We all need to laugh, post jokes here

We all need to laugh, post jokes here

Posted in the Dyersburg Forum

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Since: Feb 13

United States

#1 Apr 24, 2013
Little Johnny was sitting in match class when the teacher picked him to solve a problem.
"Johnny, if five birds were sitting on a wire and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
"None', replied Johnny,'cause the rest would fly away'.
'Well the answer is four', replied the teacher,'but I like your way of thinking'.
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there are three women eating ice cream cones in an ice cream shop, one was licking her cone, one was biting her cone, and one was sucking her cone, which woman is married?'
'Well,' answered the teacher nervously,' I guess the one sucking the cone'.
'No', said little johnny,' its the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you're thinking'.

Since: Feb 13

United States

#3 Apr 24, 2013
Man o man, I meant for this thread to be a stress release for us all. Didnt mean to offend anyone.
I for one, happen to believe that God laughs and has a sense of humor. I dont think he wants us to drool alone like zombies.
Juan

Tucker, GA

#4 Apr 24, 2013
What does a PGA vagina taste like.
Juan

Tucker, GA

#6 Apr 24, 2013
What does a pigs vagina taste like.
Juan

Tucker, GA

#7 Apr 24, 2013
PORK!!!

Since: Feb 13

United States

#9 Apr 24, 2013
Five important qualities

1--it is important to have a woman who cooks from time to time, cleans the house, and has a job.
2--it is important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3--it is important to have a woman whom you can trust and doesnt lie to you.
4--it is important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.
5--and, IT IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT THAT THESE FOUR WOMEN DO NOT KNOW EACH OTHER.
Juan

Cordova, TN

#12 Apr 24, 2013
What did the penis say to the condom?

Since: Feb 13

United States

#13 Apr 24, 2013
Living by faith wrote:
No Offence!
Hope I didn't Offend you.
God will have the LAST LAUGH!
Psalm 2:4-5
(4)He that sitteth in the heavens SHALL LAUGH: the LORD shall have them on derision.
Look up what derision means.
(5)Then shall he speak unto them IN HIS WRATH, and vex them in his sore displeasure.
Smile, God loves you!
Kewl, no offense taken.
Juan

Cordova, TN

#14 Apr 24, 2013
Cover me I'm going in !!!!!

Since: Feb 13

United States

#15 Apr 24, 2013
Juan wrote:
Cover me I'm going in !!!!!
I like that one! Funny.
guess

United States

#16 Apr 24, 2013
Husband asks: "Do you know that the meaning of wife is."
Without
Information
Fighting
Every time.
Wife replies: "No... It means."
With
Idiot
For
Ever!!!

Since: Feb 13

United States

#17 Apr 24, 2013
guess wrote:
Husband asks: "Do you know that the meaning of wife is."
Without
Information
Fighting
Every time.
Wife replies: "No... It means."
With
Idiot
For
Ever!!!
ROTFLMAO

Since: Feb 13

United States

#18 Apr 24, 2013
A 15 year old amish boy and his father were at a mall for the first time in their lives. They were amazed at everything they saw, espically the shiny doors that would slide apart and then together again. Neither one of them had ever seen an elevator.
'What is that',asked the young boy to his father.'
'I dont know son', the father answered.
Then suddenly and old woman in her eighties walked up and punched a button. The doors opened, and the old lady walked in, the doors closed.
The amish father and son stood there and watched the numbers as it counted upward, then stoped. They watched then as the numbers started counting downwards, stoped, and the elevator doors opened. And out stepped a beauitful young woman in her twenties.
The amish father was amazed. He leaned over to his son then whispered,'Go get your mother'.
Bad Gas

Sevierville, TN

#20 Apr 24, 2013
Unreal 1 is a joke
WTF Chuck

Lees Summit, MO

#21 Apr 24, 2013
The poster that calls himself carpenter is a joke!!!!!!
Pepper

Gladewater, TX

#22 Apr 24, 2013
crawlfish wrote:
<quoted text>ROTFLMAO
Hi babe. I'm not good with jokes but I will work on it and get back with you.
I owe you a pm and when I get up and going will get it to you:-*

Since: Feb 13

United States

#23 Apr 24, 2013
Pepper wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi babe. I'm not good with jokes but I will work on it and get back with you.
I owe you a pm and when I get up and going will get it to you:-*
No prob beauitful, just glad to hear from ya. You must be tired? Rest. Sleep tight, nice dreams.
Guest

Sioux City, IA

#24 Apr 24, 2013
While out to sea, a large boat became shipwrecked and there was only a single survivor. This man prayed and asked God to save his life. Soon thereafter, another boat came by and offered the man some help.
"No thanks," he said. "I'm waiting for God to save me."
The men on the boat shrugged their shoulders and continued. As the man became more deeply concerned, another boat came by. Again, the people aboard offered this man some help, and again he politely decline. "I'm waiting for God to save me," he said again.
After some time, the man began to lose his faith, and soon after that he died. Upon reaching Heaven, he had a chance to speak with God briefly.
"Why did you let me die? Why didn't you answer my prayers?"
"Dummy, I sent you two boats!"
Guest

Sioux City, IA

#25 Apr 24, 2013
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.“This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman.“Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says,“Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt?’” Only one word leaps to mind.“My goodness,” thinks the gentleman,“I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says,“I think the word you're looking for is ‘aunt.’”“Of course,” says the Pope.“Do you have an eraser?”
Guest

Sioux City, IA

#26 Apr 24, 2013
POLICE

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

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