Confused

Chesnee, SC

#1 Feb 14, 2013
What do you feel it means to dream of someone, literally, every time you fall asleep? This is happening to me, and the said individual that I'm dreaming of is my ex of over six years ago. I'm in a relationship now, and have been for over five years. He's my heart and soul; I'm happy with him, and I love him very much. My ex never crosses my mind when I'm awake, but when I go to sleep he consumes all of my dreams. I don't understand this, and I'm tired of it. So, again, what do you think it means? And, what should I do to make them go away for good?(Please, end don't be rude, although there's always one in every crowd that has to be.)
Confused

Chesnee, SC

#3 Feb 14, 2013
Thank you for you input. But, I left him. I knew I was done, because when I finally walked away I knew that I had done everything I could possibly do to try and make us work. There's no part of me that has any desire to turn back. Someone told me once that if you dream of someone that means they're thinking of you. Who knows? I just know that I'm so very tired of going down 'memory lane' every time I fall asleep. As sad as it is, I've even tried placing my bible in under pillow like I did when I was a child and had a nightmare. Needless to say, I'm ready for the dreams to end once and for all.
me too

Bellevue, WA

#5 Feb 14, 2013
I too had a couple dreams like that. I used to see the guy I dreamed about and then about 5 years into my marriage I started to dream about him. I love my husband and didnt ever want this other guy back cause he is a major loser. But it freaked me out too. In the dream we were having sex. He is bigger than my husband but my darlin is way better at the motion:-) At some point the dreams will probably stop. I have had other re-occuring dreams also. I used to dream I had just given birth to a dark haired son... and then I cant find the baby and when I do it it has starved to death and died!!!! I would wake up in tears. I have had my tubes tied and it used to bother me that I cant have more kids. This dream would come and go in different variations then just stopped. Your dream doesnt mean alot you just need to get him out of your head. Be truthful with yourself. Dont justify him with excuses inside your head. There is a reason you two aint together.
Confused

Chesnee, SC

#6 Feb 15, 2013
I hate to break it to you, but this time you are undoubtedly wrong. He treated me like dirt, and put me through immortal hell. Believe me, before I finally decided enough was enough, beating him to death definitely crossed my mind on more than one occasion. (: But, I wouldn't dare travel back down that road even if my life depended upon it. And as for the affair, no. Lord knows I'm lots of negative things, but a whore isn't one of them. Thankfully, I was raised to have morals.
Confused

Chesnee, SC

#7 Feb 15, 2013
me too wrote:
I too had a couple dreams like that. I used to see the guy I dreamed about and then about 5 years into my marriage I started to dream about him. I love my husband and didnt ever want this other guy back cause he is a major loser. But it freaked me out too. In the dream we were having sex. He is bigger than my husband but my darlin is way better at the motion:-) At some point the dreams will probably stop. I have had other re-occuring dreams also. I used to dream I had just given birth to a dark haired son... and then I cant find the baby and when I do it it has starved to death and died!!!! I would wake up in tears. I have had my tubes tied and it used to bother me that I cant have more kids. This dream would come and go in different variations then just stopped. Your dream doesnt mean alot you just need to get him out of your head. Be truthful with yourself. Dont justify him with excuses inside your head. There is a reason you two aint together.
Thank you so much for your input and understanding. As you said, I don't have any desire for my ex either. He too was nothing more than a loser with no ambition. I love my current partner with every fiber of my being. He's my best friend. I have other re-occuring dreams also, but this is the only one that irritates me to no end. At this point, I'm going to do all I know to do and continue praying in hopes that one day the dreams cease and I can sleep peacefully.
Answer

Knoxville, TN

#8 Feb 15, 2013
You still love him
Confused

Blair, SC

#9 Feb 15, 2013
Answer wrote:
You still love him
No, I'm afraid not. Only I know what my heart feels. Love is undoubtedly the last feeling I have toward him. I'm just going to remove this entire post because I'm not getting any useful advice.
Imsorry

Nashville, TN

#13 Feb 15, 2013
Confused wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you so much for your input and understanding. As you said, I don't have any desire for my ex either. He too was nothing more than a loser with no ambition. I love my current partner with every fiber of my being. He's my best friend. I have other re-occuring dreams also, but this is the only one that irritates me to no end. At this point, I'm going to do all I know to do and continue praying in hopes that one day the dreams cease and I can sleep peacefully.
Clearly you are rejecting an ideal that you refuse to hear. No one is saying that you 100% want to be with him, but deep down there is a rooted image of you two together. Maybe due to just the fact you were with him so long, or maybe because you harbor a small amount of feelings for him that you refuse to allow yourself to feel. We are all easily suggested by our conscious. If I try hard enough I can tell myself that my wife is evil, even though she is perfect, that's just human nature.

My suggestion to you would be to stop throwing away other peoples opinion just because you don't want to hear it, and look deep within your self and realize that maybe just maybe he crosses your mind often, even if you do repress it when it happens.
Day dreamer

Kingsport, TN

#14 Feb 16, 2013
I would bet that you've been going through something lately that has triggered an emotional memory that is linked to your memory of him. You say he was abusive? Have you been feeling weak or like you are having choices taken away from you lately? Not necessarily in love either, the trigger could be in any aspect of your life. It's not really about the person but the emotion you are triggering. I would try doing something to shake up your routine and emotional state. If you never do anything physical, go hiking or running. If you always eat fast food eat really healthy and do some detox. Take your current love on a weekend getaway. Just shake yourself up a little, in a good way, and the dreams will probably stop.
Confused

United States

#15 Feb 17, 2013
Day dreamer wrote:
I would bet that you've been going through something lately that has triggered an emotional memory that is linked to your memory of him. You say he was abusive? Have you been feeling weak or like you are having choices taken away from you lately? Not necessarily in love either, the trigger could be in any aspect of your life. It's not really about the person but the emotion you are triggering. I would try doing something to shake up your routine and emotional state. If you never do anything physical, go hiking or running. If you always eat fast food eat really healthy and do some detox. Take your current love on a weekend getaway. Just shake yourself up a little, in a good way, and the dreams will probably stop.
Thank you so much for the USEFUL advice!(: Others here don't seem to understand that I know my heart, and that I've been done with him for many years. He was something of my early twenties; I've moved on with my life, and found someone who loves me just as much as I love him. If I still had feelings for this man, I'm sure I wouldn't want the dreams to cease so badly. However, you are correct. I've been going through some stressful situations at work and with some family members that could've triggered the dreadful dreams. So, again, thank you for the useful advice; this coming weekend will be a wonderful time for me to try some of the things you suggested.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#16 Feb 17, 2013
Confused wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you so much for the USEFUL advice!(: Others here don't seem to understand that I know my heart, and that I've been done with him for many years. He was something of my early twenties; I've moved on with my life, and found someone who loves me just as much as I love him. If I still had feelings for this man, I'm sure I wouldn't want the dreams to cease so badly. However, you are correct. I've been going through some stressful situations at work and with some family members that could've triggered the dreadful dreams. So, again, thank you for the useful advice; this coming weekend will be a wonderful time for me to try some of the things you suggested.
Forgive him for not being the person you thought he would be and forgive yourself for marrying him . This will free you of him . You might even think you've forgiven but something is not letting you be free. Blessings to you.

Since: Apr 09

Location hidden

#17 Feb 17, 2013
2centz wrote:
<quoted text>
Forgive him for not being the person you thought he would be and forgive yourself for marrying him . This will free you of him . You might even think you've forgiven but something is not letting you be free. Blessings to you.
I agree with you 2c, by harboring ill thoughts it often times triggers dreams about the person.Sometimes when we rarely think of a person, much like someone who treated us badly in a relationship, it prompts the subconscious mind while in the dream cycle.I have found that if you feel angrily toward someone in the past and hold resentment toward that person, that often you will dream of them.
Try forgiving that certain person that brought you so much anger, resentment, and grief, therefore you are relieving yourself of such pent up frustration which you will carry with you throughout your life.
You have moved on in your life, you're happy now and have learned from your experiences as we all have also.Instead focus on the things that make you happy and have fulfilled your life.A hard heart makes one bitter and resentful even of the things in life that are helpful to us.Carry with you a glad heart and forgiveness and you will find that the negative things will decrease.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#18 Feb 17, 2013
echostar wrote:
<quoted text>I agree with you 2c, by harboring ill thoughts it often times triggers dreams about the person.Sometimes when we rarely think of a person, much like someone who treated us badly in a relationship, it prompts the subconscious mind while in the dream cycle.I have found that if you feel angrily toward someone in the past and hold resentment toward that person, that often you will dream of them.
Try forgiving that certain person that brought you so much anger, resentment, and grief, therefore you are relieving yourself of such pent up frustration which you will carry with you throughout your life.
You have moved on in your life, you're happy now and have learned from your experiences as we all have also.Instead focus on the things that make you happy and have fulfilled your life.A hard heart makes one bitter and resentful even of the things in life that are helpful to us.Carry with you a glad heart and forgiveness and you will find that the negative things will decrease.
Well hello echo! I hope all is well with you.
Very well-said post!

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