Why do I have warts on my ass?

[Arnie Dripwad]

This is a community site isn't it? I sure hope so, I hope that some medical people are reading it and stuff; you know like doctors and nurses and folks like that.
Here's my problem; a couple of weeks ago I was looking at my ass in the mirror and it covered cheek to cheek with humongous warts. Does anybody know what causes that?
Could having sex with a duck make warts show up all over your butt?
That's what my brother told me but I don't believe it. Anyway let me know if you have a clue.
I'm desperate. Also does anyone know of a cure? It hurts to sit on them, that's for sure.

[Sid Goldstein]

Arnie Dripwad wrote:

This is a community site isn't it? I sure hope so, I hope that some medical people are reading it and stuff; you know like doctors and nurses and folks like that.
Here's my problem; a couple of weeks ago I was looking at my ass in the mirror and it covered cheek to cheek with humongous warts. Does anybody know what causes that?
Could having sex with a duck make warts show up all over your butt?
That's what my brother told me but I don't believe it. Anyway let me know if you have a clue.
I'm desperate. Also does anyone know of a cure? It hurts to sit on them, that's for sure.

Hey, thanks for writing in. I thought I was the only person with this problem. My ass is covered with warts, big ones, little ones, fat ones, skinny ones...warts, warts, warts!!!
I've tried to cut them off, burn them off, I even caught about a dozen toads and rubbed them all over my ass then stuffed them up my bung; nothing helps.
This is a real problem, if anybody out there knows of a cure please write in. This is important!

[Janet]

Not alone! I hope that's good. I've got a big, long, wart on my left butt-cheek. I've had warts removed before, but it was years ago. Can I just cut it off with a sterile knife? Will it bleed? It hurts to sit down, and I have to have a bad-aid on it.

[Arnie Dripwad]

Janet wrote:

Not alone! I hope that's good. I've got a big, long, wart on my left butt-cheek. I've had warts removed before, but it was years ago. Can I just cut it off with a sterile knife? Will it bleed? It hurts to sit down, and I have to have a bad-aid on it.

Uh, Janet...hi and stuff. Man I'd hate to have you do anything that would hurt your awesome, smooth, round, delectible ass like cut into it or something.
I've had like medical training and stuff, I mean I watch doctor and medical shows on TV all the time and can put on a band aid real good and stuff....anyway I would be willing to examine the wart on that luscious and delectable moon of yours...trust me; I have no purient interest in your "fun" wagon, I only want to help in a pure humanitarian way; of course.
Let me know PLEASE!!!!