parental alienation is not only abuse...

parental alienation is not only abuse but a crime

Posted in the Elkhorn City Forum

“~~LIVE~~LAUGH~~L OVE~~”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#1 Nov 4, 2011
The area courts are now heavily considering this now, it IS abuse & it IS illegal to deprive a child of his/her, mother or father, many court cases will now be comming on all these "parents" who through thier own selfishness is abusing thier kids without mercy.
They will all finally get exactly what they deserve & they begged for every ounce of it--they thought they had this in the bag when he was alone--well, now he isn't & I will battle for what I believe in & dearest I know you're just being petty because you believe you can, well soon you'll find out that you can't.
Guest

Arlington, TX

#2 Nov 5, 2011
Parental Alienation is Real and Harms Children

It is a mental condition in which a child, usually one put in the middle of a contentious divorce, allies strongly with one parent and rejects a relationship with the other parent without legitimate justification. It occurs when one parent essentially “programs” a child to dislike and even fear the other parent, usually the father.

Psychiatrist Richard A. Gardner was the first to use the term “parental alienation” and his research suggests women are more likely to alienate than men. At Cordell & Cordell, a divorce law firm that primarily represents fathers, parental alienation is a part of 60% of our child custody cases.

Yet there are still groups, such as the National Organization of Women (NOW), and associated legislative campaigns that are attempting to drive recognition of parental alienation out of the family court system.

Seemingly disregarding the fact that mothers are sometimes the victims of parental alienation, NOW refers to alienation as a “dangerous and cleverly marketed legal strategy promoted by father’s rights groups.”

NOW believes parental alienation is a legal defense disguised as a psychological phenomenon by abusive fathers in order to overlook the dad’s physical or sexual abuse in an effort to gain custody.

This attitude is insulting to all the parents, both mothers and fathers, who have seen their relationship with their children ruined by parental alienation.

This destruction often begins with brainwashing, which Gardner describes as “conscious acts of programming the child against the other parent.” He says that the alienating parent “embarks upon an unrelenting campaign of denigration…at times the criticism may even be delusional.”

Take the example of one of our clients, Brian – a blue-collar worker that commutes two hours a day to provide for his wife and three children. As his wife’s addiction to painkillers and chatting on Facebook with “friends” turned worse, the couple sought a divorce. She moved out, taking the children with her.

As if the physical separation wasn’t enough, Brian’s wife began emotionally alienating his children from him. She spread lies that Brian beat her, threatened her at gunpoint, and abused drugs.

At custody hearings, recordings from the court-ordered psychiatrist showed fearful children coached to lie to validate their mother’s accusations. In separate interviews, each child would repeat the same lines verbatim. Our attorney said he had never in his practice heard kids speak the way Brian’s did.

The psychiatrist believed the children were programmed into believing their mother’s lies so much that they actually became afraid of their dad. Thus, Brian was granted only supervised visits.

During the first visit, his children hid behind the door afraid to come out. They were afraid to see their father, the man they once cried out for as their mother was moving them out of their home. The same dad who only months earlier was playing outside with them, taking them on fishing trips, tucking them into bed, and doing all the things loving, supportive fathers do.

Almost eight months later Brian has had no overnight visits with his children.

Critics of parental alienation argue the syndrome has no scientific validity. But simply because parental alienation syndrome has not yet been included in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders does not mean one parent’s ability to manipulate a child isn’t real and shouldn’t be treated as such.

Ask David Goldman – whose wife kidnapped their son, fled to Brazil, and when his son was finally returned home thought his own father was the enemy – if parental alienation is a myth.

Finish reading this article at http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/...
whocaresee

Cynthiana, KY

#3 Nov 13, 2011
Men, don't be coming around me with your ugly, rat b*stard kids. I will be no step mother, I'll beat em till they can't walk or eat on their own.
love it

Elkhorn City, KY

#4 Nov 14, 2011
Don't know who started this but I am so totally interested..It really is the worst form of child abuse ever. I spent so many years researching and wondering when the courts would figure it out. I am glad to hear its finally come to light but I am doubtful..Plzz I'd love more info...I wrote a paper on it 10 years ago and sadly I have lived it for almost 15. My child just recently came back home and I am so worried about their mental state. Afraid to open windows or be alone. Obvious personality disorder. They are confused and sad and they are 18. An adult now and ------ed up because some idiot judge couldn't see past election time or some other random bull-shit. I am trying so hard to put the pieces back together but it is very very hard. I am sorry if you are going thru this or have.
Guest

United States

#5 Nov 17, 2011
Another excellent article discusses 3 books on Parental Alienation

From the Fathers and Families website at http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/...

The discussion of parental alienation has taken a step forward with the publication of three books and positive reviews of same in the prestigious Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

By far the weightiest of the three is the book aimed at the mental health profession that’s edited by Dr. William Bernet of Vanderbilt University. It gathers articles and commentary from 70 mental health researchers and practitioners worldwide as well as citations to some 630 articles on the subject. As such, Parental Alienation, DSM-5 and ICD-11 is the most impressive publication to date arguing for recognition of parental alienation as a treatable condition or disorder by mental health professionals.(The ICD is the International Classification of Diseases of the World Health Organization. It’s currently in its tenth edition.)

In her review of the book, Dr. Gabrielle Shapiro, M.D. gives a hint of her professional revelation of parental alienation.

During my training in child and adolescent psychiatry, the concept of parental alienation was a subject of great contention and debate, one that elicited strong affect-laden responses in many of my mentors similar to those prompted by multiple personality disorder. Truthfully, it was only after working for many years performing custody evaluations that I began to “buy into” the diagnosis, recognizing not only its existence, but also its devastating and long-lasting impact on the development and attachments of children who are victims of high-conflict divorce.

In short, exposure to children embroiled in custody cases made Shapiro see the reality of parental alienation. My guess is that the debate about parental alienation would move a lot faster if more of those opining on the subject followed in Shapiro’s footsteps.

Shapiro notes that parental alienation of children,

can lead to severe lifelong pathologic consequences for the child who has lost the reciprocal nurturing relationship with one of his primary attachment figures. Often these dysfunctional relationship patterns persist throughout a lifetime, despite the best of therapeutic interventions. The text makes the argument that parental alienation is not just a temporary symptom in the divorced family, but a disorder that deserves a psychiatric diagnosis.

So, according to mental health professionals who have studied parental alienation and the literature on it, PA is abusive to children. It can have profound effects throughout the person’s life. Courts should (and many do) give evidence of parental alienation their full attention and when it appears, move aggressively to stop it via their contempt power and their ability to alter custody arrangements.

One of the frequent claims made by those opposed to courts admitting evidence of parental alienation is that the concept was developed by Dr. Richard Gardner. That’s largely because Gardner makes an easy target; he’s dead and therefore can be libeled with legal impunity, and that’s just what they do.

Gardner is often labeled an apologist for pedophilia. The fact that that is flagrantly false troubles those people not at all. Were he still alive, those folks would find themselves in court facing charges of slander, libel and defamation. But he’s not, so the charge is routinely made. Why? Because Gardner made so bold as to point out in court and in his writings on PA that, when parents (usually mothers) level false charges of child sexual abuse against other parents (usually fathers), it can be an indicator of PA at work. Sadly, some take the attitude that mothers never lie about such things and so anyone finding their claims to be false and alienating must be excusing pedophilia.

Read the rest at http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/...
Scorned

Isom, KY

#6 Jul 4, 2016
I'm a mother of three and I myself am having problems with this myself! I'm trying to find a good attorney that could work with me to try and get them to work with me due to being low income. My ex husband flipped my world upside down and now I'm experiencing parental alienation. I've had it! I'm sick and tired of his poor parenting and him not letting me even get a phone call thru so I can talk to my kids. He has brainwashed his entire family lies on me and I think the entire pike county area! Everyone that knows me knows what a wonderful mother I am! My only problem is my income. In private he even says that himself. Now he's engaged to the biggest whore of pike county and his parenting skills have plummeted to a all new low. The effects of his parenting or should I say the lack there of parenting has really effected my children. They are seriously depressed and my daughter has gained 70lbs since the divorce because he forces her to eat because he said she was too pretty and that he wanted her either ugly or a lesbian because he did not want any boy looking at her! She's so unhappy. All three are unhappy the boys too. Whenever I get lucky enough to get them they cry and cry not wanting to go back. He screams at me and tells me that I'm not the mother anymore and that I'm just a sorry piece of shit, that his new Whore is going to be their mother and that I only hurt them emotionally when I call and when I tell them that I love them and miss them! He claims its emotional abuse! That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard! I pray to God that Karma will catch up with his ass! He don't deserve a thing other than his new STD's his Whore will give him if she ain't already! He's a pure but hole and a liar. He has no clue I'm taking him back to court for a revision on the custody case and getting him for neglect on the kids, parental alienation and slander! Man I would love to be a fly on that wall when he finds out his bubble has been bursted! I'm a great mother and nobody is going to get in between me and my kids!
DixieDaddy

Louisville, KY

#7 Aug 18, 2016
Non Custodial Parent? Want equal custodial rights to your child or children?
JOIN FREE: Federal Class Action for U.S. Child Custody Victims -
Join CAPRA as one of the lead plaintiffs in an upcoming landmark federal class action lawsuit against all 50 States and the Federal Government, if you qualify as:(1) a biological parent whose child custody was unconstitutionally removed without due process; and,(2) I have been directly impacted by that during the last four years, i.e., within the statute of limitations. This class action is on behalf of *both* types of "family court" -- for wrongful victims of divorce-and-similar-with-kids *and* for wrongful victims of child protection services -- and includes suing on behalf of ANY parent affected by either "family court" type.
It's totally free to join, and the federal court relief being demanded includes the full restoral of your child custody rights under law, plus a nice share of the large amount in civil damages expected. Check it out!
It just requires entering someone's referral Code to join (feel free to use – 40223JS927) in the CAPRA registration form, located on the bottom of the homepage at
http://parentalrightsclassaction.com
Vilis

Georgetown, KY

#8 Aug 28, 2016
I don't know. Although I'm sure this happens to some it isn't always the case. My ex-wife lcheated for months and finally left. We had a daughter that was around five. Well we both worked but I had taken the extra time those last three years taking her to School and picking her up. I was also the one who bathed and put her to bed every night. If she had a bad dream she would come to my side of the bed and wake me up. I would put her between us both. We agreed on joint custody but it wasn't long before the problems began. She got to where she would not go with her mom. Caused all kinds of heck. Constant fighting and even ended up in Court. But when she told the Judge she wanted to stay with me the ex dropped it all quickly. I allowed it because I wanted her to spend time with her mom. I talked to her about it daily because it got to the point she would scream not wanting to go and I just couldn't let her take her in that shape. I never programmed the child. Never said a bad word about her in front of the child. Matter of fact she was spreading all kinds of flat out lies. Claiming I was the one cheating and then I got accused of doing dope. You name it and she was telling one of my family members bull. The truth was I was trying in every way to fix their problems. Even asking daily for her to go stay one night and give it another try. The problem was her mom had not laid the foundation of a good relationship for years before leaving. I was the one who took care of her. In time she finally gave in and with a little push at times she gave her another chance and now they are close. Well she is grown now and be safe to say closer to her mom then me now. Somewhere in pushing her to go visit mom I was basically forgotten. Now if you want to imagine some pain. She came up last thanksgiving for a few minutes. She gave me the former years X-mas present she never took the time to bring. She had came up about a week before that x-mas and I gave her money as usual. But not a word Xmas or even the eve. To make it even worse I got sick and had to spend two solid months in the Hospital. Yes that was two whole months. Came by one time. One single time and stayed five minutes. Well I gotta quit there I get a little torn up thinking about it. Maybe I'm just too soft hearted and have never said a thing to her that it bothers me, but it da@# sure does.
KarenMichelle

Bardstown, KY

#9 Oct 22, 2016
Vilis wrote:
I don't know. Although I'm sure this happens to some it isn't always the case. My ex-wife lcheated for months and finally left. We had a daughter that was around five. Well we both worked but I had taken the extra time those last three years taking her to School and picking her up. I was also the one who bathed and put her to bed every night. If she had a bad dream she would come to my side of the bed and wake me up. I would put her between us both. We agreed on joint custody but it wasn't long before the problems began. She got to where she would not go with her mom. Caused all kinds of heck. Constant fighting and even ended up in Court. But when she told the Judge she wanted to stay with me the ex dropped it all quickly. I allowed it because I wanted her to spend time with her mom. I talked to her about it daily because it got to the point she would scream not wanting to go and I just couldn't let her take her in that shape. I never programmed the child. Never said a bad word about her in front of the child. Matter of fact she was spreading all kinds of flat out lies. Claiming I was the one cheating and then I got accused of doing dope. You name it and she was telling one of my family members bull. The truth was I was trying in every way to fix their problems. Even asking daily for her to go stay one night and give it another try. The problem was her mom had not laid the foundation of a good relationship for years before leaving. I was the one who took care of her. In time she finally gave in and with a little push at times she gave her another chance and now they are close. Well she is grown now and be safe to say closer to her mom then me now. Somewhere in pushing her to go visit mom I was basically forgotten. Now if you want to imagine some pain. She came up last thanksgiving for a few minutes. She gave me the former years X-mas present she never took the time to bring. She had came up about a week before that x-mas and I gave her money as usual. But not a word Xmas or even the eve. To make it even worse I got sick and had to spend two solid months in the Hospital. Yes that was two whole months. Came by one time. One single time and stayed five minutes. Well I gotta quit there I get a little torn up thinking about it. Maybe I'm just too soft hearted and have never said a thing to her that it bothers me, but it da@# sure does.
I went thru the same thing with my son. He didn't wAnt to go and when he did he would throw up the whole weekend we went to counsiling 2 different times but he still never wanted to go.. He is his father's only child and even at 12 cried not to go but at 17 his dad got divorced he went to stay with him when he got a summer job as his home was closer to the job but came home to me on weekends then he started vocational school which too was closer and now at 23 they are best friends. Yes it makes me sad because you couldn't pull him away from me when he was a child.. I envy their relationship but I know he loves me and we spend time together but not as close as them so I feel your pain ..I do wonder how it will be when he has children I will be jealous but we will see... I hope you are doing well now.... Karen in ky
KarenMichelle

Bardstown, KY

#10 Oct 22, 2016
KarenMichelle wrote:
<quoted text>
I went thru the same thing with my son. He didn't wAnt to go and when he did he would throw up the whole weekend we went to counsiling 2 different times but he still never wanted to go.. He is his father's only child and even at 12 cried not to go but at 17 his dad got divorced he went to stay with him when he got a summer job as his home was closer to the job but came home to me on weekends then he started vocational school which too was closer and now at 23 they are best friends. Yes it makes me sad because you couldn't pull him away from me when he was a child.. I envy their relationship but I know he loves me and we spend time together but not as close as them so I feel your pain ..I do wonder how it will be when he has children I will be jealous but we will see... I hope you are doing well now.... Karen in ky
And btw your not a softie just a living father...
Dylan

Louisville, KY

#11 May 14, 2017
This is not just something experienced by the non custodial parent. I have raised my girls alone 15 years with their Dad always telling them mommy kicked dad out she just stopped loving him (he neglected to tell them he has cheated on me 8 of the 11 years of marriage and I spent the last 3 trying to stay after learning the first 8 his business trips weren't "business"). I was ok with being away from him and didn't want him back as my husband but committed myself to raise my children as parents together and never told anyone about the reality.

Fast forward to his narcicist behavior and he has done everything possible to make the girls think I'm an awful mom even though he's never met their pediatrician in 20 years or been on an overnight field trip. And yes I have a professional career and no he doesn't pay me spousal support.

My oldest daughter is being a teenager and he has told her I'm mean and wants to buy her an Audi.. Seriously... I can't even explain what has passed the last 3 weeks because I can't believe it's happening.

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