Scientists have located a Republican's brain that was buried for over 100 years. At first they thought that it was a wad of gum that the Man had crewed right before dying but upon further investigation they discovered that it was actually the dead mans brain and that it had shot out of his nose when he sneezed and coughed too hard.
Upon further investigating why this man's brain had shrunk over the years they discovered that it hadn't shrunk and that it was the original size that he had before dying from a massive brain loss.
Further investigations on why Republicans have small brains and less intelligence then Democrats done by Scientists tell us that Republicans are missing a portion of their brain that helps them make decisions on their own.
When Dr.Smartson was asked why Republicans brains only function by choice he said the it was because that part of the brain was missing and that they couldn't think on their own. Dr.Smartson then said that he has studied Democrats, Independents and Republicans and Republicans are the only ones that have the missing area from their brain and that they can function the same as anyone else but they are not like anyone else.
Some of the discoveries that Dr. Smartson observed were.
Republicans. 1. Need to be told what to do because they can't make up their own minds. 2. Republicans believe only what they want to believe and their brain can't process rationalization. 3. Stealing is alright as long as it is done by a Republican. 4. As a Republican gets older their brain shrinks and becomes even smaller which makes them forget about Historical facts and they process the information the way that they want it to be and that's why they confuse the truth from a lie.
Also, Historians are also reporting that the size of Ronald Reagan's Brain is the size of a quarter and he has had to several surgeries on his nose to keep his brain from falling out while he was in office.
There is a rumor going around that during the time that George W. Bush went AWOL he was hurt while flying a plane over Nam Texas and was hit in the head and he had to have a baboons brain transplanted into his cranium. That is why he is so simian like.