Husband always accuses me of cheating

Husband always accuses me of cheating

Posted in the Frankfort Forum

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tired

Frankfort, KY

#1 Dec 19, 2011
My incredibly insecure husband is always accusing me of cheating on him just because his ex wife cheated on him and left him for another man. Every single time I come home from work, shopping, etc. he makes some weird comment that I was probably out having sex with some guy and he will try to laugh it off like he's joking but I can tell he's serious. I am so sick of it. It has gotten so bad that I use it against him when we argue which ends up making him think I'm cheating on him even more. How do you convince an insanely insecure person that you are not and will not cheat on them?
Hahaha

Shelbyville, KY

#2 Dec 19, 2011
Becuz u are cheating

“A Generic User”

Since: Jan 10

Another Person on the Internet

#3 Dec 20, 2011
tired wrote:
My incredibly insecure husband is always accusing me of cheating on him just because his ex wife cheated on him and left him for another man. Every single time I come home from work, shopping, etc. he makes some weird comment that I was probably out having sex with some guy and he will try to laugh it off like he's joking but I can tell he's serious. I am so sick of it. It has gotten so bad that I use it against him when we argue which ends up making him think I'm cheating on him even more. How do you convince an insanely insecure person that you are not and will not cheat on them?
Well are you any good looking? Just curious...
Miss Bea

United States

#4 Dec 20, 2011
tired wrote:
My incredibly insecure husband is always accusing me of cheating on him just because his ex wife cheated on him and left him for another man. Every single time I come home from work, shopping, etc. he makes some weird comment that I was probably out having sex with some guy and he will try to laugh it off like he's joking but I can tell he's serious. I am so sick of it. It has gotten so bad that I use it against him when we argue which ends up making him think I'm cheating on him even more. How do you convince an insanely insecure person that you are not and will not cheat on them?
You both need therpy, if he wont go then go by yourself. this will wear you down. Nobody can take being accused of something they didn't do very long. Take him with you, call him as your shopping so he can hear the background noise and know where you're at. Ask a friend or family member to go with you. but be prepared for him to still think the worse. Somethings can't be changed. Hate to ask, do you ask him where he has been ever minute of the day? Some who accuse all the time are really the guilty ones. If you love this man, you're going to have to prove that all women are not scume and that is a tiring job. It wears on one's nerves to have to prove theirself everyday. When you argue, stop if you're both talking because nobody is listening. Don't fall into the trap of defending youself everytime you go someplace. He can always go, if he choses not to, don't let him badger you when you get home. But let it be his decission if he doesn't wont to go.
the truth

Birmingham, AL

#5 Dec 20, 2011
Well quit cheatin bitttch
Miss Bea

United States

#6 Dec 20, 2011
the truth wrote:
Well quit cheatin bitttch
How do you know she is cheating? Maybe he is. Maybe neither one is.
The green eye monster will consume you like cancer and destroy the ones you love. You have your nerve...Really, It's people like you that make the green eye monster real. Quit it!!!!!
seen it before

Lexington, KY

#7 Dec 20, 2011
My ex wife was extremely jealous and acted much like your husband. Come to find out after we divorced she was screwing around all over town. Maybe you husband figures the best defense is a good offense. Maybe you need to look into where he spends his free time.
Rime

Birmingham, AL

#8 Dec 20, 2011
tired wrote:
My incredibly insecure husband is always accusing me of cheating on him just because his ex wife cheated on him and left him for another man. Every single time I come home from work, shopping, etc. he makes some weird comment that I was probably out having sex with some guy and he will try to laugh it off like he's joking but I can tell he's serious. I am so sick of it. It has gotten so bad that I use it against him when we argue which ends up making him think I'm cheating on him even more. I How do you convince an insanely insecure person that you are not and will not cheat on them?
. I was always told the acuser is the one who is the one who is cheating . So if I was you I would be watching how he acts and what he does. Cause people who cheat start to feel guilty an they figure if they accuse another I may make them look like the innoscent one . Sokeep ur eyes open . And tell him the accuser is normally the one who is doing the cheatin a see what he comes back with .
Move On

Frankfort, KY

#9 Dec 20, 2011
Rime wrote:
<quoted text>. I was always told the acuser is the one who is the one who is cheating . So if I was you I would be watching how he acts and what he does. Cause people who cheat start to feel guilty an they figure if they accuse another I may make them look like the innoscent one . Sokeep ur eyes open . And tell him the accuser is normally the one who is doing the cheatin a see what he comes back with .
Thats stupid! You are only hearing one side of the story here & I can guarentee you that there is more to the story.
Maybe this poster will enlighten us to the REAL story. Like HOW LONG she is out shopping & who all she is REALLY CHATTING with on the phones. She wont though.
Miss Bea

United States

#10 Dec 21, 2011
tired wrote:
My incredibly insecure husband is always accusing me of cheating on him just because his ex wife cheated on him and left him for another man. Every single time I come home from work, shopping, etc. he makes some weird comment that I was probably out having sex with some guy and he will try to laugh it off like he's joking but I can tell he's serious. I am so sick of it. It has gotten so bad that I use it against him when we argue which ends up making him think I'm cheating on him even more. How do you convince an insanely insecure person that you are not and will not cheat on them?
You could turn it around on him. Take a drive from your house to all the places he likes to visit. Each time he leaves, log the mileage on his auto and check it when he gets back. If there is a difference in what you have down ask him where else he went. Time the trips, did he take to much time, tell hime to drop those drawers and smell of them to see if he has had sex while he was gone. He will grow tired of this. Either way, he needs help with his insecurity because the problem is his not yours. And what gives him the right to judge every woman by his first wife. Maybe he done her the same way!
Vinnie V

Birmingham, AL

#11 Dec 21, 2011
Miss Bea wrote:
<quoted text>You could turn it around on him. Take a drive from your house to all the places he likes to visit. Each time he leaves, log the mileage on his auto and check it when he gets back. If there is a difference in what you have down ask him where else he went. Time the trips, did he take to much time, tell hime to drop those drawers and smell of them to see if he has had sex while he was gone. He will grow tired of this. Either way, he needs help with his insecurity because the problem is his not yours. And what gives him the right to judge every woman by his first wife. Maybe he done her the same way!
Nope. He won't grow tired of this. He will secretly enjoy this. I bet his jealous behavior did not start with his ex wife. I bet his jealous behavior CAUSED his ex to cheat. All the guys that I know who have the ridiculous jealousy thing have mother issues. Usually their mother cheated on their father. Your husband will always be the jealous type. I have never seen anyone get over it. I have friends who are crazy jealous, and I have lost respect for them, because they never change.
Miss Bea

United States

#12 Dec 21, 2011
Hahaha wrote:
Becuz u are cheating
And you know this because.....
Reecie

Deridder, LA

#13 Dec 21, 2011
I am having the same issues with my husband. he is very insecure and its taking a toll on our marriage. i've been doing some research and it says you have to be patient with him and reassure him constantly that you love him and aren't cheating. it says this process can take weeks, months or years but eventually their insecurity will lessen. i am literally exhausted with my husband and don't know how much longer i can do this. its the same conversation everyday....him questioning me and me swearing to him that i'm faithful. i don't believe in cheating, when i took vows i meant them. I'm a stay at home mom of 3 kids ages 6, 4 and 2mos...i mean seriously when would i have the time lol. the first 6mos of our relationship were perfect!! i thanked God everyday for sending me such a great man to me and my oldest two children(they're from my first marriage). He changed overnite...In my first marriage i was cheated on and abused repeatedly so u would think that i would be the insecure one... my current husband has never been married so i don't understand where all of his insecurity comes from. i just want the man i met, fell in love with and married back!!!!
Wondering

Frankfort, KY

#14 Dec 21, 2011
Miss Bea wrote:
<quoted text>
tell hime to drop those drawers and smell of them to see if he has had sex while he was gone.
I didn't know you could tell by sniffing underwear. How long did it take for you to make this discovery? Is there a certain smell other than ass that you smell for?
Vinnie V

Toledo, OH

#15 Dec 21, 2011
Wondering wrote:
<quoted text>I didn't know you could tell by sniffing underwear. How long did it take for you to make this discovery? Is there a certain smell other than ass that you smell for?
I'm telling you: it is mama issues.
Miss Bea

United States

#16 Dec 21, 2011
Wondering wrote:
<quoted text>
I didn't know you could tell by sniffing underwear. How long did it take for you to make this discovery? Is there a certain smell other than ass that you smell for?
The suggestions are some that a neighbor does when his wife comes home. I told her to drive to Wal-mart (he has mileage to ever store in Frankfort) and jack the car up and let it set there and run. She has family that works there so her alibi would be tight.
If you get to that point you need to give it up or maybe he just likes to smell undies.
JBJ

Frankfort, KY

#17 Dec 21, 2011
He needs therapy. Sometimes when people are cheated on, it does do permanent/semi-permanent damage to their ability to trust their lovers.
I once dated a girl that was 'overly' friendly and this caused a lot of unfounded suspicion....plus, I was told she cheated in a few relationships before ours.
It will not stop

Magee, MS

#18 Dec 21, 2011
It will not stop he might let up some but once they start they never stop. And yes it has alot to do with mommy issues
Naw

Frankfort, KY

#19 Dec 21, 2011
It will not stop wrote:
It will not stop he might let up some but once they start they never stop. And yes it has alot to do with mommy issues
There is no way to know that, Sigmund Freud.
WTF

Frankfort, KY

#20 Dec 21, 2011
Move On wrote:
<quoted text>Thats stupid! You are only hearing one side of the story here & I can guarentee you that there is more to the story.
Maybe this poster will enlighten us to the REAL story. Like HOW LONG she is out shopping & who all she is REALLY CHATTING with on the phones. She wont though.
lmao what? Really?? You have given this WAY too much thought. You sound just as nuts as her husband! Newsflash! Going shopping and going to work are a normal part of human life and a person should not have to constantly check in with their spouse because they are doing something as normal as shopping! If a person doesn't trust you that much they should just file for divorce instead of constantly accusing you of cheating like a crazy person. Good grief! I am so sick of psychotic, insecure assholes... much like you "Move On".
Think about it, why would someone ask for advice anonymously on a public website if they are the ones cheating?! Ugh, people in this town are nuts! Especially the jealous crazy men!

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