help

Owensboro, KY

#1 Nov 4, 2012
So my husband has been diagnosed with PTSD/tbi about 4 years ago, although he's had it for the past 6 years. He's been out of the military for 3 years now, and it just seems to be getting worse. He has done some many bad things to me and our marriage, we even split up for 2 years and then got back together again for another 2 years and we have separated again, only its been about 4 months now. We have a 4 year old together. The last few months have been hard, he left becuz he said I couldn't understand, but I've been trying, even offered to go to appts with him. The last 2 weeks, he's been coming around, seeing me and our son. Then said he wanted to spend the weekend with us, and I waited all weekend, he wouldn't return my calls. I haven't heard from him in 2 days. One minute he says he wants us to work this out, the next he ignores me. It's a vicious cycle. and my heart can't seem to take it anymore. He needs some help, he has let the PTSD take over his life and he is about to lose everything. We have been married for almost 10 years. What do I do? How do I get him to get help. even if not for me or himself, but for his son who loves him.
Mike

Wake Forest, NC

#2 Jan 21, 2013
help,
I also suffer from PTSD. It is a horrible illness. Get him to the VA and ensure the importance of him getting the proper treatment and taking the right meds is instilled into his head. I woke up one night choking my wife, I have hit her when having nightmares, you name it, I did it, except cheat on her. My prayers are with you. It takes him to admit he has an illness. Please understnad that not much approved treatment is approved for it. He does not understnad how bad it is.
Sincere

Tucson, AZ

#3 Feb 15, 2013
When we marry a soldier, somewhere in the back of our mind we have to know that at some point they will deploy. When this happens, while we are desperate to get them back home safe in our arms, we also have to realize the importance of our role in supporting them and be strong enough to do it. This means knowing ahead of time that PTSD is possible and being armed ahead of time with knowledge and avenues to go to for help.

Find a reputable counselor that specializes in PTSD. And start the process for counseling yourself. This can help you find ways to cope and support him. Mike is right as well...your husband might not understand the importance of consistent treatment and he has to get to the point that he does. The counselor can help you with this as well.

Also, please share with him that he is NOT alone in this. Many soldiers come back from deployment and suffer from PTSD. He may be feeling as if the social stigma attached to this will make him look weak to his battle buddies. He may feel alone in this. He may be feeling that as a soldier he has to be stronger than the average man and should deal with this on his own. Please share with him that despite social stigma, it takes a STRONGER man to admit there is an issue and seek help than one who does not. Bring him to topix if you have to, and let him read that there are those of us who support him in prayer and heart even though we have no idea who he is. We support him in his time of need. We support him in his quest for getting help. We know what he is going through, and HE IS NOT ALONE!!!

To you the wife...remain strong and vigilant.

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