Anyone willing to listen

Anyone willing to listen

Posted in the Evansville Forum

Need to talk

United States

#1 Feb 6, 2013
I have a lot on my chest I would like to spill my guts to someone who would listen who doesn't know me. I need someone to talk to. Please no need to be rude if you don't want to listen then don't.
friendly

Newburgh, IN

#2 Feb 6, 2013
What's up?
Need to talk

United States

#3 Feb 6, 2013
I have 3 children, one of which is a baby and a husband. I feel very overwhelmed with everything around the house, the children, and work. On top of all this I feel myself and my husband's relationship is falling apart. I just feel so much resentment against him for putting all the weight on my shoulders. He works but doesn't feel like he should have to do anything else even while I was pregnant everything was my responsibility and Ive built up this hatred for him because of it. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone thinks this will pass or maybe I need anti-anxiety meds. What could I do to feel a little better? Am I the only one to feel like this?
hanginthere

Clearfield, UT

#4 Feb 6, 2013
Need to talk wrote:
I have 3 children, one of which is a baby and a husband. I feel very overwhelmed with everything around the house, the children, and work. On top of all this I feel myself and my husband's relationship is falling apart. I just feel so much resentment against him for putting all the weight on my shoulders. He works but doesn't feel like he should have to do anything else even while I was pregnant everything was my responsibility and Ive built up this hatred for him because of it. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone thinks this will pass or maybe I need anti-anxiety meds. What could I do to feel a little better? Am I the only one to feel like this?
Anti-anxiety meds aren't what you need love. You need counseling with your husband or at least a sit down loving, respectful conversation on how overwhelmed you are and how a marriage is a partnership along with sharing or taking over responsibilities when your spouse is in desperate need of help. Providing for the family is important and if he won't budge get some outside help to come in and ease the burden. You are the mother of his children and his wife, your well being needs to take precedence now because emotionally your wearing yourself down with feeling resentful and its only going to get worse if you don't either sit down and bare your soul to him and let him know how overwhelmed you are and solicit his help or pay for someone to come in and help you. You're not alone in this, alot of us deal w it. Mine shaped up and helps alot now, and its made our relationship much better. Your his wife, not his maid or servant. Your needs need to be addressed. Hope things get better :-)
Need to talk

United States

#5 Feb 6, 2013
Thank you for responding honestly and respectfully. I really appreciate it.
Wow

Newburgh, IN

#6 Feb 6, 2013
Just make sure you present this in a loving manner. Don't attack him with it and say " I do everything around here!" Be more calm and collected and just tell him that you really need some help around the house. Tell him you love him and the kids love him and tell him how you feel.
Need to talk

United States

#7 Feb 6, 2013
I've had that talk with him several times and he always makes me feel guilty for it. He makes me feel crazy for even asking like I should be able to do it all because he works more than me. I just wanted an outside opinion. Should I be able to handle it all? Is this a problem with me?
thebesthusbandev er

United States

#8 Feb 6, 2013
Some men are still stuck on that women should do everything bs but its more on there attitudes. You can tell the ones who are like that before getting married,me myself don't mind cleaning cause we work to hard for what little we have as a team. You have the upper hand so use it,good luck!!
Oops

United States

#9 Feb 6, 2013
Divorce
lol

Akron, OH

#10 Feb 6, 2013
Get some other attention and make him jealous.
Need to talk

United States

#11 Feb 6, 2013
Well I was trying to avoid divorce and I'm not into making anyone jealous I don't think that's a good way to fix things but thank you for the suggestions. I just needed to get everything off my chest and know someone heard me without hearing all my family or friends opinions. Thank you everyone for letting me do that.
Wow

Chicago, IL

#12 Feb 6, 2013
Divorce is not the answer. That's the easy way out and the problem with our society. Here is a way to get his attention, quit doing his laundry or stop doing the dishes.
Need to talk

United States

#13 Feb 6, 2013
Well it's not that easy either since I have 2 small children who rely on me as well. The dishes have to be done and so does the laundry. Believe me I'm not saying at all Im great at keeping it together cause my house has been a mess since the baby was born. The laundry is clean but I can never get it all put away. I'm just hoping once the baby gets on a better sleep schedule I'll get things back together. I wish he would step up and take some weight off my shoulders but I honestly never see that happening, he still has the belief that the house and children are the woman's work. I think I always knew that. I married him and people don't change so I can suck it up and find a way to deal or decide if this is something big enough to leave over. I just wish things were different and I felt like our love was strong enough to handle this problem but lately I feel like we are honestly just roommates. We don't speak to each other, kiss, or hug, I could go days without touching him and be fine. I feel numb towards him because of everything and I don't know if I can get over it. It is what it is I guess. Sometimes things just don't work out no matter how much you want them to.
Wow

Chicago, IL

#14 Feb 6, 2013
There is still hope if you are taking the time out to write this. You obviously still love him to some degree and he loves you too. Try changing it up in the bedroom. Surprise him when he gets home naked ready to go. I know this isn't always easy with the kids and all, but hard times call for extra effort!!! Good luck to you. I will pray for you and your family.
Respond

United States

#15 Feb 6, 2013
Wow wrote:
There is still hope if you are taking the time out to write this. You obviously still love him to some degree and he loves you too. Try changing it up in the bedroom. Surprise him when he gets home naked ready to go. I know this isn't always easy with the kids and all, but hard times call for extra effort!!! Good luck to you. I will pray for you and your family.
Thank you so much...this site is always filled with anger and revenge its good to know there are still good people on here. I appreciate your time.

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