Alcoholic stepfather verbally abuses son

Dear Straight Talk: I'm a 16-year-old girl and my brother is 13. Our alcoholic stepfather gets drunk every night and becomes verbally abusive toward all of us, especially my brother.

[Dear Brave sister -]

I am 51 and have experienced this and survived and am writing a book about verbal abuse. A few very simple things that might help you and your brother:
= everyone on this post is right, you should get help, go to the school counselor and ask for help, they should have options for you - note your Mom might be scared and ask you not to do this and you might feel like you are not doing what she wants, but the truth is that you are the strong one here and should do what you can to take care of you and your brother, NO ONE should be exposed to this -
= this is the cycle of violence, so after there is a 'blow-up' it'll often calm down until it starts again - you are not crazy, this is part of the process and know that it will continue
= 99% of all physical abuse starts with verbal - stay safe
= tell your brother that he doesn't have to spar with this bully, he should keep his boundaries and not engage, he can own his reaction by using 'I' statements, vs.'you'-----.i.e.'I don't want to hear this anymore' vs.'you are being mean'- it keeps the bully offguard b/c you are claiming back your power -
= remember that bullies are scared and insecure - I don't suggest you take him on but the more you stay the course, the better. They prey on fear.
= both of you should get involved in other activities to keep you away from turbulent times and allow others a chance to see what you live with, although the typical bully abuses in private -
You are NOT alone - this is a terrible abuse that leads to awful things - please feel free to send me a note on my blog - www.kimromancorle.com if you want - sending you a big HUG. Take care of yourself. Get some help. We are all thinking of you.

[Mike]

1-800-CRY-WAAA

I STRONGLY suggest that you live in compliance with Exodus 20:12, the Fifth Commandment - Honor thy Father and Mother.

If you don't, in a truly conservative Christian administration after Obama, you will be judged. You should live in fear of the provisions of Deuteronomy 21:18-21:

"18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son or daughter, which will not obey the voice of his or her father, or the voice of his or her mother, and that, when they have chastened him or her, will not hearken unto them:

19Then shall his or her father and his mother lay hold on him or her, and bring him or her out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his or her place;

20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son or daughter is stubborn and rebellious, he or she will not obey our voice; he or she is a glutton, a drunkard and a pothead.

21And all the men of his city shall stone him or her with stones, that he or she die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear."

While your parents are not perfect, in the eyes of the Lord thy God, you are obligated to honor them no matter how harshly they treat you. After all, their condition is surely the fault of your actions.

Get over yourself and start taking responsibility for your own actions and STOP blaming your parents less you face stoning by the Elders of the Church.

PRAISE BE TO GOD!

[Maximus Vacavillius]

Mike wrote:

1-800-CRY-WAAA
I STRONGLY suggest that you live in compliance with Exodus 20:12, the Fifth Commandment - Honor thy Father and Mother.
If you don't, in a truly conservative Christian administration after Obama, you will be judged. You should live in fear of the provisions of Deuteronomy 21:18-21:
"18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son or daughter, which will not obey the voice of his or her father, or the voice of his or her mother, and that, when they have chastened him or her, will not hearken unto them:
19Then shall his or her father and his mother lay hold on him or her, and bring him or her out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his or her place;
20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son or daughter is stubborn and rebellious, he or she will not obey our voice; he or she is a glutton, a drunkard and a pothead.
21And all the men of his city shall stone him or her with stones, that he or she die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear."
While your parents are not perfect, in the eyes of the Lord thy God, you are obligated to honor them no matter how harshly they treat you. After all, their condition is surely the fault of your actions.
Get over yourself and start taking responsibility for your own actions and STOP blaming your parents less you face stoning by the Elders of the Church.
PRAISE BE TO GOD!

Pray for Mike folks.

[Mike]

Maximus Vacavillius wrote:

<quoted text>Pray for Mike folks.

I agree. THAT Mike is a wacko.

[Mike]

P.S.

It's "pray for Mike, folks."

[Mike]

Mike wrote:

1-800-CRY-WAAA
I STRONGLY suggest that you live in compliance ...

Fred in Vv, I don't recall that you had access to an Oakland ISP location.

Very poor satire.

[Maximus Vacavillius]

Mike wrote:

P.S.
It's "pray for Mike, folks."

We're still praying for you Mike.

[Mike]

Maximus Vacavillius wrote:

<quoted text>We're still praying for you Mike.

We're still praying for you, Max.

Comma comma comma

[Jack Corsaut]

I was brought up in an extremely abusive environment and I do not believe for a minute the Biblical instructions to honor thy mother and father is applicable to the case of abusive parents. I think they are the sinners, and you, "Mike", are one of the reasons people flee from faith.

And if your post was tongue in cheek and designed to cause people to flee from faith then you are a stumbling block.

[Fred in Vacaville]

Mike wrote:

<quoted text>
Fred in Vv, I don't recall that you had access to an Oakland ISP location.
Very poor satire.

And you say this for what reason Mikey?

There are far better sources of morality and ethics then the Hebrew/Christian Bible that I would quote from if I wanted to be a buttinski in this matter.

FinVV

[Fran]

tell a coneslor!! i went through this and no one else should! stay safe.

[Mike]

Jack Corsaut wrote:

I was brought up in an extremely abusive environment and I do not believe for a minute the Biblical instructions to honor thy mother and father is applicable to the case of abusive parents. I think they are the sinners, and you, "Mike", are one of the reasons people flee from faith.
And if your post was tongue in cheek and designed to cause people to flee from faith then you are a stumbling block.

Yes and that's why you are such a girlyman.

[Granny in the Crosswalk]

Message for Maximum Bungholio....there's an AA meeting at 7:00 at the Alano Club.....better move along now, they can help you even as a dry guy!

[Jack Corsaut]

Mike wrote:

<quoted text>
Yes and that's why you are such a girlyman.

I have always been an attractive man (not always the advantage some would think, yet I am thankful, it is a blessing), and as such I have throughout my life been confronted,(accosted?), because of this, with homosexuals who fantasize about my being a "girlyman". I do not necessarily blame them, after all, they are gay and I am super handsome, but that does not excuse their parading their "sexual underwear" before the public, which is rather crude, and should be considered unacceptable. I mean - who cares?

Keep your sordid fantasies to yourself and stick to the argument...