sensitive subject matter; seeing some of the "roadside memorials," stuffed animals, papers, flowers, etc, being wet and soggy...
And we can't help sympathize with the child's mother who is in the grieving process and doesn't want anything to change.....
Just so sad

“...all but 6...UNLESS”

Since: Mar 08

The Merry Ol Land Of Oz

#16 Apr 16, 2008
And I don't think the mother expects to have it there indefinitely, she is only in the grieving process...obviously, if he died at a hospital, there wouldn't be a memorial there; I, myself, don't understand the roadside memorial thing, but I've never been in that situation either; I think I would get more comfort from being in the deceased's room, under the covers they last slept under...
Montucky

Harvard, IL

#17 Apr 16, 2008
This should be the new land owners decision! I wouldn't want an unsightly site on my property, as some of them I have seen can look pretty tacky! However maybe a compromise could be reached where as a small plaque could be set into the ground for a rememberance...... Just food for thought!
Confused

United States

#18 Apr 16, 2008
I'm mixed on roadside memorials. But think of this when a loved one dies at a hospital, do you see anyone putting up a memorial in the room or operating room they died in?
Confused

United States

#19 Apr 16, 2008
rval2 I must have been typing the above message when you were typing yours. I see I'm not the only one.

“...all but 6...UNLESS”

Since: Mar 08

The Merry Ol Land Of Oz

#20 Apr 16, 2008
Everyone mourns differently...I am not about to tell this mother it is time for her to "move on" or how or where she finds comfort is morbid...I hope she has a solid support system

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