WhatYouThink

Mckenzie, TN

#1 Oct 16, 2011
I am trying to get out of paying child support for my children because honestly I am a greedy bastard. I know I can raise my children cheaper than she does. How far can I go lying to the kids to make them not want to live their mother? I appreciate all your suggestions. Please help me.
Taken

Folsom, CA

#2 Oct 17, 2011
If u are the one raising them and they want to live with you then you don't have to lie. Kids know more than u think and they will stay with te parent who is there for them and not worry about the money. Sounds like ur ex is someone who doesn't néed children. If she's like some of the women in town shes unfit to raise them anyway.
Taken

Folsom, CA

#3 Oct 17, 2011
Get a lawyer is my advice and make sure you have everything on her. She must not want th anyway unless it's for money And no way do I think a man put this on here calling himself a greedy bastard sounds like a woman who can't get child support and her kids don't want anything todo with her. Karma always comes back. Sounds like you have lost control lady.
WhatYouThink

Mckenzie, TN

#4 Oct 17, 2011
Well I am a man and I don't have a problem calling a spade a spade. I think you are a second or third wife that doesn't like her man paying child support, so we are on the same side. The problem is I don't have anything on her. She's a good mother, but I think me and the new woman can raise the girls cheaper than she does. I'm trying to get advice from guys who have been in the same situation.
Kristi G

Humboldt, TN

#5 Oct 17, 2011
It shouldnt be about money.If you and your new wife can give the girls a stable and loving home and raise them in a christian environment them I say go for it.How old are your girls.
Taken

Folsom, CA

#6 Oct 17, 2011
Actually I'm a woman who has never had to ask for a dime for my kids but my husbands ex wants us to pay her when their kids I am raising comes once a month and they beg not to o then. She literally tells us where she took them and how broke she is and half the time doesn't even buy a Christmas present for them. So if you are a man and you can raise them in a better environment I'm happy for you but as far as me it ticks me off that so many women think a man owes them for kids and they use the money on themselves.
WhatYouThink

Mckenzie, TN

#7 Oct 18, 2011
The girls are 10 and 12 now. They are getting old enough to take care of themselves a little bit. I have asked them if they would want to live with me but they don't want to leave their mother because she spoils them. I think the 12 year old could possibly change her mind because now that she is almost a teenager she sometimes has arguments with her mother.
agree

Cumby, TX

#8 Oct 18, 2011
Taken wrote:
Actually I'm a woman who has never had to ask for a dime for my kids but my husbands ex wants us to pay her when their kids I am raising comes once a month and they beg not to o then. She literally tells us where she took them and how broke she is and half the time doesn't even buy a Christmas present for them. So if you are a man and you can raise them in a better environment I'm happy for you but as far as me it ticks me off that so many women think a man owes them for kids and they use the money on themselves.
I totally agree with last part!!
My husband's ex just went and bought and brand spanking new car. She's a a part time waitress for crying out loud! Don't tell me you are giving that kid everything he needs when you're probably paying 100% of your payment with OUR money we have to give her slutty self! It is SO frustrating!! I would love to know away out too.
wow

United States

#9 Oct 19, 2011
Trifling people. Child support is cheap so stop complaining. If you have a new woman then that should be another income coming in to help raise them. She wanted you then she wants to help raise your kids as well. You should be putting back every extra dime you have for your girls. Get over it. If you have children surely you have a decent job that can afford them.
Sorry

Folsom, CA

#10 Oct 19, 2011
wow wrote:
Trifling people. Child support is cheap so stop complaining. If you have a new woman then that should be another income coming in to help raise them. She wanted you then she wants to help raise your kids as well. You should be putting back every extra dime you have for your girls. Get over it. If you have children surely you have a decent job that can afford them.
If that's the case then the mother is saying she basically doesn't feel like she should take care of her children at all and probably isn't If you feel they need the money then get off ur lazy butt and help with the kids instead of depending on the man to do it all. I hate begging trifling bitter women.
agree

Mckenzie, TN

#11 Oct 19, 2011
wow wrote:
Trifling people. Child support is cheap so stop complaining. If you have a new woman then that should be another income coming in to help raise them. She wanted you then she wants to help raise your kids as well. You should be putting back every extra dime you have for your girls. Get over it. If you have children surely you have a decent job that can afford them.
I agree this is trifling. I bet if he was getting child support he would want it! It sounds like him and the "new woman" think they can do a better job than the girls' mother. They are on an ego trip and cheap as hell!!!!!!!!
agree

Mckenzie, TN

#12 Oct 19, 2011
WhatYouThink wrote:
The girls are 10 and 12 now. They are getting old enough to take care of themselves a little bit. I have asked them if they would want to live with me but they don't want to leave their mother because she spoils them. I think the 12 year old could possibly change her mind because now that she is almost a teenager she sometimes has arguments with her mother.
"old enough to take care of themselves" ?? Is that the whole point in this? Did you want them with you when they had to be "taken care of"? Did you change diapers, feed them in the middle of the night, kiss their boo boos, help with homework? You sound like a lazy, cheap creep to me.
sorry

Folsom, CA

#13 Oct 19, 2011
I totally agree with him. I'm sick and tired of seeing all these mothers begging screaming and crying about how they can't buy their children a freaking candy bar but they are out every week at the bar buying new stuff and dressing better than their children. Some women need to quit being CRAZY and grow up. Your kids can see through you.
yeah but

United States

#14 Oct 19, 2011
wow wrote:
Trifling people. Child support is cheap so stop complaining. If you have a new woman then that should be another income coming in to help raise them. She wanted you then she wants to help raise your kids as well. You should be putting back every extra dime you have for your girls. Get over it. If you have children surely you have a decent job that can afford them.
Child support is CHEAP???!!! You are obviously a receiver of it! People like you piss me off. Why don't you get a job and have $600+ taken out a month ON TOP of providing for the kid every single thing!! You sound like an ignorant fool that needs to put your foot in your mouth!
LoveMakesTheWorl dGoRound

Mckenzie, TN

#15 Oct 19, 2011
Why don't the bickering parents realize they are only hurting their children? Hell its only money. Tell your children you love them every day, and they are more important than all the money in the world. I would starve myself and dress in burlap sacks before I put myself before my children.
Sorry

Folsom, CA

#16 Oct 20, 2011
People whosay it's only money dont and never have had to pay for anything. I hate CRAZY ex wives. And no I'm not a man I'm a woman who is sick of seeing lazy women make every excuse In the book to get a dollar
loser

Martin, TN

#17 Oct 25, 2011
somebody needs to ask nat about takin care of kids
Parents of Convenience

Murray, KY

#18 Oct 30, 2011
I'm a Father that has custody of my three children for 7 years now. I want to make myself clear that I am all in favor of Fathers stepping up to the plate and being the primary care giver for their children, however, I want what is best for all children. Fathers are now having more oppertunities than in the past, and thats a good thing!

Its not easy work. There's nothing CHEAP about it! When I do receive child support, it is the lowest amount that I have ever heard of someone having to pay per child. I have remarried now for a few years, but I spent most of my time with them doing this on my own. I worked a steady job with overtime, came home, did homework, housework, supper, bedtime stories and generally did not get in bed till 11PM at night, changed countless diapers in the middle of the night and was back up by 5A every morning getting ready for work and kids ready for daycare/school.

The State of TN now uses a formula based on each of your incomes and the respected time you each spend with them. It was put in place because of parents paying outrageous amounts of child support. I saw people paying $1000/mo have it lowered to $400. And it may be the case to where you can have the courts re-examine the situation. As far as I'm aware the change was granted to all non-custodial parents in Jan, 2005 when the bill went into law. Make sure your case meets this standard.

Judging someone is not always fair, but from what you've written, it seems like you are willing to do whatever it takes to gain custody of your children to keep from paying child support. You said the kids have a good mother. Maybe she doesn't have the unique sense of business you have, but that doesn't necessarily put you in position to prove your the best fit parent for them. I also seem to get the impression that this is a matter of convenience for you to be a full-time parent. Now the kids can tend to themselves... and you have help with the "new woman" getting supper on the table.
Its not uncommon for children to have random thoughts about going and living with the other parent, especially when they are exposed to different privalidges (many times 100% entertainment) and responsibilities at the other parent's home. That is exactly why a judge is put in place when parents cant work these things out.

My advise to you is make quality time with your kids when you have them. Show them the qualities you bring into the picture as a strong Father. Unless the mother suddenly stops providing a stable and safe environment for the the kids, stop building resentment and bitterness towards the mother.

Don't make this about you, make this about your kids!
Been There

Mckenzie, TN

#19 Oct 30, 2011
Parents of Convenience wrote:
I'm a Father that has custody of my three children for 7 years now. I want to make myself clear that I am all in favor of Fathers stepping up to the plate and being the primary care giver for their children, however, I want what is best for all children. Fathers are now having more oppertunities than in the past, and thats a good thing!
Its not easy work. There's nothing CHEAP about it! When I do receive child support, it is the lowest amount that I have ever heard of someone having to pay per child. I have remarried now for a few years, but I spent most of my time with them doing this on my own. I worked a steady job with overtime, came home, did homework, housework, supper, bedtime stories and generally did not get in bed till 11PM at night, changed countless diapers in the middle of the night and was back up by 5A every morning getting ready for work and kids ready for daycare/school.
The State of TN now uses a formula based on each of your incomes and the respected time you each spend with them. It was put in place because of parents paying outrageous amounts of child support. I saw people paying $1000/mo have it lowered to $400. And it may be the case to where you can have the courts re-examine the situation. As far as I'm aware the change was granted to all non-custodial parents in Jan, 2005 when the bill went into law. Make sure your case meets this standard.
Judging someone is not always fair, but from what you've written, it seems like you are willing to do whatever it takes to gain custody of your children to keep from paying child support. You said the kids have a good mother. Maybe she doesn't have the unique sense of business you have, but that doesn't necessarily put you in position to prove your the best fit parent for them. I also seem to get the impression that this is a matter of convenience for you to be a full-time parent. Now the kids can tend to themselves... and you have help with the "new woman" getting supper on the table.
Its not uncommon for children to have random thoughts about going and living with the other parent, especially when they are exposed to different privalidges (many times 100% entertainment) and responsibilities at the other parent's home. That is exactly why a judge is put in place when parents cant work these things out.
My advise to you is make quality time with your kids when you have them. Show them the qualities you bring into the picture as a strong Father. Unless the mother suddenly stops providing a stable and safe environment for the the kids, stop building resentment and bitterness towards the mother.
Don't make this about you, make this about your kids!
Thank you for your thougthful and insightful post. I have been the victim of a situation like this. Nothing is more painful, not only to the victimized parent, but also to the child, than to have a vengeful, greedy parent try to turn their child against the other parent for the sake of money. My ex only wanted the children after they could they were self sufficient, before that they only spent the night 3-4 times a year! What the spiteful parent doesn't realize is that it takes the child a long time to recover from this emotional abuse, but they do heal. And then the hate turns towards the abuser/blackmailer. If they truly love their children, they would never dream of doing something like this.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Gleason Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Who drives a yellow monte carlo 49 min 731Truth 13
bethany turnbow (Feb '11) 1 hr Oneoranother 61
Taking a dump 1 hr Derek Wilson 1
desperately need to find sunny... 2 hr livinglarge 3
Jessica Mitchell-Lemonds (May '13) 4 hr JESSICA LEMONDS 85
mark hubble 4 hr funny 1
desperately need to find sunny... 6 hr livinglarge 1
More from around the web

Gleason People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Personal Finance

Gleason Mortgages