Fourth of July "People's Parade" in E...

Fourth of July "People's Parade" in East El Paso

There are 12 comments on the El Paso Times story from Jul 4, 2014, titled Fourth of July "People's Parade" in East El Paso. In it, El Paso Times reports that:

James McCormick and his son, James McCormick III, watch the Fourth of July "People's Parade" today in East El Paso.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at El Paso Times.

SJM

El Paso, TX

#1 Jul 4, 2014
This was a lovely parade but we had quite a wild time afterward.

We went to a park afterward to have a picnic and watch the fireworks. My kids were playing, I was eating and the wife was sucking down a lot of booze. Eventually, she has to go to the bathroom so she leaves to go find a Port-a-Potty.

She’s gone for quite awhile but I assumed there’s a long line outside the crapper since the park is packed. It turns out that the wife is standing in line next to a handsome stranger who strikes up a conversation with her. She assumes he’s just being friendly but he can tell that she’s half in the bag and is eyeballing her up and down. Eventually they both get to the front of the line and go in next to each other. However, instead of draining his lizard, the stranger crawls up on top of the toilet to peek out the vent into the unit next door. When my wife pulls town her shorts to tinkle, he sees the most perfectly shaped buns he’s ever laid eyes on.

When they both come back out, she thanks him for keeping him company and starts to head back to her family. He has other ideas and asks if he can buy her a hot dog at the concession stand. Still feeling the effects of the rum she has been downing, she replies that she doesn’t want a little wiener but she’s definitely in the mood for a large Polish Sausage. He walks her over to the stand but instead of ordering, he takes her behind the refreshment stand and tells her that he’s got 9 ½ inches of love for her in his pants. They start going at it hot and heavy, when all of a sudden she gets a wild idea. Although her husband has wanted to bone her up the butt throughout their relationship, she was always reticent to take it in the backdoor. But now she’s so turned on that she throws caution to the wind. She pulls down her shorts, turns around and bends over and orders the man to drill her in the behind. He whips out a massive boner but knows that it’s going to hurt like hell unless he finds something to lube his giant dong with. Looking around, he spots a packet of mustard on the ground that someone else had left. He opens it, squirts it on his rigid tool and proceeds to butt-jam my wife like crazy.

Soon the spicy mustard begins to burn her delicate butthole. She starts howling and moaning from the pain, screaming that her bung is on fire. He mistakenly assumes she’s getting off on it and understood her to be asking whether or not he liked her hot butt cheeks. He kept driving it home until finally, with a grunt, he unleashed an enormous load all the way deep inside of her bonghole. No sooner was he spent than he hiked up his drawers, said “Thanks for the sweet action, babe” and made his way off into the night.

My wife slowly walked back to her family, moving very gingerly from the discomfort. When I saw her, I assumed she’s been hitting the sauce again while she was away but as she gets closer I can see that her hair is disheveled, her makeup is smeared and she has a glazed look in her eyes. I told her the fireworks were about to begin but she responds by saying she just took a firecracker up the butt.
L Morales

El Paso, TX

#2 Jul 4, 2014
Is there any chance that she could just be tricking you abd instead she just took a super gigante camote? It happens you know if you save it for a couple of days and then crap it out.
SJM

El Paso, TX

#3 Jul 5, 2014
L Morales wrote:
Is there any chance that she could just be tricking you abd instead she just took a super gigante camote? It happens you know if you save it for a couple of days and then crap it out.
Speaking of giant logs, I have one hell of a problem and I'm hoping someone in here can put aside the insults for a moment and help me. I need to find some blueprints for an outhouse. I am very handy with tools and woodworking so I can build it myself to save some dough, but I need the plans. The back story is that I recently purchased a side of beef for the first time and my wife and I are loving it. Every night we feast on beef: burgers, steaks, short ribs, chuck roasts, etc. We're having the time of our lives feasting on this delicious beef. The problem is that all this rich food is creating havoc with my bowls. Every morning I have to squeeze out several giant logs after I process all this delicious beef. These are world class turds to say the least. Anyway, they are hitting the water in my crapper at breakneck speed, almost like an Acapulco cliff diver and they're creating such a splash that the water laps up and soaks my bare butt cheeks. The end result is that I have some seriously soggy buns after I'm done with my business. I figured that if I get an outhouse, the dropping distance for these logs I'm shooting out will be sufficient to ward off such major splashing and my buttocks will remain nice and dry. I figure about a 10-12 foot drop will work nicely. As a side benefit, the terrible smells will remain outside instead of stinking up the whole GD house. So if someone would kindly supply me with the original blueprints for one of these, I would greatly appreciate it and I'll even have you over to enjoy some of this tasty beef one night.(12 oz. or less, of course.)
L Morales

United States

#4 Jul 5, 2014
That would the job. But you have to look at it like a business decision, is it cost effective, will you let the neighbors use it. Etc... another thing you could try is as you fire a missle is to pinch it at the half way point thus cutting the effects in half. Or drop the missle then cut it in half with something disposable is it could flush in the first try.
SJM

El Paso, TX

#5 Jul 5, 2014
L Morales wrote:
That would the job. But you have to look at it like a business decision, is it cost effective, will you let the neighbors use it. Etc... another thing you could try is as you fire a missle is to pinch it at the half way point thus cutting the effects in half. Or drop the missle then cut it in half with something disposable is it could flush in the first try.
Those are damn good tips. I think I will give them a try because I need to find a solution. My mother always said I was born to work with crap and she may be right - I think I'll devise an experiment to see which is best, using my butt cheeks as the control and the size of the log as the variable.
L Morales

United States

#6 Jul 5, 2014
SJM wrote:
<quoted text>
Those are damn good tips. I think I will give them a try because I need to find a solution. My mother always said I was born to work with crap and she may be right - I think I'll devise an experiment to see which is best, using my butt cheeks as the control and the size of the log as the variable.
Back before cell phones I found a huge log bigger then the drain in the toilet the biggest i have ever seen at a restroom at El Paso High. Wish they had cell phones I think i could have won some kind of prize like proving their s a bigfoot or something. Thank god i didnt go to el paso high with that monster there.
Shane Corson

El Paso, TX

#7 Jul 7, 2014
SJM wrote:
This was a lovely parade but we had quite a wild time afterward.
We went to a park afterward to have a picnic and watch the fireworks. My kids were playing, I was eating and the wife was sucking down a lot of booze. Eventually, she has to go to the bathroom so she leaves to go find a Port-a-Potty.
She’s gone for quite awhile but I assumed there’s a long line outside the crapper since the park is packed. It turns out that the wife is standing in line next to a handsome stranger who strikes up a conversation with her. She assumes he’s just being friendly but he can tell that she’s half in the bag and is eyeballing her up and down. Eventually they both get to the front of the line and go in next to each other. However, instead of draining his lizard, the stranger crawls up on top of the toilet to peek out the vent into the unit next door. When my wife pulls town her shorts to tinkle, he sees the most perfectly shaped buns he’s ever laid eyes on.
When they both come back out, she thanks him for keeping him company and starts to head back to her family. He has other ideas and asks if he can buy her a hot dog at the concession stand. Still feeling the effects of the rum she has been downing, she replies that she doesn’t want a little wiener but she’s definitely in the mood for a large Polish Sausage. He walks her over to the stand but instead of ordering, he takes her behind the refreshment stand and tells her that he’s got 9 ½ inches of love for her in his pants. They start going at it hot and heavy, when all of a sudden she gets a wild idea. Although her husband has wanted to bone her up the butt throughout their relationship, she was always reticent to take it in the backdoor. But now she’s so turned on that she throws caution to the wind. She pulls down her shorts, turns around and bends over and orders the man to drill her in the behind. He whips out a massive boner but knows that it’s going to hurt like hell unless he finds something to lube his giant dong with. Looking around, he spots a packet of mustard on the ground that someone else had left. He opens it, squirts it on his rigid tool and proceeds to butt-jam my wife like crazy.
Soon the spicy mustard begins to burn her delicate butthole. She starts howling and moaning from the pain, screaming that her bung is on fire. He mistakenly assumes she’s getting off on it and understood her to be asking whether or not he liked her hot butt cheeks. He kept driving it home until finally, with a grunt, he unleashed an enormous load all the way deep inside of her bonghole. No sooner was he spent than he hiked up his drawers, said “Thanks for the sweet action, babe” and made his way off into the night.
My wife slowly walked back to her family, moving very gingerly from the discomfort. When I saw her, I assumed she’s been hitting the sauce again while she was away but as she gets closer I can see that her hair is disheveled, her makeup is smeared and she has a glazed look in her eyes. I told her the fireworks were about to begin but she responds by saying she just took a firecracker up the butt.
Flavor Flav is in hot water after his fireworks show went awry. Dude could be back in the slam. So what if your wife got humped? At least you're not having your butt hauled in like Flavor Flav did.
Church Goer

United States

#8 Jul 7, 2014
Shane Corson wrote:
<quoted text>
Flavor Flav is in hot water after his fireworks show went awry. Dude could be back in the slam. So what if your wife got humped? At least you're not having your butt hauled in like Flavor.
Flavor Flav is americana doubt he'll do any time.
respecting our traditions

Albuquerque, NM

#9 May 30, 2015
This was a nice story about our country's independence day traditions but the comments posted here just ruin the whole sentiment. As always a few have to ruin it for the rest. Where are the topix moderators?
Nigel Havers

London, UK

#10 May 30, 2015
respecting our traditions wrote:
This was a nice story about our country's independence day traditions but the comments posted here just ruin the whole sentiment. As always a few have to ruin it for the rest. Where are the topix moderators?
To be honest sir I find the whole story racist
And Anti - British
It's like a friend keep rubbing his friends nose in it
That he gave his wife a good shagging
I am personally going to write to Mr Obama and ask him if he could ban 4th July celebrations and replace it with Pizz in a boot day or hug a Mexicon
Day !
fred smith

El Paso, TX

#11 May 30, 2015
Nigel Havers wrote:
<quoted text>
To be honest sir I find the whole story racist
And Anti - British
It's like a friend keep rubbing his friends nose in it
That he gave his wife a good shagging
I am personally going to write to Mr Obama and ask him if he could ban 4th July celebrations and replace it with Pizz in a boot day or hug a Mexicon
Day !
Go sit on a hot sausage you wanker.
huey goins

El Paso, TX

#12 May 30, 2015
Nigel Havers wrote:
<quoted text>
To be honest sir I find the whole story racist
And Anti - British
It's like a friend keep rubbing his friends nose in it
That he gave his wife a good shagging
I am personally going to write to Mr Obama and ask him if he could ban 4th July celebrations and replace it with Pizz in a boot day or hug a Mexicon
Day !
One of the things that makes us better than you foreigners is that we respect our leaders. For example, anyone with half a brain, like me, can see how hot our first lady is. She has gorgeous buns, a really nice butt and also a super hot ass. But that doesn't mean we spank bank her. We treat our leaders with courtesy and respect and dignity. On the other hand, you foreigners were ogling and writing songs about Lady Di and stroking off to her bikini photos before you ate your bangers and mash each day. So yeah.

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