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Michigan Mom

United States

#42 May 21, 2009
Momma_G wrote:
I'm not sure I could record since a lot of the altercations occur on the phone. I could just ignore his calls (which I often do) but when they get my children upset, I'm going to defend them like a Momma Lion!
I've completed my paperwork & have all my notes and police reports in hand. Filing for my PPO today.
That great that you are filing a PPO ...but that's JUST a piece of paper. There have been lots of advice, suggestions, comments etc. But the reality is... it is up to you. The police can not protect you 24/7.
Assuming that you are not co-dependent and addicted to the drama of the relationship... it is up to YOU to STOP the merry-go-round. If you are the momma lion you claim then, it's done and it's stopped...TODAY.
People like your ex play the odds that they can get away with it... and they do because there are no consequences for their actions
Action breed consequences and today.. it time for the consequences.

Since: Nov 08

Kalamazoo, MI

#43 May 21, 2009
Big Mike wrote:
You want me to slap the S h i t out of him ??
yes!!

Since: Nov 08

Kalamazoo, MI

#44 May 21, 2009
Michigan Mom wrote:
<quoted text>That great that you are filing a PPO ...but that's JUST a piece of paper. There have been lots of advice, suggestions, comments etc. But the reality is... it is up to you. The police can not protect you 24/7.
Assuming that you are not co-dependent and addicted to the drama of the relationship... it is up to YOU to STOP the merry-go-round. If you are the momma lion you claim then, it's done and it's stopped...TODAY.
People like your ex play the odds that they can get away with it... and they do because there are no consequences for their actions
Action breed consequences and today.. it time for the consequences.
Until you are in the situation, it's easy to judge. It will be stopped today. I will no longer allow myself or my children to be a victim to this man.

thanks for your support.

“So what!!”

Since: Apr 08

Lakeview, Mi.

#45 May 21, 2009
Momma_G wrote:
<quoted text>
Until you are in the situation, it's easy to judge. It will be stopped today. I will no longer allow myself or my children to be a victim to this man.
thanks for your support.
Atta girl....he is a low life impersonating as a male. Do what ya goota do but just do it. It's mind over matter,,,you don't mind that he doesn't matter.
Michigan Mom

United States

#46 May 21, 2009
Momma_G wrote:
<quoted text>
Until you are in the situation, it's easy to judge. It will be stopped today. I will no longer allow myself or my children to be a victim to this man.
thanks for your support.
Oh no, I have been really close to a situation like this, if you call holding a knife to a family members throat and walked the house at night with a baseball bat comparable. Spent much time and energy trying to fix/help the "perp". Finally realized if things did not change somebody was going to die. You did ask for advice so should not be offended with what is offered.
Believe me, I'm not judging you at all, just hoping that you understand, YOU have more power and control over the situation than you realize and seriously need to exercise it.
Sky is always darkest before dawn..or something like that. Good luck to you.
baby mama drama

Fennville, MI

#47 May 22, 2009
For one is she the actuall victim and the kids as well or is she one of theese ex's that are pissed off that her ex had gotten re-married moved on with his life and now is pissed off and jealous that he isn't coming back so she tries to ruin his life legally and all over the net as well by making up a bunch of bs? How do we know?

Since: Apr 09

United States

#48 May 22, 2009
Video, Would help alot better than notes, Although your son could back up most of It in court. And If the verbal abuse Is actual life threatening, Thats a whole different can of worms, If It Is, Video w/sound would put him right where he belongs, And provide enough evidence to have him arrested. Or you could call Guido! But! they would probably come back to you for doing so. Good luck, And be careful, Usually this Is the first sign of someone about to go postal.
Allegan Redneck

United States

#49 May 22, 2009
baby mama drama wrote:
For one is she the actuall victim and the kids as well or is she one of theese ex's that are pissed off that her ex had gotten re-married moved on with his life and now is pissed off and jealous that he isn't coming back so she tries to ruin his life legally and all over the net as well by making up a bunch of bs? How do we know?
If you were as familiar with Momma G as we are you'd know that isn't the case here...I think you have Momma G confused with my ex-wife.:-)

Since: Nov 08

Kalamazoo, MI

#50 May 22, 2009
Allegan Redneck wrote:
<quoted text>
If you were as familiar with Momma G as we are you'd know that isn't the case here...I think you have Momma G confused with my ex-wife.:-)
Thanks AR. you are correct. Don't care that my ex married the woman he was screwing when we were married... married her in a bar!! LOL (That will just never stop being funny!!)
Sad fact is, he has alcohol problems and he has got continually worse. He wasn't so bad when we were making a family... it started a few years before he left. Mid Life crisis? Regardless, the way he speaks (yells) to me on the phone upsets our son. I can take it as long as I know it's only directed at me. The fact that he actually transfered the anger to our son on the phone Tuesday night was what made me decide to get the paperwork Wednesday. I did. Filled it out, took it back yesterday with years of documentation and copies of police reports. Pick up my PPO today when I get out of work. It's a warrantless arrest. He calls me... I call 911 & he's in hand cuffs.
Hope this finally gets his attention so he can get control of his anger issues. We actually tried mediation last year & he got so violent the mediator asked him to leave & wouldn't let me leave until my ex was out of the building! He needs help but he has to want to get it. I want my son to have a relationship with his father but his father is ruining any chance of that happening.

“The "Dude" is not in.”

Since: Apr 09

not a native.

#51 May 22, 2009
You have taken all the right steps. However, I had a boyfriend about 6 years ago that never heeded the PPO. And because I hit him back and cracked his head open, he called the cops on ME and I WAS ARRESTED. I fought it all in court and went for therapy, for the judge to decide it was self-defense on my part. Long story short, PPO's don't protect you from altercation. Either way, if they choose to (in my case) follow you to the college campus and attack you on your way back to the car, PPO's are meaningless. And this was after I had broken my relationship off with this person. Shortly after all that, I found a WONDERFUL person, married him and feared the whole time that my ex would come after me because he was THAT unstable. And I found out 3 years ago, two days before my wedding, that that young man had killed himself. I no longer fear that PPO's dont stop bullets. I truly feel for you. Being a victim of DV is something that is all too common and hurtful. You have a friend here, for strength.=)

Honestly, like I said, you have totally done the right thing. And I am not telling you to always look over your shoulder, but, perhaps there is another outlet for you, like Friend of the Court, in regard to your child and legal mediation to supplement.

Since: Sep 08

Muskegon

#53 May 31, 2009
baby mama drama wrote:
For one is she the actuall victim and the kids as well or is she one of theese ex's that are pissed off that her ex had gotten re-married moved on with his life and now is pissed off and jealous that he isn't coming back so she tries to ruin his life legally and all over the net as well by making up a bunch of bs? How do we know?
We don't know anyone on here is telling the truth. But that's no reason to cast vague accusations either.

“Pleasantly Deranged”

Since: Apr 08

West Michigan

#54 May 31, 2009
Momma_G wrote:
Looking for suggestions... I have a verbally abusive ex husband. I have involved the Sheriff & filed complaints. Last night was particularly bad. It upsets our 12 year old (almost 13) and when he tries to tell his dad how he feels, Ex yells at him too.
Any advice?
well, my first bit of advice would be to not post it on topix. My wife yells at me all the time. sometimes she even drops the f-bomb. I empathize with your situation, but this is an internet chat forum. Do you really think you will find meaningful advice here? Watch Judge Judy a coupla times and she'll tell ya what to do.
bunnee

Grand Rapids, MI

#55 May 31, 2009
Wide_Stance wrote:
<quoted text>
well, my first bit of advice would be to not post it on topix. My wife yells at me all the time. sometimes she even drops the f-bomb. I empathize with your situation, but this is an internet chat forum. Do you really think you will find meaningful advice here? Watch Judge Judy a coupla times and she'll tell ya what to do.
LOVE it! Dr. Laura/Judge Judy 2012

Since: Apr 09

Wyoming

#56 Jun 1, 2009
Mom in Jenison wrote:
<quoted text>
Is it legal to record someone without their knowledge? Not that I care much about the jerk's civil liberties, but would Momma_G be able to submit that in court as evidence?
My husband recorded conversations he had with his ex-wife to protect himself from her accusations. We checked with the Michigan Attorney General. It is legal in the state of Michigan to record any conversation to which you are a part of. It is not legal to record a conversation if you are not a part of the conversation. As long as one party of the conversation is aware of the recording it is legal.

Sullivan v. Gray, 342 N.W. 2d 58, 60-61 (Mich. Ct. App. 1982)

Since: Apr 09

Wyoming

#57 Jun 1, 2009
Momma_G wrote:
I'm not sure I could record since a lot of the altercations occur on the phone. I could just ignore his calls (which I often do) but when they get my children upset, I'm going to defend them like a Momma Lion!
I've completed my paperwork & have all my notes and police reports in hand. Filing for my PPO today.
My husband bought equipment from Radioshack that allowed him to record his phone conversations with his ex-wife. She would call him, scream at him on the phone, threaten to have his parental rights taken away, swore at him throughout the conversation and then told him she was going to report to FOC how his spoke to her on the phone. His recordings gave a really clear picture to FOC which one was do the harassing. Again, he does not need to be aware of the recording of a private conversation as long as one party of the conversation is doing the recording. See Sullivan v. Gray, 342 N.W. 2d 58, 60-61 (Mich. Ct. App. 1982).
Twiggy

Rockford, MI

#58 Jul 2, 2009
Over 50 wrote:
Restraining Order should calm things down in a hurry ...
Restraining orders arent worth the paper they are written on. You need a criminal restraint for the police to be able to remove him from the property.
bunnee

Saint Charles, IL

#59 Jul 2, 2009
Twiggy wrote:
<quoted text>
Restraining orders arent worth the paper they are written on.
As evidenced by Troy's ex-wife`
Twiggy

Rockford, MI

#60 Jul 3, 2009
bunnee wrote:
<quoted text>
As evidenced by Troy's ex-wife`
You are a very insecure person arent you bunnee. You seem to feel it is necessary to bring Troys name to every thread you post on. I feel sorry for you. You almost sound like you have to put others down before they have a chance to do that to you. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. There is a good person in there somewhere, we just have to find it.

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