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DatBitch

Jackson, MO

#1 Dec 4, 2008
Can anyone define "dead-beat dad"? I have to wonder what the outlook is. I have watched a friend of mine suffer because the mother of his child will not let him see their daughter. He hasn't seen her in over a year. He has made several attempts. This man pays 400+ in child support every month. Is it his fault he slept with a whore that just wants the child support to get drunk on? Her reason for not letting him see her is because she thinks he'll go file for custody. He has a job that he leaves town for so he knows that would never be a possibility, He just wants to see his baby girl. So, my question is....
Is someone who pays child support, thats refused visitation, a dead beat?
She broke his heart and he's just scared in my opinion, he doesn't want to hurt forever.
DatBitch

Jackson, MO

#3 Dec 4, 2008
He's barely home and has 3 cars payments. So, he pays the lawyer when he can. They're about to go back to court. I just don't get how she can call him a dead beat.
goodluck

Saint Louis, MO

#4 Dec 4, 2008
I've seen cases like this too many times, It don't matter what that hoe does wrong, in the courts eyes she shot the kid out of her sperm bank, she will win no matter what, sad but true, he should just save the money on lawyers, put it in the bank till the child is older, I heard a child can decide which parent they wish to live with a age 14? thats the only chance at getting to spend time with the kid without having to support that dirty azz, skank.
I say in a case like this, it's called WHORESUPPORT!
DatBitch

Jackson, MO

#5 Dec 4, 2008
THANK YOU!! Before I realized how dirty she was, we went out and she used her child support card to purchase her alcohol! The child wasn't gaining anything. There should be more laws passed for child support uses. It should go into a savings account or something?! I haven't spoke to her since that night. I hate stupid people
guest

United States

#6 Dec 4, 2008
There is always 2 sides to every story.
That is sad

Benton, MO

#7 Dec 4, 2008
I get child support and it is supposed to be used to support the child (not to buy liquor with). My child support does not always go into savings, but it is spent on supporting my child, for example we have to have food, clothing, water, lights, a roof over our heads , etc. That is what that money is meant to be used for. I disagree with people who get drunk and drugged up on their child support and then the child can't participate in this or that because the parent can't "afford it" or other words it does not fit into the parents life style they would have to give up their drinking or druging to have the money for it.
DatBitch wrote:
THANK YOU!! Before I realized how dirty she was, we went out and she used her child support card to purchase her alcohol! The child wasn't gaining anything. There should be more laws passed for child support uses. It should go into a savings account or something?! I haven't spoke to her since that night. I hate stupid people
jamie

Jackson, MO

#9 Dec 31, 2008
just letting everyone know matt huckstep is a deadbeat......hes giving up rights to our daughter Haley..not that hes ever been there anyway...so all you guys that has it out for him, throw one in for me...my bro. Brice will take care of the rest in a few months...thanx!!!
huh

East Prairie, MO

#10 Dec 31, 2008
i dont think child support should be based on heat, water and electricity, thats something you have to have not matter if you have a child or not, child support should go to food clothing, school activities and fun for the kids, i think the state of MO needs to develop some type of system that shows everthing the money was spent on, maybe like a credit card,and the custodial parent show have to provide receipts to the state monthly or she wont get TANF and if she is not providing the receipts or not spending it on the kids then there should be charges with medicaid fraud or something, because most of these moms are getting medicaid and TANF. I'm just saying some fathers, and mothers, would pay more if they knew it was going to the kid.
guest

United States

#11 Dec 31, 2008
Jamie you gutterslut. You have NO room to talk! I have seen you so drunk that you couldn't even walk while you were pregnant! I am NOT a friend of this matt guy, I barely know him. But I have seen you and how you treat your kids. Your poor father had to raise all of them from his death bed. So before you go talk about someone get your own shit straight. You are a dope headed whore! You are and always will be a DEADBEAT MOTHER!!! Try raising a couple of those kids and I bet you won't pop out any more.
Monte

Cape Girardeau, MO

#12 Dec 31, 2008
The system of CS definitely needs a major overhaul, with the parent receiving the money having to be accountable for the money spent. Then maybe the kids would actually get a part of it.
hmmm

Jackson, MO

#13 Jan 3, 2009
Ok I got to say something on this one...Thats just an excuse that some Dads and some deadbeat moms use too..oh I would pay if I knew it was going on the kid.While Ido understand that yes there are some moms that get child support and welfare that spend it on drugs and stuff like that and dont take care of their kids either and that is sad and wrong.but,if it's a mother who is taking care of her kids keeping them fed, buying their clothes, their birthday and christmas presents and doing everything for that child, it shouldn't be anyone's business what she does with the child support when she is the one taking care of the kid.And it goes the same way with a dad raising his kids on his own.
Mommy

Jackson, MO

#14 Jan 3, 2009
Some people dont even know the meaning of dead beat dad. I know afew of girls who have guys who pay child support and even have the kids on the weekends and bitch because they want more.
But let me tell you, I have a 7 year old son. His daddy probably says the same thing..oh if I knew the kid would get the money he would pay child support. Which is total bullcrap. It is just an excuse to make himself feel better about himself.
I have raised my son on my own his whole life. I am lucky to ever get child support. The only time in my sons life that I have received any child support was when the sorry bastard was put on probation for criminal non support, Then after 6 months I guess he got off probation or something cause now I get 40 bucks every few months. And I feel that since I buy all of my son's school clothes, all of his food(and no I do not get food stamps), and every other expense and His poor birth father has never even so much as gave him a birthday or christmas present or anything in his whole life,or even called just to say happy birthday or Merry Christmas or tried to do anything for him at all, it is no ones business what I do with the money. But, when I do get child support on the rare occasion that I do, I put it in a savings account in my sons name along with money that I have put in there myself out of my pay checks and it will go to his college fund.I am lucky enough to be able to get by and get us the things we need and pay our bills without his money, But I do understand that there are some moms who have to use the money to pay for electricity and things like that and it shouldn't be anyone's business.
stupid

Jackson, MO

#15 Jan 3, 2009
huh wrote:
i dont think child support should be based on heat, water and electricity, thats something you have to have not matter if you have a child or not, child support should go to food clothing, school activities and fun for the kids, i think the state of MO needs to develop some type of system that shows everthing the money was spent on, maybe like a credit card,and the custodial parent show have to provide receipts to the state monthly or she wont get TANF and if she is not providing the receipts or not spending it on the kids then there should be charges with medicaid fraud or something, because most of these moms are getting medicaid and TANF. I'm just saying some fathers, and mothers, would pay more if they knew it was going to the kid.
What? It shouldn't go on heat electricity things like that?Well I dont think it is fair for the woman to have to pay for all of these on her own and take care of her kids on her own, What you should be worried about is the moms that are buying alcohol and drugs with child support, You shouldn't dog anyone for paying their bills, It's really hard to raise kids and pay bills on your own.
guest

United States

#16 Jan 3, 2009
yeah I agree that you would have the heat, electricity, and water with or without child. However you have the child's clothes and the child that need to be washed in that water bill, electric bill and gas bill. An extra person in the household causes higher bill than just one person would. If that child has their own room seperate from the parent that is another room to heat or cool. So yeah the household bills should be included in the child support. You have to buy extra detergents, food, gas in your car also to run that child to school, daycare, extra circular stuff. As long as the custodial parent is not drinking or doping or anything like that, then the child would be benifitting from the money, even if it's not obvious at first glance of the child.
kids suffer

Farmington, MO

#17 Jan 3, 2009
DatBitch wrote:
Can anyone define "dead-beat dad"? I have to wonder what the outlook is. I have watched a friend of mine suffer because the mother of his child will not let him see their daughter. He hasn't seen her in over a year. He has made several attempts. This man pays 400+ in child support every month. Is it his fault he slept with a whore that just wants the child support to get drunk on? Her reason for not letting him see her is because she thinks he'll go file for custody. He has a job that he leaves town for so he knows that would never be a possibility, He just wants to see his baby girl. So, my question is....
Is someone who pays child support, thats refused visitation, a dead beat?
She broke his heart and he's just scared in my opinion, he doesn't want to hurt forever.
you wouldnt believe how many times that happens. mom is pissed at dad for not wanting her anymore and holds baby over his head. even if he pays child support , unfortunately other than legal aid if he qualifies . the state of missouri is stacked against men and they have to pay for an attorney to get visitation. my husband had same situation and requsted paternity test and was refused and after paying for the kid for 3 years, ended up signing rights over. If you're declined paternity , i think theres your answer.. plus the kid was suffering from all the trash her mother was feeding her. Like her daddy didnt want her. one of these days the truth will come out. hopefully your friend has the money for an attorney to fight for the baby
guest

Saint Louis, MO

#18 Jan 4, 2009
YES!I am for a change!I'd love for them to have to have itemized receipts,monthly too!I have a family member that works with the public....they can tell you all about a few that comes in & they know exactly what a bunch spends alot out of theirs monthly right off the bat&its every month!in one month a whole hell of alot would be doing fraud!call our Congress and ask them to get it passed,MUST HAVE MONTHLY ITEMIZED RECEIPTS!
kids suffer

Farmington, MO

#19 Jan 4, 2009
guest wrote:
YES!I am for a change!I'd love for them to have to have itemized receipts,monthly too!I have a family member that works with the public....they can tell you all about a few that comes in & they know exactly what a bunch spends alot out of theirs monthly right off the bat&its every month!in one month a whole hell of alot would be doing fraud!call our Congress and ask them to get it passed,MUST HAVE MONTHLY ITEMIZED RECEIPTS!
even if the good dads get receipts for what they get for their kids, like diapers , food , clothes, etc. in the states eyes its considered a gift! bs, huh? only way the dads will get credit for the child support is to send it thru the state. thats what we need to get the congressmen to change is that the little bit*hes have learned how to work the system and men havent got any rights with out putting thousands out before even getting to see their kids
guest

Saint Louis, MO

#20 Jan 4, 2009
I agree 100%,i know for a fact that this one i'm speaking of buys 2 cartons of cigs. out of hers every time she gets hers,thats why i say they should have an automated system that shows the state each item of every dollar that it is spent on,there'd be a whole lot of them rejected at the cash register!
Faraway

Seattle, WA

#21 Jan 4, 2009
How about we have an accounting for non-cutodial parents? I don't see them being harrassed for having a beer or buying a pack of smokes when they complain that they can't pay thier child support. If a person believes that thier child is being neglected or abused,it is up to you to report it to the authorities. If you believe that medicaid fraud is going on... report it.
Guest also

United States

#22 Jan 4, 2009
My son got a divorce about 10 years ago. He and his wife had a small child at the time. When the child support was calculated the amount was high for him but he did not complain. His attorney told him NOT to buy anything extra for the child other than gifts, etc. and to never give the mother any cash. My son was told that the formula was based on both incomes and the mother's portion was the part she paid on housing, food, utilities, etc. Each parent was responsible for X number of dollars toward the child's upkeep. The mother was to provide clothing and food for the child while she was staying with her father but this has never amounted to anything more than would fit in a small Walmart bag.

Move forward several years, the Mom now has a small zoo in her home but never enough money to buy clothing and supplies for the child when school starts. The father' family pools together and gets the child's things as Mom has too many other expenses she has to take care of--all those caged animals cost, you know!

Child support is never an easy subject to discuss and changes do need to be made.

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