Looking at improving child support rates

Q Child support is not being paid, and our children are suffering. This is a huge issue for all single parents. Full Story
Sue

Broomfield, CO

#67 Mar 4, 2008
QUOTE who="Wilberforce" And even for those real "deadbeats", why are we so quick to approve of punitive measures against these fathers, instead of seeking ways to encourage their involvement?)
Such a great point Wilberforce - what good does any of the above so called "punishments" do? If they can't drive, they can't work. If they can't work, they can't help support financially! If in jail, where is the logic?? So silly and it makes no sense. My little fella's bio was nailed with child support - and again it was for such an astronomical amount that I laughed my butt off. So we ignored the court order for 2 years. He helped pay daycare for those two years - and helped buy clothes and toys, etc. Then he just disappeared when my little one turned 3. I went to get day care assistance - that is when Social Services figured out there was no child support. I was denied assistance because had I been receiving the child support, I wouldn't need any assistance. Well in all fairness I wouldn't of paid it either! It was court ordered at $654.00 per month for one child!! Outrageous!!- but the social service department refused to lower the amount "until" they tracked him down and he started to pay faithfully. They did not find him - until last fall ('07). They "seized" his savings account in Oregon.
He truely is a "deadbeat" dad - but it is such a shame that all are thrown in the same category. I don't know why the bio took off and I may never know. I do know that when and if my little fella ever wants to find him - I will help him. I sooo agree with you Wilberforce that it is not about the money, so why does the system make child support out of reach for so many? Again, so silly and it must be soo frustrating! Great statistics and comments, very informative! Have a great day!
Wilberforce

United States

#68 Mar 4, 2008
Dor sucks

Imagine... imagine that during a divorce... the judge says to both parties... I am ordering mediation between the two of you whereby you will come to a reasonable agreement on the welfare of your child(ren) and the court shall not interfere in these proceedings unless an agreement can't be reached. If no agreement can be reached then it's mandated 50/50 shared and equal custody whereby both parties are ordered to care for their child equally both financially and in parenting time. Then we can come up with some sort of accountability system that strongly encourages both parents to do their part... e.g. she/he can sue the other parent if they don't fulfill the obligations. Either way you do it... you weed out the real dads/moms from the deadbeats... imagine that THEN if the parent takes off there is absolutely NO excuse and the other party can pursue a settlement just as any other debt might be owed..ergo.. take them to court and prove how they haven't kept up their end... ANY SYSTEM is better then than the CURRENT black collar family law system... family law is ripe for the overhaul..everyone knows it... do you?
DOR SUCKS wrote:
<quoted text>
This is totally false. When was this book written 1802? It is soo out of touch with reality. Listen deadbeat dads are fathers who is not in the childrens lives in any form weather it be financial or physical....he is not there..that is a DEADBEAT!!
I wish the father would do one of the above examples. The men don't want involvement at all..and they definately aren't trying to make any type of arrangements with the custodal parent they are hiding ducking the support agency. Yes, I applaud having their license revoked or suspended, wages garnished and imprisoned. Trade places with a mom and then come back and talke to me.
You need to remember that it's the mother that is up at night nursing the sick one, taking them to school, playing both roles mother and father. I wish I could get at least one of the examples done from my children's father.
You are living in a world that is only exist to you, everyone else is in this surreal world. And to let you know, the laws should apply to both deadbeat men and women. Yes, there are women out there who isn't paying the support ordered and they should receive the same treatment as the men. Equal rights for both deadbeats. i don't have any sympathy for either when they are doing wrong. Absent parents seem to forget that it is not about the person receiving the money it is about the children, pure and simple
Wilberforce

United States

#69 Mar 4, 2008
so sad Sue... poor little one... hopefully you can find a good man to help fill in the void... if not, then perhaps an uncle or brother... someone who can offer a male role and participate in the little ones life...

:(
Sue wrote:
QUOTE who="Wilberforce" And even for those real "deadbeats", why are we so quick to approve of punitive measures against these fathers, instead of seeking ways to encourage their involvement?)
Such a great point Wilberforce - what good does any of the above so called "punishments" do? If they can't drive, they can't work. If they can't work, they can't help support financially! If in jail, where is the logic?? So silly and it makes no sense. My little fella's bio was nailed with child support - and again it was for such an astronomical amount that I laughed my butt off. So we ignored the court order for 2 years. He helped pay daycare for those two years - and helped buy clothes and toys, etc. Then he just disappeared when my little one turned 3. I went to get day care assistance - that is when Social Services figured out there was no child support. I was denied assistance because had I been receiving the child support, I wouldn't need any assistance. Well in all fairness I wouldn't of paid it either! It was court ordered at $654.00 per month for one child!! Outrageous!!- but the social service department refused to lower the amount "until" they tracked him down and he started to pay faithfully. They did not find him - until last fall ('07). They "seized" his savings account in Oregon.
He truely is a "deadbeat" dad - but it is such a shame that all are thrown in the same category. I don't know why the bio took off and I may never know. I do know that when and if my little fella ever wants to find him - I will help him. I sooo agree with you Wilberforce that it is not about the money, so why does the system make child support out of reach for so many? Again, so silly and it must be soo frustrating! Great statistics and comments, very informative! Have a great day!

“Dir BooneCountyFathe rs.Org”

Since: Mar 07

Lebanon, IN

#70 Mar 5, 2008
Statistics show that not only is there more compliance with child support payment orders but the children are better off emotionally and developmentally when parents have equal custody.
Children should not be treated as assets to be bought and sold or divided as the courts do. Money is not support. It even declares that by statute in Indiana.
indianasharedparenting.org
No kids yet

West Palm Beach, FL

#71 Mar 11, 2008
It always strikes me when the woman gets her way here in Fl yet the man has no say. I have a family member who is in this child support situation and the woman is always looking for money even though his obligation is satisfied on the involuntary agreement made by another. She can never seem to get to her percentage she owes. It seems as though she is always in an ever threatning mode cycle. It is an unjustified 18 year + sentence on any man. Why would any young man want to get married and have kids if this is what he faces when things don't work out. It takes two to tango, it should be an even split. Period.
Will Clarks

Sri Lanka

#72 Mar 12, 2008
Lets talk about the strong arm approach that Child Support Enforcement takes on collecting money ? If one can not afford a lawyer to answer them, which most don't have when they can not pay their support. Fathers are at the mercy of Child Support. It seems like most people feel that Fathers that are behind are millionaires that support their lavish lifestyle. With just a little bit of research one will find that most are blue-collar works who are struggling to make ends meet.Malicious Mom's with baby mama drama know that the system works with them not the father. But lets not kid one-another, the whole system is a money making machine. The "DOR", the call center in Tallahassee, the local office's around the State, the courts,and last but not least the lawyers.. This is a business ! And as a father paying your support, you have no right what-so-ever to ask where you money is spent that you pay. What all these fathers going around killing judges and ex-wifes, it should tell you that it is a system that needs an over-haul.
Veteran

AOL

#73 Mar 25, 2008
Im a Disabled Veteran who can barely make it with my home bills let alone the medical bills piled up. Yet you are bashing me left and right because I cant afford to pay child support on time? The worst part is that the mother whos remarried both make over 40 grand each, live and a huge brand new home, drive a BMW and a Hummer H2 plus also have 2 other cars, a boat, 2 jetskies, and much more. Yet you claim im the one who needs to pay out my butt to help this child? The child even stated to the judge that he doenst need my money. They have everything, I have nothing. You need to rethink all these bogus laws bashing parents who cant afford to pay ridiculas amounts that you make up. If you would stop spending billions and billions on billbaords, case worker saleries, made up government agencies, among other stupid ways to waste money, You could afford to help the kids without child support laws. Tell me this also, How is taking someones license from them making it so they can pay? I lost my job due to my injuries while in the Army. Now you morons take my license and now I have to bum a ride to the Doctors. Are you all stupid or what?
Roe vs Wade

AOL

#74 Mar 25, 2008
You have Roe vs Wade providing Women the choice to have a kid or not.
Where is the Roe vs Wade for Men? If a man doens't want a child, he cant have an abortion or adoption. He is stuck with child support for life. But if the woman doesnt want th kid, she can terminate or adopt it out with or without the mans say.
Where is the equall rights here?
If the man or woman wants the kid, then they should support it. BUT if they dont, stop making them pay for someone elses choice in life.
Yes it takes two to make the kid. But it should also take TWO to decide wether or not to be a part of the kids life and to pay or not.

Since: Nov 07

Miami, FL

#75 Mar 26, 2008
Roe vs Wade wrote:
You have Roe vs Wade providing Women the choice to have a kid or not.
Where is the Roe vs Wade for Men? If a man doens't want a child, he cant have an abortion or adoption. He is stuck with child support for life. But if the woman doesnt want th kid, she can terminate or adopt it out with or without the mans say.
Where is the equall rights here?
If the man or woman wants the kid, then they should support it. BUT if they dont, stop making them pay for someone elses choice in life.
Yes it takes two to make the kid. But it should also take TWO to decide wether or not to be a part of the kids life and to pay or not.
Your comment is unworkable. I have never seen a more bogus, unfair system in my life. I have been a part of it. I paid support for 14 years until my child came to live with me. Now their mother pays me nothing. She gives them money directly and I have no problem with it. This is just a symptom of a much larger illness. All of the liberals and beauracrats advance the idea that we need the govt to take care of us and our solve all our problems for us.
Javier

Ramsey, NJ

#76 Mar 28, 2008
To the Person that said Duh to Bubba how can you say that. He is talking about how he loves his kids and he cannot be with them. He tells you all the horror stories we Dads without kids go through and your worried about the wife!!!!!! have some brains before you post a comment, and some respect put your self in someone elses shoes don't give advice based on your experience.
Robert Gartner

Lauderdale, MS

#77 Apr 6, 2008
In the formulations and mental machinations of ideas for support of children certain additional pieces need note by governments. First there are those who will make babies just because they can. They know the Gov will seek out the father and make him pay. Aren't there several things seriously wrong with such a scenario? So the Gov teaches and indoctrinates certain women to make babies indiscriminately; and these children will never have a dad.
Hence the Gov too in this scenario ignores the subversion done against fathers, ignores the destruction of these children by thier mothers.

But how quick are we to talk about monetary child support. And all around you are teens getting pregnant, juvenile delinquents roaming the streets, and fathers committing suicide.

Taxpayers should be demanding why the Gov has not waken up!
Need Relief in Florida

Sanderson, FL

#78 Apr 19, 2008
Living is not something I can afford. I have 3 girls....2 by a marriage and 1 by a brief encounter. I pay $650 for the 2 girls per month and $625 for the 1 per month. That's $1275 monthly when I gross $30,000 annually. I have a truck payment, insurance, phone, loan payment (to keep from going to jail), and it's discouraging!! The system doesn't take into consideration all my children to determine a fair rate. I can't rent, pay utilities, groceries, clothing, and birthday and Christmas for my girls and live. It's discouraging but you can't beat the system. What do I do....I can't afford to live and am going further in debt each day!! HELP!!

Since: Nov 07

Miami, FL

#79 Apr 21, 2008
Need Relief in Florida wrote:
Living is not something I can afford. I have 3 girls....2 by a marriage and 1 by a brief encounter. I pay $650 for the 2 girls per month and $625 for the 1 per month. That's $1275 monthly when I gross $30,000 annually. I have a truck payment, insurance, phone, loan payment (to keep from going to jail), and it's discouraging!! The system doesn't take into consideration all my children to determine a fair rate. I can't rent, pay utilities, groceries, clothing, and birthday and Christmas for my girls and live. It's discouraging but you can't beat the system. What do I do....I can't afford to live and am going further in debt each day!! HELP!!
Don't be a victim all your life. Get yourself a lawyer and go for adjjustment of your child support obligations. By law you can be made to pay more than 50% of your net income. If your making thirty your not bringing home more than 2K a month.$1275 is more than half. As you go for modification try to equalize the amount you pay for all three. While the cases are seperate, unless your have a big fat arrearage $625 for 1 is excessive and I KNOW you can have that lowered. Use the system, if not to your advantage but to minimize your disadvantage. Why not, it's being used against you.

Lastly, keep your head up, your kids need you.
evonwlls

AOL

#80 Apr 26, 2008
The state let my child support get $40,000 behind. They have always known where the father is and every job he works. He walks into the support office with a suspended license and walks out with a license without paying anything. I think the state should have to pay some of that money to me and then maybe they would try harder on getting paid back. It seems they do on AFDC cases, but not on court ordered cases. He has never been to jail for it and missed many hearings they never did anything about but set another hearing and I would have to miss work every month to show up in court for nothing. I think they need to take a good long look at cases that are that far behind and put them in a harder punishment category.
evonwlls

AOL

#81 Apr 26, 2008
My ex brings home a $3000.00 pay check every two weeks. He always had the children (3) girls when he wanted them. Every weekend, holiday and in the summer. He would take them to his parents and leave most of the time. My children are 24,21,18 now and only the youngest one has anything to do with him. He would show them his wallet full of money and had a different woman with him every time he picked them up. Still does this. He recently showed my daughter his new razor phone, lap top and 18 wheeler he bought. The two oldest girls remmeber momma scrapping for change for lunch and I have to remember the days when they had last school years ragged shoes to wear to school on the first day of school the following year. These memories still hurt. To this very day when ever I recieve a check for the $40,000 in back support I spend it on my kids with getting them new clothes or helping them with a bill. Two of them are marride and have places of there own, the youngest one lives at home still so yes she gets her cut too. Millionairs come on people, you really just want to leave it all up to the mother? of course some of you do. Make her struggle to raise the children so he can be a saint, poor guys what a shame you would have to help raise your children.
amber demarest

Gilbert, AZ

#82 Jul 11, 2008
I think that any man with children would pay there child support if it was more reasonable and if the mother spent the child support on the children and not nails hair and cell phones and then live off the state whilen men cant even get insurence because you cant claim child support but yet the lazy mothers get housing food stamps health care and an unreasonable amount of child support but ya your intrest is in the children !!!
not important

Saint Marys, GA

#83 Jul 30, 2008
The system in Florida is as messed up as it can be. Some dads do take care of their responsiblity but because they are in the system they get treated like dead beat dads and noone seems to care about their rights. My fiance is a great dad, he pays his child support every month, the state does not have to track him down but they have his arrears amount wrong, we have proof of how it is wrong and every payment he has ever made but noone will help us to get this corrected. NOONE, We have sent several letters to several differnt departments, I could list them all but it isn't neccessary. It isn't right that just becasue a dad is the system he should be treated like a piece of crap that doesn't matter. He shouldn't have to nor should his credit suffer when he does his part. I am tired of every dad that is in the system being viewed as a deadbeat dad that does not matter. It isn't always the case.....
amanda

Gloucester, VA

#84 Aug 8, 2008
You aren't the only one with these problems. And there are so many fathers that report this. And nothing is done. Maybe all the dads can file a Class Action lawsuit and get some reform.
Bubba wrote:
(continued) Each time, it's another $3,500.00 to $5,000.00, wait at least 90 days for a hearing, and during this time the kids hearts are broken, your heart is ripped to shreds, and nothing is done to favor the Fathers situation except to suspend his Drivers License when he doesn't pay support. Now it gets more interesting, She starts dating a BSO...All of a sudden your employer calls you in as after you left your office a couple of Deputies come in and start asking questions. Mind you, you haven't done anything wrong, they're just ruining your reputation as a favor to your ex's new fling. You have health insurance cards for your kids, but out of spite, when she takes them to the Doctor, she puts the bill in your name, never presents the cards, and the bill goes unpaid screwing the Doctor, the Father, and the money spent on health insurance is for naught...Now time goes buy, you haven't seen you kids, they're brainwashed to call someone else "Daddy", and this is a system that is fair? She has the kids, the Deputy brings the Law down on you for even trying to locate where they live or go to school, and years go by with the kids eventually becoming very jaded towards their father. During this time, Christmas presents are thrown away without the children even knowing they were sent, School Programs and Holidays take place without the support, love, and presence of their real father, and the children grow up wounded to the core of their very beginnings because their vindictive, screwed up mother, has used them as weapons, unfairly, while the Father waits for that knock on the door, taking him away to the equivalant of Debtors Prison while someone scrambles to pay money for support of children you have unlawfully been prevented from seeing due to the unscrupulous tactics of a slimy divorce lawyer, a jerk-off BSO Deputy, and a woman who goes through life pretending to be "so Religious" when all she is is a screwed up ****...Yep, Gov Christ, put my face on a bill board...I'll buy one across the street from Hollywood Christian Academy so everyone can know what she really is!
amanda

Gloucester, VA

#85 Aug 8, 2008
My husbands has been paying child support for years, they take tax refunds from "my children" they took my stimulus check, given to us because of "my children" and now they just emptied my bank account, leaving my children with nothing, no way to eat, no way to pay the light bill. The dept of child support only cares about beating there chest, not about any children. The ones recieving child support or the ones that they take food out of there mouths.
amber demarest wrote:
I think that any man with children would pay there child support if it was more reasonable and if the mother spent the child support on the children and not nails hair and cell phones and then live off the state whilen men cant even get insurence because you cant claim child support but yet the lazy mothers get housing food stamps health care and an unreasonable amount of child support but ya your intrest is in the children !!!
Uh Oh

West Palm Beach, FL

#86 Aug 22, 2008
Sounds like Deb is getting screwed. Another mad woman. Such bias against fathers. No wonder these guys don't want to pay, what for. 90% goes to the woman for what? the kid. yea right. Thank goodness I'm not involved in that racket. Poor Guys.

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