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confused

United States

#1 Apr 30, 2009
why do women complain about not getting child support? i dont understand. arent there laws that force a man to either get a job and pay it or go to jail?
confused

United States

#2 Apr 30, 2009
i have heard so many women say, "i do this all by myself and he doesnt pay a single dime of child support!" dont these women know they can legally force the man to pay of go to jail? i dont understand the problem if it is as simple as it seems!
yep

South Sioux City, NE

#3 May 1, 2009
confused wrote:
i have heard so many women say, "i do this all by myself and he doesnt pay a single dime of child support!" dont these women know they can legally force the man to pay of go to jail? i dont understand the problem if it is as simple as it seems!
Obviously you are not in the situation that many of us are. I cannot "force" my ex-husband to pay me child support. Why? Because he gets paid under the table, so there is no proof of his income. We have been divorced for six years and we have been to child support court (NO EXAGGERATION)16 times. NOTHING happens to him. He has never been to jail, they have never pulled his license. He makes a fifty dollar payment the day we are in court and they let him go...they dismiss it. Even though his track record shows that he only pays when we go to court. He always says he is looking for a job...when in reality he has one, he just has no proof of one. So they cannot garnish his wages.

So how can I legally force him to pay? Let me know because I'm sure that would help alot of us out.
yep

South Sioux City, NE

#4 May 1, 2009
confused wrote:
why do women complain about not getting child support? i dont understand. arent there laws that force a man to either get a job and pay it or go to jail?
People always say there are laws...and there may be...but the people we have in charge here, do NOT enforce these laws. Many people have the misconception that if a man or woman does not pay their child support they will go to jail or have their drivers license, hunting license..whatever..pulled, but that isn't true. Not always. I go to child support court two or three times a year and there are men and women in there that owe $20-40,000 in back child support. And those people walk out of there. They make a payment that day and are sent on their way.
Sweety

United States

#5 May 1, 2009
My husband pays 307 weekly. His lazy x wife has never worked.
The Problem

Sioux City, IA

#6 May 1, 2009
The problem with child support is that CS Enforcement workers get a kick back for everything they collect. Their performance ratings are based on what they can get out of the noncustodial parents.

This is why the good dads (and moms) that they know will pay get the higher orders and are constantly being put through Hell because their caseworkers need to collect from THEM because they know the deadbeat dads (and moms) aren't going to.

They ignore the deadbeats because it's a waste of their time and will result in negative marks on their performance ratings. They are too vigorous in their collection from the good parents.

Single moms have every right to be angry that their kids get ignored when the dad is a deadbeat.

But all the good dads need to be equally upset about the deadbeat dads. THEY are the reason the GOOD dads can't get a break.
hmmm

Sioux City, IA

#7 May 1, 2009
regardless of if the ex wife works or not he still owes the money. Apparently he was ok with supporting the kids when they were together and that is what child support is based on. ... the level of support each parent provided when the parents were together. Thats why they use the income shares calculator. If you are unhappy with the amount then you have the right at any time to request a review. Also it is very true that the parent paying can just pay a little here and there enough to keep them out of court and keep thier licenses. And the ones that go to jail really dont care. They have probably already been to jail for something else anyway and its not a big deal to them. Some people really do have a hard time paying. And if they pay what they can when they can its understandable. I know that some women / men do take advantage of the system and live off the support but there are also those that depend on it to make sure that the kids dont go without and the other parent is spending that money out at the bars or on drugs. WTF .
yep

South Sioux City, NE

#8 May 1, 2009
The Problem wrote:
The problem with child support is that CS Enforcement workers get a kick back for everything they collect. Their performance ratings are based on what they can get out of the noncustodial parents.
This is why the good dads (and moms) that they know will pay get the higher orders and are constantly being put through Hell because their caseworkers need to collect from THEM because they know the deadbeat dads (and moms) aren't going to.
They ignore the deadbeats because it's a waste of their time and will result in negative marks on their performance ratings. They are too vigorous in their collection from the good parents.
Single moms have every right to be angry that their kids get ignored when the dad is a deadbeat.
But all the good dads need to be equally upset about the deadbeat dads. THEY are the reason the GOOD dads can't get a break.
Hmmm...that makes sense. I haven't heard that before, but I can definitely see where that could be true.
guest1

Lexington, KY

#9 May 1, 2009
Yes this is true about leaving the deadbeats alone and going after the one's trying to make aliving.And most of the time the working man misses some payments for whatever reason and they want to give him 10 days in jail now as in my case I see my son almost every weekend so when they give me 10 days 1 time.Guess who was hurt and wondering why I couldnt come get him them weekends, because I didnt want him involved.I wouldnt tell him.I had paid for 3 yrs steady lost my job and the first time I went to court _either pays us some money or do 10 daysI didnt have the money so I did the 10 and its aggravating when I know a few personally who havent paid cs in 2 yrs not 1 day in jail because they wont work and do not care about jail to being a regular so they walk and me I gOT BEHIND 3months 1 time when my unemployment run out and had another family I was trying to feed as well so I got 10 days my son was the one missing me and not understanding due to me doing weekends.
guest1

Lexington, KY

#10 May 1, 2009
I get my son more than usual and have provided insurance as well as cs. for 6 yrs consistent minus a few months 1 time

i also help with clothes ,boy scouts,basketball,baseball and he has a ps3 60gig psp a cr80 dirtbike all from me.

and when I asked about why they didnt consider the whole individual picture of my position .I was told there were too many coming threw the system for them to take time to look at individual cases .

So basically we are all grouped by child support as being current or behind

no matter the fact the people we are being compared with have not ever paid and most dont even see there kids and dont want 2

but thats the group we are grouped with.But after reading the post above on they get bonus from collecting thats the what they want us to think
when really working and caring and trying is our kryptonite we love and care and want to see our children.SO THEY COME AFTER US TREAT US LIKE we have no rights
When the ones who dont care
they dont mess with

you ask why ,because it was for the children

it would be money ordered, insurance and even if they didnt want too parenting classes ,supervised visits mandatory and event participation between father and children not just give us money or go to jail

This is the biggest finacial atrocity since enron
Simple Man

Dyersburg, TN

#11 May 1, 2009
What I don't understand with Child Support now is these debit cards they give you. They are charging for every transaction - even to check if you have money in there???
How can the state say they are "all about getting this money for the children" and then take it away from the children -
And that is exactly what they are doing - they aren't charging the parent to do this - they are taking it away from child support collected.
Can you IMAGINE how much money the state is making off these fees? AND THEY ARE MAKING IT OFF OF THE CHILDREN THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING IT FOR
And I know that if the parent gets a checking/saving account, it could be put directly in there and bypass the debit card idea - but lots of people don't WANT a checking account or can't GET a checking account....
Sorry - I just don't get it....
Simple Man

Dyersburg, TN

#12 May 1, 2009
And I don't get child support - so don't think I'm just b*tching.
guest1

Lexington, KY

#13 May 1, 2009
It has nothing to with children if fed aid was cut and it was stictly out of goverment pockets to go after child support they would not be doing this on the level that they are.Its all about skimming legally some off the top in every way they can.Its a legal reason to get our money and I think everyone should support their kids but at the percentage it is and I also think there should be an oversee'r who accounts for the support ,receipts,clothes,food,supplie s etc.

They are so adament about going after us to get it(money)
then what they do nothing after to make sure our kids are being supported by that money and if there is a problem call children services not the child support office
we just use the children to make our money and after that they dont care once collected and we have to live with this unbiased unregulated law. I agree with children support but there needs to be an agency monitoring them as well

there have been times i would be hit sideways by the fact my son had not been bought school clothes 1 week before school started and I dont pay a huge amount but 120 week.

and guess what i went and got him school clothes now thats 500 months and almost every weekend hes with me. and mon and wed he stays with his grandparents due to her school schedule do the math.
guest1

Lexington, KY

#14 May 1, 2009
sorry about ranting
obama nation

Fort Collins, CO

#15 May 1, 2009
confused wrote:
why do women complain about not getting child support? i dont understand. arent there laws that force a man to either get a job and pay it or go to jail?
this it true only if they can find the person that owes the child support.i personally know of someone right now that has 2 kids by a deadbeat.she is remarried,and they guy she married has like 3 or 4 of his own,plus the two that they now have together.so he supports like 6 or 7 kids.it would help if she could get money from the asshole that ran off.is it fair that another man supports his 2 kids....i think not.but no one can keep up with where he is.he moves around alot.only to avid paying her.when he lived in dyersburg he stayed in jail for not paying,but once he gets out,he's gone.
benji

Memphis, TN

#16 May 1, 2009
Well maybe everybody needs to sit back and think about these issues before they bring children in the world. Someone has to raise these kids and if you don't want to support them then don't have them. The children are paying the price for the parents, and that is why our world is going down the toliet. Be responsible if you don't want to supposrt a child then don't bring one in the world and it is both male and female responsibiltiy to prevent children coming in this world that no one wants to support money wise or morally. I raised my children on my income. Their father left me when i was 2 mons preg. with our second child i have raised and took care of my kids without their fathers help. $100.00 child supports does not go very far when you have medical bills to pay.
guest1

Lexington, KY

#17 May 1, 2009
Thats the same type dad that the ones who love and want to spend time with there kids and do pay cs and insurance get grouped with and gives legtimate reasons for cs to treat us all like crap.child support is based on percentages how come they dont figure in cost living depending on what city in tn youl live in. example dyersburg you pay the same percent in memphis but the cost of living here is much higher than dyersburg while the pay is barely much better.
timay76

Smyrna, TN

#18 May 1, 2009
To the one on here talking about "income calculators and all that mess" let me tell ou something. If the court system wasn't set up to screw guys in the first place (especially those who have educations and good jobs) you have many of these problems. The fact that say me and my wife get a divorce and I have to pay child support isn't the problem...the problem is when you have to pay extra or in the case of joint custody..have to still pay child support to supplement the mother's income.

Why should the man have to pay because the mother doesn't make as much money as him. Why should he pay because she may have not had the ambition and got an education. What if the mother remarries and the stepfather assists and makes more money that the "dad." All this is bullshit....real men don't worry about paying child support if it is going to the child. The problem is that real men get stuck with the attitudes of the women at the child support office and the attitudes of the court system for all the dead beats that never pay. Therefore, everyone knows that they keep a job and will pay, so the system can raise their payments whenever the feel like it.

Or, they can base his child support on a year where he worked 20 hours of overtime a week for half the year and now that overtime is cut out, he's up a creek! And before anyone gets on the soap box and starts about me being a bitter dad who pays child support...I don't live in that type of mess but deal with families on a daily basis who do. With a piece of nothing mother who sits at home with her unemployed dope head husband because the father of her children pays her $1200 a month for child support to be able to see his kids 4 days a month.
Simple Man

Dyersburg, TN

#19 May 1, 2009
timay76 wrote:
To the one on here talking about "income calculators and all that mess" let me tell ou something. If the court system wasn't set up to screw guys in the first place (especially those who have educations and good jobs) you have many of these problems. The fact that say me and my wife get a divorce and I have to pay child support isn't the problem...the problem is when you have to pay extra or in the case of joint custody..have to still pay child support to supplement the mother's income.
Why should the man have to pay because the mother doesn't make as much money as him. Why should he pay because she may have not had the ambition and got an education. What if the mother remarries and the stepfather assists and makes more money that the "dad." All this is bullshit....real men don't worry about paying child support if it is going to the child. The problem is that real men get stuck with the attitudes of the women at the child support office and the attitudes of the court system for all the dead beats that never pay. Therefore, everyone knows that they keep a job and will pay, so the system can raise their payments whenever the feel like it.
Or, they can base his child support on a year where he worked 20 hours of overtime a week for half the year and now that overtime is cut out, he's up a creek! And before anyone gets on the soap box and starts about me being a bitter dad who pays child support...I don't live in that type of mess but deal with families on a daily basis who do. With a piece of nothing mother who sits at home with her unemployed dope head husband because the father of her children pays her $1200 a month for child support to be able to see his kids 4 days a month.
I understand this and what you are tying to say but I REALLY wish people would start making this non-gender specific. While the majority of non-custodial parents ARE men, there are plenty of women that pay child support.
Also - I noticed someone said "his lazy exwife has never worked" - if that woman didn't work while they were married and stayed home to take care of his children, why should she now? Because he remarried and his wife may work and is jealous?
There are plenty of child support horror stories, but every story has two sides.
I am in a situation where the Ex (not mine) is not very nice about child support payments and is always trying to get more, but I also know that MY ex is getting the raw end of the deal with the state.
timay76

Smyrna, TN

#20 May 1, 2009
Simple...I totally understand what you are saying. However, I will say this...the cases of mothers paying child support to the fathers is not that high! I don't have all the stattistics in Dyer County but can tell you that the numbers are low except in the arenas of the mothers who have been incarcerated!

My point is that parents need to take the responsibility and use common sense. A mother shouldn't always get custody and a father that cares for his children should not have to buy clothes, pay insurance, and everything else and also pay the mother over a thousand dollars a month to make her car and house payment. Couples should attempt mediation before going to court and being fair with each other...because God knows that once the court and state get involved, it's all down hill

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