Out of the picture

There are 6 comments on the Chicago Tribune story from Jan 27, 2008, titled Out of the picture. In it, Chicago Tribune reports that:

Since Rudy Giuliani stepped into the presidential race in 2006, his children, ages 17 and 21, have been noticeably absent from his campaign.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Chicago Tribune.

Sandra

Quincy, IL

#1 Jan 27, 2008
Forgiveness heals all kinds of wounds between people: relatives, friends, coworkers. It is amazing. I don't believe that forgiveness is a choice if we also want the choice of having a good life ourselves. Forgiveness is a necessity. Unforgiveness hurts me and the person/s involved. Unforgiveness is my decision that I will drink the poison, but the people who hurt me will die. Unforgiveness is my death, while those who are guilty freely go on living their lives. I haven't found it worth the while to trouble myself with unforgiveness. No matter what, through the grace of Jesus Christ, I forgive others right away--no, no, I make the decision to forgive others right away-- so that others will forgive me when I make errors.
iowasown

Lisle, IL

#2 Jan 27, 2008
I have been through a situation such as the one in the story. I was estranged from my family for 12 years, caused by a divorce and guilt. I missed my parent's deaths, nine of my eleven grandchildren being born, three marraiges of my children and other events with my brother, sister and their families. It wasn't until I was treated for major depression that I could realize the guilt was not warranted and that I hadn't been a failure as a father. A therapist and medication helped me before it was completely too late to ever have the family back and she was truly a godsend. I have remarried and have a new family {stepdaughters and stepsons all adults} and, although my real family is spread to four other states feel very close to all of them. I believe the first stop when having suffering this fate is to see a therapist---although I was too stubborn to do this until my depression came close to costing me my job. There is always help available but you have to want to accept it.
iowasown
aghhhhhhhh

Fairport, NY

#3 Jan 28, 2008
Excellent article. I think that the lack of comments is an indicator of the difficulty, pain, and shame surrounding this topic. I,too,have been through cut-off but for reasons not covered in this article. The death of both of my parents at an early age caused my family to break apart. My three brothers went their separate ways. Today one is an alcoholic, another is a reclusive artist who lives abroad and the third is married with children but has cut me off from his family and children. The pain cannot be expressed. I thank God for my wonderful wife and little son.
Cynthia

Plano, TX

#4 Jan 28, 2008
My son relocated from PA to TX and there was little contact. Out of the blue he would call, rarely, but it was always the wife talking. Truth be told, I wanted to talk to my son, not his wife. This went on for years. Then there was a pregnancy. I was not at all excited by this news since the wife has a sister with two children, both of whom have genetic disabilities. When I first learned of this I suggested genetic counseling which my son and his wife did not get. Due to my lack of excitement over the pregnancy all communication ceased. A few weeks later she miscarried the baby. That was 2-3 years ago. She is now pregnant yet again, although I found out via the grapevine. And, no, they opted NOT to have genetic counseling. I consider this extremely foolish and dangerous. Sometimes it is easier to let the rift remain than try to patch it up. Had we patched it up over the earlier pregnancy, we would be right back at square one with THIS pregnancy. I am not elated.
chigal

United States

#5 Jan 28, 2008
This article refers to "healing the cutoff" as if the only path to healing is to bring everyone back together.

When abuse (physical or emotional) is involved, the healing often occurs as a result of the "cutoff." Separating oneself from one's abusers is a very healthy step. Healing a family rift, as if that's more important than healing the individual, just perpetuates the problem of abuse.

Quit blaming the victim. Getting away from those who hold you down is step one toward reclaiming control over your life and moving on to greener pastures. You can forgive them from a distance, without forcing yourself to continue to endure their pathological behavior. You deserve better.
jjrg7

Raleigh, NC

#6 Jan 28, 2008
Cynthia, if you were not excited about your sons pregnancy because his wife's sister had children with genetic disabilities its no wonder your son does not want to talk to you. Concern or worry might be one thing, but not any excitement just demonstrates shallowness. A child does not have to be perfect to be wanted and loved.

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