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Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#1 Feb 25, 2011
Cut your commute time in half just by changing your car horn to sound like gunfire.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#2 Feb 25, 2011
Don't put all your eggs in one basket, put all of them in the fridge and they will last longer.

“My mind....”

Since: Jul 09

was a terrible thing to waste

#3 Feb 26, 2011
You can save gas money by moving closer to your workplace.

(scientific studies have shown this)

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#4 Feb 26, 2011
Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#5 Feb 26, 2011
INEXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT: When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!" "I won!" "3rd time this week!"

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#6 Feb 26, 2011
4/3 of Americans have trouble with fractions.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#7 Feb 26, 2011
Save on electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#8 Feb 27, 2011
When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?".

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#9 Feb 27, 2011
If you describe your relationship status as, "It's complicated", you should just go ahead and declare yourself as "single".
teen mom

United States

#10 Feb 28, 2011
If you have sex at random, side effects could include:

in men;
sexually transmitted diseases;
loss of spouse;
stains on clothing;
9 months of getting bitched at;
18 years of child support;
nausea;
loss of penis;
loss of social life;
loss of any gf after that;s

Womens` may include:
std`s;
nausea;
pain;
suffering;
vomiting;
swollen feet;
growth of fetus;
9 months of hell;
18 years of excuses;
18 years of baby daddy hoes;
varied hours of excruciating pain;
nervous breakdown;
charges of Murder in the First Degree;
thoughts of becoming a lesbian;
hatred of men;
loss of sex life;
alcoholism;
loosening of vaginal walls;
weight gain;

If you experienced any symptom not listed, please call your doctor immediately.

In case of overdose, tell your partner that it will be $200 for your services and they should flee. If not, call local athorities.

If your a woman and are over the age of 40, this might make you seem desperate.
If you are nursing, pregnant or could become pregnant, do not participate YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

If you are under 18 and your partner is not, you are recommended to stop.

If you are over 18 and your partner is not, you are recommended to leave the area fast. Authorities and parents may be called. This could result in incarcaration or death.

Any person who is considering a one night stand should carefully read the instructions and side effects. If you are disapproving of any symptom possible, you should not participate in the event.

WARNING; alcohol may intensify these effects!

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#11 Feb 28, 2011
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#12 Mar 1, 2011
Raisin Bran can be improved by adding two scoops of Fruit Loops.

“My mind....”

Since: Jul 09

was a terrible thing to waste

#13 Mar 1, 2011
This thread sucks.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#14 Mar 1, 2011
Jim Beam goes well with ice because Jim Beam is improved by anything thatÂ’s not Jim Beam.

“My mind....”

Since: Jul 09

was a terrible thing to waste

#15 Mar 1, 2011
Still sucks.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#16 Mar 2, 2011
Contrary to popular belief, God's surname is not damnit!

“My mind....”

Since: Jul 09

was a terrible thing to waste

#17 Mar 2, 2011
Sucking worse.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#18 Mar 2, 2011
I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.

Left Brain Thinker

“I don't need no stinkin job.”

Since: May 09

Topix Bar and Grill

#19 Mar 2, 2011
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

“Let's talk to each other:”

Since: Apr 10

NOT about each other!

#20 Mar 2, 2011
Left Brain Thinker wrote:
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
For sure, unless you want to take a chance on becoming food for a purse or a pair of boots.

Good tip.

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