Proms, Plays, & Yearbooks: Erasing queer lives from school

Recent school controversies around the country demonstrate how parents , administrators, and other school officials are harming students and teaching homophobia and intolerance. ...Why do these youth frighten adults into these harmful responses? What's at stake when adults let their "values" actively exclude and harm young people?

[Duped since birth]

Yay! This is exactly the point. There are children at risk. If we are going to insist on some ridiculous Judeo-Christian definition of gender, this society deserves to die. That definition was made by sex-hating men during the stone age and later by female-hating men who decided that certain texts were "sacred" and those ridiculous attitudes have prevailed to this day. Let's get over it, move on.

[TheCelibateOne]

Roisia wrote:

<quoted text>
Exactly! If you are different you dont deserve to have a year book picture. Or go to the prom. Because your not good enough. Thats what i learned in highschool. Its good that we show gays what there life will get them in the real world. We are doing them a favor now by giving them a chance to change (End sarcasm)
People are people Who they are is far more important than what they are and they deserve both love and compassion just like every other student. You cant silence someone just because you dont agree with them!

Though you spoke sarcastically, the statement was actually accurate.

[Roisia]

TheCelibateOne wrote:

<quoted text>
Though you spoke sarcastically, the statement was actually accurate.

Ahh but thats only if your different in a way that would offend christians. After all christians are far more importan than any other group in the world right?

[Gay And Proud]

I guess that whole idea of a "golden rule" doesn't apply to Christians who want to persecute others.

[Shadow Dragon]

so balerick42, I guess you don't understand that gays pay taxes just like you,go to work just just like you.They're entitled to the same right as you. All you show is nothing more then paranoid fears that gays will ruin you. HA! Get real.

[IndyStevie]

It's nice to see that Psychology Today is supportive of these kids and studying the motives of homophobic adults.

[Lilllith]

"You are asking for new protections and rights to extend to those individuals who identify themselves as gay."

Wrong lizard breath. We're not asking foir anything new, That's YOUR spin, and it's BS. I am only asking for the same right as any man under civil law, which allows him to marry a woman. If HE can marry a woman, so can I. Otherwise, I am being discriminated upon because of my sexual genitalia. In other words, you would refuse me the right to marry a woman, even though a man can, based on a physical difference, just like skin color is a physical difference. And that is the very definition of discrimination as anypone with a brain already knows.

[DustyShadow]

I don't understand why the young woman wouldn't just wear the drape. Why make such an issue over it? I think the school would have done the same thing to a young lady who wanted to wear her own regular female clothes rather than the drape.

My kids' high school had several gay kids. While everyone suspected they were gay, they never made an issue of it. They were school leaders, very popular in fact. They seemed just like the other kids, not weird, not pulling controversial stunts. The boys took girls to the prom. The girls acted and dressed like girls. They came out after high school, and I must say all the parents were grateful that they chose not to be flamboyant during the high school years, a time when parents like to see minimal sexual activities anyway.

Might be something these kids should think about for their own good. All actions have consequences, sometimes unintended, and the action of being flamboyant in anyway often has unpleasant consequences whether one is gay or straight.

[Quest]

DustyShadow wrote:

I don't understand why the young woman wouldn't just wear the drape. Why make such an issue over it? I think the school would have done the same thing to a young lady who wanted to wear her own regular female clothes rather than the drape.
My kids' high school had several gay kids. While everyone suspected they were gay, they never made an issue of it. They were school leaders, very popular in fact. They seemed just like the other kids, not weird, not pulling controversial stunts. The boys took girls to the prom. The girls acted and dressed like girls. They came out after high school, and I must say all the parents were grateful that they chose not to be flamboyant during the high school years, a time when parents like to see minimal sexual activities anyway.
Might be something these kids should think about for their own good. All actions have consequences, sometimes unintended, and the action of being flamboyant in anyway often has unpleasant consequences whether one is gay or straight.

So what you are saying is, that all straight kids are free to be themselves, but the gay kids need to hide it through high school?

And you don't think that the consequences of living such a lie has a lasting effect?

If all the kids in your school liked the gay kids and didn't care a hoot, then why would it be necessary for them to derees in an umconfortable way, as long as they were choosing apparel that was in the dress code for either gender?

And I would like to hear how a girl wearing a tux to a Prom might be construed as flamboyant or "sexual activity" by any sane parent.

[Roisia]

DustyShadow wrote:

I don't understand why the young woman wouldn't just wear the drape. Why make such an issue over it? I think the school would have done the same thing to a young lady who wanted to wear her own regular female clothes rather than the drape.
My kids' high school had several gay kids. While everyone suspected they were gay, they never made an issue of it. They were school leaders, very popular in fact. They seemed just like the other kids, not weird, not pulling controversial stunts. The boys took girls to the prom. The girls acted and dressed like girls. They came out after high school, and I must say all the parents were grateful that they chose not to be flamboyant during the high school years, a time when parents like to see minimal sexual activities anyway.
Might be something these kids should think about for their own good. All actions have consequences, sometimes unintended, and the action of being flamboyant in anyway often has unpleasant consequences whether one is gay or straight.

At my school there were many girls who didnt wear dresses. Outright refused. The large majority of them were straight.

[Gay And Proud]

DustyShadow wrote:

I don't understand why the young woman wouldn't just wear the drape. Why make such an issue over it? I think the school would have done the same thing to a young lady who wanted to wear her own regular female clothes rather than the drape.
My kids' high school had several gay kids. While everyone suspected they were gay, they never made an issue of it. They were school leaders, very popular in fact. They seemed just like the other kids, not weird, not pulling controversial stunts. The boys took girls to the prom. The girls acted and dressed like girls. They came out after high school, and I must say all the parents were grateful that they chose not to be flamboyant during the high school years, a time when parents like to see minimal sexual activities anyway.
Might be something these kids should think about for their own good. All actions have consequences, sometimes unintended, and the action of being flamboyant in anyway often has unpleasant consequences whether one is gay or straight.

In other words, the only good gays are the ones who stay closeted, who pass as straight.

I'm curious -- did your high school expect Jewish boys to not wear the yarmulke? And are Christians asked to not wear religious jewelry?

[Gretchen]

fr DustyShadow:

>...I don't understand why the young woman wouldn't just wear the drape. Why make such an issue over it? I think the school would have done the same thing to a young lady who wanted to wear her own regular female clothes rather than the drape....<

Because, brainiac, she wanted to, and deserved the RIGHT, to wear her own clothes. She HAS no dresses or skirts, nor is she going to buy any, why not allow her to dress up in a tux, which is perfectly appropriate?

[DustyShadow]

Quest wrote:

<quoted text>
So what you are saying is, that all straight kids are free to be themselves, but the gay kids need to hide it through high school?
And you don't think that the consequences of living such a lie has a lasting effect?
If all the kids in your school liked the gay kids and didn't care a hoot, then why would it be necessary for them to derees in an umconfortable way, as long as they were choosing apparel that was in the dress code for either gender?
And I would like to hear how a girl wearing a tux to a Prom might be construed as flamboyant or "sexual activity" by any sane parent.

There should be guidelines for straight kids, too. There are way too many girls that dress like sluts, guys with their pants hanging off and most of their underwear showing. I think all blatant sexuality should be toned way down in high school. As for a girl wearing a tux on prom night, come to think of it, it might have been more decent than some of the sluttier dresses.

[Quest]

DustyShadow wrote:

<quoted text>
There should be guidelines for straight kids, too. There are way too many girls that dress like sluts, guys with their pants hanging off and most of their underwear showing. I think all blatant sexuality should be toned way down in high school. As for a girl wearing a tux on prom night, come to think of it, it might have been more decent than some of the sluttier dresses.

And that really should be the purpose of school dress codes. And there are a great man guidlines for straight kids.

I think the point here is that a girl in a tux isn't obscene, isn't flamboyant, isn't scarey at all. But let's take it further.

What about the transgendered kid, born male, showing up in a dress. The same sort of dress that would completely acceptable for a female at the same dance. Do you think that would be scarier for most folks?

After all, lots of women--gay and straight--wear "male" clothes. Heck, pants were once considered male attire, but the idea that a "male" could wear a dress outside of dragging it up at a halloween party is much more taboo.

[DustyShadow]

I personally think a man in a woman's dress is a public display of deep psycho-pathology. . .unless it is indeed a costume affair. Sorry, but that's just the way I feel. I know I am not alone. When people see that, they automatically think that poor person needs help.

[Gay And Proud]

DustyShadow wrote:

I personally think a man in a woman's dress is a public display of deep psycho-pathology...unless it is indeed a costume affair. Sorry, but that's just the way I feel. I know I am not alone. When people see that, they automatically think that poor person needs help.

People used to (and still do in some places) say the exact same thing about women who wear pants.

The arguments are just as silly.

[DustyShadow]

Gay And Proud wrote:

<quoted text>
People used to (and still do in some places) say the exact same thing about women who wear pants.
The arguments are just as silly.

I was alive then (yes, I'm old), and no, they didn't say the same thing about women who wore pants in the beginning. Wicked, yes. Sinful, indeed. Psycho-pathological? NEVER.

[The Golem]

DustyShadow wrote:

I personally think a man in a woman's dress is a public display of deep psycho-pathology...unless it is indeed a costume affair. Sorry, but that's just the way I feel. I know I am not alone. When people see that, they automatically think that poor person needs help.

Thank you for sharing your unfounded opinion as if it were fact. We've all been waiting with bated breath for your words of wisdom.

[DustyShadow]

The Golem wrote:

<quoted text>
Thank you for sharing your unfounded opinion as if it were fact. We've all been waiting with bated breath for your words of wisdom.

My opinion is my opinion, jerk. I'm entitled to express it. YOU are the one that added the "fact" spin on it, but now that I know you are holding your breath waiting for it, I'll try to hold off so you all turn blue and pass out.(for crying out loud)

[The Golem]

DustyShadow wrote:

<quoted text>
My opinion is my opinion, jerk. I'm entitled to express it. YOU are the one that added the "fact" spin on it, but now that I know you are holding your breath waiting for it, I'll try to hold off so you all turn blue and pass out.(for crying out loud)

You have a hard time figuring out when you've been "dissed," don't you?