You sound like one of the detractors arguing against the building of the NCRR in the 1830's. Well, they built it, and it flourished for a century plus.
I-83 did not really enter the picture until the 1960's and 70's and less than 50 years later, it clogs to a standstill, repeatedly, during heavy use hours.
Cheap and plentyful gas made the difference in the old days. Those days are numbered. Commuter service BETTER happen in our lifetime, because cars and trucks running on cheap gas will not last. You can argue to drill ANWAR and drill off shore and those are still, short-term, short-sighted solutions that will only delay the Future in a country that once prided itself on looking well into it.
We need atlernative ways of dealing with problems NOW. Moreover, the "solutions" suggested in your last paragraph are right out of a 1970's playbook for suburban development. That model is dead too.
So to use the old phrase, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." Your thinking just mires the path to a better America.