Reader: Popular music to blame for teen pregnancy increase - Se...

Full story: Sentinel & Enterprise

I was very glad to see an article in this paper giving the statistics of teen pregnancy in the area.
Comments
41 - 60 of 74 Comments Last updated Jul 24, 2008
Girl

Seattle, WA

#42 Jul 11, 2008
Lois wrote:
<quoted text>
Why is everyone so quick to blame parents for everything a kid does?
There are many kids from from good homes with good parents and stuff still happens.
Most teens do not listen to their parents when it comes to sex. The media, movies and music videos are a much bigger influence on teenage sexual activity today.

Since: Jun 08

Location hidden

#43 Jul 12, 2008
Rachel wrote:
<quoted text>
You are right...entirely. But, the more involved you are in the lives of your children, the less likely they are to get themselves caught up in these situations.
When I went out as a teen, my mother expected to know where I was, who I was with, when I'd be home, where I could be reached, ect. When sex became an issue, my parents spoke about it openly which gave me a greater understanding of the risks involved.
Parenting isn't fool proof by any means, but the more involved the better the chances. The more we educate the youth, the better they'll fare, and that BEGINS in the home.
Hi Rachel,
I'm sure you and I will agree on many things over time. If a parent is very involved and communicates with their child, it will provide for the best CHANCE that the child as a teenager will use what was learned to help guide their decisions.

Lois...I didn't say that you have control over what they do directly, but you do have control over what influences (most of the time) they are exposed to, and that can help to shape their sense of self worth, morality, and their choices.

All of the environmental things happening around a child have SOME influence on them (in my opinion). Being responsible for how much of that particular influence is part of what a parent does. It is how a parent protects their child from influences that they see as harmful based on what they believe.
lost in space

Essex, MA

#44 Jul 12, 2008
Geez, I remember when they wouldn't let the TV cameras show Elvis Presley from the waist down on the Ed Sullivan show.His dancing was too racy ! Look at the music videos that are shown on tv all day long now, 25 years ago they would have been banned, they aren't much more than X rated flicks set to garbage music.
Lois

Shrewsbury, MA

#45 Jul 12, 2008
Rachel wrote:
<quoted text>
You are right...entirely. But, the more involved you are in the lives of your children, the less likely they are to get themselves caught up in these situations.
Rachel,
I see and understand what you are trying to say, but as the mom of three teens I do not entirely agree with you. I am very involved and protective with my children. We talk openly about many things. One thing I can tell you from experience is that when they are away from you, the power and influence of their friends is much stronger despite anything you may have ever talked about.

Hindsight is 20/20. As much as you try to prepare them as they grow, with that growth becomes the teen who wants to try to assert himself / herself as his/ her own independant person, separate and away from the influences and expectations of the parent(s).

I have been very "matter of fact" with all 3 of my teens. Even though I am, it has not prevented some of the "scrapes" they have gotten into from time to time.(nothing serious, just typical)
Rachel wrote:
<quoted text>
When I went out as a teen, my mother expected to know where I was, who I was with, when I'd be home, where I could be reached, ect. When sex became an issue, my parents spoke about it openly which gave me a greater understanding of the risks involved.
I too expect to know the who, what, when and where factors every time they go out the door. If their plans change, they know they better call me and tell me about it. Does it happen everytime? No. BUT there are repercussion for this.

Teens and Sex is a huge PROBLEM. They need to know the facts. They should have better access to protective measures too. You know they are going to do it, and you do not have to approve, but I would rather know they are "being smart" about it.

It is not all because of music. Take a look around.
Seems Silly

Amesbury, MA

#46 Jul 13, 2008
Franko wrote:
<quoted text>
YES MUSIC!!!!
The other day I heard two 10 year old girls singing along to a song on the radio. A female voice was singing "Today I Kissed a girl and I liked it" ... the lyrics clearly indicated that it's OK to experement and who cares what the parents think!!!
You don't think songs like that don't influence a 10 year old mind???BTW - This was on the "popular music" station, which every kid listens to.

A few things I have seen in commercials would have given a movie and "R" rating in the 1970's ...
No, NOT everykid listens to "popular music" some of us parents don't let their 10 year olds listen to that music...or we choose not to listen to those kind of stations when the kids are in the car... and have you seen what passed for a PG movie back in the 1970s? Go and look at say The Three Musketeers with Michael York, definitely NOT PG by today's standards.
Rachel

Lunenburg, MA

#47 Jul 13, 2008
Franko wrote:
<quoted text>
YES MUSIC!!!!
The other day I heard two 10 year old girls singing along to a song on the radio. A female voice was singing "Today I Kissed a girl and I liked it" ... the lyrics clearly indicated that it's OK to experement and who cares what the parents think!!!
You don't think songs like that don't influence a 10 year old mind???
Of course they do .. in fact it is shocking how much rock stars and TV/movie stars influence the behaviour (copycat emulation) of your children .. and from what I have seen, girls are more prone to this than guys ...
BTW - This was on the "popular music" station, which every kid listens to.
It is all a parent can do to keep something like that under control ...
let's look also at the content of some commericals .. I hear kids quoting things from commericals all the time ...
A few things I have seen in commercials would have given a movie and "R" rating in the 1970's ...
Ok. What was Mom and Dad doing to explain to those two 10 year old girls what thaose lyrics meant?

Do you think Mom and Dad sat down with them and explained the difference between fantasy and reality?

If Mom and Dad were so concerned, why didn't they change the radio station?

Where in the lyrics did it say "To hell with the parents?"

It doesn't. It's just a song that is too mature for such a young audience, which would require a simple channel change, or (god forbid) some parental explanation to clarify things for the young girls.

I'm sure those two will be knocked up by 15 all because they heard that song.
Lois

North Brookfield, MA

#48 Jul 13, 2008
Rachel wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm sure those two will be knocked up by 15 all because they heard that song.
Little Harsh there Rachel. Purely an assumption and little or no fact to support it.

Since: Jul 08

Claremont, NH

#49 Jul 13, 2008
When I was a single parent, I didn't apply the hand of censorship too heavily, because I know that there is no connection between entertainment, how someone reacts to any given form of entertainment, and what someone actually does. Too many variables are in play.

Instead, I tried to steer my kid away from stupidity. "Don't do anything stupid" became the family mantra. Had there been reality TV back then, we would not have watched it. No sitcoms, especially those featuring doofus dads.(Of course, it helped to have a smart kid in the first place.) I also expanded the limits as he got older, and I had to bite my lip a couple of times, but it came off all right. Since, my son has become an honors student in both high school and college, no arrests, and his relationshsips as an adult have been stable.

Intelligence is a value, too. Teach your children its value and it will be easier for them to resist temptation.
Join Free
Rachel

Boston, MA

#50 Jul 14, 2008
Lois wrote:
<quoted text>
Little Harsh there Rachel. Purely an assumption and little or no fact to support it.
Lois, it was sarcasm.
love

Poway, CA

#51 Jul 14, 2008
parents not parenting, lack of positive outlets for kids, afterschool programs, during school programs, community programs, a passive community

why do you think there were baby booms 9 months after big power outages? same thing.... kids have nothing better to do and no one is suggesting an alternative

don't pass the buck, take some ownership and get to know your neighbor's kids, your nieces and nephews, your kids.
IMAN

Santa Clara, CA

#52 Jul 14, 2008
Franko wrote:
<quoted text>
The influences start at an early age, long before they do it.
Let's put it this way ... when I was 11 or 12 (in the 70's) the word GAY was not being thrown around everywhere, it was never implied on TV ... and by age 14 or 15 I had no real idea what Gay was, and so the thought of experementing with it never came to mind.(I believe there are two classes of gays .. those born that way, and some who lean in the direction of bi-sexual or gay through influences in their life).
NOwadays every TV show has a token gay in it, and now 10 year olds talk about gay as an everyday thing. This is a formulative age when kids are still working out morals and what's what in the world.
DO you not think that, once exposed to the concept, a kid is not going to try it?
Maybe the girls won;t try kissing another girl at age 10 .. and then again they might .. but by age 12 or 13 kids are experementing and the concept has been in their mind now for a few years thanks to the exposure.
Of course the parents have to do their job... absolutlely .. but with more and more influences around them, the parent's job is getting harder and harder ...
How can a parent say "you can't do that" when the message the kids are getting is "everyone is doing that" ...
As I said in another post .. music alone is not the problem ... it is part of the whole change in societal attitudes. Music is a part of the bigger picture.
Franko

In the 70's anything remotely related to being gay or homosexuality was viewed in a highly negative fashion by mainstream america. I also was 11-15 in the 70's and remember that quite well. Any male in my school that acted feminine or was suspected of being "gay" was harrassed and ostricized.The tormenting of these young people was either condoned or ignored by parents and teachers. I know this because I did my fair share of harrassing and I wish I never had, the kids that were taunted must have been miserable. There was no acceptance of this lifestyle. Your assumptions and memories with regards to "being gay" seem erroneous at best and ignorant at their worst. I can't come up with a good reason why someone would "choose" to be gay or "experiment" with being gay in the 70's and risk getting found out in the environment I have described. Much of what you wrote seems ignorant and mis-informed to me. However, I agree with one point you made. Influences start early. By the time I was 10-11 yrs old I had been influenced by my environment and the adults around me to hate homosexuals. I had to leave where I grew up and the people there to see that there was nothing to hate.In my humble opinion that type of influence,the influence on young people to hate is a far greater threat to this society than any of the other "issues" mentioned in this thread.
Sally Millfinger

Essex, MA

#53 Jul 14, 2008
When I was a kid I heard a song called "I Shot the Sheriff" but never thought about shooting anyone - and my favorite was "Afternoon Delight" but never never thought of shooting sky rockets at night either. Use your brain dumbo!

Since: Nov 07

the dirty burg

#54 Jul 14, 2008
Franko wrote:
<quoted text>
DO you not think that, once exposed to the concept, a kid is not going to try it?
Maybe the girls won;t try kissing another girl at age 10 .. and then again they might .. but by age 12 or 13 kids are experementing and the concept has been in their mind now for a few years thanks to the exposure.
Of course the parents have to do their job... absolutlely .. but with more and more influences around them, the parent's job is getting harder and harder
Kids are exposed to the concept of kissing, oral sex, straight & homosexual sex from places other than music. Girls especially are taught about sex at a young age because they HAVE to - so they don't freak out someday when they start bleeding. I was told about these things at 9 years old. I didn't have sex until I was old enough to drive and was in a relationship.

Kids need to be taught that they should not be SHEEP. There are way to many sheep in this world, that's the problem.

Since: Nov 07

the dirty burg

#55 Jul 14, 2008
Sally Millfinger wrote:
When I was a kid I heard a song called "I Shot the Sheriff" but never thought about shooting anyone - and my favorite was "Afternoon Delight" but never never thought of shooting sky rockets at night either. Use your brain dumbo!
LOL. Afternoon Delight is a perfect example that songs were about SEX BEFORE TODAY. I worked at a department store as a teenager and Afternoon Delight was a constant on the stores's radio station. Guess what? I never once left work to go have some 'afternoon delight'. ha ha
Ajay

Randolph, MA

#56 Jul 15, 2008
Oral Sex? I thought that one of our past presidents decided that oral was NOT sex.

“tattoos hurt & I like it”

Since: Jul 08

Mountains of Joy

#57 Jul 15, 2008
There was teen pregnancies, there are, and there will be, no music or anything else will be the deciding factor or blame issue. I got pregnant at 16, & I don't recall Lil Wayne, or Matchbox 20 whispering in my ear, have sex and get pregnant. It was my own choice, i didn't plan it but took responsibility.
whatta joke

Shrewsbury, MA

#58 Jul 15, 2008
angelstarszzz wrote:
Thats insane...its not the music...these kids don't have morals..thats the prYoblem...music..never made me have sex
You sure must be ugly,probaly never been laid right? So ya saying if kids enjoy sex,they have no morals?
Peter Janhunen

Fitchburg, MA

#59 Jul 16, 2008
"I am personally disgusted with most of the music that is on the radio."

Me too...I just listened to such twisted people as Frank Sinatra, Johnny Mathis, Barbara Striseand, The Moron Carunkle Choir, and many more. Keep up the good work...lets get it all off the radio and TV.
are you serious

Allston, MA

#60 Jul 16, 2008
if parents didnt use music and tv as babysitters mabey that would change???
Rachel

Boston, MA

#61 Jul 17, 2008
whatta joke wrote:
<quoted text>You sure must be ugly,probaly never been laid right? So ya saying if kids enjoy sex,they have no morals?
What are you, 12 or so?

Enjoying sex is fine. Being responsible about sex is the objective here. All people enjoy sex, it's the instinct in us, and enjoying it is not the issue.

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