Trying to get help for disabled grandson

Trying to get help for disabled grandson

Posted in the Gate City Forum

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Teresa Cope

Charlottesville, VA

#1 Dec 7, 2012
I've had nightmarish encounters with child study committee since my grandson started at Shoemaker.
Three people in particular have gone out of their way to try to make me feel intimidated, ignorant and lower that an amoeba. Their names are Brenda Robinette, Stacey Wood, and Katrina Smith Toole. I am wondering if anyone else has had problems with these folks. My email address is [email protected] I would appreciate any input that a parent or anyone literate about the "system" can give me. Especially the parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, and Oppositional Defiance. I thought the school system was in place to help our children. Unfortunately, I've learned the hard way that they need a push to do their job description. Thank you.
pissed off

Concord, NC

#4 Jan 6, 2013
Doesnt your kid havei that same condition thta kid up in Connecticut had and went crazy and killed all of those 18 kids at that elem school?
concerned

Concord, NC

#5 Jan 6, 2013
If your child has the same diagnosis they should be placed in an institution. No wonder our school system is concerned.
pissed off

Concord, NC

#6 Jan 6, 2013
Lady your kid doesn't need to be in our schools. They need to be somewhere where they cant hurt our kids. I got 2 going to Hilton's and i don't need to have any worries about your kid showing up with a gun to kill mine.
Someone

Johnson City, TN

#7 Jan 6, 2013
My brother has ADHD and opp defiance and he doesn't have a mean bone in his body! But through out school he never got much help besides with reading and writing in elementary school....
concerned

Concord, NC

#8 Jan 6, 2013
Yeah thats what they said about the kid in Conn too. Then one day he decided to kill 18 children. No these children need to be in an institution not our schools. Im sure some of these special needs kids are probably doped up on drugs and having hallucinations. We dont need them near normal children. They will eventually hurt someone. They arent normal
concerned as well

Concord, NC

#9 Jan 6, 2013
Dear Mrs. Cope. I feel sorry for you because you have a problem. Your child is not normal and has a serious condition. So severe that you are probably in denial. You want what's best for your child. All parents do. You want your child to be normal and demand the best our schools have. You want them to provide special ed teachers and special classes to teach your child.so what if it costs me a tax payer alot of money. And when your child, who has so many conditions doesn't learn its not his fault its the schools and you intend to make sure they tow the line. You admit they are not normal and never will be. On top of that there is a possibility that they are a danger to themselves and others around them. But damn my child and all the other children that go to your child's school they don't matter. Well i hate to rain on your parade but to me my child matters. Your child could possibly hurt mine and i don't feel that you have a grasp of the situation. You're wanting to blame the school. You've chosen to post your concerns publicly so ill post my response. It's not the schools fault its your child's condition that causing them problems. But you already know that. My advice take your child to an institution quit blaming school officials. I don't see a problem with the school. I see you as the problem. My child is normal and they could get killed or hurt around yours. And if a teacher must stop teaching to take care of your child then your child just interfered with my child's education and i don't like that. I and the twenty other parents who have normal kids in the class should sue you for forcing our school to have your disabled child in a regular class creating havoc. But its not your fault huh? I'm sure that's what some special needs parent is saying in Conn too. Your child doesn't belong here. Please go. Nothing personal but i want my child to have a good education and a long life. I don't want them hurt by your child. I wish you the best but you don't belong here..
Thinking out loud

United States

#10 Jan 7, 2013
This woman comes forward looking for advice. She found a community that scorns her . Not all children with a illness is a threat to others . Not all crime envolve the ill . The factor of drugs was not the issue . She is a guardian that seeks advice . What is wrong with that ? Some children as well as adults have lived a quote normal life but understand even those have had some life changing issue that made their lives somewhat the same as what this child in question may be facing . As for tax dollars paying for " everything" ... Honestly does every one with a problem in their life naturally have to be unemployed ? Face the facts ladies and gents .... Life can be tough for us all... Do you want to be treated the same as this lady if ever you need advice ? Think long and hard about your life and choices you make . Take the proper steps in protecting your children . Please do not lay blame on other children because of anothers actions . If that's the case we all are guilty . Be strong for your selves and your neighbors. God bless you all
Tacos

Duffield, VA

#11 Jan 7, 2013
Wow, really?
From the past

Johnson City, TN

#12 Jan 7, 2013
My only concern is if this child has been mainstreamed back into the regular classroom and the problems that he presents to the other students by his demands that take away form the other students. I don't feel that these students should be placed into the regular classroom becasue of the constant demand that they require. When their demands take away from the other student than the other students' rights are violated.
what normal

Kingsport, TN

#13 Jan 7, 2013
I feel your pain and your frustration. Having a child with disabilities is harder than most anything a parent or guardian can deal with. It takes a special person to raise and care for a child with disabilities. The system – and I mean the whole system not just the schools- seem to be only for the “normal. Every life is a gift, but not every life is “normal”. Normal lives are relatively easy and really don’t take much parenting or care outside of providing the “normal” things. Most any of us can do this. To really be challenged as a parent or guardian, be one to a special needs child. Today’s world is built for the smartest, the fastest, and the prettiest and for the most popular. Not for the one who maybe can’t walk or can’t talk and express what they feel or think. Or for someone can’t see or hear. Or for someone can’t stay focused and be attentive or for someone because of their disability can’t do much of anything “normal”. But to the ones that really care for these people with disabilities, they see the love that is there. There is love in a simple pat on the back or a deep look into your eyes. I can only imagine it’s like looking at the face of God and Him showing his great love to you in a very simple jester. This is something a parent of a “normal” child will never experience.
As for your dealings with some members the school system- I can only tell you something my grandfather said:“Just because you have the right tools for the job still don’t make you skilled tradesman”. You have to have the knowledge and the love for the job. There are a few in the school system who really have the skills and the love it takes to work with special needs children. The rest it’s just a job.
To CONCERNED, PISSED OFF and CONCERNED AS WELL, you don’t have a clue and I really feel sorry for you. I hope you have a Blessed and ‘Normal” life.
speak out

Charlottesville, VA

#14 Jan 10, 2013
Teresa Cope wrote:
I've had nightmarish encounters with child study committee since my grandson started at Shoemaker.
Three people in particular have gone out of their way to try to make me feel intimidated, ignorant and lower that an amoeba. Their names are Brenda Robinette, Stacey Wood, and Katrina Smith Toole. I am wondering if anyone else has had problems with these folks. My email address is [email protected] I would appreciate any input that a parent or anyone literate about the "system" can give me. Especially the parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, and Oppositional Defiance. I thought the school system was in place to help our children. Unfortunately, I've learned the hard way that they need a push to do their job description. Thank you.
go to the school board meeting and tell them he needs help , he has rights you have to fight for him , I am a mom that knows.
concerned

Wadesboro, NC

#15 Jan 14, 2013
what normal wrote:
I feel your pain and your frustration. Having a child with disabilities is harder than most anything a parent or guardian can deal with. It takes a special person to raise and care for a child with disabilities. The system – and I mean the whole system not just the schools- seem to be only for the “normal. Every life is a gift, but not every life is “normal”. Normal lives are relatively easy and really don’t take much parenting or care outside of providing the “normal” things. Most any of us can do this. To really be challenged as a parent or guardian, be one to a special needs child. Today’s world is built for the smartest, the fastest, and the prettiest and for the most popular. Not for the one who maybe can’t walk or can’t talk and express what they feel or think. Or for someone can’t see or hear. Or for someone can’t stay focused and be attentive or for someone because of their disability can’t do much of anything “normal”. But to the ones that really care for these people with disabilities, they see the love that is there. There is love in a simple pat on the back or a deep look into your eyes. I can only imagine it’s like looking at the face of God and Him showing his great love to you in a very simple jester. This is something a parent of a “normal” child will never experience.
As for your dealings with some members the school system- I can only tell you something my grandfather said:“Just because you have the right tools for the job still don’t make you skilled tradesman”. You have to have the knowledge and the love for the job. There are a few in the school system who really have the skills and the love it takes to work with special needs children. The rest it’s just a job.
To CONCERNED, PISSED OFF and CONCERNED AS WELL, you don’t have a clue and I really feel sorry for you. I hope you have a Blessed and ‘Normal” life.
you know im sure that in the land of make believe everyone can live in harmony but that's not the case.... in my opinion while you're telling me to have a blessed day somewhere in America one of these "children with needs" will go to a reg school pull out a gun and kill 20 people and think they are playing a video game. Are you going to tell them to have a normal blessed day over their dead child? They aren't normal and wont be normal. As far as rights are concerned if they aren't a threat and can function within reason and don't interfere with another child's education then that's fine. However, if they interfere with another students learning environment so much so that the other child cant learn or display characteristics of a psycho they need to go....and go quick...im not about to allow a parent to gamble with the life of my child because they believe the world should tend to their needs and no one elses...have a blessed day yourself.
pissed off

Wadesboro, NC

#16 Jan 14, 2013
speak out wrote:
<quoted text>go to the school board meeting and tell them he needs help , he has rights you have to fight for him , I am a mom that knows.
how about the other 28 kids in the class that this kids disturbs? Don't they have rights?
what normal

Fayetteville, NC

#17 Jan 15, 2013
There's parents all over the world and yes even in little section of it that make difficult decisions. Parents expecting a new little baby. They go for a check-up in the early stage of the pregnancy. After an exam and ultra sound or any number of test, the doctor determines ther child is not "normal". What do they do, how do they make such a decisions? To keep or to terminate. Do you think for one second they consider the child's future classmates? Hope thier child won't grow up to disturb the learning environment. Absolutely not!! They will keep this child for no other reason than love. They have loved this child since finding out it existence. Some people on this forum has no conscience. Just get rid of the " not normal". They distract from my kid. Keep them away from my kid. What kind of person ate you? If you have the power to predict what a person will do in the future, the FBI has a job for you. This woman needs help, not blasted for having a "not normal" child. Be considerate, be kind, and love all God creations. He doesn't make mistakes.
pissed off

Concord, NC

#18 Jan 15, 2013
Your right God doesn't make mistakes. He made all of us including animals. He made the lion, and the elephant. He also made rats, and snakes, and spiders...as far as people go, not everyone can become a teacher,policeman, fireman, lawyer or even a dr. Others become orange grove pickers, farmers, or janitors, i think alot of these become village idiots who waves their penis at traffic. As you say God makes no mistakes...so well give up our guns because their child will use one to kill the rest of ours thinking they are playing a game. Our kids will tolerate their constant yelling in class everyday every 5 mn because their rights are more important. After all, my taxes will support his brain damaged drooling head for the next 50 yrs. He will also require constant supervision to make sure he wont pick up a sharp instrument and stab someone. They'll put a leash on him to make sure he stays on the sidewalk and nit run out in front of traffic. Yep what a life...
concerned

Concord, NC

#19 Jan 15, 2013
Look on the bright side "pissed off". He will be our very own special village idiot selected by God himself.
z guy

Concord, NC

#20 Jan 15, 2013
You all realize that what normal and thinking out loud are the same person. Probably mrs cope herself.
what normal

Kingsport, TN

#21 Jan 15, 2013
Wrong again.....Life must be tough not knowing or even having a clue about life.This is my last post to such thoughtless and insenitive people. Have a great "normal" life.....
concerned

Charlotte, NC

#23 Jan 15, 2013
You could always take your child to Sandy Hooks elem in Conn. Im sure they'd agree with your philosophy of these special needs kids being mainstreamed with their reg children.

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