Spouse's spending has us broke

Posted in the Glasgow Forum

Runaway

Glasgow, KY

#1 Nov 4, 2012
It is making me hate him! Help....
The resentment...piling up. Love is there, but scared. We don't qualify for government assistance and I'm tired of being hungry. The kids too. He spends on cigarettes, cokes, snacks and eating out while we're at home not spending and with little nutrition. He doesn't want me to work, but won't stop this. He is working multiple jobs and never home to compensate, but still spends. He has spent so much he has credit card debt and just maxed out mine without asking. All our money is going towards his spending or payments to his debt. I love him, but I don't know what to do anymore...
my opinion

San Jose, CA

#2 Nov 4, 2012
Why did you get knocked up by an immature selfish idiot to begin with? The women of this town are disgusting they spread their legs for any good ole farmboy that says "yer sher ar a cutie lil miss". And unless you are a Mormon then you can go out and get a job, you chose not to. Nobody cares about your whining, get your ass up and go to work. And no the government should not have to give you welfare because you made dumb decisions.
Dave Ramsey

Glasgow, KY

#3 Nov 4, 2012
I don't know about a town this size but in larger cities such as Louisville you can get free financial counseling. You might ask at your bank if anything is available here. I do think you have to do something as you can't go on this way. Your husband needs help to control spending since he obviously can't do it on his own.

Now that I have said that---you say he doesn't want you to work. You are an adult over 18 right? He doesn't control what you do. Get a job and start saving your own money. You are going to need it if he won't change.
Runaway

Glasgow, KY

#4 Nov 4, 2012
my opinion wrote:
Why did you get knocked up by an immature selfish idiot to begin with? The women of this town are disgusting they spread their legs for any good ole farmboy that says "yer sher ar a cutie lil miss". And unless you are a Mormon then you can go out and get a job, you chose not to. Nobody cares about your whining, get your ass up and go to work. And no the government should not have to give you welfare because you made dumb decisions.
He wasn't always like this. Seriously. How dare you presume to insult me. Didn't work, but I'm glad you feel better. You feel it's ok that one spouse eats out and spends while the Wife and kids are hungry at home? If I too was spending and was contributing to the broke issue, then I could see your argument regarding my employment or 'whining'. He expected me to do my 'job' and provide for the house and kids, but yet doesn't provide our bills all paid on time or maintain food. Real sexist of you to see nothing wrong there...whether I work or not is not the issue. His excessive spending and how to help him is. I have tried to get a job, but he gets angry and has ruined my attempts more than once.
Dave Ramsey

Glasgow, KY

#5 Nov 4, 2012
You say: I have tried to get a job, but he gets angry and has ruined my attempts more than once.

Honey, you have way bigger problems that his spending if he is sabotaging your efforts to improve the situation.
Runaway

Glasgow, KY

#6 Nov 4, 2012
Dave Ramsey wrote:
You say: I have tried to get a job, but he gets angry and has ruined my attempts more than once.

Honey, you have way bigger problems that his spending if he is sabotaging your efforts to improve the situation.
I know. That's why I'm scared and what fueled my posting the situation since I can't discuss it with my friends or family because it may get back to him. I just want him to stop spending...or atleast allow me to help or provide some income for us myself. It's his pride. He treats me like a '50's housewife'.
Dave Ramsey

Glasgow, KY

#7 Nov 4, 2012
Runaway wrote:
<quoted text>
I know. That's why I'm scared and what fueled my posting the situation since I can't discuss it with my friends or family because it may get back to him. I just want him to stop spending...or atleast allow me to help or provide some income for us myself. It's his pride. He treats me like a '50's housewife'.
This situation is not going to improve on its own. It will only get worse. You need to find a counselor immediately who can help you sort through this. This is more than a financial problem.
Runaway

Glasgow, KY

#8 Nov 4, 2012
Dave Ramsey wrote:
<quoted text>This situation is not going to improve on its own. It will only get worse. You need to find a counselor immediately who can help you sort through this. This is more than a financial problem.
I agree with you. Yet without the funds, what can I do? If I just knew why maybe I could help him until we could set aside some money to go. I'm willing to try anything at this point. I'd prefer to save my marriage, but I just don't know anymore if it's worth it...
wait

Glasgow, KY

#9 Nov 4, 2012
my opinion wrote:
Why did you get knocked up by an immature selfish idiot to begin with? The women of this town are disgusting they spread their legs for any good ole farmboy that says "yer sher ar a cutie lil miss".
Excuse me? It takes two to tango dude. If only men weren't such wolves.
please

Glasgow, KY

#11 Nov 4, 2012
Do what a real woman would. Cut his debit card, hold the check book, and give him a cash allowance. Even when i stayed home this is how it was. I am in charge of the finances. He has a banking app that keeps him up to date on the balance and i keep him up to date and what has been spent and where. It works well. And if he refuses to stop the behavior, i wouldn't consider him a husband. A husband provides for his wife and family....not piss every penny away before his babies eat. Wtf.
Thinking person

Glasgow, KY

#12 Nov 4, 2012
TO add to what the above person said, a real husband doesn't treat his wife like you describe.
tocavewoman

Glasgow, KY

#13 Nov 9, 2012
Runaway wrote:
<quoted text>
He wasn't always like this. Seriously. How dare you presume to insult me. Didn't work, but I'm glad you feel better. You feel it's ok that one spouse eats out and spends while the Wife and kids are hungry at home? If I too was spending and was contributing to the broke issue, then I could see your argument regarding my employment or 'whining'. He expected me to do my 'job' and provide for the house and kids, but yet doesn't provide our bills all paid on time or maintain food. Real sexist of you to see nothing wrong there...whether I work or not is not the issue. His excessive spending and how to help him is. I have tried to get a job, but he gets angry and has ruined my attempts more than once.
If my ids was hhungry i would get a job. are you a wife or a slave. Do you gots to do what he wants? That's crazy. get a job get an apartment feed your yougans and leave his sorry tail. Theres no excuse for a ma n who doesn't keep his children feed and no excuse for you letting it go on. Put your kids upfor adoption if you can't get a job
tocavewoman

Glasgow, KY

#14 Nov 9, 2012
i know what Ms. bobitt would do
find help

Glasgow, KY

#15 Nov 10, 2012
He is controlling you! While he is gone, which seems like most of the time. You must find a way to reach some help. You have to do what you can for your children and yourself. Do you have a car? A phone? A phonebook? You must have a computer. Find some help! You can search and find anything. Topix is not the place. Too many come in here and are obnoxious. You shouldn't have to be hungry. We have no idea your children's ages. In school? Think! Find some help! At this point you'll have to do this behind his back it seems. Been going on too long, if he has been stopping you trying to get a job. I repeat; He is controlling you, and that is wrong!

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