Just me

Poplar Bluff, MO

#1 Aug 13, 2010
My fiance' is leaving on vacation with his 2 adult children (18 & 21)tomorrow. They are going to visit his folks in another state & will be gone for a week. I've met his mother ONCE, but it was a brief meeting and it was right when we first got together & we hit it off really well, I thought. He invited me to go when we were discussing it about ah' 3-6 months back and then all of a sudden I'm not invited. He's used the excuse that it's on his way when he takes his 2 kids (stuff) back to college in Columbia. We're gettting married THIS OCTOBER and I'm really bummed about all of this and quite offended. I've never met any of his family. We've talked about it and he acts like its no big deal. My 2 kids and myself have gone on lots of trips over the past year/year and a half WITHOUT him, but he's always invited, but never wants to take part. My kids are much younger, 13 and 6. Should I not feel OFFENDED?

Since: Nov 08

Pacific, Mo

#2 Aug 13, 2010
I do understand that you might have some negative feelings about being uninvited, if he was not sure that you would be welcome to come along that he should have not invited you in the first place. Beside that, maybe he wants to get some alone time in with his children, they are getting older and he maybe at a point in his life where he misses them more and wants to spend more time with them. His children may have asked that he come alone so that they can spend more time with them. I would suggest that if this is REALY bothering you and you can't just let it go that you should try to find out why he invited you at first and then now you are not invited. Also you might try finding out why that this is bothering you also, do you have some questions about your relationship with him. But above all please remember that this could be no big deal and the more drama brought into this the more that this could become a REAL big deal.
Just Me

Poplar Bluff, MO

#3 Aug 16, 2010
Compound wrote:
I do understand that you might have some negative feelings about being uninvited, if he was not sure that you would be welcome to come along that he should have not invited you in the first place. Beside that, maybe he wants to get some alone time in with his children, they are getting older and he maybe at a point in his life where he misses them more and wants to spend more time with them. His children may have asked that he come alone so that they can spend more time with them. I would suggest that if this is REALY bothering you and you can't just let it go that you should try to find out why he invited you at first and then now you are not invited. Also you might try finding out why that this is bothering you also, do you have some questions about your relationship with him. But above all please remember that this could be no big deal and the more drama brought into this the more that this could become a REAL big deal.
Thanks for the advice.....It's definitely not a trust issue or anything like that. I'm actually over it now. Sure, I wish I could have went but he promised it's NOT ME or anything to do with me. It's a matter of his kids and him getting in a LAST vacation just the 3 of them before we become a 6 person family. He's not very close to his kids in the first place and I know that bothers him (there relationship) and maybe he thought this would HELP, just the 3 of them??? He said next time he goes, I'm definitely invited. I've just been staying busy and trying to keep my mind off of it. I don't want to argue and bicker about it because it's a done deal. I know they are having fun. It just bothered me because I've only met his mom the one time and haven't met anyone else in the family and this would have been a perfect opportunity! I guess I can wait! Like I said, we are getting married in less than 2 months and have been dating over a year and a half. I don't think there's anything weird or wrong with his family, but it would have been nice to meet them NOW and see them again later, but I guess later it is!

Since: Nov 08

Pacific, Mo

#4 Aug 17, 2010
I am glad things ate ok and that you have peace with this issue. It is great that you where able to understand his needs and not let this issue damage what will be a great marriage. I believe this show how great of a person you are, I hope that he sees this and recognizes how great you are.
Just me

Poplar Bluff, MO

#5 Aug 18, 2010
Compound wrote:
I am glad things ate ok and that you have peace with this issue. It is great that you where able to understand his needs and not let this issue damage what will be a great marriage. I believe this show how great of a person you are, I hope that he sees this and recognizes how great you are.
Awww....well thank you so much for that and those kind words!=)

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