Lawton

Minneapolis, MN

#1 Jan 29, 2013
The Best Joke EVER

A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet & all of his identification.

Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home, but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.

"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent. "I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.

"Sure, Buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent.

"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt & George Bush on the other."

"This I gotta see," replied the agent.

With that, the guy dropped his pants & showed the agent his behind.

"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to Chicago."

"Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago?"

The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle."
Amused Slew

Seattle, WA

#2 Jan 29, 2013
Looks like Layton is the middle and your tongue is dirty from servicing SL !
Amused Slew

Seattle, WA

#3 Jan 29, 2013
Looks like Lawton is the middle and your tongue is dirty from servicing SL !
Amused Slew

Minneapolis, MN

#5 Jan 29, 2013
Amused Slew wrote:
Looks like Lawton is the middle and your tongue is dirty from servicing SL !
This is so sad. The Spell Check Queen of Topix has fallen from her throne. The Queen is dead! RIP my beloved Spell Check Queen.
Amused Slew

Seattle, WA

#6 Jan 29, 2013
Keep posting, someday you'll say something intelligent, just not soon ! LMAOROTFU~!
Amused Slew

Minneapolis, MN

#8 Jan 29, 2013
Amused Slew wrote:
Keep posting, someday you'll say something intelligent, just not soon ! LMAOROTFU~!
I am not the Spell Check Queen of Topix. OOPS! LMAOROLFU~! You used to be the Spell Check Queen.
Amused Slew

Seattle, WA

#9 Jan 29, 2013
When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it ? You or your wife ???
Amused Slew

Minneapolis, MN

#10 Jan 29, 2013
Amused Slew wrote:
When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it ? You or your wife ???
More redeemer jokes. I am going to have to have a serious talk with that dude for messin' with my husband.
Philo Beddoe

Mesa, AZ

#13 Jan 29, 2013
The Truth wrote:
Best joke ever = Schmahl.
Is the Barracuda Restaurant still open in Chișinău?
Philo Beddoe

Mesa, AZ

#14 Jan 29, 2013
Apparently, the Topix site does not like the Moldovan alphabet. That word was supposed to be Chisinau of course.
redeemer

Minneapolis, MN

#15 Jan 29, 2013
Philo Beddoe wrote:
Apparently, the Topix site does not like the Moldovan alphabet. That word was supposed to be Chisinau of course.
Call and find out

Since: Feb 13

Minneapolis, MN

#16 Feb 3, 2013
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"

The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."

The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"

The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Grand Portage Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Veteran Freed From MSP VA Dental Dept Phone Abu... 48 min American_Sons 14
Mall of America Protest 1 hr Sam Toliver 16
Minneapolis schools superintendent FIRED 21 hr Ron 9
Global warming 'undeniable,' scientists say (Jul '10) 22 hr Earthling-1 33,474
Walker Wins Unions Lose (May '12) Fri LIbEralS 29
Review: State Wide Protective Agency (Jul '11) Fri Martin Scott treptow 84
8 dead in aussie stabbing Fri Space ace 1

Winter Storm Watch for Cook County was issued at December 21 at 10:02AM CST

Grand Portage Dating
Find my Match
More from around the web

Grand Portage People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Grand Portage News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Grand Portage

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]

NFL Latest News

Updated 2:50 pm PST

Bleacher Report 2:50PM
Complete Week 15 Preview for Green Bay
Bleacher Report 8:19 PM
Ranking Packers' Best Wins over Buccaneers
Bleacher Report 9:16 PM
What Are Experts Saying About Vikings vs. Dolphins
Yahoo! Sports12:30 PM
Greg Cosell's Look Ahead: Aaron Rodgers' off day
Yahoo! Sports 5:26 PM
Lions claim playoff berth with Eagles' loss