Does anybody know any good jokes ?
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United States

#23 Nov 9, 2012
Maybe wrote:
Where did u go.."Old Folks".."A King".."I Thought"..I enjoy readin' ur words of wisdom..
God's accuracy may be observed in the hatching of eggs......
For example: the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days;

-those of the canary in 14 days;
-those of the barnyard hen in 21 days;
-The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days;
-those of the mallard in 35 days;
-The eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days.
(Notice, they are all divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!)

God's wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant.
The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made. God planned that this animal would have a huge body, too large to live on two legs. For this reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily.

The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first.
A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first.
How wise the Lord is in all His works of creation!

God's wisdom is revealed in His arrangement of sections and segments, as well as in the number of grains.

-Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind.
-Each orange has an even number of segments.
-Each ear of corn has an even number of rows.
-Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains.
-Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and the next row an odd number.

The waves of the sea roll in on shore
twenty-six waves to the minute in all kinds of weather.

All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks, and the Lord specified thirty fold, sixty fold, and a hundred fold all even numbers.

God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day. Linnaeus, the great botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory containing the right kind of soil, moisture and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by the flowers that were open and those that were closed!

The lives of each of you may be ordered by the Lord in a beautiful way for His glory, if you will only entrust Him with your life. If you try to regulate your own life, it will only be a mess and a failure. Only the One Who made the brain and the heart can successfully guide them to a profitable end.

I HOPE YOU FIND THIS AS FASCINATING AS I DID. May God Bless You In Ways You Never Even Dreamed. I didn't think twice about forwarding this one.

How Great is our God!!!
Our Creator and Redeemer ... and do we THINK about it ???
The Bible
When you carry "the Bible", Satan has a headache, when you open it, he collapses,
when he sees you reading it, he loses his strength, AND when you stand on the Word of God, Satan can't hurt you! And did you also know..

United States

#24 Nov 9, 2012
Honestly I knew a few but not all..
Knock Knock

Alice, TX

#25 Nov 9, 2012
At the front door of the White House.

Knock Knock

From inside: Who's there.

It' me Mitt

From Inside: Mitt who.

Mitt Romney

From Inside: He doesn't live here, sorry.

United States

#26 Nov 12, 2012
There were three men that love to go hunting as a group each year, but it got harder to go for the wife did like it.--- The weekend before hunting session the 1st man told his wife *** I am going hunting next weekend with my friends--- The wife told him if you want to go hunting you need to remodel my kitchen, so he did.—The 2nd hunter told his wife that he was going hunting the next weekend with his friends – The wife told him if you want to go hunting you need to remodel my kitchen and dining room, so he did..--- The third man never said anything ** so the 1st and 2nd hunter both turn to the 3rd hunter and ask him what did you have to do to be able to come hunting --- Well when I got up this morning I told my wife, I have to decide if to stay home and make love to you or go hunting with the guys this morning--- the wife never turn around but just said in a low voice, just don’t forget its cold, so take your sweater, bye… that all it took so here I am…

United States

#27 Nov 12, 2012
One afternoon a lil boy too young to bathe himself stayed at grammas house so she had no choice but to do it.. So she thought might as well shower too-no sense in wasting water.. She told him NOT to look up but the lil boy couldnt help himself and asked "whats dat??".... "thats my porcupine" she said "now behave!!!" The next night he couldnt wait to tell his mom what he had seen and said "mom I think grammas porcupine is dead",, she freaked out and asked why, and he said " cuz its old,gray and has the tounge sticking out!!!!"

United States

#28 Nov 12, 2012
Same old lady walked into a sex shop looking for a toy 8==> to get her freak on-so the guy behind the counter shower her all they had in stock... Finally she said "how much for the big red one on the wall??" The guy said "maam that's our fu€kin fire extinguisher"....
joke of the day

Houston, TX

#29 Nov 13, 2012
i got one here it goes...

Lockhart, TX

#30 Nov 25, 2012
Two guys sitting on the porch drinking a few cold ones. One guy turns and sees a dog licking its balls. The guy tells his buddy, "man I wish I could do that". The other guy replies, "we'll you can try it but I think the dog would probably bite you".

United States

#31 Nov 25, 2012
joe david q wrote:
There's these three guys in the jungle and some Indians catch them and tell them we can kill u right now or you can take a test if u pass u live so they say okay the Indian tell each of them two go get ten pieces of fruit and come back so they do the first guy comes back with ten apples so the Indian says shove them up your ass and if you make one sound Ur dead so he starts on the second one he groans so they kill him well the second guy comes back with ten grapes so the Indian tells him the same thing so he starts putting the grapes in his ass on the ninth one he starts laughing so they kill him he goes to heaven with the first guy the first guy asks him u almost had it why did u start laughing he said I know I almost had it but when I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples I couldn't fuckun help it !!!!

The QUINTANILLA FAMILY IS A JOKE!!! Claire, David, Ashley, all crackheads!!!!

United States

#33 Nov 28, 2012
Any words of wisdom.."Our God"..I find ur wisdom in spirit..thru ur words & soul..sometimes there's a soul out in the world that is listening & finds comfort in a strangers words

Masontown, PA

#34 Nov 29, 2012 ……Ok Watch a Joke

United States

#35 Dec 8, 2012
Wht is 7 inches long, And its in a mans pants, and has a head and women love to blow it?????? MONEY! U PERVERTS

United States

#36 Dec 22, 2012
two men walk into a bar. you would have thought the second one would have ducked.

a horse walks into a bar. bartender says ,Why the long face?

a priest a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. bartender say, what is this? a joke?

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