wind storm blows away pronto pup stand

Posted in the Grand Haven Forum

Scoop Johnson

Chicago, IL

#1 May 19, 2014
65 mph wind gusts blew the pronto pup stand a mile onto the state park.
Scoop Johnson

Chicago, IL

#2 May 19, 2014
During the brief, but severe thunderstorm which blew through west Michigan last night, Grand Haven’s iconic Pronto Pups stand was sucked into a tornado-like updraft by gale force winds that briefly exceeded 65 m.p.h., and blown more than half a mile, before falling onto the beach at the Grand Haven State Park. State Park Superintendent Josh Vandermeyer witnessed Pronto Pups falling from the sky while keeping watch over the campgrounds during the storm.

“I couldn’t believe it”, said Vandermeyer,“but that white shed with the yellow trim couldn’t be anything else, and when I saw that puppy hit the sand, I just starting running towards it.” Vandermeyer was concerned there could be people trapped inside, but Pronto Pups had closed for the night thirty minutes earlier, and at first glance it appeared empty. Vandermeyer climbed inside to be certain.“I couldn’t see all the way in there from outside”, said Josh,“but instinct and State Park training kicks in at times like that, and there’s no time to worry about the roof caving in or the scalding-hot oil from that deep-fryer.”

Vandermeyer spent more than twenty minutes, searching every corner and cubbyhole within the structure’s 63-square-feet, before satisfying himself there was no one in peril.“I’m glad no one was hurt and everything”, said a despondent Vandermeyer,“But I would’ve been the town hero today if someone had been trapped inside…” Fortunately for all involved parties, Pronto-Pups suffered only minor structural damage, and miraculously, very little oil spilled from the deep-fryer, and should still be usable whenever the world-famous Pup dispensary is able to re-open.

Attempts to contact Pronto-Pups’ owners have gone answered, but Lionel Bickersbetter, an attorney for Speedy-Dogs LLC, the NASDAQ-listed corporate parent of Pronto-Pups, has confirmed the company is in emergency talks with The City of Grand Haven about leaving Pronto-Pups in its new, lakeside location. Bickersbetter says,“Our clients are prepared to borrow someone’s pick-up truck and move their stand back from the beach, but we believe our customers would love the convenience of getting a Pup without leaving the beach, and a new stand could be erected in the original location within three or four days, provided Home Depot isn’t short on two-by-fours.”

A decision by The City is expected tomorrow. Stay with The Grand River Times for any breaking developments on this story.
John Depth

Chicago, IL

#3 Jun 10, 2014
That is the by far the worst article i have ever seen posted here.
we are now all dumber for having read it.
I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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