Let Birth Mothers Keep Anonymity

Full story: Hartford Courant

I am horrified by the proposal of state Sens. Bill Finch and Ed Meyer regarding adoption records in Connecticut [Page 1, May 30, "Unlocking The Past"]. I was adopted as an infant in the early 1970s, and I ...

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Lil Em-Kel

Palm Coast, FL

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#1
Jun 1, 2007
 
re: Honor Troops By Noting Success

Alison Nichols said was has to be said and she is absolutely correct.

Since: Jan 07

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#2
Jun 1, 2007
 
Why should birth mothers have all the rights, while we adoptees have none?

I didn't ask for this, if my birth mother had kept her legs closed I might not have had a lifetime of unanswered questions.

She deserves NOTHING.
Laurie Dunfield-Baker

United States

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#3
Jun 1, 2007
 
Birth parents have the very same privacy rights as every other citizen. Adoptees are the only persons in our society who have been stripped of the right to access our own original birth certificates. This is unequal treatment under the law and discrimination.

Birth mothers were never guaranteed anonymity, nor can they be due to the nature of how adoption takes place. The original birth certificate (OBC) is sealed only upon the finalization of an adoption, not at the time of relinquishment or even at the time of placement in an adoptive home.

If an adoption fails, the OBC is unsealed and becomes once again the only legal birth certificate for that child.

No one in our society is guaranteed anonymity outside of the Witness Protection Program. Our society allows for free association. The government does not intervene unless one party asks for and proves a threat to physical safety to receive a temporary restraining order.

Birth records haven't always been sealed. Some states have never sealed them. Some states have reopened them. Some states had open records up until the 80's.

Over 90% of birth parents have stated a desire for records to be opened, and have stated they were never told of any promise or guarantee of anonymity, nor did they want one.

Birth records began sealing in order to protect adoptive families from birth parents finding them, and in order to make it appear that the adoptee was born into that family. Bastardy and infertility used to hold great shame and people felt the need to keep it as secret as possible.

So, what anonymity are we talking about here? Oh, the one that never existed.
judy taylor

Glastonbury, CT

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#4
Jun 1, 2007
 
I agree with finch and will go one step further. I am a birthmother who surrendered in 1963. I believe adoptees have the right to all their information at age of majority. I think this new bill should pass but I believe it should be retroactive. Why should there b e such a gap when informatiion is not allowed. Let those people who really don't want to be found sign a waiver. Most birthmothers about 95% or more. would like to give their children information that would help them have healthier and happier lives. Open the birth records for adoptee's at age of majority 18-21 years of age. It could be life or death for some not to have their information.
Jay Tee

Greenfield, MA

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#5
Jun 1, 2007
 
Lets see..... moms may trick men into being fathers, exclude the fathers from the reproductive decisions, yet make them pay, take the kids in a divorce, or abort the babies if they like, even in the 8th month, get someone charged with murder if the fetus is killed during pregnancy, smoke like chimneys while pregnant, breast feed them in inappropriate places, abandon them after birth by dropping them off at a hospital, and now remain anonymous after abandoning them.

If there are going to be any obligations or responsibilities that mothers are held to with respect to babies, would someone please email me?
Jay Tee

Greenfield, MA

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#6
Jun 1, 2007
 
Darn it I forgot- if you are a hot blond teacher you can sleep with minors and not go to jail.
joan

Tucson, AZ

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#7
Jun 1, 2007
 
Hi, ct was open until 1993.
Learn the laws, and see if they just reverse what they did in 1993, then everything will be back the was everyone knew. OPEN.!!!!!
Joan
Jay Tee wrote:
Lets see..... moms may trick men into being fathers, exclude the fathers from the reproductive decisions, yet make them pay, take the kids in a divorce, or abort the babies if they like, even in the 8th month, get someone charged with murder if the fetus is killed during pregnancy, smoke like chimneys while pregnant, breast feed them in inappropriate places, abandon them after birth by dropping them off at a hospital, and now remain anonymous after abandoning them.
If there are going to be any obligations or responsibilities that mothers are held to with respect to babies, would someone please email me?
Jay Tee

Greenfield, MA

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#8
Jun 1, 2007
 
'Ct was open'

Am I supposed to know what you are talking about?

Actually I have all 11,253 of the 11,254 laws of connecticut memorized. Its only that last one I haven't had time for.

You know them all too, I assume.
Cully

Pahrump, NV

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#9
Jun 1, 2007
 
Barry Westcott wrote: "If this bill passes, I wonder how many women might choose..."

and there we have it... adoption, abortion, abandonment at a safe haven or in a trash can, it is all someone's CHOICE. The mind set that chooses abortion is not the same as the one that chooses abandonment, and the one that chooses adoption is not the same as either of the other two.
No one has the right to dictate someone else's choices. Just like no one has the right to hold all black haired, brown eyed men guilty of murder because a man with black hair and brown eyes murdered someone. If someone violates someone else's privacy then it is up to the victim to file a complaint but you can not indite an entire segment of the population on the possibility that one of them may commit the violation.
Amy

United States

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#10
Jun 1, 2007
 
How many natural mothers is it going to take to prove that they want this so called privacy? 99% of natural mothers in Oregon and New Hampshire want contact with their children. They WANT to know how their own children turned out. Many mothers have already posted here.

The very reason that I want access to my original birth certificate is to have a document that accurately records my birth. That document will help prove that I am an American citizen so that I may go out of the country. Right now my AMENDED birth certificate is not even complete. I would be considered a terrorist because of my certificate alone. The State Department has changed the rules for passports. So because of this I am a prisoner in my own country.

In Oregon, adoption has increased since the implementation of their adoptee access laws. Natural mothers, adoptees and the younger crowd of adoptive parents are wanting truthful information. When are you, the Right to Life groups going to stop and listen to us living adoption? How many times do we have to scream the truth at you before you stop listen and research? Even the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute's research study proved this. When the social workers of the United States support adoptee access to their own records are you ever going to listen? When there are groups like Concerned United Birthparents and OriginsUSA that support the rights of adoptees and their natural families having access to that elusive original birth certificate, when are you going to listen?

In the states that have adoptee access, adoption rates are some of highest and abortions rates are some of the lowest? We have statistical information supporting these facts. Kansas has the most liberal laws regarding abortion yet they have the lowest abortion rates in the COUNTRY. When are you going to listen? When the high courts in Tennessee and Oregon have both come to the conclusion adoptees should have access to their very records that pertain to their birth, when are you going to listen.

Since: Jan 07

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#11
Jun 2, 2007
 
"The very reason that I want access to my original birth certificate is to have a document that accurately records my birth. That document will help prove that I am an American citizen so that I may go out of the country. Right now my AMENDED birth certificate is not even complete. I would be considered a terrorist because of my certificate alone."

OMG God Amy, that's terrible, I'm so sorry. These laws make me very, very angry. We are innocent victims!

Since: Feb 07

Never forgotten

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#12
Jun 2, 2007
 
Jay Tee wrote:
Lets see..... moms may trick men into being fathers, exclude the fathers from the reproductive decisions, yet make them pay, take the kids in a divorce, or abort the babies if they like, even in the 8th month, get someone charged with murder if the fetus is killed during pregnancy, smoke like chimneys while pregnant, breast feed them in inappropriate places, abandon them after birth by dropping them off at a hospital, and now remain anonymous after abandoning them.
If there are going to be any obligations or responsibilities that mothers are held to with respect to babies, would someone please email me?
OK, but are you implying that men never do anything wrong? They don't walk out the women they've gotten pregnant? They don't walk out on their kids? They don't put up a fight over paying support? They never beat their pregnant wives/ girlfriends? They never push their pregnant girlfriends to have abortions? They take responsibility for birth control? They never smoke around their pregnant girlfriends/ wives?

A guess all me are saints huh?
joan

Tucson, AZ

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#13
Jun 2, 2007
 
Hi, Adoptees used to be able to request their orig. birth cert and get all info. Health, and parents names etc.
All this changed around 1993/1995
So, I don't know why they don't put things back to the way it was.
Joan
Jay Tee wrote:
'Ct was open'
Am I supposed to know what you are talking about?
Actually I have all 11,253 of the 11,254 laws of connecticut memorized. Its only that last one I haven't had time for.
You know them all too, I assume.
joan

Tucson, AZ

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#14
Jun 2, 2007
 
Obtaining Non-Identifying Information:
Non-identifying information is available to adopted adults and adoptive parents or legal guardians of adoptees. Birth parents may leave updated information in files.
in
Arizona Want to adopt? Pregnant? click here Obtaining Identifying Information:
Identifying information is provided through an Adoption Registry.
Using the Adoption Registry:
State law requires each agency to maintain an adoption registry. Adopted adults age 18 or older can receive identifying information on their birth parents if the birth parents have filed their consent with the registry. If consent is not on file, the birth parents will be contacted for consent. Birth parents and birth siblings can receive identifying information regarding the adopted adult if consent is on file. If consent is not on file, a search will be conducted for the adopted adult age 18 or older to obtain consent to release information to the birth parents.
Contact:
Connecticut Department of Children and Families
Office of Foster and Adoption Services
505 Hudson Street
Hartford, CT 06106

Obtaining an Original Birth Certificate:
An adoptee must petition the court in which the adoption was finalized to receive.
Statutes
Citation: General Statutes of Connecticut (1998), Sections 45a-706 to 45a-770
Arizona
Web Site: http://www.cga.state.ct.us
Contact: Connecticut State Library
Law and Legislative Reference Unit
Jay Tee

Greenfield, MA

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#15
Jun 3, 2007
 
Maxie wrote:
<quoted text>
OK, but are you implying that men never do anything wrong? They don't walk out the women they've gotten pregnant? They don't walk out on their kids? They don't put up a fight over paying support? They never beat their pregnant wives/ girlfriends? They never push their pregnant girlfriends to have abortions? They take responsibility for birth control? They never smoke around their pregnant girlfriends/ wives?
A guess all me are saints huh?
No, not at all. Men do plenty of wrong. Too much in fact, and it's not o.k., and it should definitely, definitely be punished/addressed.
but I what I was getting at was that in each of those cases, the law just blindly favors the female.

Here's a stark example-
Some drunk no-good guy punches a woman and she loses her baby. Obviously horrible. Guy is charged with murder, rightly so.
Yet that same woman could have that same fetus aborted the next week if she chose to. See the uh, slight discrepancy?

A lot of guys are noticing it these days.
It's getting a bit ridiculus. Again, not ok that guys do bad stuff. But the law will come down on them. Not so in the case of women.
As a guy, you are never supposed to say this stuff- but I think it needs to be said. Seems like women are offered many avenues of escape from the greatest responsibility. For men it's not so.

I'd feel bad enough abandoning a child. But to compound it by remaining hidden?? How upsetting would that be to the adoptee? What about serious medical issues?
Amy

United States

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#16
Jun 3, 2007
 
Jay Tee This bill is not about who did worse. What this bill is about is gving adoptees access to the very document that accurately records their birth.

If you look at the other article and the 400 plus responses, there is at least 90 % of natural mothers on that list. They support an adoptee's right to his original birth certificate. The sad part for them is that they don't have that same access. I being an adoptee believe in their right to have a copy of it as well. The laws concerning adoptee access should be made by those actually living adoption. They should not be made by the Right to Life Groups, adoption agencies, and adoption attorneys. The Right to Life does not have its facts straight when it comes to adoption. If they only knew that it was a 2 billion dollar business. They might stop promoting it as it stands now. If they knew that women and children are being hurt by adoption, they would stop promoting adoption as it stands today.
Cheryl Kalthofen

Australia

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#17
Jun 4, 2007
 
Dear Barry,
Adoptees in Australia have been allowed their original birth certificates and adoption details - including birth mother information - since the early '90s.
Our abortion rates did not dramatically increase over that time.
Domestic adoption rates are increasingly low - as parents in Australia are encouraged to parent - rather than give up their children - which in most cases is unnecessary and damaging to mother and child. Given good emotional, financial and society support - mother's can usually keep their children - and do a great job parenting them too.
This Bill has nothing to do with woman's rights.
It has to do with adoptees being allowed the same civil basic rights as every other human in the USA.
The knowledge of who they are.
Sincerely,
Cheryl Kalthofen.
joan

Tucson, AZ

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#18
Jun 4, 2007
 
Hi, if there are any parents here reading this:
State law requires each agency to maintain an adoption registry. Adopted adults age 18 or older can receive identifying information on their birth parents if the birth parents have filed their consent with the registry. If consent is not on file, the birth parents will be contacted for consent. Birth parents and birth siblings can receive identifying information regarding the adopted adult if consent is on file. If consent is not on file, a search will be conducted for the adopted adult age 18 or older to obtain consent to release information to the birth parents.
Since ct was not having parents sign waivers, at the time of birth, I would suggest anyone who is affected by this, summit a waiver.
Just write that I want my child __________ to have identifying information. PUT your name__________
and have it notarized.
Adoptees should do the same thing.
Joan

Since: Jan 07

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#19
Jun 5, 2007
 
I signed up for the registry, cha ching, the agency who handled my adoption charged like $150 to sign me up. They just never stop milking it! There ought to be a law, Oops I forgot, as an adopted person there are no laws protecting me. I practically don't exist. Just me and my fake birth certificate!

Since: Feb 07

Hartford, CT

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#20
Jun 5, 2007
 
Jay Tee wrote:
'Ct was open'
Am I supposed to know what you are talking about?
I think she means the ladies in CT were "open for business".
A birthmothers get anonymity while anonymous sperm donors can be tracked down and hit with paternity suits. Simply amazing.

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