Ex husband choses wife over his own child

Posted in the Dyersburg Forum

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Rhonda

Reading, PA

#1 Mar 6, 2013
Does anyone else have an EX who choses to ave nothing to do with their own children becuse the new wife or husband won't allow it? If so, how do you explain this to your child?

Since: May 10

Dyersburg, TN

#2 Mar 6, 2013
You tell your child that you made a bad choice in partners.
Seriously

Memphis, TN

#3 Mar 6, 2013
Chances are its nothing against the child. Its the ex that gives them problems.

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#4 Mar 6, 2013
Hellbilly 1 wrote:
You tell your child that you made a bad choice in partners.
Absolutely and be done with it.
OHMYGOSH

Santa Barbara, CA

#5 Mar 6, 2013
if his not man enough to stand up to her and see his kid anyways then its his fault

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#6 Mar 6, 2013
OHMYGOSH wrote:
if his not man enough to stand up to her and see his kid anyways then its his fault
Exactly. Forget the prick. Tell the kid he died.
guest

Dyersburg, TN

#7 Mar 6, 2013
Theres a lot of that going on in this town.
Jay Blade

Jackson, TN

#8 Mar 6, 2013
Seriously wrote:
Chances are its nothing against the child. Its the ex that gives them problems.
If they actually cared, they would go through whatever they had to in order to see their child.
imagine this

United States

#9 Mar 6, 2013
Jay Blade wrote:
<quoted text>
If they actually cared, they would go through whatever they had to in order to see their child.
What if they are flat broke, have no gas to come get them or food to feed them once their child support is paid to you? I don't know your situation but sometimes it's not that they don't want to but when your left with practically nothing and can't even support yourself then how can you also do for the child more than you've already paid to the mom in child support. If you have no heat or food, why do you want your child tome suffer and do without along with you? You wouldn't. You'd want them stay where you have sent the support to where they can have what they need. But that is just my view on it.

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#10 Mar 6, 2013
imagine this wrote:
<quoted text>
What if they are flat broke, have no gas to come get them or food to feed them once their child support is paid to you? I don't know your situation but sometimes it's not that they don't want to but when your left with practically nothing and can't even support yourself then how can you also do for the child more than you've already paid to the mom in child support. If you have no heat or food, why do you want your child tome suffer and do without along with you? You wouldn't. You'd want them stay where you have sent the support to where they can have what they need. But that is just my view on it.
And this is possibility that I didn't consider.
yearite

Santa Barbara, CA

#11 Mar 6, 2013
im sure they can see them for atleast a few hours or something
imagine this

United States

#12 Mar 6, 2013
yearite wrote:
im sure they can see them for atleast a few hours or something
If your kids live 40 or 50 miles from you and you have no gas money to go get them, how are you gonna see them for a few hours? Unless the mom is willing to bring them to you. I know people personally who have been in the situation where they drove to work close to their house with their fuel light on for days and then ran out and had to walk to work. I'm just saying, it could be situations like that. Not that it is in all cases. But a mother or father with custody needs to make a choice if it's more important to them to receive child support or have the other parent be active in the child's life physically. Sometimes the noncustodial parent is so poor after child support payments they can't afford to take care of themselves. Personally I think if you're receiving child support and it is causing the other parent such financial duress that they can't be a part of the child's life then you should reconsider involving the state's interception in your child's life. That being said, if it is the new wife keeping the dad away then if he allows it he doesn't care if he sees the kid anyway.
yearite

Santa Barbara, CA

#13 Mar 6, 2013
get a second job do what you have to its your kid do what you have to to see them there are no excuses
imagine this

United States

#14 Mar 6, 2013
yearite wrote:
get a second job do what you have to its your kid do what you have to to see them there are no excuses
Ok, so you sugggest second job....which more child support will come out of that pay as well....then wait, daddy is working all the time....still can't see his kid because he's either working or sleeping. That's not a solution.
guess

United States

#15 Mar 6, 2013
Most of the time the are just dead beat dads. I don't get any child support. Only thing I ask him is to come see them on a regular basis. And he can't do that. I always have to bring them to him. And bring food for them to eat. And he still can't have them in a safe place. And something bad always happens. You will be better off just keeping the kids all the time. At less you know they are safe and have food in their bellies.
guest

Dyersburg, TN

#16 Mar 7, 2013
the court is not going to make you pay more than a certain percentage. live within your means! thats the problem everyone wants to live beyond what they need to. and you are more than likly a smoker. so use that for gas money. be smart. only a few get angry because of the support.

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#17 Mar 7, 2013
guest wrote:
the court is not going to make you pay more than a certain percentage. live within your means! thats the problem everyone wants to live beyond what they need to. and you are more than likly a smoker. so use that for gas money. be smart. only a few get angry because of the support.
There are plenty guys that get the raw end. The system sucks for many.
guest

Mckinney, TX

#18 Mar 7, 2013
Its not just men that do that. My stepkids mother chose her boyfriend over her kids and has never looked back.
imagine this

United States

#19 Mar 7, 2013
Pepper_126 wrote:
<quoted text>
There are plenty guys that get the raw end. The system sucks for many.
That's right Pepper. But few people understand it unless they have been through it or know someone who has. If not they spew the same words from their mouths as guest did. They have no clue. Child support comes out of your check before anything, even taxes, then your taxes come out based on your gross, not what is left after child support. You also are not trying to live above your means when you drive a pos car, live in an old run down house, and go without heat. I know a man who made $400 a week and $190 a week came off the top for child support, then his taxes, then the cost of insurance child support also makes you take out so by the time they were done with him he had $170 left out of his check for gas, food, what ever bills were due that week (phone, water, electric, heating gas, etc.) He doesn't smoke. He never goes anywhere and wears thrift store clothes mostly until they wear out. I think he is doing all he can.
guest

Henry, TN

#20 Mar 7, 2013
yearite wrote:
get a second job do what you have to its your kid do what you have to to see them there are no excuses
Exactly!

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