Married Couples that never have children

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1 - 20 of 45 Comments Last updated Dec 6, 2012
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kimbro

United States

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#1
Oct 5, 2011
 
Has anyone noticed that married couples that never have children always seem to have the perks in life. They always drive the fancy cars, have the largest homes, take 50 vacations a year, have the nice clothes, etc. etc, even the ones that really don't have the greatest careers.

I have also heard that sometimes you have a better marriage without kids due to the problems you face while they are growing up. My divorce from my 1st husband was partially because of my kids, they were out of control and while my husband wanted to send them to boot camp, I thought I could handle them since I had serious drug problems as a child and my parents were there for me, this was the reason my marriage failed was because of our different parenting styles.

Even though the advantages of never having kids and being able to have more money and luxuries seems appealing, I still wouldn't trade my life for anything. I have a good relationship with my adult children now and they are clean and sober, I would rather have kids with problems than be like these people that go around with all the wealth and no family.
Colleen

Glasgow, KY

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#2
Oct 5, 2011
 
I'd like to be married, but I don't want to bring more kids into this world! Trouble is, most of the good men want kids. Ones who don't usually want a career/working woman, and I don't care about the luxuries or wealth, I just want a man who can support me and love me. I don't need all that other crap that people usually use to take the place of love.
Clementine

Glasgow, KY

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#3
Oct 5, 2011
 

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I am one of those childless couples with all the perks. We all make our choices in life. I have absolutely no regrets. I was not wired to be a parent.
Childless

Glasgow, KY

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#4
Oct 5, 2011
 
I wanted children but it was not to be, now that I am older I do enjoy the perks of being childless. It does have a down side to.

Since: Apr 08

Glasgow, Kentucky

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#6
Oct 5, 2011
 

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Clementine wrote:
I am one of those childless couples with all the perks. We all make our choices in life. I have absolutely no regrets. I was not wired to be a parent.
I agree, I could have written this post! Some of us just aren't meant to be parents, and we know it!
children

Glasgow, KY

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#7
Oct 5, 2011
 

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Go to McDonalds on a Saturday afternoon and tell me how many kids you want.(Ha)

Since: Oct 09

Hart County, KY.

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#8
Oct 5, 2011
 
Colleen wrote:
I'd like to be married, but I don't want to bring more kids into this world! Trouble is, most of the good men want kids. Ones who don't usually want a career/working woman, and I don't care about the luxuries or wealth, I just want a man who can support me and love me. I don't need all that other crap that people usually use to take the place of love.
Wow!! I've always found things to be the same, too- the good housewife stay-at-home types are always the ones who want kids...and I never did. Where were you when I was younger?!

I dated this girl once, and she was a real sweetheart- I could have gotten serious about her- but she wanted kids SO bad... She said she'd do without them to have me...but I couldn't do that to her. She'd be miserable...and would have ended up making me miserable,'cause she probably would've resented me for not gtiving her kids.

I never could seem to meet all those infertile girls ya always hear of...only the guys who want lots of kids seem to meet them!
Empty Nest

Glasgow, KY

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#9
Oct 6, 2011
 
We also fall into that catagory with not having kids. I came from a fairly large family so I'm able to enjoy my nieces and nephews and return them when we have had enough enjoyment. The wife and I decided, before we got married, that we would sacrifice the kids for a better lifestyle, more freedom, independence and not having to worry about about what this world is going to be in the future. We are both educated professionals and both continue to work so we can retire at 55, very comfortablely. Everything we have is paid off and we are working on a second home for retirement in Florida. The part that surprises us is everyone tells us how much we are missing but then talk behind our backs about our lifestyle! If kids are so great, everyone should feel sorry for us and all we are missing! All our friends have kids and with the drug problems and constant headaches they face....I wouldn't trade places for all the money in the world.
Janie

Glasgow, KY

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#10
Oct 7, 2011
 
Empty Nest wrote:
We also fall into that catagory with not having kids. I came from a fairly large family so I'm able to enjoy my nieces and nephews and return them when we have had enough enjoyment. The wife and I decided, before we got married, that we would sacrifice the kids for a better lifestyle, more freedom, independence and not having to worry about about what this world is going to be in the future. We are both educated professionals and both continue to work so we can retire at 55, very comfortablely. Everything we have is paid off and we are working on a second home for retirement in Florida. The part that surprises us is everyone tells us how much we are missing but then talk behind our backs about our lifestyle! If kids are so great, everyone should feel sorry for us and all we are missing! All our friends have kids and with the drug problems and constant headaches they face....I wouldn't trade places for all the money in the world.
I'm in the same boat with you but we are just in our late 30's. Most of our friends have kids that drive them crazy. Why does everyone push you to have kids and call you selfish if you choose not to? I personally don't want kids because of all the headaches and expense my brother caused for my parents. I always resented how much they spent on him to keep him out of trouble and that came directly out of my inheritance. My husband doesn't want kids for the same reasons you have described. We recently started telling people that we have tried but I'm just not able. Now people talk to us about adoption. What's the deal?
Abc

Glasgow, KY

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#11
Oct 7, 2011
 

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I recently had my first child and wouldn't trade her for the world. I know some people that don't want kids and that is fine for them. To each their own... I don't think people should be criticized if they don't want kids because it is just a personal choice.
I think there could be plus sides to both.
(By the way, LOVE that this post has no bashing yet - I was kind of expecting it. lol)
Lovin Life

Glasgow, KY

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#12
Oct 7, 2011
 
Being in my early 40s and just now having children in my life, I've experienced both sides. To each their own, but since my life partner and myself adopted 2 beautiful children last year, our life seems more complete.
maple

United States

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#13
Oct 7, 2011
 

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The biggest downside to not having kids is when your about 65+ years old and your own parents are gone and you see all your other friends and associates with the adult kids and grandkids especially during the holidays would be tough to take, you don't think about it in your 30s, but you don't stay young forever, and most of the time adult children are the only ones there for you when you get old, there are so many advantages and disadvantages to each side.

Since: Oct 09

Hart County, KY.

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#14
Oct 7, 2011
 

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maple wrote:
The biggest downside to not having kids is when your about 65+ years old and your own parents are gone and you see all your other friends and associates with the adult kids and grandkids especially during the holidays would be tough to take, you don't think about it in your 30s, but you don't stay young forever, and most of the time adult children are the only ones there for you when you get old, there are so many advantages and disadvantages to each side.
Actually, seeing the crap that many people have to put up with from their adult children, and the grandkids, are another reason I never wanted kids. You're right though...I'll be all alone before too long....but hey, at least I've had a good life all these years.

I see a lot of older people anyway, whose kids only bother with them once or twice a year...or when they need money. Then they shove them in a nursing home when they get old and feeble- so it's a crap-shoot, even if you do have kids- but you do bring up a valid point.
Clementine

Glasgow, KY

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#15
Oct 8, 2011
 
maple wrote:
The biggest downside to not having kids is when your about 65+ years old and your own parents are gone and you see all your other friends and associates with the adult kids and grandkids especially during the holidays would be tough to take, you don't think about it in your 30s, but you don't stay young forever, and most of the time adult children are the only ones there for you when you get old, there are so many advantages and disadvantages to each side.
Being in this age group, I think I can qualify to comment. This does not hold true for me. I have no regrets and I do not feel badly at all around holidays when friends are surrounded by children and grandchildren.

Some childless people celebrate holidays differently that families do. For ourselves, we love quiet times, do not care to be around large groups of people.

Not all adult children take care of their parents when they are older either. Some stick them in a nursing home and forget them. I can name some in my own family who did this. so having children to take care of you in your old age is not a sure thing.
Empty Nest

Glasgow, KY

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#16
Oct 8, 2011
 

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maple wrote:
The biggest downside to not having kids is when your about 65+ years old and your own parents are gone and you see all your other friends and associates with the adult kids and grandkids especially during the holidays would be tough to take, you don't think about it in your 30s, but you don't stay young forever, and most of the time adult children are the only ones there for you when you get old, there are so many advantages and disadvantages to each side.
I'm the only child that lifted a finger to help my parents as they got older! We were the ones with no kids and plenty of cash. LOL! I promise you that kids are not the answer to assisted living. We have gone overseas the last few years and are usually swimming on Christmas and New Years Day. This is our gift to each other so we do very little shopping other than for nieces and nephews. I've never been that big on Christmas since I was a kid. Actually the rest of our siblings get mad because their kids want to go to the Caribbean with us. We always email them a picture on Christmas day of us swimming. We've yet to find a disadvantage to us not having kids. Please don't feel sorry for us as we knew exactly what we were doing!
Curious

Glasgow, KY

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#17
Oct 8, 2011
 

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Lovin Life wrote:
Being in my early 40s and just now having children in my life, I've experienced both sides. To each their own, but since my life partner and myself adopted 2 beautiful children last year, our life seems more complete.
Does life partner mean you are a Queer?

Since: Aug 10

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#18
Oct 8, 2011
 

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Curious wrote:
<quoted text>
Does life partner mean you are a Queer?
lol yes it does...
Wrong

Glasgow, KY

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#19
Oct 8, 2011
 
I don't know about this situation; but having a life partner doesn't mean you're gay. Lot's of people get married without the states permission. In other words, the state doesn't recognize the marriage. Personally, I don't think the government has any role in a marriage.

Since: Oct 09

Hart County, KY.

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#20
Oct 8, 2011
 
Wrong wrote:
I don't know about this situation; but having a life partner doesn't mean you're gay. Lot's of people get married without the states permission. In other words, the state doesn't recognize the marriage. Personally, I don't think the government has any role in a marriage.
I agree with what you say there- If I ever got married, I would not do so with a state marriage license- but rather through a private covenant. But I wouldn't call my spouse my "life partner"- I'd call her my wife.(I like "wife"; "Husband"- they're gender-specific. "partner" could be anything....man, woman or donkey!)
Question

Elizabethtown, KY

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#21
Oct 8, 2011
 
Why is it anyone's business if a couple has kids or not? We don't have kids mostly due to the cost but partly because the kids now a days even with good parents are idiots. They all want everything handed to them and think if they are made to work it is torture. I would rather put my time and energy into slapping these parents for allowing this to happen.

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