“CALL MY MOMMA AND MY LAWYER”

Since: Nov 08

Location hidden

#1 Dec 21, 2009
Da Hood A Christmas poem

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat dear Ol' Obama's gunna brang us our checks.

All of da family, was ly'in on the flow,
my sister wif her gurlfriend, and my brother wif some h0e. Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, it must be da law".

I pulled the sheet off da windoe and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see made me say, "Laaawd look at dat".
dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by 8 big-a$$ rats.

Now over all of da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden, On Jessie, On Polosi and Hillary Who,
On Fannie, On Freddi, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho',- can you believe that Sh'eet!.

Dat Santy didn't need no chimney, he picked da lock on my doe,
an I sez to myself, "Son o' b**tch...he don did dis befoe"!
He had a big bag full of presents - at first I suspeck? Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold to wear roun my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my sh**t.He got my guns and my , and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my crap in his bag, out da windoe he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, but he snagged my knife too.

He jumped back on dat melon wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, "democrat son of a bitch".
So nex year I be hopin' a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws just ain't worf a shit!!!!

Merry Christmas, Bit***hes!
Amy

Saint Louis, MO

#2 Dec 21, 2009
That`s freaking funny!!! I can`t stop laughing.
tigerpride

Columbia, IL

#3 Dec 24, 2009
Hilarious!
TOO MUCH

United States

#4 Dec 25, 2009
This needs to be published, took me about 5 minutes to get through it i was laughing so hard. Anybody having a bad day needs to read this. It will make their week, I dont care what color you are. This was a gut buster.

Since: Sep 08

Mooresville, NC

#5 Dec 25, 2009
Very good Jim. Merry Christmas.

“CALL MY MOMMA AND MY LAWYER”

Since: Nov 08

Location hidden

#6 Dec 27, 2009
hope you all had a great christmas~!
Tha harde4st

Okolona, MS

#7 Dec 7, 2012
Mane this jent was NASTY !!!!!
me too

Columbia, IL

#8 Dec 10, 2012
JimBob777 wrote:
Da Hood A Christmas poem

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat dear Ol' Obama's gunna brang us our checks.

All of da family, was ly'in on the flow,
my sister wif her gurlfriend, and my brother wif some h0e. Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, it must be da law".

I pulled the sheet off da windoe and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see made me say, "Laaawd look at dat".
dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by 8 big-a$$ rats.

Now over all of da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden, On Jessie, On Polosi and Hillary Who,
On Fannie, On Freddi, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho',- can you believe that Sh'eet!.

Dat Santy didn't need no chimney, he picked da lock on my doe,
an I sez to myself, "Son o' b**tch...he don did dis befoe"!
He had a big bag full of presents - at first I suspeck? Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold to wear roun my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my sh**t.He got my guns and my , and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my crap in his bag, out da windoe he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, but he snagged my knife too.

He jumped back on dat melon wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, "democrat son of a bitch".
So nex year I be hopin' a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws just ain't worf a shit!!!!

Merry Christmas, Bit***hes!
I laughed so freaking hard - I cried!!!! This made my day!!!!

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

East St. Louis Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Eagles Club suit filed by Whitehead 15 min BOBBY BOOSHAY 107
us steel layoffs or closing down? 17 min Facts you have none 122
elyse york? (Mar '12) 35 min Church 21
marybeth walker 38 min really? 53
Donna Kay vandergriff 1 hr Hate deadbeats 1
*Keep a word - - Drop a word* (Aug '10) 1 hr Sandy in Texas 2,211
That old drunk bum trucker 1 hr Trucker 3
East St. Louis Dating
Find my Match
More from around the web

East St. Louis People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]

NFL Latest News

Updated 12:35 pm PST

Bleacher Report12:35PM
Who Benefits Most from Hiring of Gase?
Bleacher Report 5:14 PM
How Bears Can Make Most of Each Draft Pick
Bleacher Report12:00 AM
3 Mistakes the Chicago Bears Can't Afford to Make This Offseason
Yahoo! Sports 8:12 AM
The lure of LA for the NFL - mirage or 'must do'?
Bleacher Report 9:15 AM
Tillman Hints at Return to Bears with Tweet