Chicago parents in crisis: Extended child care proves a godsend

In a desperate but loving attempt to get their lives on track, Samer and Yvette Assaf handed their children to strangers nine days ago. Full Story
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Ocean56

AOL

#109 Dec 5, 2009
Chris wrote:
<quoted text>
oh, well in that case let's just leave them out there to fail and to raise criminals, rather than helping get their lives in line so they can raise healthy, productive children. yeah, your bitter approach is MUCH better.
Strange; I read Cubbie's post differently. Maybe this couple should have waited a few years before HAVING these children. Like at least five or six years, perhaps, when they had more education and job experience behind them.

Yes, it is very lucky for them and their kids that this extended child care was available. If they had waited longer to HAVE those kids, it might not have been necessary at all.
Ocean56

AOL

#110 Dec 5, 2009
Think Twice wrote:
<quoted text>
My thoughts exactly. There seems to be a mindset today that you can be irresponsible and someone else will pick up the pieces when reality strikes. I grew up poor, joined the military to pay for college, got my MBA and THEN had children. I have no extended family but I waited until I had my own Plan B before having children.
Think twice people.
Agreed. By the age of nineteen, I'd gotten my high school diploma, gone through and passed vocational school, had just accepted my first job, and gotten a very small apartment on my own. I didn't become a parent until long after that, when I had lots of job experience and new technology skills that my company paid for with in-house job training.

All that wouldn't have been possible if I'd been knocked up at 17. Thank goodness I avoided sexual relationships until I could pay for my own birth control.
Ocean56

AOL

#111 Dec 5, 2009
Independent Voter Joliet wrote:
<quoted text>
One thing that should be mentioned here is MOST young people DON'T know just how much work raising a kid is.. that is the fault of the parents.. I am a firm believer that kids of BOTH sexes should be required to babysit.. or work in a daycare nothing like a little reality to make them think twice.. 8 hours a day taking care of kids when they are 15-16 just might make them realize what being a parent is like.. although the person who went into the military also had the right idea, epically for boys it gives an idea of what it takes to HAVE to do things they don't want to do when they want to do them.. it also makes them learn to make their own beds, wash clothes etc. so they will applicative of the work that goes into helping out at home..
I'd definitely support the policy of requiring high school students to volunteer at day care centers as part of their education after school during the week. It doesn't have to be that long, just two to four hours each week.

I think that would be enough to help teenagers see how hard taking care of children really is. That kind of exposure could help them make the wise choice NOT to have sex for quite some time, until they complete their high school and vocational/college educations at least. Since sex can and does lead to pregnancy, the more teens who avoid it for practical reasons, the better.
Ocean56

AOL

#112 Dec 5, 2009
WOW wrote:
cubbie wrote, "While intelligent hardworking people are putting off having kids to improve their education and work hard at their careers..."
Sure, until they discover they've squandered their fertile years working and studying and then must cirlcle the globe in desperation for an infant to call their "own" (at a price tag of 20-50k, but hey, we give tax subsidies for adoption - but no one complains about adoptive families getting a handout, do they?)
Waiting until the perfect time arrives for children (when is the time ever perfect?) is driving corruption in adoption, surrogacy, and human trafficking.
Sorry, but this is the same kind of lame argument that too often leads to the problem of kids HAVING kids long before they are emotionally or financially ready to provide for even ONE child, let alone two. As far as I'M concerned, the perfect time for children is when two people have had their education and job experience, and are ready for the tremendous responsibility of BEING good parents, and being able to provide for them financially.

While it is a very good thing for this couple and their kids that this extended child care service was available, it might have been even better had the couple waited a few more years before having them. Then these children could have been WITH their parents instead of having to be separated from them because the parents couldn't give them a stable home environment.
Ocean56

AOL

#113 Dec 5, 2009
just a thought wrote:
I think it is wonderful that young people, who may have made a mistake can reach out either by having children & not married, or young in need of help so they can keep their children. This is what the love of God in Christ teaches us. Anyone one of us needs help, in one form or another & many times we need to reach out to someone who is able to help us. That is not being irresponsible, but responsible. What are parents to do??? Give up??? give away their children??
Well, here's an idea; couples can WAIT until they have had all their high school and college/vocational education behind them, and have a few years of solid job experience before BECOMING parents in the first place. Of course, that might interfere with the hard-line "christian" doctrine of "be fruitful and multiply," which is usually pushed on young couples almost as soon as they say their wedding vows in church.

Contrary to what some choose to BELIEVE, not every couple is ready to become good and responsible parents as soon as they get married. I think couples need two or three years at least to be together as a couple before having the first child. If they decide to wait a few years before having children, we might not be seeing as many of these "families in crisis" situations like this one now. Just a thought.
yvette

Bellwood, IL

#114 Dec 9, 2009
i am the mother in the article and i love my kids very much no they wernt planned things happen but its ok because were ok now thanks to this program dont talk crap you dont no
Ocean56

AOL

#115 Dec 9, 2009
yvette wrote:
i am the mother in the article and i love my kids very much no they wernt planned things happen but its ok because were ok now thanks to this program dont talk crap you dont no
If you feel that expressing an opinion you don't like is "talking crap," I'm afraid that's entirely your problem. Anyone has a right to express their views on this board. If some people, including yourself, choose to be offended, too bad.

You and your family, especially your children, were very lucky to have this bailout. Not all families are as fortunate. I stand by what I said in my previous posts. Whether you agree or not is irrelevant.
yvette

Bellwood, IL

#116 Dec 9, 2009
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
If you feel that expressing an opinion you don't like is "talking crap," I'm afraid that's entirely your problem. Anyone has a right to express their views on this board. If some people, including yourself, choose to be offended, too bad.
You and your family, especially your children, were very lucky to have this bailout. Not all families are as fortunate. I stand by what I said in my previous posts. Whether you agree or not is irrelevant.
is what i mean is that your acting like i planned what happened by saying to wait until your ready i think people should wait until there ready too but life doesnt always happen the way you plan it life is unpredictable you never know whats coming your way next
Ocean56

AOL

#117 Dec 10, 2009
yvette wrote:
<quoted text>
is what i mean is that your acting like i planned what happened by saying to wait until your ready i think people should wait until there ready too but life doesnt always happen the way you plan it life is unpredictable you never know whats coming your way next
Is BIRTH CONTROL forbidden by your particular brand of religion? I found using that to be very effective in preventing unwanted pregnancy until I wanted to have a child. However, I know that some hard-line "christian" sects forbid its use. Something I find incredibly stupid, but that's typical of conservative christianity.
yvette

Bellwood, IL

#118 Dec 10, 2009
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
Is BIRTH CONTROL forbidden by your particular brand of religion? I found using that to be very effective in preventing unwanted pregnancy until I wanted to have a child. However, I know that some hard-line "christian" sects forbid its use. Something I find incredibly stupid, but that's typical of conservative christianity.
no im not forbidden but birth control is not 100% so it doesnt always work

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