Male doctor and your wife
ENLIGHTENED HUSBAND

Norwich, UK

#516 Jul 11, 2012
Mandy wrote:
A man looking at Playboy is very different than a Pap Smear. I can't see what would excite a man about that. Plus when a man gets excited, its pretty easy to tell. I've never seen my doctor sporting wood. I don't know why its okay for men to be taken care of by female nurses & no one cares. They are professionals.
Thousands of years of evolution and recent cultural adaptation have produced in the female instincts to nurture, display and submit their bodies to males. This is part of the chemistry making human reproduction so successful. The vanity modern females display, their desire to attract men and please them and be accepted is part of their core emotional makeup. The male doctor observes this attraction too.

It has been said that “charm in a woman is the same thing as confidence is in the man.” Women seek to attract men and that subconscious desire to please them can lure them into vulnerable situations.

It is common knowledge that many women see men, especially those in positions of power as the men to please. They are seen as the “Alpha Males” and most worthy of receiving their attention and seed. Husband’s anxiety naturally will increase at the exposure of wives to Alpha Males.

Sigmund Freud postulates that “transference” occurs, especially in the context of the patient/physician relationship, and it is complex and problematic. The female perceives the physician as omnipotent healer and powerful and this puts her in a submissive role. Many women also relate to their physicians as a “father figure”. While there is nothing necessarily sexual in that perception, it further puts a woman in a submissive, inferior and vulnerable position. Many husbands worry about this vulnerability at the hands of another man who she may see as her “heroic healer.”

Transference can sometimes even be to the degree that the husband may end up, at least in the wife’s eyes, as playing an insignificant role in the role of having a baby. That maternity experience can become a relationship between the female and her doctor, as if the doctor were in bed with her that fateful night of conception. The husband is almost seen as beside the point.“The modern trend in obstetrics is to include the husband in prenatal care and delivery so that the physician does not become a substitute image for the husband” Even the ritual of the husband cutting the umbilical cord is meant to include him in the process, as if he were next to insignificant otherwise. Many men find the risk of transference to the doctor as offensive and a bit threatening.

In the daily practice of a gynecology office, it is easy to perceive that intricate emotional problems often lie behind a great number of the physical complaints, symptoms and disturbances that women patients bring to the office. To a great extent, these emotional problems are related to several aspects of the female nature and constitution. Many men are uncomfortable with the notion of another male discussing his marriage and even influencing his wife emotionally.

Patient dependency, vulnerability and gratitude for the care received is often confused with feelings of affection. It is reported that females sometimes have a “crush” on their doctors. Many husbands find this worrisome, especially given the vulnerable nature of gynecological exams.
ENLIGHTENED HUSBAND

Norwich, UK

#517 Jul 11, 2012
The male by evolutionary design IS a sexual predator. 100's of years of evolution have fine tuned his very strong urge to reproduce. The male instinct to spread his DNA is primal to his very existence. Conscious control must be exerted much of the time to repress these basic sexual urges and instincts. Sub-conscious desires coupled with real life experiences feed the realm of fantasy, a place most all men go frequently throughout the day. This visual preoccupation is ingrained in all males to varying degrees. Psychologists have estimated that once a boy aroused to sex, he thinks about it an average of six times an hour, on a slow day. This distraction continues for a man throughout his reproductive years.

This strong sexual drive and mindset is what Mother Nature has given the male. The product of evolutionary reproductive instincts, the male also seeks to protect and defend his female to the point of demanding exclusivity in his intimacy with her with zero tolerance for any other males.

Men have invested so much of their identity, committed so much energy, and squandered so much power in trying to control, avoid, and conquer women because they are so vulnerable to their mysterious power they have over men. Men have generally been reluctant to discuss their feelings, until recently. The Internet has opened up a world of discussion and shared feelings.

The sight of the naked female and the sexual response in the male mind is well understood without the need for further discussion.

Most husbands know that the exposure of their wives genitalia to a male gynecologist is a concern, but that same sight coupled with her facial expression such as a smile at the same time can be enormously arousing, if even to the subconscious mind of the male physician. Men do not trust other men, it is that simple, and due to the fact that men know how 'men' think.

Few men will accept the risk that their beloved wives might be part of the sexual fantasy of another male. The urge to protect and defend them is naturally ingrained in men through years of evolution and natural selection.
ENLIGHTENED HUSBAND

Norwich, UK

#518 Jul 11, 2012
Male Doctor wrote:
Speaking from experience, I know for a fact that men can and do get excited from time to time while examining females. I have spoken to my male colleagues and they report similar experiences. One male colleague of mine told me that he has gotten erections while doing exams. He has on occasion refused to exam patients because of intense sexual attraction. He is well liked and well respected by his patients.

Another colleague of mine referred to a patient's vagina a beautiful box. Why do I mention these things? Because it is not uncommon. A woman has no way at all of knowing because she cannot possibly read his mind. Most doctors have learned to hide their feelings very well, otherwise they would not last long on the job.
I know you male gyno lovers will never change. My wife goes to a female doctor for gyn exams and always will. I have since given up the practice of gyn exams because I know they are wrong (for me) and there are too many good alternatives these days unlike 20-30 years ago.

Keep on you male gyno lovers perpetuating the myth that doctors are immune to sexual attraction during gyno exams. It just isn't true.

Been there, done that.
When my Wife last went for a gynecological procedure I asked if I could be with her as I felt uneasy about a male gynecologists and wanted to know what they do.

After the appointment I felt quite upset, I told my Wife how I was feeling. She got upset and tried to justify the 'medical procedure'. Afterwards I was left with that gutted feeling, like she had been unfaithful in some way even though both were doing 'acceptable' things within our understanding and conditioning towards intimate medical practises and procedures.

My argument was that he (as a red-blooded heterosexual male) was 'sexually intimate' with her and I couldn't/can't understand how he could simply 'switch off' during such an intimate examination? I mean... how does one get more intimate than having an attractive, healthy, young woman cooperate with stripping down, then opening her legs (to order) in front of your face under intense lighting? How does he control his libido as he opens her healthy vagina with a speculum and then thoroughly inspects her internally? What could have he done to a married woman that was any more intimate?(other than the obvious).

He didn't actually do anything other than 'his job', right? But the mere fact that it was such an intimate 'cross-gender' procedure sickened me! It felt wrong!

If you wish to check out what I'm referring to here, there are video clips available on You Tube showing the whole procedure. Simply do a search for 'pelvic examination', but please prepare yourself first and be seated!
MPM

Waynesville, NC

#523 Jul 11, 2012
Mandy wrote:
A man looking at Playboy is very different than a Pap Smear. I can't see what would excite a man about that. Plus when a man gets excited, its pretty easy to tell. I've never seen my doctor sporting wood. I don't know why its okay for men to be taken care of by female nurses & no one cares. They are professionals.
That is not true. I know of a case where a 18 year old virgin girl went to the college infirmary because she had ear infection. The male doctor pushed her into having a pap smear and breast examination which was unnecessasry. A virgin woman cannot get cervical cancer if she has never engaged in any kind of sexual activity because you can only get HPV which causes cervical cancer from sexual activity. There ares several articles including one by a Mayo clinic doctor that said pap smears are usually not necessary for virgins. See http://patientmodesty.com/virginandpapsmear.a... . This male doctor took advantage of many other women. It is so wrong that she went in for an ear infection and then he pushed her into having a pap smear which was not necessary. This male doctor strives to do as many pap smears on young women for his sexual gratification.

I think men doing pap smears on women who they are not married is worse than pornography. Men who look at pornography don't get to tocuh the women's private parts.

Most male doctors who enjoy examining women would hide their feelings. In fact, many male medical students are instructed by their medical school professors to keep those lustful thoughts they have to themselves.
MPM

Waynesville, NC

#524 Jul 11, 2012
ENLIGHTENED HUSBAND wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi Mandy, would you care how your husband felt?
Mandy said her husband didn't care for her to go to a male gynecologist. Many men including my dad were brainwashed that it is okay for male doctors to do anything in the name of medicine. My dad would have never thought about it if I had not brought it to his attention.
MPM

Waynesville, NC

#525 Jul 11, 2012
pailrider wrote:
<quoted text>
Mandy you are not QUALIFIED to comment, you are unable to think like a man. You are totally unqualified and you know it, don't you.
I agree with you that male gynecologists are inappropriate. But at the same time, I think you should be more careful about how you respond to Mandy. I bet that this discussion may have been the first time she has really thought about this issue. Many girls are taught by their moms that male doctors are okay. It is a cultural blind spot. We are taught that doctors are experts on the body and that it is okay for them to do anything. My mom went to a male gynecologist for many years. I started bugging her about it when I was about 10 years old. I never understood how it could be okay for a male gynecologist to do what they did. My mom just saw me as a kid so she didn't listen to me. But after I grew up, she started listening to me. She agrees now that male gynecologists are wrong. She has not been to a male gynecologist since 1999.

I asked mom if she thought that my dad could stay pure in thoughts if he was a gynecologist. She said no. I asked about other men such as her pastor and she said no. She doesn't think male gynecologists can stay pure in mind. I asked her if she ever thought that male gynecologists might be wrong when she was younger and she said no. She said she saw them as professionals and she was taught that they could do anything. If I had never brought this issue to her attention, she would still be like most women who see nothing wrong with male gynecologists.

I am a woman. I was surprised to learn how easy it is for a man to lust after a woman that was not dressed modestly. I just cannot believe that some women preach for you to dress modestly and they see nothing wrong with male gynecologist. I know there is no chance a male gynecologist can stay pure in his mind 100 percent of the time when he examines women's private parts.
James

Glendale, AZ

#526 Jul 11, 2012
Obviously, mandy does not work in healthcare, she has noo idea. She
Has never looked into state medical board websites to see who has
been reprimanded. Neither has she looked at Bon, state board of nursing
sites either.

Mandy is typical of the ignorant and brain washed public. The brain washing
began long ago with tv shows like Marcus welby MD.

Mandy, I will list websites showing you just how many people in healthcare
are unprofessional. Can you handle it?
Mandy

United States

#527 Jul 12, 2012
I do not think that anyone can say every man feels a certain way or does a certain thing. The same goes for women. I am a woman & I do not think that I know what every woman feels or thinks. Everyone is different. As for the person who said doctors only get into the field for the money. Do you have any idea how mcu college & medical schools cost? Most start out hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. They go through 8 years of school. While I would love to make a lot of money, its not a field I would ever try to go into. For one, I would never pass. I don't think becoming a doctor is easy. I am not brainwashed either. My mother never talked to me about doctors. I made the choice on my gyno by myself. Once my doctor retires, I will probably start seeing one of the women in the practice as she is the one who delivered my baby. I like her. But for now, I will stay with the doctor who found precancerous cells & took care of it over one of his other associates who just blew off my concerns, & that was a woman.
disagree

Elizabethtown, KY

#528 Jul 12, 2012
Mandy wrote:
I do not think that anyone can say every man feels a certain way or does a certain thing. The same goes for women. I am a woman & I do not think that I know what every woman feels or thinks. Everyone is different. As for the person who said doctors only get into the field for the money. Do you have any idea how mcu college & medical schools cost? Most start out hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. They go through 8 years of school. While I would love to make a lot of money, its not a field I would ever try to go into. For one, I would never pass. I don't think becoming a doctor is easy. I am not brainwashed either. My mother never talked to me about doctors. I made the choice on my gyno by myself. Once my doctor retires, I will probably start seeing one of the women in the practice as she is the one who delivered my baby. I like her. But for now, I will stay with the doctor who found precancerous cells & took care of it over one of his other associates who just blew off my concerns, & that was a woman.
wrong, because generally speaking men are the same, they are attracted to visual and tactile stimulation, so your premise is false, as is your worldview
Mandy

United States

#529 Jul 13, 2012
So all men are the same in your opinion? Then all men cheat, beat their wives, & rape women then? You hear about these things all the time so I guess all men do this. I don't think so. You can not say all men think the same, just as you cannot say all women do.

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#530 Jul 13, 2012
Mandy wrote:
So all men are the same in your opinion? Then all men cheat, beat their wives, & rape women then? You hear about these things all the time so I guess all men do this. I don't think so. You can not say all men think the same, just as you cannot say all women do.
THE SHEER DEPTH OF THIS ISSUE...

Most women decide AGAINST reporting SEXUALLY ABUSIVE Male Gynecologists and Doctors as medical specialists know EXACTLY how to avoid any 'actual' physical signs of abuse therefore they have little or no evidence especially if the Doctor has a 'loyal' chaperone (who's job would probably be in jeopardy if she was a 'tale-teller'). Typically, the 'abused' woman will not want to shame/embarrass herself by reporting such an incident. Also it is quite typical that the patient will be concerned that she will not be believed either, along with the fact that she will be constantly 'reassured' that "he's a good Doctor", "Doctors are professionals", or "you must not ruin a Doctor's career", "you are just feeling emotional", etc. So the abused woman usually ends up keeping the incident under wraps rather than 'rock the boat'.

What's even more worrying... the hormone 'Oxytocin'(which can be quite easily released into the patient's bloodstream through stimulation of the patient's cervix by the Doctor). Oxytocin release (a natural hormone within every woman) is actually preventing women from reporting their abusers as once Oxytocin is released, the patient will feel calmness, trust, respect and even admiration for the Doctor that triggered the release of the hormone. I'm pretty sure that Doctors are very knowledgeable about Oxytocin release and know how it works!

OXYTOCIN: is a powerful hormone and a neurotransmitter within the brain. This hormone plays a huge role in pair bonding (mating). This hormone is released during stimulation to female erogenous zones (especially genitalia). Oxytocin is commonly described as the 'hormone of love'. This tiny chemical, released from the hypothalamus region of the brain, gives rat mothers the urge to nurse their pups, keeps male prairie voles monogamous and, even more remarkable, makes people trust each other... "trust him, he's the Doctor!" ('Oxytocinally' speaking).

http://www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&gs_nf=1&am...
Mandy

United States

#531 Jul 13, 2012
I do not ever feel calm after an exam. I'm not saying that no doctor has never taken advantage of a patient. I'm sure that some women haven't reported their doctors, but now it is common for people to sue for anything, so I think more women would come forward & tell if they are abused. I have never heard any friend or family say anything like that about the doctor I see & not all of them like him, but its not because of any sexual abuse claims.
bible

Elizabethtown, KY

#532 Jul 13, 2012
Mandy wrote:
So all men are the same in your opinion? Then all men cheat, beat their wives, & rape women then? You hear about these things all the time so I guess all men do this. I don't think so. You can not say all men think the same, just as you cannot say all women do.
while it is true that men are not as bad as they could be, it is equally true that all men are evil at heart(Jer 17:9), and need salvtion. Ask yourself this, would the bible condone or condemn many of the issues in our world today?(abortion, gay rights, drug abuse, or even intimate care from someone that is not your spouse)
MPM

Eatonton, GA

#534 Jul 14, 2012
Mandy wrote:
So all men are the same in your opinion? Then all men cheat, beat their wives, & rape women then? You hear about these things all the time so I guess all men do this. I don't think so. You can not say all men think the same, just as you cannot say all women do.
There are so many excellent men. That is not the point of this discussion. Even men with strong commitments to purity will have a hard time staying pure in mind when they see scantily clothed women or naked women. Do you really think male gynecologists can stay pure in their thoughts?
MPM

Eatonton, GA

#535 Jul 14, 2012
Mandy wrote:
I do not ever feel calm after an exam. I'm not saying that no doctor has never taken advantage of a patient. I'm sure that some women haven't reported their doctors, but now it is common for people to sue for anything, so I think more women would come forward & tell if they are abused. I have never heard any friend or family say anything like that about the doctor I see & not all of them like him, but its not because of any sexual abuse claims.
It is extremely hard for a woman to report sexual abuse by doctors. We are taught that we should not question the medical industry. It took years for the truth about Jerry Sandusky to come out. It was hard for his victims to come forward.

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#537 Jul 15, 2012
I'm thinking this guy is about 15 years old and hasn't a clue about what is happening during these exams. Thank heavens for the Dr's that "touch and feel" the woman's breast that lumps were found and treatment started to save her life from breast cancer. Thank heavens for the Dr.s that take specimens from inside the woman's vagina that catch early cancer to be treated. These are just a few things that are obtained from these exams. They are not looking at the female as a sex object during this time, they are looking at her as a patient and someone they provide a service to. Give him a few years, he just needs to grow up.
man

Elizabethtown, KY

#538 Jul 15, 2012
Meddler wrote:
I'm thinking this guy is about 15 years old and hasn't a clue about what is happening during these exams. Thank heavens for the Dr's that "touch and feel" the woman's breast that lumps were found and treatment started to save her life from breast cancer. Thank heavens for the Dr.s that take specimens from inside the woman's vagina that catch early cancer to be treated. These are just a few things that are obtained from these exams. They are not looking at the female as a sex object during this time, they are looking at her as a patient and someone they provide a service to. Give him a few years, he just needs to grow up.
no, this has been an issue with mst of us all of our adult lives, many of us are actually middle aged men that do in act know 'what goes on during an exam' and are adamatly against male doctors doing these exams. It is way over the top for a male to do the exams, especially when there are woman that are capable of doing said procedures.
Mandy

United States

#539 Jul 16, 2012
Pailrider you just made a generalization about women by your comment. I hate shopping, don't wear much jewelry at all, I already watch "boy" movies, burp, fart, spit, & swear. If I went to medical school & became a doctor & saw a naked man, I would not be thinking about his penis, but what I could do to help him & treat him. I think you need to get your mind out of the gutter.

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#540 Jul 16, 2012
Mandy wrote:
I do not ever feel calm after an exam. I'm not saying that no doctor has never taken advantage of a patient. I'm sure that some women haven't reported their doctors, but now it is common for people to sue for anything, so I think more women would come forward & tell if they are abused. I have never heard any friend or family say anything like that about the doctor I see & not all of them like him, but its not because of any sexual abuse claims.
I'm glad that women are starting to feel that they have the power to come forward and report these monsters :) Thank you for that reasurance Mandy, it helps.

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#541 Jul 16, 2012
CK wrote:
This oxytocin angle is very interesting. While it possibly plays a role in protecting some medical/sexual abusers from exposure and penalty (agreed, the average physician would be aware of its potential usefulness), certainly in many other cases it might not be a significant emolient. Mr. Weston's (where the heck is he lately, anyway?) database of abusive physicians who got busted and sanctioned will attest to that.

The part about "you must not ruin a Doctor's career" really resonated with me in light of a past experience. Those are almost the exact words my lady spoke when I tried to convince her to take action against an endocrinologist who undressed her and (I'm certain) abused her four years ago. That incident, in her words, "creeped [her] out" sufficiently that she walked away from the program of diagnosis which had landed her in the guy's office in the first place. Luckily, it turned out to be nothing - just another instance of a major corporate clinic making a big deal out of something noted during a routine screening.

After she initially described her experience to me, I pressured her to make an issue of what had happened. She balked, citing that "nothing" had actually happened anyway - that the doctor had not examined her breasts or genitalia, and that she was puzzled as to why she had been made to get undressed and into a gown. However, the records from that visit tell a very different story, and I've always wondered as to her mixed reaction ("creeped out," yet reluctant to cause trouble for the creep). Maybe there's an explanation here?
Thank you CK

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