Crismess Coming Soon
Posted in the Forest City Forum
#1 Oct 10, 2008
To all law enfarcement in my Cownty >> Rullerferd.
Time to let all the buggulars get to work to help recirclate proppity. Be on the watchout for Snap-On Tools and them little two hunnert doller LED flashlites the pilots carry in there cokpits -- we love them here in the sherrif departmint. Sammy the Weasel and the boys in the deteggadivs office loves them too. Watch out and take dew cawshon for seral numbers or anthing that mite bee an idenifying sine.
Yore High Sherrif,
Jack "Jowls" Conner
In the tradition of Dan Good, Damon Husky, and Larnce Brown
#2 Oct 15, 2008
Wow, I love your sense of humour. It's funny and true. You would be a great local stand up act. Imagine that!
#3 Oct 15, 2008
You make me homesick for good ole rulferd!
#4 Oct 16, 2008
Don't try to make a lafingstock of his portly majistie the high sherrif we will come to Burk Cownty and extrydite you. We allways suspind our rools of ethicks for good cause shone.
Sammy the Weasel, Cheef Deteggadiv (X) his mark
#5 Oct 16, 2008
Hyer yee! Hyeer Yee! Hyeer Yee!
His rowyull hinies, Jerry Brewer, plentypotenshary high clerk of the superor court of Rullerferd Cownty, and longsufering soopervizer of the corthous hurd of countless angry indolent wimmen and their lookrative copy machine
Hyerbye Anounces the Folering:
Whurazz, certain unrooly and ungreatfull crime victums of our cownty and whereabouts unknowed has protested with nasty apperances, durdy looks, leters, fawn calls and other sed dissrepeckfull deevices and holering, awl of which sorely irtated our hafwit Debidy Dufus Dee:
Whurazz, the buggulars Waters and Fisher have sent in another five dollers (won at craps) from one and thity eigt dollers (parttime laber relabbeling botles) from the other and
Whurazz, the said monies should be sujick to distribbushun to the whinny victums forthwith and not as preevusly rooled to go to the jaler &prohibition oficers or the sherif for eleckshun day lickquers,
It Is Hyerbye Ordered that our esteamed bankrupped Wachovie Bank in Farced Citty dishburse accorionly in propshun to our secritt formala aplide in Rolly by the Amisstrative Ofices of the Corts.
Herein fale not!
/Sined and selled/ Jerry Brewer (X) His Mark
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