Since forged and altered judgments, as well as the scrubbing of public records to purify our politically powerful scoundrels*, are in vogue and all the rage these days we certainly would consider the forgery of an official Judgment of Disbarment as our official fixers from Statesville, Sammie A. Cathey, Fritz Mercer of Charlotte, and Eddie Clontz of Asheville, have done, nunc pro tunc. All of you who are interested in such a fix and/or forgery may tender proposed findings of fact and conclusions of law, together with the proposed judgment, by sending us email:

forgeries -at- ncbar.com

http://www.ncbar.com/

*We are pleased to announce that politically powerful lawyers in our membership, such as NC State Bar Head, B. E. "Bobby" James, have had their bar disciplinary records scrubbed in order to alter the public perceptions of great men. Just by way of example, but not by way of limitation, in one such act of revisionism Hon. Ronald K. Payne was scrubbed shortly before his robing ceremony as his violation by conspiring with Attorney William C. Frue to secretly graft himself and Attorney Frue onto an attorney-client contract for corrupt gain in a Texas tort action for wrongful death was not considered to be of such sufficient moral turpitude as to disqualify this righteous man from serving as a Superior Court Judge, or of being constantly embarrassed by the memories and sanctions for these isolated acts of greed, conspiracy, and moral failure. We are indeed certain that the intense displeasure and embarrassment of having to return the ill-gotten gain, i. e., disgorge the large 6-figure fees, to the victims was punishment enough for the learned judge.

Another alteration we have performed at minimal cost to the recipient is a scrubbing of the record of delinquency in the payment of official NC Bar dues in order to maintain a deadbeat, such as Terry Sanford, in good standing with the Official North Carolina State Bar. As you have heard it said before, all persons are equal but some are more equal than others.

If any of you, particularly those of you with special rank and/or standing, have worthy proposals for the scrubbing, alterations, and/or forgeries of our official records you are invited to submit recommendations, as the opportunity for special graces and/or favors, slashed prices, under-the-table discounts, and Christmas specials will expire on December 23 at 1700 hours.

M. Keith Japp, President
North Carolina State Bar
Raleigh, North Carolina

"The North Carolina State Bar is a secret society officially recognized as such by the Supreme Court of North Carolina."
M. Keith Japp, President
Attest: L. Thomas Loinsfard II Secretary/Treasurer